Shower Thoughts
The water was turned up hot, extremely hot just how he liked it. It was like a hug, a boiling hug, but a hug nonetheless, it comforted him in a way and in these times he needed that comfort. He looked at himself in the mirror, he could barely recognize himself anymore, he looked so unfamiliar, so forgein. His normally tan skin was pale and almost sickly, his toned body had lost some muscle although he was still in good shape, his normally messy hair had somehow become even more untamed, more scars were scattered on his body. His facial hair had grown out, his eyes were dull and over his left eye was a disgusting large scar. These were all big differences that the number two hero noticed, but the biggest difference hurt him the most. Once adorned with large beautiful crimson wings, his back was bare with two large scars on his back being the only evidence that they had ever existed. They were taken, the one thing that gave him purpose in this cruel world was taken from him.
The hero griped the edge of the counter as he continued to look over his nude figure in the mirror gritting his teeth thinking about the pain and anger that was taking him over. He had given up one of the most important pieces of him to people who had done nothing but brainwash and hurt him. He had given up his purpose to people who only wanted to exploit him. He gripped his bare back digging his dull nails into the scarred skin holding back tears. The bathroom started to become foggy meaning that he needed to get into the boiling shower.
He stepped into the shower, letting the water hit his chest and face, collecting water in his hands and splashing it onto himself. He turned around to allow the water to run down his back but instead of the calming feeling he would usually feel he felt distressed or angry or depressed he couldn’t put his finger in it but he couldn't stand the feeling. The feeling was familiar but not the good familiar. It reminded him of the day he lost it all. His breathing became fast and shallow as he slowly sank to his knees the water running down him and making the feeling more severe. It was like he could feel the pain all over again, as if he was reliving the scenario. He could see his wings turn black and fade into dust, he could feel the fire against the base of his wings. The feeling shredded his heart and lungs as hot tears spilled down his face. He could clearly see the scarred man's face, his turquoise eyes and his blue flames. He could feel the panic, the fear, the utter pain all at once. He couldn’t stop the feelings running through his veins. Soon his quick shallow breaths and small tears became full of sobs as the flashbacks kept replaying. The pain, the fire, the betrayal, everything was sitting on his chest as he spilled and cried out in pain. He felt like he couldn’t be ripped from this state.
Harsh knocks were heard on the door and a very panicked voice followed. “Keigo! Keigo! What’s wrong!?”
The knocks and voice pulled Keigo out of his head. The voice was one he needed in that moment,the voice belonged to someone who understood what he was going through. He quickly shut off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist before opening the bathroom door. There stood a light skinned brown girl with long white hair holding herself up by a crutch tucked under her one remaining arm. She looked at her fellow hero concerned, his skin was reddened from the boiling shower water and he was shaky obviously recovering from something short of a possible panic attack. Keigo starred at her as a few more tears fell down his face. “Rumi,” he whispered in a hoarse voice.
He looked so broken. Rumi was almost shocked at what she was seeing. This man was the number two hero, the cocky, confident, smart, fast , whitty Hawks and he was breaking down, his entire persona fell, his walls had finally been broken, he finally let everything out. She looked over him with a sad smile. “Get dressed, I’ll wait in your room, you can talk about it or you can just sit there, but I’m here.” Her rabbit ears had fallen downward in concern.
Keigo simply nodded watching his friend limp out of his bathroom. He let out a shaky sigh actively avoiding his reflection in the foggy mirror as he slipped on black sweatpants and a bright red t-shirt. He was relieved that his friend was able to pull him out of his panicked state, but he was very upset about what had triggered it, yet again something that once gave him comfort had to be ripped from his grasp. He sluggishly made his way out of the bathroom to meet a comforting smile from his good friend. That night they sat together, Keigo not speaking a word about what had happened in the shower. Rumi just sat there trying to cheer him up, make him laugh and try to bring a genuine smile to his face. It’s what they both needed after what the two heroes had been through together. This was their stress relief and their escape from their troubling lives.
The next morning Keigo tried again. He got into the shower but this time it wasn’t boiling, it wasn’t warm, it didn’t feel good. He turned the water to cold knowing what would happen if it were to be the way he usually enjoyed it. This is how he coped, this is how he tried to keep himself together.