day 14 "you better leave now"
“Thanks for coming with me.”
Bora smiles in response. It’s her genuine smile and comforting as always, even if it is a bit restrained by the circumstances they’re in.
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Handong laughs lightly, giving the shorter woman a small push. “I think if you had a proper schedule today rather than just practice, that and our manager would’ve said otherwise.”
Bora just scoffs playfully. “Please, he knows better. He knows I could take him.” She jumps away, miming a few punches with soft sound effects. Once she’s pleased with the giggle it gets out of the younger woman she returns, settling back into Handong's arms. “But, really. I can’t miss sending off my favorite girl.”
“I’m telling Siyeon you said I’m your favorite.”
Bora gasps, offended. “You would not-”
That gets a full laugh out of Handong, who glances around them before quickly kissing the pout off the shorter woman’s face. “I would not.”
Bora nods, satisfied with her answer, and dives in. She pulls Handong closer and nestles her head under the taller woman’s chin, listening to the soothing sound of her heartbeat. Handong returns the favor and tightens her grip, sighing lightly at the familiar and comforting position.
The shorter woman lets out a small noise in response, one that lies somewhere between her content whine and her pouty whine. Handong doesn’t blame her, since the same mix of happy and melancholy swirls within her as well. Standing here, in each other’s arms, it’s nice. Comforting. But they know their time is running short and the wait for the next time they’ll be like this will be long.
They stay like that for minutes, or maybe days, Handong doesn’t know at this point. But their manager clearing his throat gently snaps them out of it, even if it doesn’t make them move yet.
“You better leave now,” Bora says, but without any urgency. It’s the first time today Bora’s let any sadness leak into her tone, and Handong’s heart cracks at the sound of it. It doesn’t help that Bora contradicts her own words with her (lack of) action, still unmoving from their gentle embrace.
Handong hums in response. “I don’t want to.”
A sharp exhale leaves Bora’s nose, like it’s taking monumental effort for her not to echo that very sentiment. “You’ll miss your flight.”
“...What if I don’t care?”
“Dongie.”
The reprimand is finally enough to get Bora to lift her head. She doesn’t let go, but she looks Handong in the eyes to make her point. “I know how much you’ve been looking forward to this. It’s scary, but you’ll have so much opportunity.”
Handong can see hints of tears pooling in Bora’s eyes, and if she thought her heart cracked before… now it breaks wide open. She knows how much Bora hates to cry, and especially how much she hates anyone seeing her cry. Sometimes she still won’t even let Handong see it, and they’ve been working on getting Bora to feel okay with that for years.
“It’ll be hard… and I’m gonna miss you so, so much. We all will. But it’s only a few months. We’ll make it, and it’ll be worth it.”
Handong brushes a hand through Bora’s hair, a small fond smile resting on her lips even as her own eyes threaten to betray her with tears as well. “Only a few months,” she whispers, a soft echo of affirmation.
Bora smiles, cupping her cheek. “Exactly. A few months. And once all of China’s fallen in love with you, you can come back and pick right up where you left off.”
“Are you saying I can’t come back if they don’t? What if I only get half of China to fall in love with me?” Handong chuckles, teasing.
Expecting an equally playful response, or maybe a flustered reassurance that they’d still take her back, Handong’s caught off guard by the soft declaration her girlfriend does go with.
“Nonsense. It’s you, Dongie. With the opportunity this competition could give you to show everyone what you’ve got… Who could resist you?”
Feeling the need to lighten the mood after Bora’s genuine support, Handong silently internalizes it before switching back to the teasing. She’ll come back to those words when the days get hard. When she’s alone in some hotel, trying to find the comfort usually so easily accessible back in the dorm. When she gets back results, ponders over what she can do better, sees what questionable editing choices get made in the final cuts… she’ll come back to those words.
For now - private area for celebrities or not - Handong really doesn’t want to start crying in the middle of the airport.
“Well, not you, obviously.”
That gets a laugh out of Bora, who doesn’t even try to deny it. “Yeah, yeah. You’re my weakness and what about it?”
Smiling, Handong can’t resist the urge to risk one more quick kiss before Bora returns to her place on her chest. Both of their eyes have cleared up, and Handong’s relieved. She knows they’re both sad, and that this will be hard. She’s sure there are tears to be shed down the line for both of them. But she’s glad the send off itself didn’t have to be teary.
It’s the last time she’ll get to see her girlfriend in person for a while, and she wants to hold onto it. Remember the feeling of being in her arms, replay the last words of reassurance she’s given her. Handong knows it’ll become a bit of a lifeline for her as the weeks turn into months.
They stay like that a little longer, moments ticking by with them content in their own little bubble. No words, the sounds of the airport muffled and far away, unable to compete with the focus on each other's slow breathing and steady heartbeats.
"I love you."
They both say it at the same time, uncanny in how synched they are. It'd almost be unsettling if they weren't so used to being in tune like that. It gets another small laugh out of them as they both briefly squeeze tighter to emphasize their words.
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees her manager approaching again and knows their time is finally up. Reluctantly, she pulls away as Bora does the same.
“A few months,” Bora says, probably as much for herself as for Handong.
Handong reaches out, bringing the smaller woman’s hand up to plant a reverent kiss on her knuckles. “A few months,” she echoes.
And then Handong’s being swept away, the manager’s steps urgent since she knows he gave them as much time as he possibly could without risking missing their flight.
She’s glad for the way he guides her, since the airport blurs around her, her focus unable to settle on navigating the space when it remains centered on the woman she’s leaving behind. She watches her as long as she can, Bora's hand up in a small wave as they walk away.
Even once she’s out of sight, Bora remains her focus, her mind working to memorize every bit of their last encounter. Cementing the details of her face and the subtle nuances of her voice into her memory to hold onto for the next months she’ll spend away.
Handong takes a deep breath, holding it before letting it back out slowly.
Just a few months.