BRAND NEW GIRL
The rain is pouring down the bus’s window, creating paths in the moist. A gray neighborhood is passing by as the massive vehicle makes it way to school. Yeji sighs for herself where she sits alone. A low voice can be heard from the back, but other than that the rain has laid its silence over them. However, in the mind of Yeji there is nothing called silence. Her thoughts are fighting to be heard and keep raising their voices to beat each other. The closer she comes to school the more thoughts are coming through and the more noise they make. She has tried to shut them out by listening to music, but that hasn’t worked, they remained and the extra noise only drained more energy. The thoughts keep focusing on last Saturday, talking about the exchange of words, looks and touches she had with Ryujin. Why can’t they leave her mind? The worst part is the feelings they stir up inside of her, making her stomach go crazy and heating up her skin. No way she can effectively go through a whole day at school in this condition, but what should she do about it? She spent the whole day with Jisu yesterday and occupied herself with cleaning in the evening. Her parents had looked a bit confused when she started vacuuming at 8’o’clock but didn’t comment any further. Yeji had thought that the physical labor and the loud noise from the machine would have helped, but in vain. The only change that came with it was a clean room. Today her thoughts are racing just as fast as yesterday and if she doesn’t find a way to stop them then tomorrow will probably look the same.
The school bus stops in front of the school. Hyunjin walks out in the company of his busmate, who apparently is acquainted with Ryujin. Yeji remembers seeing them in the school cafeteria last week. Perhaps she should ask Hyunjin what that guy’s name is later tonight?
As they walk into the building Yeji constantly reacts to every blonde person she meets. How to stop it? It’s really energy draining to constantly, even though subconsciously, keep her eyes on every single person around her. Especially in a school corridor filled with students.
Despite having her eyes and ears open she doesn’t notice Jisu sneaking up on her.
“Good morning.” Her friend says in a low and tired tone.
Yeji makes big eyes and quickly turns her head towards her friend. “You scared me!”
Jisu innocently puts her hands in the air. “Well sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“I know, I guess I’m just a bit,” Yeji turns silent. What would she call it? Off? Not present? Thinking about yesterday as is if it was the most important thing in her life so far? No, she has to stop now. She’s in school and must pay attention to her studies.
“Tired?” Jisu fills in and Yeji nods even though that is not the complete truth. With Jisu talking about last night's dream they make their way towards the first class of the day. Focusing on the given assignments is easier than expected, which makes Yeji sigh in relief, earning her a questioning look from Jisu. She only smiles and mimes the word tired, an effective way to make Jisu quickly go back to her own work. So finally, the clock strikes twelve and it’s lunch time. They all wander down to the cafeteria where todays lunch is being served, today it’s some meat stew with potatoes. Jisu leads the way and they sit down together with a few other classmates.
“So, I’ve been thinking about buying a new autumn jacket.” Jisu says and picks up her phone. “I can show you which one I’m considering.” On the screen there is a girl wearing a light pink duvet jacket.
“It looks nice.” Yeji says and nods.
“Unusual to see a pink jacket during autumn.” One of their classmates adds.
“It’s more of a spring color, I know, that’s why I was so happy to find it now.” Jisu smiles. “The autumn colors are way too dark and a bit dull. Don’t take any offense if your jackets are in a typical autumn color. I just prefer the bright and colorful ones.”
“We’ve notice that.” Another classmate adds, making them all fall into laughter. Yeji takes a bite of her food and sweeps with her gaze over the room. She is sitting in the direction of where the students get their food. A few people are waiting with plates in their hands, just like Yeji did only a few minutes ago. They are happily chatting with each other. Among the students in line she sees her brother. He has his back turned against Felix and Seungmin to properly face the guy whom he sits with at the bus. They are laughing together with a third, much shorter person, who is dressed in a large hoodie with the hood over its head. The person has its back turned towards Yeji, but she still finds the person familiar. There is something with the movements and the energy the person is radiating that makes Yeji’s eyes drawn to it.
She continues to study the party as they draw closer to the food. When the unknown person leans forward to pick up a plate the boy from the bus reaches out a hand. He pulls the hood back and reveals the identity of the hood’s owner. A blonde female gives him a stern look, but not just any blonde female, a blonde Shin Ryujin. She punches him on the arm with her free hand which is met by a teasing grin. Her free hand runs through her short hair and Yeji watches it fall back into place. She feels her heart beat a little faster. Never would she have guessed that a simple gesture like that would have sent such a strike of lightning through her body. It seems like Ryujin possesses some sort of magical powers. She has the ability to draw Yeji’s eyes to her every time she steps into the room. Not only that but she also manages to appear in Yeji’s thoughts every now and then, especially during late nights. When Yeji went to bed yesterday she could picture Ryujin’s elegant face, hear her deep voice and smell her scent just like she was there. If that isn’t magic then she has no idea of what this.
Yeji continues to observe the blonde girl as the guy who sits with Hyunjin on the bus crosses his arms over Ryujin’s shoulder and draws her close into a back hug. He has a big smile over his face and even seems to be laughing. Ryujin answers by trying to meander herself out of the hug. However, he holds her in a tight grip and she has to forcefully turn around in order for him to release his grip. Yeji almost gasps when seeing how incredibly close they are standing to each other. Their faces are only centimeters away, almost as if they were to share a kiss. The though makes Yeji’s blood heat up and race through her arteries. What type of relationship does these two have? Are they more than just friends? Yeji has never heard anything about that, either from Hyunjin who knows the guy or from Ryujin herself. On the other hand, why would they tell her about that? For Hyunjin’s part he probably finds it irrelevant information for Yeji to know and Ryujin doesn’t know Yeji well enough yet to talk about it. Alternatively, there is nothing between them, because Ryujin puts her free hand against his chest and pushes him away with such force that he has to take two steps back, almost bumping into the person behind him.
“Hello, earth to Yeji, where are you?” Jisu waves with a hand in front of Yejis face. “What are you looking at?” Jisu turns around with her whole body and Yeji feels the heat coming over her again. For how long has she stared at the group of students, at Ryujin?
“Stop it!” Yeji whispers firmly and grabs a hold of Jisu’s hand. It catches her attention and the friend looks back at Yeji.
“Did you have a fight with your brother or something?” Jisu asks and meets Yeji’s gaze with a worried face. “You were staring at him as if you were in pain.”
“I did?” Yeji can’t stop the comment from slipping out of her mouth. In pain? Had the thought really troubled her that much? Sure, it’s completely new and unfamiliar to her, but pained? She doesn’t feel anything even close to that when looking at Ryujin, rather the opposite. For some unknown reason, thinking of Ryujin creates butterflies in Yeji’s stomach, butterflies that try to break through her skin with all their might. It tickles her nerves and sends warm waves throughout her whole body. The feeling is completely new for her, unexperienced and unexplored. The closest she has been to this is going on a rollercoaster, feeling the gravity tickle her insides and making her laugh to let out some steam. It’s a similar feeling, both making her feel very much during a very short time, both building up a tension, both slowly going back to normal afterwards. However, normal is not exactly the word Yeji would use to describe her state during the last few days. It’s like something has started growing inside of her, something that was planted a long time ago. It grows faster than before and she can’t stop hit, can’t hinder it from blossoming any longer.
The realization hits her like a hard rock. She has to let it all go. No matter what her parents say, she cannot deny what has been growing inside of her during all her teenage years. Never could she have guessed that it would take Shin Ryujin to make her admit it for herself. She likes girls. Oh, sinful thought, there it was. She likes girls. What will her parents think? She likes girls. What should she do?
“Yeji?” Jisu waves with her hand once again. “What is with you today? You have seemed off ever since we met at the lockers.” Jisu’s face is worried but her voice is firm.
“No, it’s nothing.” Yeji tries and looks away.
“You know I can tell there is.”
Yeji stares at her friend. The other classmates seem too engaged in their own conversation to take any notice. Should she tell Jisu what had just passed through her mind? Perhaps it could make her storms of emotions less difficult to bear if she could have someone to vent to at times? Jisu is after all her best friend and has always been there for her. However, at the same time Yeji knows just how much Jisu’s mouth can talk. Only one word to the wrong person and her secret will no longer be a secret. No, it’s better to keep the thoughts to herself. Perhaps it will be easier with time.
Just as Yeji is about to come up with some lie to make Jisu stop questioning her the classmate to her right turns towards her.
“Have you seen the last episode?”
As with a swing of a wand the private conversation between the two friends is gone. By looking at Jisu’s face Yeji can tell she struggles with holding her questions back. Too bad, Yeji never intended to tell her the truth, Jisu would never have gotten to take part of it, no matter how much tickling she would have used. Yeji’s secret is locked in the deepest dungeon of her heart. No one has the key to open it, no one but Yeji.