Chapter 2
The monthly dinner at the Shin family’s house is here. In 10 minutes they are expected at the porch of their next-door neighbor. Of course Yeji and her family members are already finished with their preparations and have gathered in their own entrancehall.
“Dongjun, do you have the keys?” Yeji’s mother asks her husband.
“I do.” He shakes the keys in front of his wife and smiles.
“Very well, then let’s depart.” She opens the front door and takes a step outside. Dongjun makes a gesture for Yeji and Hyunjin to follow their mother. When they both have stepped outside their mother turns around. She eyes them up and down, as always before leaving the house. Yeji holds back a tired sigh and instead puts on a bright smile. Her mother smiles back and pats Hyunjin on the shoulder.
“You are good to go.” She says and waits for Dongjun to lock the door. Even though there is still 9 more minutes before they are supposed to arrive they start the 1 minute walk. They leave their own lawn and follow the sidewalk. Yeji gazes up towards the Shin family’s house. It’s a size similar to their own but has a light pink wooden facade with tall windows framed by a white wood. Yeji doesn’t know much about houses but one thing's for sure, this house looks like something out of a children’s book. Her parents call it a bright Victorian house but that doesn’t say Yeji very much. She is fine by defining it as a storybook home.
They enter the wide wooden porch and knock on the massive door. Footsteps can be heard from inside and the door swings open. The bright face of Shin Bom greets them. Her aura is as captivating as ever, she is to say the least stunning. Aging has not put any harm on Bom’s looks, her beauty has matured into something exceptionally fine.
“Jiheun,” Bom exclaims when seeing Yeji’s mother and french-kisses her. “My favorite neighbors have arrived.” Her bright eyes shine like the sun a clear day. How can someone be as pleasant, as charming, as angelic as Bom? Is it possible for anyone to surpass her?
Yeji can immediately answer the question when Bom’s daughter Yuna makes an appearance. With a hand on the railing she descends the stairs, as striking and joyful as always. Even though Yuna is only 14 it is clear that she has inherited all of her mother's beauty. Everything from the scarlet red hair to the big puffy eyes and slender figure. No one can doubt that they are related.
“Come in.” Bom continues and holds up the door for them to enter through.
Yuna meets Yeji’s gaze and bows politely. Yeji bows in return and proceeds to take off her coat and shoes.
“Gunwoo and Hanguk are already in the dining room. We just finished preparing the food.”
“It smells delicious.” Dongjun says and pats himself over his stomach. “I'm really looking forward to it. What is on the menu today?”
The parents continue talk about the food as they all enter the pretty dining room. Yeji has always liked its bright and antique interior. It makes her feel like a princess, if so only for an evening.
They all greet each other and sit down at their usual spots. Yeji nods towards the father of the house, Shin Gunwo and the oldest child Hanguk. They both nod in return as Yeji continues to sweep with her gaze over the table. However, something feels a bit off. Isn’t there someone missing? The chair on the left side of Hanguk is empty and there is no plate, glass or cutlery in front of it.
However, Yeji gets no time to reflect upon it as Bom starts talking again.
“Welcome to our little assembly this Sunday evening.” She claps her hands together and smiles widely. “I hope you are all comfortable in your seats and that both the food and company will suit you well.”
“I’m sure it will be just as splendid as last time.” Yeji’s father Dongjun says. He grins a little too much and Yeji has to hold back the urge to roll her eyes. She has never understood how they can talk like this to each other. Or maybe they only do so when the children are around? Maybe they want to show them their best sides? Or are they very proper people? Probably the latter.
“So, how has your first week in school been?” Gunwo asks as he puts some garden-salad on his empty plate. “Have you gotten to show your teachers what good students you are?” The question is obviously for all children to answer but he sets his eyes on Hyunjin. Yeji does the same, and so does everyone else. The golden child of the Hwang family. The twin that is just a little better at everything, the one who has earned the most praise from their parents, their teachers and just anyone else. Yeji doesn't really mind. She loves her brother and he deserve all his prosperity. Besides, when he takes the spotlight at least Yeji can move a bit more freely. Probably the only benefit from always being in his shadow.
Yeji catches a glance from Yuna who playfully wiggles her eyebrows at her. She smiles back at her before once again facing her brother who finally seems to have gathered enough words to start talking.
“It has been a good first week.” Hyunjin throws a quick but noticeable glance over at Hanguk. Yeji picks up on a change of emotion in her brother’s eyes, but it’s gone just as fast as it came. He continues to talk in a proper and very non-enthusiastically way.
“The teachers seem to be good and the classmates are nice.”
“Do you kids share any classes?” Gunwo asks curiously.
“We do share some.” Hyunjin answers. “All three of us.” He nods towards Hanguk and Yeji.
“How pleasant, just like previous years.” Dongjun exclaims while adding some mashed potatoes on this plate. The school topic doesn’t seem to take them much further, and Yeji is glad for that. Instead her mother picks up a new subject. With her eyes set on Hanguk she opens her mouth.
“It has been a long time since we got to meet your lovely girlfriend Ryujin. What is she doing tonight?”
A silence thick enough to cut with a knife suddenly surrounds them all. Hanguk gets visibly tense in his position and stares down at the white tablecloth. Both Yeji and Hyunjin turn their head to look at each other. Yeji mouths a question to her brother but he only shrugs as an answer. Apparently he knows just as little as herself.
“They are no longer a couple.” Yuna says, obviously forcing a smile to spread over her face. A quiet “oh” can be heard from Yeji’s parents. Yeji herself is not too surprised though. It was several weeks ago since she last saw Ryujin, and then they used to meet at these family dinners every week before. However, she cannot deny the feeling of disappointment which slowly grows stronger inside of her. Ryujin had been a nice addition to the dinner party. She always had a second opinion on everything which flavored the otherwise so predictable discussions. Even though her beliefs sometimes did not match the other’s she was always respected and treated just like one of them. Too bad it didn’t last. Yeji wants to ask what caused the breakup but knows just as well as anyone in here to keep quiet. Those kinds of things are a personal matter and shouldn’t be asked about, especially not at an occasion like this. Therefor the room falls silent. When stealing a glance at her parents Yeji can tell that they, especially her father, are very curious to know the reason behind the breakup. If Yeji is lucky her brother may already know. Since they go to the same dance club after school he might have heard something that Yeji herself missed out on, even though he had seemed quite uninformed when they locked eyes earlier. She will ask him later tonight anyways. Or maybe she can ask Yuna? She might not be someone she hangs out with regularly, but they still share some kind of friendship, at least if you ask Yeji.
“Can you pass me the salt, please?” Hanguk asks and meets Yeji’s gaze for the first time this evening. A shiver runs through her body as she meets the dark eyes in front of her. She has never been particularly fond of the eldest Shin sibling. He has always had a slightly unpleasant aura, an energy draining one. It’s not too obvious, as one only gets affected when looking into his bottomless eyes. Otherwise it’s barely noticeable, as if there is a thick wall keeping all of that energy locked inside. The aura makes Yeji want to stay away from him, even though he has never done anything harmful. At least nothing that Yeji has any knowledge about. This time however, his eyes are not bottomless and empty. This time Yeji believes she can sense something very human, a feeling of sadness. But the sadness isn’t without company. It seems to be colored by something unidentified, something dark.
Yeji lowers her gaze and passes him the salt. The rest of the night she will do her best to avoid his eyes, that is for sure.
The dinner proceeds without any other big reveals, or anything interesting at all to be honest. When closing the bedroom door behind her Yeji sighs loudly. With heavy steps she walks up to her bed and lays down on her back. Why do they have to join in on these family dinners? Yeji can name a thousand other things she could have done instead of wasting 2 hours at the neighbor’s house with 4 over polite people and teenagers who want to do nothing else than leave the room. Well, now she cannot speak for the others, but she herself found this evening to be particularly boring. Usually there are parts that Yeji genuinely enjoy but this time it lacked something. Everything that was said was agreed upon by everyone else and the same type of things was said over and over again. On top of that Yeji had to avoid Hanguk’s scary eyes which was quite hard since he sat right in front of her. How she wishes that her parents would let them stay at home in the future, but she knows that asking about it would only generate a no, an offended and overly dramatic no. Because her parents really enjoy the dinners, she knows that. She can tell it by looking at their faces and listening to the tone of their voices. Too bad she can't say the same for herself.
She rolls over to the side and picks up her phone. She scrolls through her social media feeds. Picture after picture and text after text goes up and down on the screen. Every now and then she stops the scrolling to take a few seconds to admire some of the pictures. She sees a picture of her friend Jisu kissing one of her other friends on the cheek. While looking at the picture Yeji feels her face heat up and how her heart beats faster. Not again. Why does this happen every time a woman is showing physical affection towards another woman? Why does her body react this way?
She rolls over to her back once again and stares blankly at the white ceiling. She should just try to forget it, keep the emotions inside of her and not let them control her. Because she knows what kind of thoughts that have passed her mind the last couple of months, and those are forbidden thoughts. Thoughts that her parents would call unnatural. Does that mean she is partially unnatural? If she holds the thoughts back can she be less unnatural? What would happen if she cannot hold them back, if they, against all odds, take over her? That she doesn’t even want to think about.
Yeji sits up in her bed. No, it’s better to try to focus on something else, something that is completely natural. Like her schoolwork for example. Yes, if she keeps her mind on school she won’t fall into the deep hole she knows is growing inside of her. School work will help her to keep a straight course.