Waiting here with you
The anticipation of filming the nightclub scene is getting to Beau. She feels like she’s been vibrating with anxiety and excitement since Jester “cast” her and Yasha two nights ago.
Not only will she be dancing with Yasha. But it’s club dancing. Beau has been club dancing many times in her life and she always ends up going home with whatever girl she was dancing with. It’s the nature of clubs. She’s scared of what dancing with Yasha like that will do to her.
Now it’s Saturday and she’s in the University of Nicodranas charter bus with all the cast and crew of “Hello, Bees” on a four hour drive to Hupperdook Nightclub. Even Caduceus and Molly came along, to work as extras as well.
Of course Yasha is her bus buddy. Jester made sure of it by assigning everyone seats like they were in elementary school, as if Beau wouldn’t have willingly sat next to Yasha. Although, she must admit she’s been somewhat avoiding the girl for the past two days. She made study plans with Caleb instead of doing her usual nightly hangout study sesh in Shorthalt. Seeing Yasha with the knowledge that they would have to be so close together in only a few days would have overwhelmed her, and frankly Beau didn't feel like thinking about what that really meant.
So, she’s been avoiding her feelings and avoiding Yasha. Oops. Luckily Yasha hasn’t brought it up yet. Beau only hopes Yasha doesn't think she’s been avoiding her because she had learned about Zuala.
They chat it up for the first few hours of the trip, Beau sharing stories she’s heard about what happens in Hupperdook and Yasha sharing stories about the forbidden parties they would throw in Iothia. Jester keeps looking backwards from her seat next to Fjord, wiggling her eyebrows at Beau whenever Yasha looks away. The conversation comes to a lull, and Yasha takes this as her chance.
“Beau,” she begins, “Why haven’t I seen you the past few days? Did I make you uncomfortable with what I shared?”
Beau’s fears are confirmed with Yasha’s statement. Idiot , she thinks, I should’ve thought about how that would look coming from her side earlier.
“No Yash, not at all. I’m really glad you did and that you felt comfortable telling me. My certification exam is coming up soon so I just wanted to grind out some studying. Not that I don't study when we’re together, but I guess... I just mean I like letting you distract me,” she supplies, blushing slightly, simultaneiusly lying and telling the truth.
It looks as if Yasha already knows that Beau is telling a little white lie, but she lets it go, saying, “I like letting you distract me too, I do admit I have composed a bit more than usual in the past two days.”
Beau smiles, and they both become quiet for a few moments.
“Yash?” Beau asks, and Yasha looks over at and makes eye contact with the girl in response. Beau is taken aback by the multi-colored eyes meeting her gaze for probably the thousandth time in her life. Every time, they’re just as strikingly beautiful, and every time they take Beau’s breath away.
“Uh if you want, it’s totally cool if you don’t, but you could talk about Zuala more with me? I know sharing memories of people we love can be therapeutic in a way, and if you think you would like that, I’m here to listen.”
“Thank you Beau, I think I would like that a lot,” Yasha says in a nostalgic tone with a smile on her face.
Yasha talks about her time with Zuala for the rest of the bus ride, from mundane stories of them in class together, to them almost getting caught making out in the bathroom. Beau has to remind herself that Yasha has changed and grown since the sixth grade, she’s no longer docile, now she has a recklessness within her that Beau can’t help but be attracted to.
Wait, she thinks to herself, attracted to? Am I attracted to Yasha? Fuck fuck fuck, but her thoughts are cut off my Jester’s booming voice over the bus’s loudspeakers.
“Hello everybody, welcome to Hupperdook! We’re at the hotel right now so I can bring everyone their outfits and then go straight to the club so we can start blocking. After we finish blocking the night is your! We will start filming tomorrow morning before the club actually opens. Your roommate is your bus buddy and Professor Brenatto has the keys,” the peppy girl finishes her spiel and jumps out of the bus.
“Well,” Beau says to Yasha, “Here we fuckin' go!”
“Here we go indeed,” Yasha agrees, following Beau off the bus.
They end up on the ninth floor in room nine. A weird coincidence , Beau thinks, but heads into the room regardless. The very first thing she notices is that there is only one bed. What the fuck Jester, this has to be on purpose. She’s somewhere between pissed at Jester and excited at the prospect of being so close to Yasha. The intimacy still scares her though, especially with the implications of her potential feelings.
“Well looks like we’re sharing the bed,” Yasha says, seemingly unbothered, “Left or right?”
“Um uh yeah yes… wait what?” Beau stutters out, completely flustered.
Yasha chuckles and responds, “I asked which side of the bed you would like?”
“Oh um left is good with me.”
It’s then that there’s a knock at the door. Beau rushes over to open it so she doesn’t have to look at Yasha’s smug grin and get even more flustered, and reveals a bubbling Jester on the other side.
“Ok so I picked out these outfits especially for you, I hope you like them, I think they’re pretty cool,” she says, shoving the clothing bags into Beau’s arms and immediately running off.
Beau calls after her, “Thanks Jess!”
She’s about to open both bags when Yasha grabs her hand to stop her.
“Hey it’s a surprise,” Yasha says.
“What’s a surprise?” Beau asks, genuinely confused.
“The outfit reveals. We can’t see each other in our outfits until we start filming.”
“What, like we’re getting married or something?” Beau asks, not at all thinking about her words and immediately blushing when she does.
“Not necessarily,” Yasha says, still keeping her cool, but looking at Beau intently, “But it’ll be fun.”
“Ok sounds good I guess,” Beau says, still recovering from her previous statement.
They both head next door to the club to start blocking. It takes a little over an hour and they end up in the background, a bit back and to the left of Fjord and Avantika.
“So why did Jester cast Avantika as the lead of all people?” Yasha asks as they stand in their spot together.
“Oh don’t even get me started,” Beau says, “So Jessie cast Avantika before she and Fjord slept together, because she genuinely was the best actor that auditioned, but it’s super weird now because Jess totally has a huge and obvious crush on Fjord. Well, she used to be obvious, she’s kinda calmed down with it since the one night stand.”
“Hm,” Yasha responds, “Well, that’s a bit messy.”
“Yuup,” Beau answers, watching Fjord and Avantika, “She is talented though. This character is nothing like her actual personality, but she pulls it off really well.”
“I see. I wish Jester would just tell Fjord how she feels,” Yasha says, staring at Beau.
Beau continues, not looking at Yasha, “Yeah, but she thinks it’ll mess up the vibe of the movie. This project means everything to her and she doesn’t want her feelings to fuck it up.”
“It’s good to remember though,” says a voice from behind them, “That patience can curdle into apathy.”
Beau turns around and sees Caduceus behind them, who was apparently listening in on the conversation.
“What the fuck Cad why are you eavesdropping?” Beau demands.
“I don’t mean to, it just happens when you have good ears and people aren’t whispering,” he says with a shrug, but looking at Yasha instead of Beau. He continues, “One should always keep moving forward,” and walks away.
Beau finally looks to Yasha who has just begun to blush. Beau doesn’t quite understand why, but shakes it off and focuses back on Jester who has begun giving instructions.
“Ok everybody we’re done with blocking, everyone is free until tomorrow at 9am sharp, thank you!” She shouts through the megaphone.
Yasha and Beau hang back in the club, waiting for Jester to finish her directorial duties. Once she’s done, Beau goes up and asks, “What’s the plans for tonight?”
“What do you mean? There’s nothing left to do,” Jester says, looking through her agenda on her clipboard worriedly.
“Noooo,” Beau responds, “Let’s go out! Have some fun! We’re in Hupperdook and you know what they say?”
“What happens in Hupperdook stays in Hupperdook,” Yasha supplies proudly from behind Beau, remembering their conversation about the wild city earlier.
“But Beau tomorrow is a really big day for me I should check that everything is ready and get some rest-”
“Or,” Beau says, cutting her off, “You go to a bar with your friends because you’ve been working so hard.”
“But Professor Brenatto will be so disappointed if-”
Jester is cut off again, but this time it’s not Beau, “The girl is right Jester,” Professor Brenatto says, walking up, “And you’re nearly graduated, you can call me Veth.”
“See!” Beau boasts pointing to Veth.
“Okaaay, but I’m not drinking,” Jester agrees, looking nervously at Veth.
“I’ll text the squad,” Beau says, making a group chat for all their shared friends. She does miscount thought and names the group The Mighty Nein, taking the German spelling from Caleb.
“Were you already drunk when you made the chat? There are eight of us and you spelled the German for no?” Caleb would ask her later, but Beau didn’t care nor did she have an explanation, she was ready to have a great time.
They end up at The Blushing Tankard, which is allegedly the best bar in town. On the way there, Beau notices a vendor on the street selling flower necklaces. She doesn’t know why, but she makes a note of this in her head.
The rest of the night is a blur. Beau has some memories of arm-wrestling Veth, and Veth winning. She was shocked that the tiny woman could beat her, and needing to save face Beau looked to Yasha and said, “I’m more into the endurance type of training.”
At one point, she notices Yasha and Jester having a hushed conversation, but before her intrigue can grow, Caleb hands her another shot to do with him, Molly, and Fjord. By the time she downs it, the thought was long gone from her mind.
She also vaguely remembers the idea of Beau opening a bar being thrown around. They came up with several puns, but the clear winner came from Jester with “The BeaureBar.”
The only other clear memory from the bar is when the fireworks went off. Caduceus was the first to notice the sounds of the initial smaller ones going off in the night sky. The rest of the bar, locals, Beau assumed, seemed unbothered. But the group of eight tourists rarely got to see fireworks so they rushed outside to witness the spectacle of light in the sky.
Beau had seen fireworks once before. What she had never seen, something she only had once chance to see, was Yasha’s reaction to seeing them for the first time.
The group is lying down on the sidewalk outside the bar, looking at the sky, but Beau is just looking at Yasha. She looks enchanted by the sky above her. Beau doesn’t think she’s seen Yasha look this at peace since the sixth grade. She carries a weight with her, rightfully so, but Beau is glad to see that Yasha is looking a bit lighter in this moment.
They stumble their way back to the hotel. Beau is completely wasted and relying on Yasha to help her through.
“Yash, you’re so… you’re so great,” Beau says, slurring her words as they travel up the elevator together.
“You’re pretty great too,” Yasha says. They’re both blushing, and Beau doesn’t know whether it’s from the alcohol or from their proximity to each other.
They manage to safely get back into room 9 and Beau immediately falls onto the bed. Shortly, after Yasha lies right next to her.
Suddenly, Beau’s head is much clearer. She had forgotten about the single bed situation. If she had remembered, she might not have gotten as drunk, out of the fear of doing something stupid in her intoxicated state. She lies like a statue, unmoving, not touching Yasha.
“Beau,” Yasha begins. Beau looks at her wide eyed and Yasha continues, “Why are you being weird.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Beau says, clearly knowing what she means.
“We slept in the same bed together all the time for sleepovers.”
Beau wants to protest, but doesn’t trust her drunken words enough. She wants to say, “Yeah but it’s different now,” but that would require her to explain how and why it’s different. She doesn’t understand her feelings just yet, and she definitely doesn’t understand them drunk. So, instead of protesting and revealing something she isn’t ready for yet, she simply says, “Good point,” and relaxes her body.
Yasha chuckles at the girl’s antics and extends out her arm for Beau to lie on. It reminds them of when they were kids, and Yasha would comfort Beau and hold her as she cried about the way her father treated her.
It’s an odd type of nostalgia, but Beau immediately melts into Yasha’s arms, getting closer than she would have if she were sober, and quickly falling asleep.
Yasha’s alarm was set for 7:00 AM, giving them plenty of time to wake up. Beau immediately groans at the sound, already feeling her hangover setting in,
“Whyyy,” she begins to moan, pulling a pillow over her head.
“Beauregard,” Yasha says in a jokingly stern manner, “It’s time to get up. We have to film in two hours.”
“Just… one more… hour,” Beau says, sleepily cuddling into Yasha without realizing it.
“Ok,” Yasha concedes, “We can take another few minutes,” and she lies back down next to the smaller girl in her arms.
Yasha lets another thirty minutes go by until she gets up, making sure to escape Beau’s grasp. Beau once again groans at the prospect of getting up, so Yasha brings her two Advil's and some water.
“Do you not get hangovers or something,” Beau asks, removing the pillow from her head.
“I do, I just didn’t drink nearly as much as you last night,” Yasha supplies.
Once Beau finally rolled out of bed, Yasha says, “You have to change first so I know you won’t peak at what I’m wearing.”
“Ughh fine,” Beau says heading into the bathroom.
She opens the bag Jester had given her and was pleasantly surprised by what she saw. Jester had given her black ripped skinny jeans, a short sleeve white button down, and a nice black bra to go underneath. At the bottom of the bag is a nice pair of strappy heels, only about two inches high. Beau puts on her ensemble, leaving most of the buttons undone and the shirt tucked into her pants, and puts on some mascara and eyeliner. She doesn’t like overdoing the makeup, she’s always thought simpler was better. She left her hair in its usual topknot, but redid the braid to catch the fly away hairs.
As she’s about to exit the bathroom, she calls out to Yasha, “I’m coming out now, close your eyes.”
“I thought you said you came out in the ninth grade?” Yasha jokes back.
Beau exits the bathroom and sees Yasha, face down on the bed. She never was one to cheat. Beau, attempting to retain some of her composure for the day, cheekily responds, “I almost came out to you at the sixth grade dance, but that’s a story for another time.”
“What-” Yasha begins, but Beau had already left the room.
It’s been 20 minutes and still no sign of Yasha in the nightclub. Beau is getting impatient. Just as she’s about to text Yasha, checking to see if everything is ok, the girl comes rushing in. Beau tries to take in her whole look, but as soon as Yasha finds Beau, she grabs her and pulls her into the bathroom.
“Beau, I need your help.”
“What yeah yeah yeah, wh- wh- what is it?” Beau manages to say, composure completely gone, her heart skipping a beat.
Yasha is wearing denim skinny jeans as well, but not ripped, a white fitted tank top, and a leather jacket over it. Yasha is also wearing two inch high heels, maintaining their height difference. Her hair is down, which Beau doesn’t see often, and she’s wearing blue eyeshadow and eyeliner. She’s stunning, is all Beau can think. Apparently Yasha’s mind isn't too far off from Beau's.
“You look incredible Beau,” Yasha says, completely distracted from whatever she had needed.
“Th- thanks you look incredible as well.”
They spend a few moments in silence taking each other in, until Beau says, “What did you need me for?”
“Oh,” Yasha says, shaking her head back into focus, “My shirt has a zipper in the back, I can’t get it up all the way.”
“That’s what he said,” Beau naturally responds. She would normally give Yasha shit about the whole secret outfit thing somewhat backfiring on her, but Beau is too focused on the fact that she has to zip up Yasha’s top.
It’s then that Beau sees the back of Yasha’s jacket. It’s not a normal leather jacket, this one has a beautifully detailed painting of pink flowers on the back that travels down the sleeve. Beau recognizes this as Jester’s work.
“Did Jess paint this for you?”
“I guess, I haven’t gotten the chance to ask her about it yet,” Yasha responds turning over her shoulder to look at Beau, “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”
“I didn't peg you for a flower type of girl.”
Yasha smiles sadly and responds, “I didn’t care for them much until I met Zuala. She was fascinated with them. She began a collection in our dorm on the windowsill where she would replant flowers she found around. I find myself still picking flowers when I’m out and about for her.”
“That’s really sweet Yash,” Beau says as Yasha takes off the leather jacket, revealing her barely zipped top and pulling her hair to the side.
Beau’s fingers shake as she begins to zip it up. She’s trying way too hard not to touch Yasha’s skin, scared the contact would set her heart on fire. She manages to do it up the rest of the way by only grabbing the bottom of the shirt. After, she lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She thinks she sees Yasha do the same.
“Um, thank you Beau.”
“Yeah yeah yeah cool cool cool no problem. Hey let’s get back into the club they’re probably waiting on us to start."
“Ah yes, that’s a good idea,” Yasha responds, grabbing Beau’s hand and leading them back into the club. Beau’s heart begins to flutter when their hands meet, and it doesn’t stop.
Jester gives the instructions for the scene. Ideally, it shouldn’t take more than three hours. The scene itself was only supposed to take about five minutes, but they needed multiple angles and the utmost consistency within the several shots.
This was the pinnacle of the film, where the title was coming to fruition. While Fjord and Avantika’s characters are dancing together, the imaginative girl begins seeing bees floating about. This is the first time in the movie that the boy sees the world as she does. Beau knows it’s important to Jester that every shot, every glance, every emotion on their faces came through as she envisioned it.
What’s not quite as important in this vision though, is the extras. This is a relief to Yasha, who had revealed to Beau last night that she wasn’t super comfortable with this style of dancing. Still, they manage to find a groove in the repetitive techno track. They keep a respectable amount of distance apart, dancing together without making direct contact for a majority of the time.
“It’s been a while since we’ve done this,” Yasha says, recalling their final dance together.
“Yeah, I did say we’d dance again, and as we know, I’m never wrong,” Beau jokes.
“Oh yeah... never wrong,” Yasha teases back.
“Mhm. Never.”
“What about when you said Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would be together forever?”
“Don’t you bring Brangelina into this,” Beau challenges, reigniting her old passion about the couple.
Yasha laughs and returns to simply dancing with Beau, and Beau does the same.
They’re nearly to the end of the filming process, and Beau is proud of herself for keeping it together so well, which is exactly when Jester decides to give the extras some more directions.
“Ok so,” she begins, “Extras I need you guys to get a little closer together for this part. We’re filming the wide shot so I really need to believe that you all are couples who are into each other so we can contrast that with the awkwardness of the protagonists.”
Beau doesn’t think about the implications of this at first. She takes her friend’s words seriously and pulls Yasha in closer by the waist before her brain has time to catch up.
The music begins again, and they start dancing together, impossibly close. Beau readjusted her hands to Yasha’s shoulders and Yasha put her hands on Beau’s waist. Beau can’t help but notice how low Yasha’s hands are. They aren’t scandalously low, but it makes Beau blush regardless.
As they continue to dance, somehow they end up getting closer, and closer together. Beau doesn’t think she’s breathing anymore. Her heart is beating out of her chest and she can’t do anything but stare into Yasha’s eyes, and Yasha is staring right back.
If someone had taken a picture right then, it’d look like the moment before two people kiss. But, they stay in their stalemate, swaying their hips together as if no one else was around.
Yasha’s eyes are so beautiful, Beau thinks, Yasha’s beautiful , she adds. She lets herself escape in the moment until memories of being twelve years old come rushing back to her.
She remembers the same confusion of how she felt, the same yearning to be closer to Yasha, the same love in her heart.
Wait, love? Beau thinks. Oh shit. I’m fucked.
Beau doesn’t think she’s been in love with Yasha this whole time, but it definitely wasn’t hard to fall back into it once they were reunited. Twelve year old Beau refused to think about her best friend like that, but now she’s grown up.
She wouldn’t necessarily call them best friends anymore, but Yasha is undoubtedly the most important person in Beau’s life. Her love has grown up with her and evolved into something deeper. It doesn’t change the fact that Beau has always been terrified about her future, and her “real-life” getting closer everyday. But, she realizes that the prospect of growing old with Yasha actually comforts her. In fact, she doesn’t think of anything she could want more.
Fuck man, I’m really in deep , she thinks to herself, somehow managing to keep a straight face while still dancing with Yasha. Her brain is going a million miles a second as she gazes into Yasha’s eyes. This time, she doesn’t look away.
Beau had completely forgotten they were filming a movie. When Jester shouts out, “That’s a wrap people!” Beau physically jumps out of Yasha’s arms. She manages not to let out a yelp, but takes a few seconds to compose herself.
“That was fun,” Yasha says.
“Yeah that was really nice. I missed dancing with you. I know we only did it one time, but I wanna keep doing it.”
“I would like that too. I think I’ve only ever enjoyed dancing if it was with you.”
The girls smile at each other until Beau can’t handle the palpable tension anymore.
“You can head back to the hotel. I’m gonna hand back for a sec to talk to Jess.” Yasha nods in response, and Beau’s eyes follow her out of the club. She didn’t actually need to talk to Jester, she just needed a second to catch her breath and lower her heart rate.
She waits five minutes, and then exits the club, but in the opposite direction of the hotel. Instead, she makes her way towards The Blushing Tankard and stops at the flower vendor. She asks for the best flower necklace he’s got, but before he gets the chance she points one out herself. It’s a woven string of purple and turquoise lilies, and it reminds her of Yasha’s eyes. She pays for it and walks back to her hotel with a pep in her step.
When she gets back, Yasha is in the shower, so she waits, sitting on the bed, just thinking about the taller girl and the gift she’s ready to give her.
When Yasha emerges out of the bathroom, once again in her normal clothes, and Beau wastes no time in presenting her the flower necklace.
“I got this for you,” Beau says, extending it out towards Yasha. She realizes that maybe she should have spent her time thinking of a more tactful and sweet way to do it, but it’s too late for that now.
“Beau, that’s really thoughtful of you. It's so beautiful. You know, lilies were Zuala’s favorite flower, she would have loved these,” Yasha responds, putting the necklace on.
Oh yeah, Beau thinks, Zuala. The love of her life who’s dead. I’m an asshole.
Beau only responds with a nod and a smile, her heart aching for Yasha to love her back. She grabs her clothes to change and packs up her overnight bag, and they enter the bus together for the ride back to college.
She spends most of the ride staring out the window, just thinking. Yasha seems perfectly content, while Beau internally is tearing herself apart. Eventually she reaches a conclusion.
Basically, I can’t make a move on Yasha. That would be really insensitive and I’m not a complete dick. If she likes me she likes me, if she doesn't, she doesn't. Ball is in her court. I’ll wait as long as she needs.