Revenge Party
“She’s working for my dad!” Adrien screamed in distress, alarming The Primaries. “Lila, sh-she’s working for my dad to separate me from anyone! She even suggested that I should be homeschooled again!”
”Aw,” Marinette cooed as she got up off her chaise and went to pull him in for a hug. “Adrien, of course she’s working for your dad; they’re both awful, awful people.”
“At the start of the school year, she threw this massive party-“
Nathaniel cuts Chloé off, “Chloé Alyssa Bourgeois! Do not say it!”
Adrien huffed, “Guys, I already know about this story. She couldn’t invite Nath or any of the others guys, because-“
”That’s what she told you?!” Nathaniel exclaimed angrily. “Oh, Lila Rossi is a dirty liar!”
”Adrien, here’s what really happened-“
”Chloé, don’t!”
Chloé ignored Nathaniel’s plea. “Lila came up to Nathaniel during school one day where no teachers were around and she went all,” she makes her voice high pitched and sickingly sweet-sounding, “Nath, I can’t invite you to my pool party because I think you’re gay. And I can’t have a gay guy at my pool party because there are gonna be guys there in their swim trunks.”
Marinette nodded as she wrapped her arm around Nathaniel in a comforting manner, “Yeah, and she just kept asking, ‘Are you gay? What are you?!’”
”Well, what did he say?” Adrien asked, looking to Nathaniel for an answer.
”What could he say?” Chloé retorted. “It wasn’t a real question, just something to get under his skin and make him get angry at her so she can get sympathy points!” She starts chuckling. “B-but it ended in a pretty hilarious way. Nath just looked her in the eye and-“
”Don’t!” Nathaniel yelled.
”Either you say it, or I will,” Chloé sang.
After a few seconds of weighing his options, Nathaniel let out a groan before saying, “I... Am a space alien, and I have four butts!” Immediately, he covered his face with his hands out of embarrassment. He still cringed at the memory. After he said that, he hid in his hoodie for the entire day. Back then, he wore hoodies a lot.
Marinette pats his head while stifling a few giggles, “It was a poor choice, but we were twelve and said stupid stuff without thinking. Then by lunch, someone sharpied ‘Queerstronaut’ on his locker. But it got bad after that. Lila lied about something Nath did so no one in class would talk to him. His parents pulled him out of school for the rest of the year.”
Nathaniel let out a sigh, “And it’s not even true. I’m Bi... And I only have one butt.”
Adrien resisted the urge to laugh, “Nath, I’m so-“
Marinette storms over to the blonde and grabs him by the shoulders, “Adrien, don’t even think about apologizing, because now you know, Adrien, Lila Rossi is not your friend!“ She gestures to herself, Chloé, and Nathaniel, “We are your friends! And we're going to make her pay!”
Adrien is on board for this, he’s prepared for anything. But not for what Marinette does next.
”You know what friends do?” She started singing. “They've got your back and they're fun to be around!”
Chloé and Nathaniel joined her, “Whuh-oh, whuh-oh, whuh-oh!”
“When someone hurts you then they attack!” She punched Adrien in the arm, making him recoil a bit. “And grind your foe into the ground!”
“Whuh-oh, whuh-oh, whuh-oh!”
“Imagine a party with dresses and cake!
And singing and dancing and cake!
And there's a magic act that saws Rossi in half!” For emphasis, Marinette sliced her hand through the air in a swift motion. “And this time it will take...!”
“Now that's a party,” Nathaniel said.
“A revenge party!
A party that ends
With somebody's head on a spike!”
“Whuh-oh, whuh-oh, whuh-oh!”
All three of the sang the next part together,
”It's a revenge party!
With your new best friends!
It's like a party with revenge it's what it's like!”
Marinette started speaking normally again, “For this to work
You're gonna have to pretend like you still like her. Can you do it?”
Adrien nodded, a look of determination on his face, “Yes.”
The next day, when Adrien walked into school, he tried to greet Lila as nicely as possible as he walked into class, “Hey, Lila.”
“Hey, Adrien!” She greeted in that all too high-pitched tone. “So, guess what? Your dad changed your schedule! So now we can hang out more!”
Adrien resisted the urge to scream, run home, and punch that man in the face, “Oh, joy.”
“It's a revenge party!
A party that ends!
With eggshells all over the wall!
It's a revenge party with your new best friends!”
“Then Lila gets her karma and she’s gone!” Adrien sang.
“Yes, Adrien!”
“Then Lila gets her karma and she’s gone!”
Students outside the class weren’t oblivious to what’s been going on in the Akuma Class. They knew Lila and that class had something to do with The Primaires transferring to Mme. Mendelive’s class and Adrien’s slight withdrawal
“What that class doing?
What is Rossi wearing?
Is she really dating Adrien?
A liar, a liar! She fibs everything!
Lies for everything!
A liar, a liar, a liar!”
“Next, we take away Lila’s only achievement,” Marinette presents a tray of harmless looking granola bars. “Being a model for your dad. Fortunately, that man is shallow as a kiddie pool and points out every little flaw.”
The next day at school, Adrien made sure Lila saw him eating one of the bars Marinette showed him, which he learned were Kälteen bars that made people gain weight like crazy. His dad will no doubt berate Lila for losing the “perfect model figure.” ... Is it wrong to want to hit your own father?
“What is that?” Lila asked, pointing to the fattening snack.
Adrien shrugged, “Father’s making me eat these Kälteen diet bars so I can lose more weight.”
“Oh! Well, I need to lose three pounds!” She fluttered her eyelashes while stroking Adrien’s arm. “Could you bring me a whole box?”
“A revenge party!
A party that ends!
With somebody crushed and alone!”
“And ugly crying!” Marinette added.
“It's a revenge party with your new best friends!
It's like a party and revenge is what is like!”
“What is Rossi eating?
Got fired for her figure?
Did her hips get bigger?
A liar, a liar, a liar, she fibs for everything
Lies for everything
A liar, a liar, a liar!”
“We got to go harder!” Marinette said determinedly. “If we could just get Alya to think that Lila is mad at her, she might spill something we can use and stop posting about her on the Ladyblog.”
Adrien shook his head, “I won't do that, Alya is fragile.”
“Exactly!” Chloé exclaimed “We gotta crack Alya. We crack Alya, and then we crack the lock on Lila’s whole dirty history!”
”Say crack again,” Nathaniel asked.
”Crack.”
Marinette shushes them, “Here she comes.”
The Primaries scurry off as Lila, Alya walk by.
”Well, maybe you could get more viewers if you post about our relationship,” Lila said as she clung to Adrien’s arm. He almost wanted to bite his arm off. “After all, who doesn’t love a good celebrity romance?”
”Oh, my gosh! Yes!” Alya was beaming! “You two make the most adorable couple! People will love it!”
Adrien pulls his arm away before Alya can pull out her phone to take a picture. “I’m going to class.” And he sped-walked away, much to Alya’s confusion and Lila’s anger.
Lila manages to catch up with Adrien, “Adrien! Why are you avoiding me?” She lets out a gasp. “Is it because of those three?” She doesn’t notice his eye roll and continues, “Well, you really shouldn’t be hanging out with them, especially Nathaniel. Look, I just didn’t want to seem rude earlier, but here’s why I couldn’t invite him to my party. It’s because he’s gay,” she whispered that last part like it was a curse word. “And I can’t have a gay guy at a pool party with a bunch of guys in their swim trunks. I mean, right? Then Marinette and Chloé got all mad at me for no reason at all, and no one wanted to be friends with those bullies anymore, it made sense. Then Nathaniel’s mom called my mom and was, like, yelling at her. It was so messed up. And then in the fall when we started collége, he came back with his bangs all slanted, he barely talked, and now he’s all weird and creepy, and secretly draws people when they’re not looking. And between you and me, I think he’s doing crack.”
Once the bell rings, she places a hand on Adrien’s shoulder and talks down to him as if her were a child, “I hope you can understand that.” Then she flounces off to class.
After school, Adrien tells The Primaries what Lila said and asks why she called Marinette and Chloé bullies.
“At her party, everyone went.
All my friends except me,” Nathaniel sadly reminisced.
”So we stood up for him,” Chloé drearily sang.
Nathaniel wiped a tear, “And one morning, someone scratched ‘Queerstronaut’
Onto my locker with a key”
“Oh my God!” Adrien angrily shouted.
“That might be the worst thing that I’ve ever heard!
And I’ve seen the city overrun by birds.”
Lila needs to be toppled!
Sorry, Alya, I swear that I'm parting now!
One candy cane, please!”
“A revenge party!
A party that ends with lions in a Roman arena!”
“She fibs everything
Has lies for everything
A liar, a liar, a liar!”
Jean burst into the Akuma Class one day dressed as a Santa and carrying a small sack. And this just happened to be the day that Lila was out of school so she could ‘attend a diplomatic mission with her mother.’
“Ho, ho, ho, candy cane gram for Ivan Bruel!” He tosses a candy cane gram to Ivan, who catches it.”
“She fibs everything!”
Jean hands the next one to Adrien, “And one for Adrien Agreste!”
“Lies for everything!”
“Four for Juleka, you go Juleka!” He cheered while handing the goth girl her candy canes.
”Juleka, Juleka, Juleka!”
“And none for Alya Césaire, bye!” He quickly leaves, and Alya wonders why she hasn’t gotten a candy cane gram since Lila always sends her one.
“Who sent those?” She asks to the ones who received their candy canes.”
Ivan reads the card, “Hey, it's from-“
A liar! A liar! A liar!
“‘Thanks for being a such a great best friend,’” Juleka read.
Alya resisted the urge to cry or scream. Did she do something wrong? Was it a mistake? Lila always sends her a candy cane gram.
“That’s so sweet,” she smiled to mask how hurt she was.
As Adrien was walking to the cafeteria, Alya pulled him to the side and asked, “So, did Lila say anything about me? Like, anything... Negative?”
Adrien slowly shook his head, “No, I-I don’t think so.”
“Okay,” she nodded, her voice sounding a little panicky. “Okay. Well, I mean there has to be something she’s mad at me for, right? You two are practically dating!” Adrien resisted the urge to gag. “She must’ve told you all of her secrets! For example, she bought Aurore those high heel shoes just so she could laugh, 'cause she knew she wouldn't be able to walk in them.
And she told everyone that Marinette dyed her hair, because, who even has blue hair?
Oh, and here’s something you should know about your dear girlfriend!” She sounded a little mad now, “She told me she cheats on you! Every Thursday she says she has tutoring, but really, she's hooking up with Kim in the mascot Costume!”
“She makes him wear the costume?” Adrien asked, repulsed.
“No! They're both in the costume!...” A tear streams down her face. “And I never told anybody because she’s my best friend!” She runs off in tears.
”It's a revenge party!
A party that ends with somebody's head on the spike!
A revenge party!
With your new best friends
It's like a party and revenge it's what it's like!
A party where everything is what it's like!
A party where everything is what it's like!
A party where revenge is what is like!”