Chapter 5
Carebear: guys is neil ok
Proudgayuncle: asdfghjkl
Njosten: I’m fine.
Richaunt: neil…
Cheifboyd: what did we say
Knifelesbain: Neil honey you need to not play.
Njosten: I am doing better.
Thing 2: I know we hate other, but as someone who is majoring in pre-med piece of advice, better and healed are most definitely not the same thing.
Cheifboyd: i agree with aaron on this one
Njosten: I will be able to play in a few days.
Richaunt: nope
Captain: no you will not
Queenofexy: You are no help hurt.
Cheifboyd: your side looks like it was run over with a truck
Frenchboy: As someone who was forced to spend a lot of time playing hurt, don’t do it. If you can heal, take the chance.
Thing1: You even put a foot on the court and I will stab you so many times even you won’t be able to play ever again in your junkie life
Proudgayuncle: so sweet
Thing1: Your next on my stabbing list
Proudgayuncle: im honard
Carebear: i worry about you peoples sanity
Richaunt: you do realize you are you are dating a torchered moody french kid
Carebear: and i am very proud of that
Knifelesbain: The reason we can be on this chat is because we are not normal
Proudgayuncle: hey!
Proudgayuncle: i think i am doing pretty well
Thing 2: As your cousin it is my job to tell you that you are wrong.
Proudgayuncle: rude
Frenchboy: Can you explain to me why so many of the foxes are so short.
Njosten: Take your tall ass back to France and leave us alone.
Queenofexy: THANK YOU
Queenofexy: I makes the game so much harder
Thing1: Who is the best goalie is class 1?
Queenofexy: You would be better if you cared
Thing1: Probably
Thing 2: Being short doesn’t mean we can’t do a lot of damage.
Knifelesbain: Remember this.
Richaunt: Riko was shorter than both of you and beat your ass
Carebear: damn
Captain: anger is condensed in short people
Cheifboyd: I learned a long time ago not to mess with them
Thing1: I didn’t know that you could actually learn
Cheifboyd: is it just me or is andrew being even more of an asshole than normal
Njosten: He hasn’t had any ice cream yet.
Captain: he really does eat like a child
Carebear: i am amazed that kevin lets them eat like that
Thing 2: Kevin tried but he ended up being one the receiving end of Andrews knives.
Carebear: ah
Queenofexy: YOU NEED TO
Queenofexy: if you want to be in the pros then you need to eat better
Thing1: 🔪
Thing1: I will remind you that I do not care
Frenchboy: He is right.
Queenofexy: Thank you.
Njosten: Take you and your weird french hats and leave.
Frenchboy: They are called berets
Richaunt: we do not care
Captain: i was thinking about something
Captain: you know how waymack secretly loves all of us
Knifelesbain: Yah.
Captain: well i think without broken college kids who lie to his face everyday and make his life a living hell he would be sad
Thing1: He might be sober
Richaunt: no one who is related to kevin can be sober
Queenofexy: Fuck off.
Njosten: Let's be honest Kevin, when was the last time you went a week without being drunk?
Cheifboyd: never
Proudgayuncle: your an alcoholic
Queenofexy: I'm really not.
Frenchboy: You really are.
Thing 2: As someone who was an addict for a long time I can tell you that you are most definitely one.
Queenofexy: Yah and what do you want me to do about it.
Captain: I am honestly surprised that Coach or Andrew hasn’t forced you to get help.
Thing1: Not my problem.
Queenofexy: Thea has promised that after college I have to get help.
Knifelesbain: Good.
Knifelesbain: Kevin you don’t want to end up a drunk.
Queenofexy: I know
Cheifboyd: good for you dude
Richaunt: Nickyyyyyyyyy
Proudgayuncle: yesssssssss
Richaunt: you know i love you
Richaunt: with your amazing fashion sense and over all how nice you are
Proudgayuncle: what do you want
Richaunt: i need stories and pics from the twins high school days
Captain: yessssssssss
Knifelesbain: awwwwww
Knifelesbain: This is going to be so cute.
Thing 2: If you do we will kill you.
Thing1: I have the knives
Thing 2: I already have plans on how to get rid of a body
Cheifboyd: WHOS??????
Thing 2: Neil.
Thing 1: Neil
Proudgayuncle: neil
Queenofexy: Neil
Njosten: me
Carebear: i take it you guys have heard these plans
Proudgayuncle: more than once
Cheifboyd: DO NOT TOUCH MY SON
Captain: WE WILL KILL YOU
Captain: also neil i am now your mom
Njosten: Sounds good.
Knifelesbain: Doesn’t that Andrew is your son in-law?
Thing 2: Please tell me you aren’t married
Thing 1: were not
Frenchboy: Wouldn’t that not work?
Frenchboy: Because if Andrew was your other child then Aaron would be too and you can’t kill family.
Richaunt: why not?
Thing 1: ^
Carebear: would you people actually murdered your family
Proudgayuncle: i really don’t think you want to go down that road
Queenofexy: We kind of ignore peoples past murders on this team.
Captain: we live by turning a bilnd eye
Carebear: is that good
Cheifboyd: it's worked so far
Captain: can we go back to younger twin stories
Njosten: I really want these.
Thing 2: Fuck you
Njosten: No thanks I am already fucking your brother
Richaunt: HAHAHA
Richaunt: you are amazing neil
Njosten: Thank you.
Queenofexy: This is why the press loves him and dad wants to kill him
Knifelesbain: Neil I am slightly worried about having you as captain. You are going to have to talk to the press after every game.
Cheifboyd: i will be amazed if waymack doesn’t drink himself to death
Proudgayuncle: I have been digging around and I finally found the photo i was looking for
Captain: YESSSSSS
Knifelesbain: What is it of
Proudgayuncle: Imagine.jpg
Proudgayuncle: This was the first day they moved in with me. I had just gotten back from germany and these two were sitting on the steps and I decided to take this photo. I am pretty sure they do not know it exists.
Captain: OMG
Cheifboyd: you guys
Richaunt: YOUR SO YOUNG
Knifelesbain: You guys are super cute.
Richaunt: I need to talk about your clothes for a second. First I need to talk about the shirts, are those band shirts?!?!?!?!?! I honestly don’t know who is who. No one has bands on their arms which is weird. My real problem is since when the twins were ripped jeans???????
Richaunt: HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS
Richaunt: you both look so hot
Proudgayuncle: aw yes the ripped jeans
Proudgayuncle: i remember these
Proudgayuncle: I am pretty sure they dressed the same to confuse me
Thing 2: Yep
Queenofexy: Wtf is your hair.
Proudgayuncle: hahahahahaha
Proudgayuncle: i made them both get hair cuts
Queenofexy: Thank god.
Queenofexy: I dont get why they both have long hair in the front and short in the back.
Njosten: Thank you Nicky.
Njosten: I am very happy to have this.
Proudgayuncle: awwwwww
Proudgayuncle: your welcome neil
Thing 2: we hate you all
Carebear: did he just say we??????
Captain: BONDING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Cheifboyd: WHAT?????
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Private chat with Proudgayuncle, Thing 2, and Thing 1
Thing 2: I’m sorry.
Thing 1: You deserved better
Proudgayuncle: what are you guys talking about
Thing 2: You did everything to give us this amazing life and we were awful to you.
Thing 1: Without you I would have killed myself
Thing 2: I would have ODed
Proudgayuncle: guys…
Proudgayuncle: i didn’t do because any bullshit like deserve
Proudgayuncle: i did it because i love you guys
Proudgayuncle: i didn’t want you guys to have to live with my parents. at the time I thought that you were both straight, but I still wouldn’t have wished you guys into that much religion.
Thing 2: Before you there had never been anyone who out of nowhere decided that I was worth it and they were going to help me. Andrew I know you saved me from mom, but you were also my twin.
Thing 1: You had a happy life, the one you deserve. You shouldn’t have come back, but you did anyway. We will always remember that.
Thing 2: If you even need anything we are here for you.
Proudgayuncle: you guys are going to make me cry
Proudgayuncle: i love you guys and I just want you happy
Proudgayuncle: i just wish there was more i could have done
Thing 1: There it’s
Thing 2: You did everything.
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Njosten: The twins don’t hate each other.
Njosten: They just don’t like each other most of the time.
Richaunt: if by most you mean all then i agree
Knifelesbain: I don't think there has been any stabbing or treating in a couple months.
Knifelesbain: I take this as progress.
Captain: i love how low the standards are
Cheifboyd: as long as they don’t actually kill each other I am fine
Cearbear: back to the turning a blind eye
Richaunt: yep