Mad Apothecarist

Luna slept over at my house the last two days of the summer holidays because her dad went to Africa for a research filled trip. I can appreciate that – he promised me that he shall send me his raw documents so I have a better idea what his daughter studies and always talks about. I read their magazine, The Quibbler, but I need harsh facts.

We managed to visit the zoo with all of my siblings and mum in the tow – Luna never been to one, so I became her information machine that spits out facts after a minute of (unwilling) excited shaking. My arm felt numb after half an hour and I debated about how much would I miss it. At least I learned an important lection: don’t get Loona excited. The end. (I fucked up just an hour later when I forgot to take her a different route than through a gift shop on the way out – that’s how she ended up with a preemptive birthday gift.)

1^st of September landed on a Tuesday this year so all my siblings were already in school when mum and dad took us to the train station – they wanted to make me wear the mask and beanie, but Luna told them that no wizards go through the magical barrier – well, most of them don’t, but I kept silent. Better than itchy forehead in the slight heat of English summer.

“If anything happens, write us or go bully Dumbledore into getting you home, ok Henry?”

“Sure, sure.” Sure not.

“Try to stay out of trouble, sweetheart,” mother added and I stilled in her warm hug. It has the potential of comfort, but unwanted physical contact will never cease to disgust me.

“Get off me you bitch!” They took off after only a little fussing, as dad was already late to work. “See you too soon!”

“Have a nice school year, children!”

I waited only a short while before quickly pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with a spark of controlled magic. I slept an hour longer than I expected so there was no time to fill my lungs with the damaging smoke in the early morning. “I wonder how they still haven’t found out,” Luna giggled and hugged her giant sea lion plushie closer to her chest. It looked like a morbidly obese animal, with big black eyes that in the night stared deep into my soul when I sat on the windowsill and read a book with my addiction between my lips. The only redeeming quality was how soft the plushie was – the perfect pillow if you ask me.

“I either smoke when they are sleeping or it blends in with smoke that already emanates from my room,” I shrugged and tried to be as quick as I could – we told Hermione over the phone that we would wait for her and I have no doubt her parents would snitch on me without a second thought. And good thing I hurried, because if Luna hasn’t hissed at me ‘they are already here’, they would catch me red-handed.

“Henry! Luna! It’s so good to see you,” the bushy-haired girl attacked us but caught only Luna in her bone-crushing hug. “How was your summer?”

“Great, daddy helped me understand mum’s books about runes and wardings, co I can keep up with you!”

“Fucking boooooooooooooooring!” I groaned and almost fell when she caught me off-guard and tackled me. “Fucking hell, are you trying to kill me?!”

“Missed you too, asshole,” she muttered lowly enough so her parents couldn’t hear how well I ruined their proper little girl. “Goodbye, mum, dad! See you during the holidays!” The Grangers hugged and said their good-bye’s like, four times, before going away.

“Did they bully you because of the accident too?”

“No, I… haven’t told them,” she turned red.

“Why?”

“They almost pulled me out of the school when I told them about the petrifications during Christmas Holiday – they would never let me go back,” she frowned but went with her trunk through the magical barrier. There weren’t many people on the platform which I appreciated greatly.

“Dad almost threw a fit and sent me to Durmstrang, but I didn’t let him.” I helped Luna with her trunk and then Hermione's, mine was shrunk and safely stashed in one of my many pockets. We went to a compartment we usually occupied but there was a man with scars making his face remarkable – the rest of him paled in comparison.

“Should we go elsewhere?”

“Twins need to find us, don’t they?” Luna fell on her ass next to the sleeping men and pressed her plushie between them.

“I bet there are better ways than annoying a teacher,” Hermione crossed her arms but I was already levitating her trunk up.

“We can move later,” I tried to calm her down and took the seat next to the window, across the strange man. Professor R. J. Lupin was written on the trunk above his head so I guessed that was him – there was only a small chance that he stole the suitcase and forgot to change the engraving.

“Does it still hurt?” Hermione sat next to me. “The scar.”

“I know what you mean, I’m not fucking idiot. And it doesn’t – if I’m not rubbing it like I’m trying to make it produce something.” I finished it with mimicking jerking off which made her put elbow between my ribs. “Now it hurts,” I faked a pained cry and then honestly huffed when she hit me, this time in the shoulder with her fist.

“You’re such a jerk!”

“Thanks, cunt.”

“So, what did you do during the summer besides studying?”

“I was dragged through a zoo by a small blond demon.”

“And I dragged a walking and talking book trough a zoo! How about you, Hermione?” Hermione giggled at our perfectly synchronized answers.

“We went to France again, for two weeks, but then we travelled on the western coast of Europe – through Luxemburg, Belgium, Netherland and we finished in Germany. We were on a tour in a chocolate factory – you would go mad there, Henry! It smelled so good I got dizzy!”

“Oh, you are sweet Hermione, but I’m already batshit crazy.”

“Hahaha,” she rolled her eyes. “I visited a magical alley in the Netherlands – thankfully they had books in English because I was going crazy with curiosity about their type of magical practices! Did you know everyone has a personalized wand, unlike we who pick wands?” We listened to her talking before the Griffindor was shut up by more lions who tried to walk into the compartment at the same time. They couldn’t fit so they tried to bicker and play-fought who would have the privilege of getting to pick a seat – Hermione hissed at them to stop acting like children and after salutes, they sat on opposite sides.

“Hello, friends! How are we doing? Who is our mysterious new friend?”

“Professor Lupin, probably a new DADA teacher for this year.”

“And we are sharing with him because…?”

“We wanted to wait for you and then get another one - but someone took their time.”

“Mum was herding us quite soon,”

“-But we got delayed. Sorry. And yes, everything is full now.”

“Sorry.”

“He managed to sleep through enough time of our not-so-silent conversation, so I doubt he will stop his nap because of two gingers,” I stretched and took a more comfortable position. “How was Egypt?”

The conversation went from topic to topic like usually and we managed to get to the topic of OWLs. I forgot twins are in the usual age range to take them, to be honest. “They are fucking stupid, to be honest. I almost fell asleep while filling out the forms – the practicals are slightly harder in Charms, DADA and Transfiguration, but nothing you won’t be able to do.”

“Take a step backwards, raven – you took the OWLs during the summer?”

“Yes, together with NEWTs in four subjects.”

“Why haven’t you written about it to us?”

“It’s not important – and it was in the Daily Prophet.“

“We were out of the country, asshole!”

“Me too – you could have said something sooner. Haven’t you plan it for the summer before the fourth year?”

“Yeah, but I had longer holidays than expected and I was so bored – mum watched me like a hawk any time I tried to sneak out of the house.”

“Because of wizards?”

“Probably – they were just disgustingly protective- why are we slowing down? We have quite a few minutes before us…” I furrowed my brows and pushed my face to the window to see better through the rain and darkness outside the train. The wind was getting louder the slower we moved until we stopped. Fred and George looked into the corridors and talked with someone from the nearest compartment – they too didn’t have an idea why we stopped. Many students tried to get the unexisting information but no one knew anything.

Like usually.

I was preparing to shake the professor into action (he should know something, right?) when all lights went out and the train was plunged into total darkness.

“What the fuck?” I groned and lit up a Lumos on the end of my quickly pulled out wand.

“Do you think we’ve broken down?” George asked, squinting into the light.

“No fucking idea.” The area was getting colder.

“We should go ask the driver what’s going on-“ Hermione tried to get up but the space was filled with four pairs of long legs so she fell on Luna, who shrieked in shock, which woke up the professor across me.

“Quiet!” hoarse voice shut their squealing of embarrassment. “Stay here, I will–“ Before he could get to the door, they opened on their own, slowly. A figure in cloak hid its greyish, slimy-looking hand after the door was fully opened. I felt its eyes on me and even my mind telling me that this was a dementor couldn’t stop me from hearing a loud scream and seeing flashes of green. My body tried to faint but my magic roared like a fire hungry for a new fuel so it can burn brighter and reach higher.

Thankfully, before it managed to damage the train, the professor pulled out his wand and yelled “Patronus!” A bright light emanated from his wand and pushed the creature out of our compartment – and then he shut the door closed after himself, probably making sure no student would lose a soul. Most Ravens already lost what one might call A SOUL, I should have told him that.

I couldn’t help but giggle at that thought.

Only minutes later the man came back with a small smile on his scarred face. “Everything should be good now, we are starting to move.” He took down his suitcase after weaving through the maze of limbs and pulled out a giant slab of chocolate. “Here, it’s good for nerves.”

“What was that-“ Hermione tried to decline and get answers, but he pushed the mound of sweet delicious goodness into her hands.

“It will help, trust me.”

“I will eat it if you don’t want to,” I leaned on her, hands already vacant. “And they were dementors, soul-sucking wardens of Azkaban.”

“Why were they here?!” she squeaked and got a handful of chocolate straight into her mouth – courtesy of Luna.

“They were looking for Sirius Black,” Lupin answered. “He escaped Azkaban a few weeks back.”

“Why are they looking for him here?” Fred raised an eyebrow at the older male, his usually pale face ghostly under the freckles.

“Wouldn’t I like to know…” Lupin muttered. Harry crawled out from under the seats and jumped on Hermione’s lap which calmed her down noticeably.

“So, are you a new DADA teacher?” I asked him.

“Yes. Lupin, Remus Lupin,” he smiled and nodded at us all. “And you are?”

“Luna Lovegood.”

“Goerge Weasley, the handsome-er brother.”

“Fred Weasley, the smarter brother who knows that handsomer is not a word.”

“Hermione Granger, nice to meet you, professor.”

“Bond, James Bond.”

“And this is Henry – don’t confuse it with Harry, that’s my cat here.”

***

Dad yelled at the headmaster so much the old man gave us our own little dorm room – just for the two of us. Luna told me that she knew that her letter would have this outcome but I refuse to believe her. How could she manipulate the two old farts into doing as she wanted? Compulsion might work on dad, but the headmaster is too strong for that – and I’m not even sure if she can make compulsion spells! Twins and Hermione sent us letters during the holidays, filled with crying emojis and hundreds of words about how unfair this is – I have a feeling my bed won’t be just mine.

I fell into the first truly safe bed I slept in since the first day in this fucking school and groaned in comfort. So soft… I slept last night but I felt more tired than in a long time – probably because of those dementors that will now patrol around the school the whole year. I still have no fucking idea why a mass murderer would go hide in a school – there are many victims (let’s try to pretend I never thought about that) but he can’t have much magic after a long time behind bars, under magic-suppressing wards.

Maybe he uses potions? If yes, he must know that Severus has stores filled with decent materials for students and stealing in school is always easier than stealing in a store. I wonder if wizards have bombs…

I heard a cry from afar – I got out of the bed and walk out, quickly. It sounded female, so Luna must have done something stupid and hurt herself. I went through our shared living room that was decorated with blue and bronze, similarly to Ravenclaw common room. The fire was happily crackling in the fireplace and I couldn’t help myself and look into its crimson depths. I really, really like fire.

Then I shook my head and went to Luna’s room that was on the opposite side of the circular room from mine. I didn’t bother with knocking and walked into there with all the confidence of an owner of the room - but there was no pale blond in front of me. No bed with a cuddly sea lion plushie sat atop of it.

I was in a room with pale blue walls and dark-wood furniture. Toys of many shapes and sizes littered the floor but one thing was prominent – a broken cradle. I walked nearer to it, distant memory itching but not willing to show me what it holds, which made me worried. “Luna? Where are you?” I stood up, not remembering getting a hold of a long stick that was cold in my hand – and surprisingly big. I could wrap my fingers around it – I could barely stretch them around half of its girth (oh, sex jokes…). I looked at it for a concerningly long time, before turning around.

“Not Harry, not Harry!” A female voice cried again. What? Why not Harry? What is that fucking cat doing here?

“Move, mudblood!”

“Not Harry, no, please, kill me but not my baby!”

“I said move!”

“No!”

“Last time-“

“Don’t kill my-“

“Avada Kedavra!” A green light blinded me, making me back up, back up, before I hit something hard and cold – I turned around and looked into a huge mouth filled with razor-sharp teeth-