Christmas
After almost half a day of travel Hermione and I were finally only a few minutes away from the Kings Cross station. Twins and their siblings were left behind because their parents rather left to Romania to look at cool dragons – or at least that's what I gathered from their letter.
I quite enjoyed the ride, we started with playing few rounds of chess (not to brag but I won most of our matches) and then continued with a silent reading of our library books – I took interest in runes after stealing George's and Fred's textbook. But now I read much more complicated texts than them – as I thought, runes are really easy for me to learn as I don't need to learn pronunciation.
Oh, how I hated French in my muggle-school years… I learned Latin because it's useful (especially for someone who espiers to be a doctor), but French with its sadistic tongue breaking pronunciation almost truly broke me. Mother is good with languages and always was a bitch about me hating her most favourite one. To be honest, only Elizabeth is good with languages – the rest of my siblings and me despise them. Even my stupid older siblings are better in the sciency side of learning. Fridrich is decent in math and physics, Marie in chemistry and biology. Ludvik is smarter (not my level but better than the rest of our blond siblings), but still – he excels in science.
„Are you excited?“
„Why?“ I asked, surprised she tore her hungry eyes from her history book. How can I speak with someone this weird?
„I missed my parents, but you also have your siblings! Siblings are like friends, aren't they?“
„You make it really obvious you are an only child, you happy soul.“
„Come on, you get the best deliveries!“ That is true, out of us four I get the best post – I usually ask for some books from my previous studies and lend them to twins – and sometimes they go out of Hogwarts to their father who is interested in muggle technology – which I only support, older people usually stop learning and that is even worse than being stupid. He sent me a letter with an invitation to their home, the Burrow, so we can geek out (not his words) together – he has a flying car. FUCKING. FLYING. CAR. It made ME happy, TWINS happy and their father was over the moon happy. And it made Ronald furious so that is a plus too. My mother also sends me sweets because she knows I sometimes forget to sleep and need an energy boost in the middle of the day.
Dad on the other hand sent me personal letters about the litigation about the merchandise and books written with my name or fake face on them. It angered him when we found the books and after we looked into less popular stores in the Diagon Alley we saw the worst advertisements – ‚Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived uses our shampoo and he said that: This is the only shampoo that makes my hair soft and good-smelling!‘ , ‚Our boots are boy-who-lived approved for their adventure prone design!‘ and more. McGonagall helped us by sending information about her friends that work in the magical law agency – Mrs and Mr Tonks. They helped dad with everything and in my last letter from him, I read about how well the investigation is going.
„I do, but the psychical distress still doesn't make it worth it. They are annoying, stupid and sadistic.“
„Well, of course – they are your blood!“ She laughed and I threw a book at her. She screamed but continued to laugh, trying to kick my shins.
„I'm not stupid!“
„Just annoying sadist,“ she snickered and managed to kick my jean-clad knee.
„I hate you.“
„Love you too. What will you do during holidays?“ she asked, her smile almost blinding. Her teeth are in perfect condition, as one would expect from a child of two dentists.
„Watch some TV, brew, maybe try to catch my parents putting presents under the tree… you know, the usual. How about you?“
„We are going to France, mainly to ski. What did you buy twins for Christmas? I ordered some less common potion ingredients for Fred and a book about animagus transformation for George.“
„I bought them bigger school robes,“ I answered.
„What? Why?“
„They are already as tall as their older brothers were in their fifth year – so they will probably outgrow them. I charmed them to adapt to the wearer's body and to be almost indestructible. It will fade out in five years and then the robes will fall apart – however, when that time arrives, they will be out of school.“
„That's really sweet of you Henry.“
„Say that once more and I will shit in your present.“ She went green, then red and ended on pale.
„I take it back you disgusting being.“ It made me smile so widely my lips almost cracked.
Then the train stopped. We started to packed our things and waited for the crowds to leave the train before we came out and through the barrier. I quickly noticed my family – unusually big group even on the train station. Few steps from them were two adults, the man had a big mane of brown curls that made me sure he was Hermione's dad. They quickly noticed us and waved in unison.
„Mum, dad!“ Hermione called out and left her trunk behind with me to run into a hug. Dad got a weird spark in his eyes and before my brain connected the dots my legs were dragging me away from his attempted big hug. I hid behind the Granger family.
„Stop it, you give them ideas,“ I hissed at her smiling faces and evaded Marie who also tried to assault me.
„Dad, mum, this is Henry Bundy. Henry, these are Dan and Jean Granger.“
„Nice to meet you, Henry,“ the woman smiled at me.
„Sure- PUT ME DOWN YOU FUCKING OVERGROWN CHILD!“ I screamed at my surprisingly sneaky father who picked me up by the waist and hugged me.
„Say you missed us.“
„Missed you, asshole.“
„I said us.“
„Dad told me not to lie, bitch.“ Then he tried to break my ribs, so I saved my life with: „Missed you all,“ with my last breath.
„You must be Mr and Mrs Granger – my son wrote to me about your daughter.“
„Oh, really?“ smiled Dan widely. „Hermione also wrote about him.“ I exchanged a look with her – neither of us is stupid so we know what they suggesting. We rolled our eyes in unison which made me not notice the other hugging beasts.
„Henry! You're back!“ Ludvik hugged me around my waist, Marie hung herself on back and mum pulled me to herself from the side. I tried to play dead.
„We missed our random curse word generator,“ she mumbled into my ear with damp breath. It made me get goosebumps so I stepped on her foot.
„My family is disgusting!“ I bemoaned when she kissed my head – thankfully after that, I was released so I could try to rub the feeling of being hugged by hexapus (six-legged octopus) off. „I'm sorry for their actions – but you are no better,“ I added because Grangers were one arm hugging the poor girl from each side.
„You are truly hilarious, Henry,“ she rolled her eyes. Weird, she started to call me an asshole, when I do antisocial things, like a month ago. Oh, parents... I never realise that one.
„Nice holiday, Grangers.“
„You too, Henry. Try to be in the holiday spirit.“
„His Christmas spirit is green and hates the holiday,“ the oldest Bundy kid giggled.
„I'm not Grinch – my heart would never grow.“
„Like you have one.“
„Oh, and how would I live without it, idiot?“
„I meant the metaphorical one-“
„You know big words? What a good boy, Fridrich!“
„I will throttle you in your sleep, brat.“
„Kids, leave the death threats for later – people are looking at us weird.“
„No, they just saw his stupid face,“ I replied cheekily and almost got kicked in my crotch.
Oh, family... how I hate their stupid fucking faces...
***
We were watching Christmas movies into the night like always – I hogged the furthest chair and did my homework with one eye on the TV screen. I couldn't use my usual means of writing so I was scratching on the fucking parchment with vengeance. I didn't really care about making it legible (and my charms essay was so bad I couldn't even read it myself).
I finished the last one on the second day of my holiday, at 2:34 A.M. Fucking History.
Of course, the first day that I really paid attention to what's happening they put on Grinch. I remember I loved it as a child – all kid movies are so bright and cheerful (I never felt like I could live in those worlds) but Grinch was grumpy, nasty (and kind of similar to me, in a way – he was even resourceful in his own way). So yes, I was the only child that hated the good ending, only one hoping he would succeed and ruin Christmas for Whos. And then mother played it every Christmas and I grew bored of it. Now it leaves a sour taste in my mouth because of the knowledge that heart growth can bring only one result – death. By a heart-attack. A great future for a child's favourite character, isn't it? (Still, I would love to live on a mountain, with people nowhere near so I would have a solitary space for my experimenting habits.)
„Harry, you need to tell us more about your school year – your letters are quite dry,“ dad sat next to me at the diner table. In front of us was a big Christmas diner – stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, rich gravy, steaming vegetables... my mouth was watering the whole day because I could smell it even through potion fumes. But I enjoyed the slightly toxic fumes because it meant I was safe from socialization. None of them wanted to be near the potential boom.
„I'm not an author, so no surprises there.“
„Still, tell us about the Cerberus – you wrote about him last in November and I was interested in how you advanced.“
„After we befriended him like I last wrote to you, we went down the trap door. There was a magnificent Devil's Snare - it's a special partially sentient plant that can kill you! But light hurts it so simple Lumos.“
„A sentient plant?“ Elizabeth choked out, coughing because her food went into a wrong windpipe. Fridrich helped her with back blows to clear her airway.
„Yeah, it can strangle a fully grown human. It grows in dark humid places.“
„I will never visit our basement – I know you, you will try to plant it there.“
„Mum already forbade me from doing that.“
„You never listen to rules,“ Fridrich accused me.
„True, but we made a pact – no Devil's Snare and I can plant some potion ingredients in the back.“
„That's true,“ she smiled. „What was there next?“ They don't mind our adventure with Cerberus – and I never told them about the troll because then they wouldn't be as chill. Also, I kept the fact that the dog wasn't really friendly at the beginning and almost bit George's hand clean off close to my chest. There are many things I did that would give my parents a heart attack...
„There is a room filled with keys and one wooden door on the end of the oblong premise. It was protected enough that we couldn't break it or open it with spells so we needed to catch one of the keys. Fred caught it after, like, half an hour. Behind the doors, there was a giant chess game that I won't pretty easily with my usual strategy-“
„The ‚Only the king needs to live‘ strategy?“
„Exactly. It wasn't expecting I would do that. So after that, there was a room with a magical beast that we stunned.“ It was another troll but my paranoia (thankfully) made me access the forbidden part of the library (after almost dying) and we (me, twins and Hermione) learned the strongest stunner known to light wizards. It wouldn't work on something stronger and we tried to learn it for three weeks but it paid off. „Then there was a room with a riddle and a bunch of potions, which was laughably easy, especially when I sniffed them to make sure. So we went through a door of fire and there is the fuck up – there was only a room with nothing in it!“ I couldn't help myself and impaled my turkey with a little too much strength.
„That's weird – why so many challenges when there is nothing on the end?“ Mother asked with a furrowed brow.
„I have no fucking idea – it made me crazy with fury and twins were not better.“
„Hermione wasn't there?“ Dad asked with a wide smile.
„No, she told us it's stupid.“
„Your girlfriend is a smart girl.“
„She's not my girlfriend, dickhead. She might be a girl and my friend, but not a girlfriend.“
„Of course she's not – even someone with rabbit teeth is above his level,“ Fridrich sneered and Marie added: „I still can't believe that Henrietta got friends.“
„First – you know you will end as rabbit before the end of the next year, yes brother dearest? And why wouldn't I have friends? I'm a joy to be around,“ I said with venom laced sarcasm.
„I think you know very well why – after all they are your first friends beside people twice your age.“
„Not my problem they are the first smart people around my age I ever met,“ I hissed and angrily ate another morsel of food. „It's better than having a group of friends that cannot count to ten.“
„Sais a boy who couldn't even guess if someone is afraid or surprised.“ Now she's getting nasty. Mother tried to stop Marie from fighting with me but she's as much of an argumentative person as I am.
„It's difficult to read people!“
„Maybe for a psychopath-“
„Antisocial personality disorder, keep track of the current terminology if you want to accuse me of things, cunt.“
„That's sociopath, you crazy rabbit murderer-“
„It wasss already dead, I only wanted to sssee-“
„Children! Not over a diner!“ Dad tried to calm us down but plates were already shaking and her knuckles were white – there was only a little percent of the possibility that we would calm down.
„I kind of missed your disgusting mug but now I wish the train derailed and you died in it!“
„Marie! Go to your room young lady!“ Mom yelled, obviously shocked. It's not too often that we start yelling like that but when we do she's usually the nastier one with her words.
„Go and get yourself killed by your stupid potion,“ she hissed at me before she left. The turkey exploded and I could only hiss at her like an angry snake. Oh, how do I adore my loving siblings and family dinners – and they wonder why I rather starve myself or take the food to my room.
I calmed myself through cursing for too long of a time – I fell behind in my managing rituals in school where I had fewer reasons to get so fired up. I haven't apologised because I couldn't really stop my magic from reacting – but I did help with the cleaning up. The mood was killed as nobody had a smile on their faces anymore.
***
I couldn't fall asleep even though I was a walking corpse with under-eye bags so purple and blue they looked like black-eyes. I was sketching a Quidditch player because my crazy sleep-deprived brain was remembering the last one I was forced to watch by Hermione and twins. I evaded the one where twins played because Hermione lacks their search engine but the second time I was held between two gingers and Hermione was threatening me to sit on my lap if I moved more than necessary. We cheered for Hufflepuff but they lost to my House which made me irritated – I slept in the slowly changing classroom that our group occupied because of how loud the Ravenclaws were.
Mostly I remembered how calm I was and it even made me sleep for almost an hour – when I woke up with a jerk, it was three in the morning. I figured out it was late enough to open the gifts that the stupid nocturnal bird brought to me yesterday, waking me up from my nap on my desk.
First I opened Hermione's gift – seeds for my planned garden. We talked a lot about it so it wasn't too surprising but my sleepy brain was unusually happy with such a simple gift. With it, she sent me french chocolate with salt in it. I tried it – it was weird but delicious. I must have made a sight to see – sitting on my damaged floor, eyes half-lidded in bliss and surrounded by four gifts – one of them opened of course. Am I even making sense?
Next, I opened a gift from Mr Weasley – he was grateful for the books I sent him and apologized he couldn't give me more but I was happy to receive my own Weasley sweater with H on the front. It was navy with light yellow contrasting wool and I pulled it over my head. It was as comfortable as the one I never gave back to Fred, only my size. Under it was a smaller box with homemade sweets that I tried but didn't like – I will give them to mum, her sweet-tooth will enjoy them.
A soft gift without a name of the giver on it was next – there was a note added to it: ‚This cloak was your fathers. He lent it to me before he died and now that you know about the magic world I thought you might enjoy it in your after-curfew walks through the halls. Have a nice Christmas.‘ Unsigned, written by hand as unskilled in calligraphy as mine. I tried it on – it was cool, a good robe for summer I guess. But then I looked at my hands – and saw nothing. I started to laugh and if anybody heard it they would send me to a mental hospital. Thankfully nobody screamed at me before I calmed down. This will be the best thing for pranking! I quickly hid it in my suitcase with a giddy smile before I opened the last gift, this one from twins.
It exploded into my face, covering me in a soft powder that made me cough a little but otherwise I was fine. No swelling, no itching – so it will be something mild. Maybe colour-changing? I couldn't see any results so I gave it time and started to look through their gift. There were three potion vials with different pranking potions they made before we knew each other and two parchments. One of them said: ‚You know how the map works. And make us proud, baby-prankster. PS: family is the best target, in our opinion.‘ I grinned widely, hid the map and used my awake time for some shenanigans.
Let's say nobody wanted to be with me in one car slash room after that... but all of them wanted me on the train as quickly as possible (I wrote a letter to twins with praise filling most of the page – I put their potions into the cookies, milk and the sweets that their father sent to me, all things I don't eat so it wasn't suspicious. They were turned into purple beings with horns on their forehead for two hours! It was glorious!) so dad took me so early to the King's Cross station that I waited almost for an hour before the train left the station and even longer before Hermione found me.
„What happened to you?“ I raised my head from the book I was currently reading and raised my eyebrow. „You coloured your hair?“
„It was part of my gift from the twins,“ I grinned at her. „Next time you will be included too if you want.“
„No, thanks. How did you like my gift?“
„Very useful and the chocolate was the best thing French made since the guillotine.“
„You're horrible,“ she rolled her eyes with a smile. I told her how I made my family hate and/or fear me at the same time which made her laugh but she tried to suppress it. „You're the worst, Bundy.“
„How did you like my gift?“ I took her mind of that.
„It's an interesting book – how did you think of that?“
„I read through it and thought you seemed like a person who would be interested in the possibility to brew their own cosmetic products.“
„Are you trying to tell me I look like a girl?“ she giggled.
„No, you look like a fucking hippie that doesn't want to support capitalism.“ She only rolled her eyes before pulling her gift from twins – a book about politics in the magical world and started to tell me all she found out. I zoomed out after approximately five minutes and fell asleep. It was the longest one in weeks, I slept most of the way to Hogwarts and even woke up covered by her school robe like it was a blanket and a hoodie, that I previously threw next to me, folded into a pillow under my head.
(My dream wasn't as nice - It was about the argument I had with Marie and the reason she mentioned it - last year her pet rabbit died from old age on Christmas Day and I was too curious to let my chance slip. I never dissected something that big and she caught me literally red-handed.)
I was happy to see Hogwarts - just those skeletal horses pulling the carriages surprised me.