Gay oranges are real
[Hope's Peak's staff made a huge mistake]
SHSL Threat: How was this party tamer than the ones in the Reserve Course and wilder at the same time
she S C R E A M: That's just Ibuki's charm!
You'll disappear under mysterious circumstances: Since when have you been going to parties?
You'll disappear under mysterious circumstances: And with those bastards no less!
SHSL Threat: Watch out, an overprotective brother on the horizon!
SHSL Threat: I went like twice with Hajime and Sato, chill
SHSL Threat: We didn't even drink that much
You'll disappear under mysterious circumstances: Excuse me bitch?
SHSL Threat: Suddenly I have realized I'm gonna die
SHSL Threat: Jk Jk, you should chill a bit brother, else you're gonna start looking like Izuru "Guard dog" Hinata over here
SHSL Yandere: Speaking of, @SHSL Housewife you're doomed, Izuru's already seen her message
SHSL Housewife: Huh?
SHSL Yandere: Don't huh me, I'm trying to warn you of your death
SHSL Housewife: Why would Izuru kill me?
SHSL Threat: Are you braindead?
Izzy Izzalea: I have given him strong painkillers, the unnecessary movement from last night has reopened some of his wounds
she S C R E A M: @SHSL Housewife I'm sorry :(
SHSL Housewife: It's fine
You'll disappear under mysterious circumstances: Back on the important topic, you three realize that not only is underage drinking illegal, it's also harmful as hell?!
Nurse “I’m sorry”: H-He's right! Underage drinking c-can c-c-cause brain damage, a-among other th-things!
SHSL Threat: Get off my back god damn, I said we didn't even drink that much! Also Mikan you always appear when someone could be hurt, get a damn personality besides being a nurse would ya?!
Nurse “I’m sorry”: I-I-I-I'm sorry!!!!
SHSL Yandere: And here we have the allusive Natsumi, she is currently expressing her defense mechanism, which scientists have called "Insulting random people when threatened"
SHSL Threat: I know where you live
SHSL Yandere: :P
PekoPekoPekoPeko: Natsumi, could I ask, what exactly did you drink?
SHSL Threat: I don't fucking remember, it was like two months ago
Who needs sleep when you have Kirby?: You should remember vaguely… I think.
SHSL Threat: Ugh, probably about two shots of vodka, three shots of whiskey, one third of a medium sized bottle of white wine and a shot of fireball, that's everything combined from the two parties I attended
You'll disappear under mysterious circumstances: That's still too much, god damn you!
SHSL Threat: :P
Izzy Izzalea: @SHSL Threat how much did my brother drink?
Being the mom friend is hard work: I would like to know about Sato too
SHSL Threat: I'm not their fucking secretary, ask them
Who needs sleep when you have Kirby?: I think it's good for them to know about something like that… probably
SHSL Threat: Fucking
SHSL Yandere: Whipped
SHSL Threat: Eat shit and die
SHSL Threat: Sato drank 3 shots of fireball, 2 shots of whiskey, one shot of Bacardi and a third of a medium sized bottle of white wine
SHSL Threat: Hajime drank the rest of that medium sized bottle of white wine, 3 shots of Vodka, one shot of Patrón and half a shot of Absinthe, cuz the bottle was small and there want a lot
SHSL Housewife: When did I do that?
SHSL Yandere: Two months ago
SHSL Housewife: I don't remember?
SHSL Yandere: Unicorns, unicorns everywhere
SHSL Housewife: Ooooh, I remember now
The three Hs, Hope, Hajime and the third one's a secret: Absinthe isn't healthy for you Hajime, neither is alcohol in general
SHSL Threat replied to SHSL Yandere: Lmaoooooo
she S C R E A M: Isn't Absinthe that one green drink that makes you see funny things??
Izzy Izzalea: Yes, but the amount that my brother has consumed is not enough to cause such effects
she S C R E A M: Izuru is more active now! A miracle!
I for one welcome our new hamster overlord: I would hate to interrupt, but I would like to inquire about something
Who needs sleep when you have Kirby?: What is it?
I for one welcome our new hamster overlord: Since it has been established that the Reserve Course dorms are unsafe for Hajime and Sato, I would like to propose a solution for this problem
I for one welcome our new hamster overlord: If Sato and Hajime, and perhaps Natsumi, if she's feeling unsafe, stayed in one of our dorms for a while, or until they have enough money to rent an apartment, then this particular trouble will be solved
I for one welcome our new hamster overlord: I don't know who would stay with who thought…
Who needs sleep when you have Kirby?: Natsumi could stay with me or Peko, if she wanted…
SHSL Threat: Suddenly I am packing my luggage
SHSL Threat: Chiaki, you'll see I'm an amazing roommate
You'll disappear under mysterious circumstances: She's lying
SHSL Threat: Shut the hell your mouth
Izzy Izzalea: My brother is staying in my room for the time being
The three Hs, Hope, Hajime and the third one's a secret: Unfortunately for Hajime he doesn't have a choice
SHSL Housewife: I don't? Really?
Izzy Izzalea: No, you don't
SHSL Housewife: Bummer
Being the mom friend is hard work: Sato can keep staying with me, she's been a great roommate so I don't mind
Squish squish Mahiru's sanity: Fucking hell!
Being the mom friend is hard work: You can come have a sleepover with us Hiyoko, it would be good for you to get to know each other more
she S C R E A M: A sleepover!!! Can Ibuki come?!??
Being the mom friend is hard work: Sure, we can make it a girl's night
Who needs sleep when you have Kirby?: I'll bring my console, we can play something together
SHSL Threat: Sure, let's see if you can keep me entertained
she S C R E A M: Ibuki will make a group chat!! One second!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHSL Yandere: That's too much…
///////////////////////
[Unnamed Chat Nagito Komaeda (Explosion!) → Hajime Hinata (Neon Genesis Evangelion)]
Explosion!: Such good luck for you, Hajime! Izuru was dragged off by the girls so they could braid his hair!
Neon Genesis Evangelion: I pity whoever has to brush his hair
Explosion!: He did see me in the hall and asked me to keep you company
Neon Genesis Evangelion: I can see his character development already
Explosion!: Makes me wonder what both of you were like when you were younger
Neon Genesis Evangelion: I'll tell you when you come, it's getting kind of difficult to type
Explosion!: You seem to like keeping me in suspense, Hajime
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Sure…
////////////////////////
[Depresso Espresso and a lot of Vodka]
[Happy Sugar Life has changed Orange Juice and Vodka's nickname to Gay oranges are real]
[Happy Sugar Life has changed the chat name to We do be dating Ultimates tho]
Happy Sugar Life: The time has come
SHSL Little Bitch: I thought it would take longer, and I certainly didn't expect it to happen all in the same night
Gay oranges are real: I still don't understand what exactly happened
SHSL Little Bitch: What kind of drugs is Izuru giving you?
Gay oranges are real: No clue
Happy Sugar Life: So basically while Sonia was trying to brush Izuru's hair we decided to play spin the bottle, things happened, Natsumi kissed Chiaki, me and Mahiru kissed as well and when we were spinning the bottle, it landed on Izuru's phone, he called you and Natsumi, who was the one that spun, dared you to kiss Nagito
Happy Sugar Life: Then you, in what I assume is a drug induced haze, kissed Nagito and the call ended
Gay oranges are real: Huh
SHSL Little Bitch: I don't know if all of this shit was caused by Nagito's luck and I certainly don't care but this is legit the happiest I've ever been
Gay oranges are real: Where even is Izuru?
SHSL Little Bitch: Sonia couldn't tame his hair so she said she won't let him leave until she could braid it nicely
Gay oranges are real: Alright so I lost my first kiss to Nagito and we're going to have a DIY coffee date in my brother's dorm room tommorow. All of this while I'm delirious from Izuru's magic fucking medicine
Happy Sugar Life: It do be like that sometimes