The garden
”YES” Lexa smiled towards Clarke and she couldn’t believe what just happened, she had been a bit occupied - she knew that but as soon as she heard Ashley speak again Clarke was brought back to reality.
Ashley had asked her to prom and Lexa had said yes.
She noticed that Lexa was angry with her, she could see it in green eyes that was attacking her soul right now. Clarke knew she had been distant lately and Lexa had to suffer from it - or did she knew that? Clarke had to reflect over the week and realized she hadn’t given her girlfriend that much attention.
Still, agreeing to going to prom with Ashley in front of the whole school? How the hell was she’s suppose to be okay with that? She noticed how the brunette made her way from the field so Clarke stood up, ready to go after her.
”Clarke?” Raven grabbed her arm. ”Where are you going?”
”Did you just see what happened?” Clarke asked her frustrated.
”I’m surprised you did” Raven scoffed. ”She finally got your attention”
”I don’t need you to argue with me right now” She was upset already.
”Come on, this is just like you. You say you’re sorry and then you do the same bullshit again. I don’t want to be mean but you kind off deserved this”
”Raven” Octavia looked at her. ”Come on, that’s a bit harsh”
”What’s your problem with me?” Clarke crossed her arms. ”Damn, every time you get the chance you yell at me”
”The problem isn’t making amends Clarke, the problem is that every time you do something horrible you say you’re sorry…” Raven took a deep breath and stared into her eyes. ”And then you do it again” Raven waited for an reply but Clarke was pretty speechless at the moment. ”You have been going on about Bellamy all week, nothing else has mattered to you. Did you even know Lexa’s mom is up and going? That she’s feeling better?”
”What…?” Clarke swallowed, she had no idea.
”Of course you didn’t, while you been busy thinking about Bell Lexa has been helping her mom, it’s not perfect but that you don’t even know about this should ring a warning bell”
”Raven” Clarke shook her head. ”I have to go”
”We can talk later” Raven glared at her.
”You know what?” Clarke grumped. ”I rather not”
She left their seatings knowing she just had a big fight with her best friend, she was not on a roll right now and she had upset three people she cared about. Clarke just couldn’t understand why Raven always got so angry with her, she liked that the Latina was honest but sometimes she got involved in things she shouldn’t. Or - instead off yelling at her Raven could’ve advised her.
Clarke had to deal with that later, now she wanted to find Lexa and the brunette wasn’t watching the game right now. She had seen her just a few moments ago so maybe she had gotten back to the changing rooms.
It was smelly in there, like someone had left a bag filled with sweaty clothes and forgotten about them but Lexa was sitting on a bench in there.
”Lexa?” Clarke announced her presence and the brunette looked up.
”Took you longer than I expected” Lexa was angry.
”I had an argument with Raven…” Clarke sighed.
”You seem to argue with a lot off people” Her girlfriend rolled her eyes.
”I know that you’re mad at me but what the fuck was that?” Clarke wasn’t happy either. ”Prom?”
”You wanted us to be a secret, bet no one suspects us now”
”This is not what I meant…” Clarke sat down next to her.
”What did you mean then? Maybe you wanted people to believe you where dating Bellamy, going after him at the party? Huh?” Lexa spitted through her teeth. ”I don’t like being your second choice, or third? Or forth? I don’t even know anymore”
”I had a bad week but that’s not fair” Clarke shook her head.
”No you didn’t have a bad week, you choose to make it bad instead of listening to any of our advice” Lexa turned to look at her.
”I hate that I can’t do anything about this” Clarke admitted. ”It’s frustrating…I…”
”You can’t control how other people feel” Lexa cut her off. ”But you can control your actions and this week showed a whole new side off you”
”Lexa, I am sorry…I didn’t mean to hurt you, honestly I was to blind to notice this even affected you badly”
”Do you hear yourself?”
”I realize how bad it sounds but I guess I thought we where strong together”
”You mean take me for granted?”
”That’s not what I mean…” Clarke felt defeated, she had really hurt Lexa’s feelings and she wasn’t sure how to handle this. She never wanted to hurt her. ”Please…” Clarke placed a hand on Lexa’s thigh and the brunette got stiffed.
”I just don’t think you understand what you did wrong…” Lexa stood up.
”Don’t go” Clarke begged.
”I’m going home” Lexa was firm but it reminded Clarke about her mom.
”I heard you mom was getting better?”
”Don’t” It seemed like that got Lexa even more angrier. ”Fuck you Clarke”
”LEXA!” Clarke yelled after her as the brunette was storming out but it was pointless, her girlfriend was quick to leave the scene and Clarke could feel herself break. She didn’t want to go out there and make a scene and she had to cover her mouth to not cry out loud.
***
It was Saturday and it was sunny outside, seemed like the perfect day off to do something great but Lexa was still in a bad mood after her argument with Clarke. She still hadn’t changed from her pajamas and had ignored checking her phone all morning.
Lexa knew she couldn’t avoid it forever and decided to check her missed calls and texts from Clarke.
Clarke Griffin: Lexa, can we please talk?
Clarke Griffin: I feel so bad, please. I’m sorry.
That was just a few off the messages that she had left but Lexa was bored of hearing her say sorry all the time. Damn, Clarke could be so stubborn sometimes.
Lexa Woods: I don’t feel like talking to you right now, I’ll call you later.
Hopefully she would leave her alone for a little bit, she needed her space but Clarke wasn’t the best at giving people space.
She decided to go see if her mother was awake, something incredible had happened this week. Lexa had been on her way to school when she had overheard some sounds coming from the room her mom was living in at the moment. She had gently knocked on the door and seen her standing by the window, watching out on their backyard.
”Mom?” She had gently whispered into the room and her mother had turned around with a shy smile on her face.
”Lexa” Her voice had been a bit raspy but it had been beautiful to hear it again.
Ever since that day it had been new changes everyday, her mother had showered, left the room, starting to make small conversations and really tried to make an effort. Maybe didn’t sound much to someone else but it was huge for her mother.
As usual Lexa knocked on the door before entering her moms room but she was glad to see that she was awake.
”Good morning” Lexa carefully sat down next to her on the bed. ”How are you feeling?”
”My baby” Her mother looked at her. ”Should we have breakfast in the garden?”
”Yes” Lexa maybe said a little to exited but she was usual the one to suggest things, she never wanted to push her mom and it seemed to help.
”Come on then” Her mother stood up and reached for her hand and Lexa followed her down to the kitchen.
”Hi mom” Anya was sitting in there and gave Lexa a confused face.
”We where thinking breakfast outside” Lexa informed her.
”Sounds lovely” Anya nodded.
”Becca?” Their dad entered the room and was surprised as well to hear all the voices from the kitchen.
”Pancakes?” Her mom suggested.
”Yeah” Anya smiled at her as she stood up and started to prepare all the things they needed to make pancakes.
It was weird, all off them making breakfast together - they probably hadn’t spent time with each other for months, at least not at the same time. She liked that none off them tried to make a big deal out off it, they just enjoyed the moment.
As they sat down in the garden and started to eat their breakfast her mom suddenly got a sad smile on her face.
”What happened to my garden?” She looked around devastated.
”Our gardener has been taking care off it” Her dad replied, a bit stressed about the sudden change off mood in Becca.
”My poor flowers”
”Maybe we can take care off them?” Anya smiled at her as she spoke calmly.
”That’s a great idea sweety, I can teach the two off you how to actually take care off a garden”
”Sounds great” Lexa nodded.
”Come on” Their mother stood up and the rest off the family looked at her confused.
”Maybe we can eat first?” Their dad said.
”Oh…I forgot about that” Becca laughed nervously. ”Of course” It’s like she was ashamed.
”Sit down love” Her dad smiled. ”Girls, maybe you can talk about what’s going on in your life?”
”Yeah…at school - ” Lexa started.
”Lexa…” Her dad interrupted her. ”Maybe you can talk about how Luna is back?” Her dad didn’t want her to talk about school and she felt her heart skip a beat, she could never impress him.
”Oh mom, did you know I have a girlfriend?” Anya changed the subject and Lexa thanked her sister in silence.
***
Clarke looked at her phone again, Lexa had answered that she would call her later - when was later? It’s been hours now and she couldn’t focus on anything else right now. She needed to talk to her, she didn’t like how they ended things.
The front door crack open caught her attention and she could hear her mom entering the apartment.
”Mom?” Clarke yelled and left her room to greet her.
”Hi love” Abby took off her clothes and placed her shoes to the side so they wouldn’t be in the way.
”How was work?” She asked.
”Stressful like always, but nothing too chaotic” Her mother sighed, she looked tired. ”What are you doing home on a Saturday?”
”I - ” Clarke had to breath in a few times because she could feel herself getting teary.
”Clarke?” Her mother noticed immediately and got worried.
”I messed up mom…” Clarke cried out and her mother pulled her into a hug.
”Oh sweetie” Abby caressed her back.
”Everyone is angry with me…I can’t do anything right”
”Come on” Abby dragged them into the living room and they sat down in the couch. ”Talk to me, whats going on?”
”I don’t know where to start…” Clarke gathered herself, it would feel great to talk to her mom, she could tell her everything but that meant that she had to start with telling her about Lexa, so she did. She told her all about their story leading up to this moment while her mother listened to every word she said. ”And then…from out of nowhere Bellamy said he had feelings for me and it sort off took me off guard. I told him I wasn’t interested, that I didn’t have feelings for him and he got upset. I get it’s not what you want to hear when you confess your feelings for someone but he just completely ignored me. Like I don’t exist to him anymore…” Clarke sighed.
”So that’s why you’re upset?” Her mother wondered, trying to take everything in.
”That’s a part off it…I couldn’t shake him off my mind, I mean I known him for years and suddenly he shuts me out, it’s killing me - but I was stupid enough to shut Lexa out at the same time. I was stupid enough to not even realize it and she’s really upset with me…” Clarke sighed. ”And then Raven yelled at me too and I told her I didn’t wanna talk to her”
”Oh Clarke…” Her mother shook her head. ”That was not really nice what you did towards Lexa, she was trying to be there for you but you didn’t appreciate that. I can see why she got upset…”
”I know I fucked up”
”The problem is that you have to start seeing what’s around you rather than focus on what you can’t do anything about. Even if I know you care so much about your friends…Bellamy is hurt right now and you need to accept that, give hime time and process this.”
”Everyone keeps telling me I’m the problem” Clarke sighed.
”I’m just saying I understand where they are coming from…but you know that you and Raven will be friends in no time, Bellamy will come around and…just talk to Lexa”
”She said she would call me later, I’m still waiting”
”If you can spam Bellamy for a week, you can do the same for her”
”Fuck…you’re right” Clarke swore to herself. ”Can you give me a ride?” She stood up.
”Where?” Her mom looked at her confused.
”I’m gonna go see her, she needs to know how much I care about her”
”Okay” Her mother rushed after her.
It didn’t take long until they parked on the familiar street, Clarke wanted to walk the last part to gather herself a little bit. She wasn’t nervous but she was scared that Lexa would reject her - tell her to go away or…she didn’t want to think about all the horrible things that could happen.
She reached the front door, she still wasn’t used to this huge mansion - sometimes she forgot how filthy rich Lexa’s family was. Clarke rang the door bell and it took a few minutes before she finally could hear the door unlock.
”Hello?” An unfamiliar face opened the door, it was an middle-aged woman and Clarke wondered if it was Lexa’s mom.
”Hi..” Clarke actually got nervous now. ”I’m looking for Lexa”
”Oh..” The woman smiled now. ”I’m Becca, Lexa’s mom. Nice to meet you!”
”I’m Clarke” She shook her hand and she understood where Lexa’s beauty came from, her mother was beautiful even if she looked a bit tired. Wasn’t strange with everything she had been through.
”What are you doing here?” Lexa spotted her from the hallway, she didn’t look happy to see her.
”Don’t be so rude Lex” Her mother hushed her daughter.
”I can come back later” Clarke suggested.
”Nonsense” Becca shook her head. ”We are gonna make the garden beautiful we need all the hands we can get” She sounded excited and Clarke carefully looked at Lexa who sighed before she nodded towards her.
”Sounds fun” Clarke smiled at Becca.
”This is the Clarke you told me about?” Becca chuckled at Lexa. ”She’s gorgeous, you’re right”
”Mom” Lexa wined.
”I’ll be right back, Lexa show her the garden” She disappeared and the girls awkwardly made their way outside, Clarke was surprised to see the garden. It looked more than perfect to her.
”What’s wrong with the garden?” Clarke tried to ease the tension.
”What are you doing here?” Lexa didn’t answer her.
”I needed to talk to you” Clarke pleaded.
”If it weren’t for my mom I wouldn’t have invited you here” Lexa was still angry with her. ”Just stay here for a little while and then lie and say that you have to go home”
”Lexa…” Clarke felt her heart ache. ”Please”
”Please do this for me” Lexa looked at her. ”Listen to me for once”
Clarke wasn’t sure what to say and Lexa didn’t wait for a reply, she walked away to some flowers and started digging without another word.