The Angel of Small Deaths

Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
F/F
F/M
G
The Angel of Small Deaths
Characters
Manon Blackbeak, Manon Blackbeak/Elide Lochan, Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre, Manon Blackbeak & Elide Lochan, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn, Manon Blackbeak & The Thirteen, Asterin Blackbeak/Petrah Blueblood, Kaya Blackbeak/Thea Blackbeak, Elide Lochan, The Thirteen (Throne of Glass), Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien, Rowan Whitethorn, Lorcan Salvaterre
Tags
Porn With Plot Sorry Not Sorry idiots to lovers The lovers remain idiots dear god I made it gay so very very gay shove the plot through a blender and what do you get? THIS FIC! all aboard the angst train (whoop whoop!) but also like catastrophic levels of fluff but like also who cares about the plot when there's porn not the idiots in this fic! did I mention it's gay all hail Pickles the cat three two one let's go bitch we die like real writers
Summary
Welcome to Miami. Shit’s going to get wild. Meet Manon Blackbeak: heir and queen to the Miami club scene. Meet Elide Lochan: a veterinarian who makes a mean homemade cookie. They are both, for the record, complete idiots. Because Elide is in love with Lorcan. Got it? Lorcan. Not Manon goddamned Blackbeak, her childhood love, her teenage dream, her best friend. No, she’s over that heartbreak. Totally, 100% over it. And Manon … Manon has loved Elide Lochan since they were eight years old and still has no goddamned clue what to do about it. There’s a bachelorette party. There’s a rogue gerbil in a strip club. There’s a cat named Pickles. There’s two idiots, who might, just might, find their way to becoming lovers. But they never stop being idiots. So welcome to Miami. Dive on in, the water’s fine. [Complete!]
Note
Welcome, welcome! This story was supposed to be a cute, little ficlet and then it became .... not so little. It's still cute, but now with a dash of angst, a heavy sprinkle of fluff, a solid dose of porn amidst the plot, and an absolute crap-ton of feels. As we all try to somehow survive this fucking wild year, follow me as I dive face-first into a Miami where the ToG characters run wild and our idiots to lovers are about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime ...
All Chapters Forward

Coven

[Coven]

 

Vesta: Updates! Now!

 

Fallon: bounty hunting is a weird occupation

           Faline’s kicked three men in the dick today

           I’m currently hanging out in the back of a Denny’s

           With a knife

 

Briar: I made Patrick cry during a meeting today bc he is a shitty lawyer and I am not

 

Sorrel: oh is that why he was hiding in the bathroom all afternoon?

 

Edda: IM THE ONE WHO MADE HIM CRY

         QUIT STEALING MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS

 

Briar: why

         no one can tell us apart anyway

 

Edda: dick

         I'm still prettier

         Maybe I should pity bang him?

 

Briar: sure

        He’s dumb but hot

        Text me a review

 

Lin: can someone help me sneak booze into my dorm

 

Imogen: NO

 

Lin: can someone other than Gee Gee help me sneak booze into my dorm

 

Thea: sure

         What do you want?

 

Imogen: THEA NO

 

Kaya: THEA YES

 

Vesta: this is all great not what im fucking talking about and you know it

 

Sorrel: never saying this again but I’m with ves

 

Ghislaine: wait, what the hell happened?

 

Vesta: oh my god G crawl out of the book stacks once in a while

          ELIDE

          MATRON

          IBIZA

          ITS NOT GOOD WHEN IM THE BRAINS OF THIS FAMILY

 

Kaya: when were you ever the brains of this family?

 

Manon: fuck off

 

Asterin: I want peace and quiet. I want it so badly. I had a set until 5 am last night.

            So in the name of shutting you all up, here’s your mother fucking updates

            (text over me I dare you)

            Elide fucking killed it

            Manon failed to mention it would be a strip club

            Perrington got smacked down hard

            Erawan got metaphorically and quite possibility literally castrated

            Matron bought the rouse, all of it, thanks again to Elide and possibly a little to Manon

            Elide informed Erawan that she’s a socialite/philanthropist who works for a charity to help Miami’s poor chihuahuas get their anal glands trimmed

            Now fuck off

 

Vesta: my. hero.

          Manon can I marry her

 

Manon: no.

            Thanks for the heels. By the way.

 

Vesta: shit

          Love you, kisses

          It was her idea

 

Manon: oh. I know.

 

Ghislaine: I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON

                Bitch you better marry elide

 

Kaya: does anyone know a good electrician? I’m trying to bake and I blew up the stove

 

Thea: fuck

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