Delta
I knew every inch of you. Perfect resonance. Perfect radiance. Perfect light.
- Unknown
It had been a bad week.
Sometimes Elide had bad weeks. Sometimes she had good weeks. Bad days. Gray days. Good days.
It had been a bad week.
A quiet week. Staring off into the distances, through walls and across horizon lines, sight beyond sight. Life after life. The place where a bloody diamond used to sit on her finger an aching, formless weight. The scar across her cheek a permanent reminder of everything that she couldn’t fucking change.
She hadn’t spent much time sleeping. She had spent a lot of time pretending to watch Netflix, curled on the couch, picking at food. Waiting for sleep to come. Waiting until the sun rose in an orange punch across the sky.
She didn’t sleep in their bed. Manon was gone on a business trip to Monaco and the sheets felt cold.
Waiting.
For the gray fog to stop rising. For the gray fog to stop descending. For her body to stop drowning in the middle.
Waiting.
+
Carefully pulling her hair into a ponytail, sleek and clean, Manon dialed Elide’s number and set the phone to speaker. She was half-way through reapplying mascara when it flipped to voicemail. “Hey baby, you’re probably asleep – god I hope you’re asleep. Sorry I couldn’t call sooner, I’ll try to catch you tomorrow. See you in three days. I love you.”
End call.
Manon starred down at the phone, tapping her nails against the sink counter. This was the second call that had gone to voicemail. The second time. She was –
Sorrel lightly knocked on the half-open bathroom door. “Hey. We need to go soon. Matron is about to have a bitch fit.”
“Oh no.” Manon deadpanned, cracking her neck. “That’s terrible.”
“Try not to piss her off, will you? I want my life to not be a living hell for the next three days.”
“You’re her personal assistant. Your life is a living hell.” Manon shot Sorrel her sweetest smile, pure pit viper.
“Fuck you too.” Punching Manon in the shoulder, Sorrel rolled her eyes. “Now can we go? Or are you still trying to make yourself pretty?”
“Just for that, I’m going to make us late.”
“No.”
+
Elide woke up to another missed call from Manon.
She rolled over and groaned into the couch cushion. She wanted to talk to her girlfriend. She didn’t want to talk to her girlfriend.
She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to fall asleep in Manon’s arms.
She wanted to sleep. She wanted to scream.
She wanted to breathe.
+
Miami.
Oh thank fuck, thank god, Miami.
Manon let her eyes drift shut, breathed in deep, the wet Florida heat burrowing back into her lungs. She exhaled some of the tension her body had been carrying for the past week. Because fuck her grandmother, that raging cunt. By her side, Sorrel uncapped her water bottle and took a long drink (fun fact: it might be a clear liquid, but it’s not water).
They’d just seen that aforementioned cunt of a grandmother off, the chauffeured black Lexus (please watch Manon restrain an eyeroll) peeling away across the private airfield, carrying away Matron and whatever pretty young thing was warming her bed this week.
Iskra used to curl close around Manon in the bed they’d shared and whisper that she’s inherited all of her grandmother’s nastiest traits. Iskra did so delight in reminding Manon that in all her sharpest, bloodiest edges, she was her grandmother’s own.
‘That’s why you like bringing home rich bitches to fuck, isn’t it babe? That’s why you treat women like they’re disposable.’
Iskra did so love burrowing little knives in Manon’s back. Iskra was a big believer in death by a thousand cuts
Because Manon … she didn’t want … she wasn’t …
She wasn’t her grandmother.
She wasn’t her grandmother.
Even if the face that looked back in the mirror haunted her.
She wasn’t her grandmother.
She wasn’t her grandmother.
“Manon?” Sorrel lightly tapped the water (ehm) bottle against her elbow. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah. Sorry.” Running a hand through her hair, a rough, impatient gesture, Manon palmed her car keys. “You still want a ride, right?”
“No, I want to fucking walk.”
“Whatever.”
Sliding in her car (at least she drove her own car like a goddamned adult, grandmother), Manon couldn’t help but smile when she saw Elide’s jacket dumped carelessly in the passenger seat. And she couldn’t stop herself from grinning when Sorrel tossed that jacket into the backseat.
“You’re so domestic.” Sorrel said, sinking low in the seat and pulling out her phone.
“Oh, go fuck yourself.”
“Again, asexual, so I’m good.”
Flipping her off, Manon grinned. “The point stands.”
“Just drive.” So Manon did. Because she was going to see El soon. See her and hug her and press her up against the nearest wall and kiss her senseless. “And remember,” Sorrel muttered, already back to answering emails, “tonight is Lin’s 21st birthday party. We’re all taking her out.”
“Oh, fuck right.”
“Did you forget?”
“No. I was busy thinking about banging El.”
“GROSS.”
+
Except there wasn’t an Elide.
There was a quiet apartment.
Walking inside, Manon dumped her keys on the counter and her bag on the floor, kicked off her heels and didn’t care where they landed. “El? Babe?”
There was a very quiet apartment.
There was – she checked her phone. There was a text.
[El]
Elide: At Aelin’s. Sister thing.
I took Abraxos w me.
See u tonight.
Not even bothering with texting back, Manon just called. She’d never admit before a court or god how fast a smile broke across her face when Elide picked up on the third ring. “Hey baby.”
“Hi Manon.”
And she sure as fuck didn’t stop smiling as Elide’s voice settled into her, dropping through her body like a stone into clear water. Perfect resonance. Curling onto the couch, Manon exhaled and felt her body go easy for the first time all a week. “God, it’s good to hear your voice. I’ve,” yawn, “missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
“I’m sorry I kept calling when you were asleep.”
“It’s okay. I know you were busy.”
“Yeah, but …”
“Manon,” Elide gently interrupted her, “it’s okay. We both know what it’s like when Matron has you on a business trip. Did you even get any sleep?”
“No.” Manon admitted with a soft laugh.
“Yeah. I thought so. You should do that before Lin’s party tonight. I’m going to be at Aelin’s until then – so rest.”
“But El,” and Manon really couldn’t stop the soft whine in her voice, “I miss you. I don’t want to sleep.”
“You need to sleep.”
“Not when I’m this pent up. It’s been a week since I’ve done so much as kissed you.”
“Sleep. Manon.”
“Fine.” Curling deeper into the couch, Manon felt her eyes slip closed. “See you tonight. I love you baby.”
“Love you too.”
The line went dead.