Chapter 1
“Maybe it’s not great being an unstable single mom.”
Judy is sitting next to Jen on the couch, clearly trying hard not to stress about whether or not she’s pregnant. Jen’s trying not to show it, but her brain is working overtime trying to contain all the emotions she’s experiencing right now. She’s tried to focus on Judy. Focus on how her hands haven’t stopped fidgeting since she set the timer on the table. Can hands be pretty? Is that a thing? If so, Judy’s are.
Jen would kill herself if anyone else knew just just how often she’d thought about Judy’s hands.
Fuck, she has to respond.
“Who’s mother is stable?”
That gets a laugh out of Judy, a sound Jen never tires of and certainly doesn’t hear enough. She thinks sometimes about how people call each other “ray of sunshine” to be sarcastic but Judy literally is one. She’s bright and beautiful and... fuck. She’s so beautiful. And without even meaning to Jen starts talking again, “And you won’t be a single mom.” Judy looks over at her, and though Jen has never been very good at reading emotions she thinks the expression on Judy’s face is less of confusions and more of hope.
“You have me. We can be like a three-child mothering team.”
And there it is. A smile on Judy’s face that could light up an entire fucking building. Jen leans in a bit, without even realizing she has. Have Judy’s eyes always been that color? She could spend all day getting lost in her eyes. And then Judy is looking at her and- Jesus Christ they’re so close. Jen pulls back slightly, hoping it didn’t come across as rude to Judy, and hoping the last few moments hadn’t come across as... whatever it was that Jen was really feeling.
“A mothering team.” Judy’s voice is soft and Jen thinks about everything, her hands, her voice, her eyes. How she hadn’t truly known what it was like to be loved until she met Judy.
Judy looks at back at her and Jen wonders for the millionth time what she did to deserve to share a life with this angel of a woman beside her. And she realizes with a start that if Judy is pregnant, she’ll be able to raise a child with her. A child that Jen would without hesitation lay her life on the line for. And if that child shares even a fraction of Judy’s incredible heart, then Jen could live happily knowing she’s done something amazing just by being there for them.
She swears Judy must be fucking psychic because they look in each other’s eyes and it’s like Judy is seeing and validating every single thought and feeling in Jen’s head.
Jen leans in, deliberately this time. She touches foreheads with Judy, and then Judy touches her lips to Jen’s and Jen reels for a second because wait she was supposed to do that but then nothing matters except Judy’s lips on hers and Judy’s face in her hands as they kiss and suddenly the name of what Jen’s been feeling comes to her.
Love.
The timer goes off.