Chapter 5
Clarke took a deep breath, holding the crisp air in her lungs until they burned and then slowly exhaling. Winter was creeping closer. Every day the temperature seemed to drop a little more. In the early morning hours, you could see your breath on every exhale. The leaves on the trees had started shifting color, something she remembered learning in her Earth Studies class. It meant autumn. The season right before winter.
It had been a week since the attack. Clarke had spent every day attending to the numerous injuries of the remaining members of the 100. Most just had superficial cuts from the explosions and bruises from the chaotic scramble to the dropship. Raven’s ankle had been the worst of the injuries.
After resetting it, Clarke had made some slight modifications to the brace the mechanic had constructed. Making it more sturdy and ensuring it held the girl’s lower leg and ankle completely immobile. The brunette had been ordered to bed rest. She wasn’t allowed up except to relieve herself. The hammock in the dropship had become hers for the time being rather than the tent they’d been sharing. Clarke brought her food for each meal and checked in on her medically. They hadn’t spoken outside of basic courtesies and medical checks since Clarke had reset the bone.
Clarke hated it. She missed her friend terribly. But she was still working to make peace with what Raven had risked for her. So she busied herself with tending to others, and once there were no more patients, she helped with the reconstruction of the camp’s wall.
The decision to remain at the camp after the attack was not reached peacefully. In fact, Clarke and Bellamy had so wholeheartedly disagreed on the matter, that it resulted in a full-on screaming match in the middle of the camp. Bellamy wanted them all to leave as soon as possible. He insisted that they were in danger there because clearly, the grounders knew where they were. Clarke opposed this belief on two fronts.
For one thing, she didn’t believe it was the grounders that had attacked them. At least not the ones that they were familiar with. The non-lethal weapons were far advanced from the arrows and spears they’d faced previously. Grounders used trees, whereas whoever attacked them and took their friends had used some sort of vehicle. They’d found some tracks, though they’d lost them at a river. The use of vehicles explained how they’d been able to take 33 bodies and seemingly vanish. But it didn’t match with everything they’d come to know about the grounders, even if their knowledge was still extremely limited.
Clarke also disagreed that leaving was the smart move. Yes, the grounders and whoever else was out there knew where they were. But the grounders had known where they were from the moment the dropship landed. And that dropship was the only true protection they had. 63 people trying to navigate the forest to find someplace safe to set up camp completely undetected was an absurd plan. Staying and rebuilding their walls, while also fortifying the dropship as much as possible, was the smart move.
The two leaders had screamed at each other for almost an hour going in circles around the decision. Clarke had even thrown the low punch by asking how Octavia would feel if she came back to find the camp abandoned. She was honestly surprised the oldest Blake hadn’t charged her in that moment. But in the end, a vote was taken. It was nearly unanimous. The remaining 61 saw both Bellamy and Clarke as their leaders. In that moment it wasn’t more faith in one over the other that won out. Rather, it was the safety, comfort, and familiarity of the camp, and especially the dropship, that won them over to Clarke’s side on the matter. They voted to stay and rebuild. Bellamy had barely looked at Clarke since the decision was made. That was two days ago.
Between not really speaking with Raven and Bellamy doing his best to ignore and avoid her at all costs, Clarke was left with plenty of time to think. As she helped to rebuild and secure the camp her mind would race. The people that had attacked them had wanted those that they took to be alive. That meant that they probably needed them for something. But nothing Clarke came up with made sense. She couldn’t imagine taking any of her people would be useful to the masked strangers.
And that was another fact that didn’t add up. Their masks. Three nights after the attack she’d used some charcoal and a scrap of cloth to draw what she could remember of what the attackers looked like. Between the chaos of it all, her concussion, and the less than ideal drawing tools, the sketch was rough at best. She showed it to some of the others around camp to see if they recalled anything concrete about what the attackers looked like. Most that she talked to didn’t see anyone as they had already fled into the dropship before the strangers had begun to move forward into the actual camp. But Monty had confirmed that what Clarke had seen and drawn was correct. The people wore masks with a tube coming out of them and leading to some sort of tank. He said it reminded him of a spacesuit. And that’s when it clicked for Clarke.
Oxygen. For whatever reason, the attackers weren’t breathing the air. But that didn’t help her to make any more sense of anything. The air was breathable. None of the 100 sent down had died of radiation. It didn’t make sense.
Clarke would go around in circles about it all, trying to understand why they’d been attacked, but eventually, her frustration at never coming up with any plausible answer would win out. Instead, she would switch to thinking about the bigger problem the group faced. How to get their people back.
She knew from Raven and Bellamy that the tire tracks had been found by a scouting team they’d sent out as soon as it was safe to leave the dropship. But those tracks had been lost at a river and since then it had rained hard twice so any hopes of finding some trail to follow were completely dashed. Vehicles also meant that the distance their friends could have been taken was a lot farther than any of their group had dared to venture out on foot. When Clarke had dared to bring her thoughts of a rescue mission to Bellamy the older boy had all but laughed in her face. He believed that their people had been taken far beyond their reach and were already dead. But Clarke refused to believe that. Not yet.
She wished that she could bring all of this to Raven. The mechanic would probably be able to tell her things about the range and speed of vehicles that Clarke had no idea about. But the older girl was still on her mandated bed rest and their conversations were awkward at the best and non-existent at the worst. So Clarke resigned herself to trying to puzzle it all out on her own.
The one thing that she had decided was to not necessarily believe that Bellamy was right about their friends being out of reach. She reasoned that in order to have known what parts of the wall to blow in, the people that attacked them would have to have been watching their camp. If they used vehicles every time surely the group would have heard them or found some tracks. So that could mean that they potentially weren’t as far away as the use of vehicles originally led her to think. If the attackers came to watch the camp on foot, that would mean they had to be somewhat close. Of course, if they knew the forest, a short hike to them could still be a long one to her and the rest of the 100. However, that’s where the masks came in again. If they truly were being used for oxygen, and they couldn’t breathe the air, then the hike would have to be short enough that they wouldn’t run out of air.
Clarke was feeling pretty proud of herself for reasoning that all out. She was sitting outside her tent trying to soften the grip on her makeshift dagger with some cloth when Monty came over.
“Hey Clarke, you got a minute?”
“Sure Monty, what’s up?”
The younger boy sat down next to Clarke and pointed to her sketch of the attackers that was sitting out next to her backpack.
“I was thinking about the masks that they were wearing. Trying to figure out why they’d have them on when the air was breathable. And then I realized I was overthinking it way too much.”
Clarke stopped what she was doing and shifted to face the dark-haired boy.
“How so?”
“The masks probably did supply them with clean O2. But not because the air, in general, is toxic to them. Just the air during the attack.”
“What does that mean?”
“They threw those canisters with the red smoke. It knocked out anyone who breathed it in. Their masks were probably just to prevent them from falling victim to their own weapons.”
Clarke felt her stomach drop. Of course. Everything the boy was saying made sense. Monty was a smart kid, and she wasn’t surprised he’d connected dots she hadn’t even seen. But if what he was saying was correct, and it made sense that it would be, then her calculations about how far away her friends were taken just went out the window. The attackers didn’t need the oxygen to breathe so there was no time confinement. They could travel as long as it took to get to wherever they came from.
Something about her facial expression must have tipped Monty off to her despair. He reached out and gently placed his hand on her knee.
“What’s wrong?” Monty’s voice was soft.
“I just want something to make sense. Something that I can use or go off of to help me come up with a plan to get our people back.”
Clarke wasn’t sure why she was choosing to confide in Monty, but after not having Raven or Bellamy around it was nice to have someone listening.
“Get them back? You really think they’re still alive?”
Unlike when Bellamy had posed the same question, Monty’s voice wasn’t filled with a condescending edge. He was genuinely curious.
“I do. If they wanted us dead they would have killed us during the attack. They made the conscious decision to use non-lethal force. And then they took those that were knocked out. It wouldn’t make sense for them to go through all that trouble just to immediately kill them.”
“But why take us?”
“I wish I knew. Nearest I can guess is that they need us for something. But I have no clue what use we could be of to them. I just hope that whatever the reason is, it buys those taken enough time to stay alive until I can figure out how to find them and get them back.”
“Until we.”
“What?”
“You said ‘until I can get them back’, but it’s until we. I want to help Clarke. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. Almost everyone left is friends with someone who was taken.”
Clarke looked up and met Monty’s eyes that shone with tears.
“Who…?”
“Jasper.”
“I’m so sorry, Monty. I didn’t even realize. I mean I knew the list of who was taken but I’ve just been so caught up trying to… I’m sorry.”
Shaking his head, Monty gave Clarke a small smile, “It’s okay. I get it. You’ve kinda got a lot on your plate running this place. Which you’re pretty awesome at by the way. A lot better than Bellamy,” he paused with wide eyes, “Um please don’t tell him I said that. He kinda scares me.”
Clarke laughed. A real, full laugh. The first one in what felt like weeks. Monty joined in and the two laughed together for a long moment before she gently nudged his shoulder with her own.
“Your secret’s safe with me, Green.”
“Thanks, Clarke.”
“No, thank you. Really.”
Monty didn’t question the sincerity in the blonde’s tone. It was clear that she was saying thank you for more than just his compliment, but he didn’t pry. Instead, he jumped to his feet and brushed the dirt off his pants.
“Alright, I’m gonna go make sure the idiots I left sorting out our plant rations haven’t accidentally gotten high without me. But let me know if you need an ear to bounce ideas off of. I’ll be there.”
Clarke nodded with a smile and Monty turned and headed back towards the other side of camp.
Talking with the younger boy had released some of the tension that had been building in the blonde. Sure, his revelation about the masks had dashed the small amount of progress she’d thought she had made, but she still somehow felt more hopeful than she had before. Monty had listened to her case about the others still being alive and not only believed her but had wanted to help get them back if the opportunity presented itself. It was nice to know that she wouldn’t have to fight that battle alone.
Clarke returned her focus to her knife as her thoughts once again started to spin with different ideas of how to figure out where the 33 had been taken. She didn’t get far before a shadow fell over her. Looking up from her work, she found that she was once again not alone outside her tent. This time it was Bellamy who had joined her.
Unlike Monty, the older boy offered no greeting. He simply waited until they’d made eye contact before sitting down beside her. Clarke waited a moment, studying his side-profile, but when he made no move to speak she turned her attention back to her knife. She pulled out the stone she’d been using to help sharpen the blade and began the process of carefully gliding the metal along the stone. She was slow and methodical in her actions. Being too hasty in the task had only led to cut fingers; a lesson she had learned quickly.
Clarke had her blade about as sharp as it could be before Bellamy decided to break the silence. He sighed heavily beside her and she stilled her movements. Turning towards him, she found his dark eyes already on her. She hadn’t even noticed that he’d shifted to watch her as she worked. Now they locked eyes, blue meeting brown. Clarke raised an eyebrow at the boy beside her. inviting him to say whatever it was that he’d been chewing on since he sat down beside her.
“I think you might be right. I needed a minute to cool down and think it through clearly, but I think that there might be something to the idea that the ones the grounders took could still be alive.”
Clarke could see from the tense set of his shoulders how hard it was for Bellamy to admit that he’d been wrong. And while she understood that kind of pride all too well herself, she also knew that as leaders they couldn’t afford to let their ego stand in the way of level-headedness. She wasn’t about to let him off easy just because he was now finally coming to his senses.
“The grounders didn’t take them. At least not the people we refer to as grounders.”
She was ready for his argument. She was ready for his exasperation. Honestly, Clarke was ready for this to end up in another screaming match. What she was not ready for, however, was his response.
Bellamy let out another heavy sigh and dropped his gaze, avoiding giving the blonde next to him any eye contact.
“I know. You were right about that too.”
Clarke couldn’t stop her jaw from dropping slightly at his admission. She really had not been ready for it. But she quickly corrected her shocked expression as Bellamy lifted his face to meet hers once more.
“I didn’t want to believe that there could be others out there. It’s easier to unite a group when there’s one common enemy. Trojans versus Spartans. But against two enemies? For all we know maybe even more? It’s hard to think we’d even stand a chance. I didn’t want to believe that. But like I said, I cooled off and actually tried using my head for once, and you’re right. The people that we call grounders are different from whoever attacked us.”
Clarke studied the dark-haired boy before her. His tone was subdued but honest. Of course, he would be looking at this like one of the Greek legends from the time before the bombs. Anyone who names their little sister ‘Octavia’ clearly has a soft spot for the ancient stories. His eyes, always the most expressive part about him, were earnest as he waited for her to say something. Begging her to see that he was sorry even though he hadn’t said the words aloud. She turned away from his gaze and let out a sigh of her own.
“It’s hard to wrap your mind around. I get that. We’ve spent the last century thinking that the last of the human race was everyone up on the Ark. To suddenly find ourselves on a habitable Earth, being attacked on multiple fronts, by humans that we had no idea have survived… it’s a lot.”
“Yeah. That might be the understatement of the year, Princess.”
Clarke didn’t stop the slight upward curl of her lips at the name. Normally it was used as a dig at her when he said it, but right now, it was just Bellamy’s way of trying to get back to their normal footing.
“It might be, yeah. But it’s also the reality that we’re living in. And the sooner we accept that the sooner we can figure out how the hell to survive this.”
“I’m just gonna say I’ve learned my lesson and agree that you’re right immediately rather than wait a few days and have to come back with my tail between my legs.”
“Aw, and whoever said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?”
Bellamy let out a loud laugh and Clarke didn’t stop herself from grinning. As much as she sometimes hated that he’d somehow become her counterpart in leading the group of delinquents sent to the ground, she had to admit that it was nice to have someone else to help carry the load. And when he actually took his head out of his ass they made a pretty decent team. Clarke was relieved that he seemed to have come to his senses about the attack. It would be easier to come up with some sort of plan if they were on the same side instead of butting heads over every decision. Now she just needed to fix things with Raven.
As if he could read her mind, Bellamy stood up from where he’d been sitting next to Clarke and turned to face her. The serious face he wore was a sharp contrast to the laugh they’d been sharing moments before.
“Clarke. I know that I don’t have much of a leg to stand on when it comes to relationships with the people I love most. I mean, clearly, I drove my own sister away.” The older boy did his best to mask the pain in his voice at his mention of Octavia, but it was still evident. “I care about her so much, more than anything else in this world, and I’d give anything to have her back here so that I could tell her that. So that I could do better.”
“Bell…”
“No, just listen. Please.” There was a slight quiver in Bellamy’s voice now. Clarke nodded for him to continue. “Just don’t be like me. Don’t try so hard to protect the people who you care about that you end up actually hurting them in the process.”
Clarke’s lower lip snagged between her teeth and she looked away from the boy standing in front of her. She knew exactly what he was referring to, but she couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge it to him or to herself. Bellamy saved her the trouble of having to. He lowered himself until he was balancing on his toes in front of her, squatting down to her level. He waited until her watery blue eyes met his.
“Go fix things with Raven. Before it’s too late. The ground is a messed up, shitty place. But you managed to find a best friend down here. She balances you out and actually gets you to unwind. At least sometimes.” He smiled as his words managed to tug the corners of the blonde’s lips up slightly. “You need her. And she needs you. So stop being such a hard-head like me and go talk to her. Fix things. And then thank me later, Princess.”
Clake let out a choked chuckle. She wiped the one tear that had slipped out and nodded at the older boy. Bellamy gave her one of his rare lopsided grins before standing back up.
“I’m gonna go and check in with the watch team and then see how the progress is coming on the secondary wall over on the west side. I’ll catch ya later, Princess.”
“Sounds good Bell.”
With that, Bellamy turned and made his way back across the camp. Clarke took a steadying breath and looked down at her knife that was still sitting in her lap. She hadn’t quite finished the handle yet. The grip wasn’t as comfortable as she knew she could get it. But Bellamy’s parting advice kept running on repeat through her head. She knew that the older boy was right. She also knew that if she sat and over thought it for too long she would lose any resolve his words had mustered in her. Taking another deep breath, Clarke stood up. She slid the knife into the makeshift sheath she’d fashioned for herself and brushed any loose dirt from her pants. With a final ‘Don’t be a coward’ muttered to herself under her breath, Clarke set off for the dropship door.