I Love You More Than Myself
Lin woke up the next morning to the smell of breakfast. She got up with a groan and walked into the kitchen. Kya silently handed her a cup of tea and turned to the stove. She continued cooking but to her surprise, Lin set her cup down and wrapped her arms around her waist. “Hey baby, good morning,” she said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.
“Good morning my love,” she said with a soft smile. She dished up Lin’s breakfast, pressing a kiss to her cheek. The two ate in comfortable silence, hands laced together.
“So I’ve been looking into therapy,” Kya said, taking a sip of tea. “I found someone that I think we’ll both like. I remember one of the healers recommending her. Her name is Li Meiza. I called and scheduled an appointment for later this week, but I can cancel it if you want,” she said, rubbing her hand in reassuring circles against her palm.
“I can’t guarantee it’ll work, but I’ll try for you,” she said softly, pressing a kiss to her hand. “We can start with some couple’s sessions then move to individuals with her if you want.” Kya nodded, making her smile softly.
The police chief got up and began washing the dishes. Kya simply sat in her chair, simply watching her muscles move. Lin rolled her eyes and pretended to be irritated at her lover, but she couldn’t be, no matter how hard she tried.
“I’m going to probably go back into the office tomorrow, what about you?” she asked, placing the dishes in the cabinet.
“I’ll go in with you tomorrow. I’m guessing Saikhan has come up with some cover story for us?” At her nod, she chuckled. “He’s amazing.”
“Yeah, he is,” she said softly. “I wasn’t doing too hot after our argument and he made me take care of myself. He’s….he’s pretty damn amazing.”
Kya wrapped her arms around her. “I’m glad you have him,” she said, pressing a kiss to her neck. Lin leaned back into the taller woman, simply enjoying her arms around her. “We have a free day today, how do you want to spend it?” she asked, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
“I can think of a few things I’d like,” she said, leaning into her. “I’m all yours today.”
Kya bent down and smirked. “Is that so? We should go on another date. That was fun,” she said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
Lin smiled. “That sounds amazing babe. Where do you want to go?”
“I remember Asami recommending a few places. I’ve looked them up and Soteye’s Hut sounds good,” she said.
“Sounds good to me. Come on, let’s get ready,” she said, dragging Kya to their room.
“I want to try something different tonight,” she said, walking to their closet. Lin raised an eyebrow at her. “I want you to wear a dress, I think you’d look beautiful.”
“I like dresses but….I just feel weird. I’m so used to my uniform and I feel defenseless,” she said softly.
Kya kissed her cheek and laced her fingers through hers. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“I have an idea now,” she said with a smile. “We get ready together but dressed separately.”
“Sounds good to me,” Kya said, walking to the bathroom. She brushed her silver hair and reached to braid it, but Lin held her hand, forcing her to stop.
“Let me,” she said softly. “Do you want one braid or two?”
“One,” she said with a smile. Lin stood up, raising her arms above her head to reach the top of Kya’s head. “I can sit down if you want,” she said with a laugh.
“I am tall enough to do this,” she said stubbornly. She struggled and eventually admitted defeat, gesturing for her to sit. “It’s not my fault you’re tall as shit,” she grumbled. Kya simply chuckled at her girlfriend’s face, enjoying the calloused fingers running through her hair.
Lin pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead as she ran her fingers through her hair. Kya looked in the mirror, enjoying Lin’s intense face of concentration. Lin quickly sectioned off her hair and pulled it back into a braid. She finished and showed her in the mirror. “I think Su called it a fire ferret braid.”
Kya smiled and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I love it. Let me do your hair now,” she said softly. Lin nodded and she ran her hand through the short, gray hair. She gently combed out the tangles, running her long fingers through her hair. She sectioned off a small part of her hair and began a braid on the side of her head. She focused on weaving the gray hair into a beautiful braided crown. When she was done, she pinned it in place gently. “All done.”
“I love it baby, thank you.” She simply leaned back into Kya, loving how her girlfriend’s arms immediately moved to embrace her. “Let me do your makeup,” she said, getting up to open her makeup bag.
Kya smiled, face soft with affection. She knew Lin didn’t typically enjoy getting dressed up and the fact that she was willing to do so said a lot. “Alright, close your eyes,” she said, holding up some eyeshadow. Kya closed her eyes, feeling the gentle swipe of the brush on her eyelids. She heard her girlfriend muttering to herself and wiping a towel under her eyes.
“Okay, there we go!” she said with pride in her voice. Kya opened her eyes to see beautifully applied brown eyeshadow. Lin had applied some kind of silver eyeshadow along with the brown to bring out her eyes.
“It’s beautiful babe, thank you,” she said, giving her a kiss. Lin grabbed some blush, highlighter and other things Kya couldn’t identify. She quickly applied the makeup to her face, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Kya smiled at her girlfriend’s intense face of concentration.
“Do you like it? I’d do your mascara, but I don’t want to smudge it,” she said, handing Kya a tube. Kya quickly applied it and admired her makeup in the mirror.
“You did a fantastic job babe,” she said softly. “Let me do yours now.” Lin nodded and handed her the makeup bag.
“Close your eyes my love,” she said, grabbing an eyeshadow pallet. She brushed some gray eyeshadow onto her pale lids and added some bronze shimmer. She gently brushed some gold on the inner corner of her eyes and wiped the fallout shadow. “All done with the eyeshadow,” she said, placing the brushes on the counter.
“I love it so much,” she said, voice filled with awe. Kya smiled and continued to apply makeup. She swiped blush and highlight onto her face, accentuating her beautiful features. As a final step, she applied some subtle pink lipstick. “I don’t even recognize myself like this,” she admitted sheepishly, admiring her reflection.
Kya kissed her cheek. “You look beautiful with and without that makeup,” she said, pressing a kiss to her neck. “Come on, we need to get dressed.”
Lin got up and headed towards their closet. “Here, I’m heading to the guest room to change,” she said, grabbing a pair of heels. “Close your eyes.” Kya closed her eyes as her girlfriend got her clothes out.
She heard her walk to the guest room and place something down on the bed. “All good,” she called out.
Kya opened her eyes and shut the door to their bedroom. She slipped off her sleepwear, a tank top and some shorts, and left her wraps on. She slipped on a simple white blouse, buttoning up the shirt only halfway. She then put on a navy blue suit and admired her outfit in the mirror. She put on the simple white heels she wore on her first date with Lin.
She walked into the bathroom, fixing her necklace and adding some silver earrings. She placed a hand on her necklace, wishing that Lin had made it for her. She shook her head of those thoughts, the ones that dangerously whispered that she should make Lin hers forever. She didn’t want to tie her down, she knew how much the police chief valued her freedom.
She walked out of the room and knocked on the door to the guest room. “Are you ready babe?” she called out, leaning on the doorframe.
Lin opened the door, wearing a beautiful dark green dress. The dress came up high on her neck and draped to the floor. Kya noticed some small cutouts on the side of her dress near those beautiful hips. She could see a hint of her black heels at the bottom of the dress.
“You look beautiful,” she said, grabbing her hand. Lin’s fingers intertwined with hers and the two left the apartment. The two walked to the restaurant holding hands. Kya considered it progress that Lin held hands with her in public.
The two walked up to the restaurant, glad they had dressed up. Asami recommended some high end places, but Soteye’s Hut was almost as nice as Kwong’s Cuisine. “Hello, we were wondering if there was an available table,” Lin said, wrapping a hand around her waist.
“Of course, please follow me,” the waitress said, guiding them to their seats. “My name is Emi, please let me know if you need anything while you’re here. Would you two like to start with some drinks?”
“I’ll get some plum wine. How about you?” Lin said, looking at her.
“I’ll get some plum wine as well, thank you,” Kya said, shooting her girlfriend a smile. Emi left, leaving the two alone.
The two had casual conversation as they ate some delicious Fire Nation cuisine. The night flew by in a blur, the two lost in each other’s eyes and eating the food as it came.
They left the restaurant, Lin leaning on Kya. She suspected her girlfriend had a bit too much to drink and offered silent support as they walked back home. “I love you,” Lin said as she opened the door.
“I love you too,” she said, giving her a kiss. She gently removed Lin’s makeup and then washed her own off.
“I want to marry her,” her girlfriend said quietly. “She is so fucking amazing.”
Kya’s heart stopped. She realized Lin didn’t know she was speaking out loud. Wait, she wants to marry me too? She crushed that feeble feeling of hope before it built up. Lin was drunk as shit and not thinking clearly. “I love you too baby, we can talk later when you’re sober.”
Lin took her dress off and laid on their bed, waiting for Kya. She took her suit off and chuckled at her girlfriend. “You didn’t even take your shoes off,” she said, unbuckling the heels. She stepped out of her own heels and snuggled next to her.
“I love you baby. You complete me,” she said, bringing Lin close to her.
“I love you too. You left me but came back. No one’s ever done that before,” she admitted softly. Kya didn’t know if it was the wine or Lin being open, but she continued to talk. “I get afraid because I care about you so much it scares me. I don’t know how to show you that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, including myself.”
Kya pressed a kiss to her hair. “I love you more than I love myself too. We’ll talk in the morning beautiful. Goodnight babe.”
“Goodnight babe,” she said, tucking her head into her chest. Kya wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and fell asleep, holding her girlfriend close. She tried to crush the hopes building within her about marriage. She knew they would talk eventually and couldn’t wait for that conversation. The two fell asleep holding each other tightly.