Chapter 3
"...Shh! Don't wake them up!"
"What do you mean-"
"Look!"
"...oh..."
"..."
"..."
"Don't look at me like that, I'm just on wakeup duty!"
"S-so wake them up?!"
"But they're so cute..."
Hanta's brain slowly renders. He can hear voices, and one is vaguely female, and he can smell something cooking and wood smoke. Hanta blinks. The sun is just rising; he can see the golden streams through the windows and the dust flying through. He's warm, and nobody is actively shaking him so he huffs and snuggles back into the pillow. The pillow moves, though, and Hanta realizes that the wood smoke smell is a lot closer than he realized. Hanta forces his eyes open and tries to speed up the activity of his brain.
He stiffens when the pillow against his chest moves and red and white hair brushes his nose.
Todoroki is tucked up against him, having floated over sometime during the night and Hanta just grabbed onto him. His arm is tucked over Hanta's hip, and one is pressed between them. Hanta's arms are wrapped over his shoulders, and Todoroki is using his bicep as a pillow. It's nice, being curled up around someone, but as Todoroki huffs against his collarbone, Hanta's brain finally comes online.
"Mina, I'm begging you..."
Mina grins, and glances at Midoriya who's in the doorway. He's just peeking in, nervous but obviously finding humor in the situation. "What, honey? I didn't do anything, it definitely isn't me who's about to tell Ochako all about this."
Hanta groans, and picks his arm up from Todoroki, who groans back in that anti-morning way of his. "Five more minutes..."
"Todoroki, man, my arm is falling asleep. You can get your five minutes when I get up...!"
Todoroki lets out a longer but softer groan, and rolls into Hanta so that he's got half his weight on him. Hanta fumbles, weighing between accepting the comforting weight and panicking. This is fine, right? Friends can cuddle, he cuddled with Denki all the time before and Mina herself enjoys the odd long hug. There's no shame, right? It's just cuddling, while the cutest boy ever is pressed against your chest, smacking his lips... platonic, right? Right?!
Eh.
Maybe not.
Hanta sighs, and cringes at his own morning breath. He gently slides his arm out from under Todoroki's head, and can't stop his grin at the lines his shirt left on the boys cheek. He fights the urge to trace it with his finger, and shoos Mina and Midoriya out of the bedroom. They snicker, the terrible twos that they are, and Hanta listens to them going down the stairs as he heads into the bathroom. He pees in the toilet - kinda gross, not going to lie, but if its yellow, let it mellow - and quickly brushes his teeth. Todoroki grumbles something from where he's still laying in the bed, and Hanta peeks his head around the corner.
"You're definitely not a morning person."
Todoroki grumbles something that could be a line of swears back, and hauls himself into a sitting position. The sunlight shines on his face, and he squints in Hanta's direction and looking exactly like a lost puppy. He yawns, and Hanta leans back in the bathroom so spit his mouthful of foam out. He rinses his mouth, and by the time he's back out Todoroki is leaning over the side of the bed to grab his belt. Hanta walks over, and does the same before tugging his shoes on. Todoroki huffs behind him, and the bed creaks as he gets up to wander to the bathroom. Hanta smiles at his back and the absolute mess that the red and white hair has become. Cute.
He decides it's a bit rude to abandon your bedmate the morning after, so Hanta takes his time to right his belt and knife strap. It goes on his right thigh, and he turns it so that the handle of the knife is in easy grabbing distance. He thinks back to the gun inside the van, and the case of ammunition he slid under a seat. Hanta sighs, and rubs his fingers on his necklace. He doesn't like guns, never has. They're loud and dangerous, and both of those things are something Hanta wants to stay far away from. Kirishima has one; they found it a few months ago while snooping through some houses. He's only ever had to shoot lurkers, though, and only in a pinch. None of them have had to kill a person yet, but...
Well, let's say that it was close.
Todoroki comes out of the bathroom, looking a bit more awake. He nods at Hanta politely before putting his own shoes and belt back on. "Good morning, Sero. Did you sleep well?"
Hanta chokes on nothing and clears his throat as subtly as he can while watching deft fingers do up the laces. "Uh, yeah, I slept good. Beds are always nice compared to a floor or something."
Todoroki nods again, and stretches his arms out in front of him, fingers laced. "That's good. Should we go downstairs? I'm sure Bakugou has made something."
Only able to dumbly nod and follow, the pair heads downstairs. Hanta watches Todoroki's back as he gets lower down the steps, and his arms tingle at the memory of being wrapped around the other. Maybe Todoroki doesn't remember? Hanta didn't say anything, and it's no secret Todoroki isn't the most aware in the mornings. Hanta chews his lip, but pushes the thought aside. Whatever, if he wants to, they can talk about it later.
True to Todoroki's word, Katsuki is moving around the kitchen again. He's got a pot on the stove, and something smells vaguely sweet and smoky. Of course, Hanta is biased; he's decided wood smoke is his favorite scent. He and Todoroki sit on the stools closer to the hallway. Kirishima has an elbow on the island, leaning on it and just watching the blond cook. He looks more awake than Hanta feels. An open can of peaches is slid next to his elbow, and he sees Uraraka munching on her own.
"They're good! Cans seem to be the best thing created since bottled water." Hanta chuckles at her, and stabs a fork into the peach slice. He puts it in his mouth and nearly cringes at the sweetness, but swallows it regardless. He takes another before offering the can to Todoroki, who mumbles a quiet thank you and takes his own. Their fingers don't touch, and Hanta is almost disappointed.
Kirishima leans his head on both of his hands. "We should think about fortifying the area a bit. I like it here, and there's a decent amount of food in the basement. What do you guys think?"
The kitchen is quiet for a second, save for the metal clinking in Bakugou's hand. Uraraka sighs. "I agree. I know I'm not much help right now, but I know a few things about rationing and preserving food. There might still be summer fruits that we can get before it gets too cold."
Hanta shrugs when Kirishima looks at him. "I can see what I can do for traps. If Katsuki wants to sacrifice his cooking pans for me, that would be great. I can take the leftover cans, and raid the recycling." Hanta leans more on the counter, and traces his fingers over the cracks in thought. "We can set up a little warning system. Lurkers aren't going to move a line of cans out of the way, and they don't watch where they step. If it came to it, they would be good for humans too."
Kirishima nods. "We could stay for a little longer, just so we can see what we can do with this place. I don't think it's good enough for us to stay the winter, though. One shitty woodstove isn't enough to heat the house, and we don't have a generator."
Katsuki has been mostly quiet. He places a hotpad and the pot of steaming oatmeal on the island, and then turns around to come back with spoons. "Don't burn yourselves, we don't have enough ointment to go around!" The blond growls to himself, but softens when Kirishima hooks a finger in the pocket of the apron he's wearing, the action almost completely absentminded. Hanta watches with glee, and spares a glance at Uraraka, who grins back, but he doesn't say anything.
"Shitty Hair is right. We need somewhere with central heating, or at the very least a stable form of electricity. This place isn't too damn shabby, but it's not good enough."
Silence falls over the table. Somewhere in the house, someone is laughing and something falls on the floor. Hanta feels a nudge against his elbow, and takes back the can that Todoroki offers. The metal clinks, and Hanta wants to lean into the warmth on his right. Kirishima unhooks his finger, and Bakugou sways slightly in his direction before stealing a bite of the oatmeal.
"Let's just see what we can do. Maybe it'll be worth staying a few days."
---
Hanta breaks open the little shack behind the house, and uncovers exactly what he's looking for: an axe. There are a few pans on the back porch ready to be sacrificed, and Hanta grins widely at Uraraka. She's sitting in the sun, her dusty pink t-shirt reflecting the light onto the grey house siding. She's got a can in one hand, and a knife in the other, working at making a decent hole in the side. The roll of twine beside her already has a few cans threaded onto it, an example of what Hanta wanted her to do. Denki, Iida, and Midoriya are on exploration duty, seeking out anything useful in the surrounding trees.
"Alright, I'm gonna head over there. Watch and learn." Hanta lowers Mina's goggles over his eyes and tucks the bandana under them on his nose. The face protection is flimsy, but better than nothing. Hanta lays a pan out on a stump, and raises the axe over his head.
Crack!
The axe goes straight through, cutting the pan diagonally across the middle. Hanta pulls the axe out, one foot on the pan, and studies the hole he just made. Just under a foot long, and stretching from one corner to another. Nice.
He readjusts, and slams the axe through the cut, creating a second that makes an X.
Huffing a little as he pulls the axe out, Hanta picks up the pan and bends the sharp edges out a bit, so they're facing down. They give easily, not supported by anything but a thin piece of metal now. Hanta tilts it, and the edges gleam in the sunlight. The point is to act like a trap, one that you won't get out of if you panic or pull. The bends are on the bottom, so if you step in it, your foot or arm goes straight through. If you pull back, the edges dig in and you get even more stuck. Panic makes it worse, and the more you pull, the more damage you do. It's good for lurkers, who will normally lose the foot and get slowed down at a crawl, or for momentarily incapacitating a person. Hanta would much rather the former.
To escape it, you have to push your limb in further so you can get your fingers around the edges and pull them apart. You don't come out of it unscathed; there's normally always some kind of wound, but it's better than losing a limb to a cookie sheet.
Hanta explains this to Uraraka, who takes it in stride. She strings another can on the twine, and ties it next to Hanta's peach can. They clatter, and Hanta knows it'll work well. The girl glances up at him as he slams a hole in another pan. "So... a little birdy told me something."
Here we go.
"Oh yeah?"
"Mhm."
"Did this birdy come in the form of a she-devil with an affinity for the color pink?"
"Perhaps."
"I see."
Uraraka chips another hole in a can. "How was last night? She only told me she walked in on you cuddling, but..." Her voice trails off with a lilt that Hanta clearly reads as teasing.
"We just ended up that way. Seriously, I have no clue how we got like that, but-"
Hanta grunts as he hits the pan again.
"But?"
He lowers the bandana and grins at his friend. "I'm definitely not complaining. Kinda sucks that we didn't talk about it, though."
Uraraka shrugs, and reaches for a new can. "That's just like Todoroki, though. He's not one for chatter, but he seems to like talking to you a bit. It even seems like you have the same taste in music." The girl grins at him, and Hanta rubs the back of his neck.
"Guilty as charged. I didn't expect him to go for it, though." Hanta raises his bandana again and reaches for a new pan. "I'm telling you this in pure confidence, even if Mina is definitely going to find out. You don't seem like the type to hide things from Asui."
"Guilty as charged."
Hanta lets out a sigh that comes out more as a haaa, and hikes the axe up. "I would one hundred percent let that boy ruin my life, and thank him for it. If he asked for anything I would probably give it to him, no questions asked. He needs my heart? Bam, his. He needs a new leg?" Hanta leers in the direction of Uraraka. "I know exactly where to find one."
Clang!
Uraraka laughs, and pretends to clutch at her heart. "After everything we've been through? You would leave me for Todoroki?"
"I'd sell you to Satan for one corn chip."
"I knew it." Uraraka sneers at him, but it breaks easily as they laugh together. "Seriously, though. I know Todoroki isn't straight. We knew each other before everything too, just like you and your group. We weren't exactly close, but I knew Todoroki enough for him to trust me when everything went wrong. Then again, we both didn't know who to trust when it went wrong."
Hanta listens to her silently as she speaks, putting his cookie sheet massacre on hold. He pushes the goggles up and the bandana down.
"I knew that he didn't have the best home life, no matter what the public says. I can tell you his father was a policeman, but there were a lot of rumor's going around. Todoroki never said anything about it, not until about a month after we found Iida and Midoriya. Some of the things he said..." Uraraka trails off, the can in her hand lowering to her lap. "It's not my place, but I'll let you know that whatever you're doing, you're doing it well. He's opening up to you. Heck, it's been a week and you slept in the same bed, he didn't let us sleep within ten feet of him before!"
Uraraka's cheeks flush. She's passionate about this, Hanta can tell, and he respects that. He nods, and lowers his axe. "I hope I'm doing well. It's all anyone can ever do now, I guess. And by the way, there's no more 'your group, our group' crap. We're all a group now. Sorry, you're stuck with us." Hanta smiles at Uraraka, who grins back.
"I like the sound of that. Think you can convince Bakugou?"
"Katsuki is still in denial that he's the mom friend, I highly doubt he's going to clue in soon. Whatever, at least Kirishima is up to date."
The pair share a chuckle, and the sliding door to the house opens behind Uraraka. It's Todoroki, and he's holding two water bottles. Hanta grins at him and ignores the way his heart does a happy little flip.
"Hey."
"Hello. Did you want something to drink? It's hot in the sun."
Hanta nods, and grunts as he drives the axe into the stump. "Sure. You could stay out here for a bit, you know. Enjoy the sun." Hanta isn't begging to see the sunlight gleam on Todoroki's hair. No way. And definitely not hoping that Todoroki wants to spend time with him. Nah, that's not it.
Todoroki looks slightly surprised, like he didn't think he would get invited, but it melts away into a small smile that warms Hanta more than the sun could. "Alright. Maybe for a little bit."
He steps off of the porch and into the sun, and yep Hanta was right, he's beautiful. Hanta takes the offered water bottle and Uraraka cracks her own. they both sip them, and let out twin sighs. The sun is warm, and Hanta feels like he's sweating buckets. Hopefully he's not too gross, he muses, and rubs the back of his neck. Hanta glances at Todoroki, and finds the boy already looking at him. This time, neither of them look away. Todoroki smiles first, and Hanta can feel his cheeks glow.
He really was right. Slight dimples, straight teeth. His blue and grey eyes glitter and Hanta finds himself a willing victim to the endless pools. He's not flushed, but there must be a slight sunburn along his cheeks. Hanta traces the line of his scar with his eyes, and almost wants to brush his hair back so he can see more. Hanta grins softly, cheeks aching from how much he's done that these past few days, and holds the warm feeling in his chest closer. Todoroki keeps looking at him and he wants to cry, it's so soft
Hanta has to look away, for fear of actually losing himself, and instead meets the eye of Uraraka. She's smiling as well, and the look on her face is happy. It's enough for Hanta to burn this moment into his memory, forever hoping that sunlight will remind him of the way Todoroki saw Hanta like he hung the stars. Hanta huffs out a small laugh, and tilts his head back towards the sky.
---
Hanta and Todoroki set up the cans around the fence. They end up taking care of a few lurkers that were brought out of the woods; there's less food in the cities now, Hanta muses, so they must be wandering. He almost feels bad, but then remembers that he's actually the food in this situation. Todoroki shoves a limp lurker off the fence, and strings the cans around the pole. The fence is decently sturdy and if he stepped on it, would hold his weight, but it barely reaches his chest and has a space where a sneaky lurker can slip through. The cans are to let them know, and hopefully take care of it before it gets too close to the house.
Hanta leans against the fence as Todoroki ties the twine. He can see Uraraka up on the porch, a decent distance away, and her girlfriend beside her. Denki and Iida are helping Midoriya haul some firewood out from the trees, their laughter an echo across the grass. Mina is on berry duty, and Bakugou is trailing behind her as protection as she leans headfirst into a bush. He looks bored, but alert. Hanta doesn't know where Kirishima is, but the sound of wood splitting gives him an idea. Hanta doesn't realize he's softly smiling; he's been doing that a lot lately, he thinks, and reaches up to hold his necklace. His cheeks vaguely ache.
"Sero, I think we're done." Todoroki stands up, and brushes his knees off. Hanta looks around him, and sees that they've covered the entire back fence with the cans and other various metals. "What should we do now?"
We, Hanta screams inwardly. "Um, let's go and see what we can do inside. If we're staying here for a little, we're gonna wanna explore our options outside for supplies. Maybe there's a grounds map somewhere."
"Grounds map?"
"Yeah, like something that we can see the surrounding properties in. It normally shows who owns them and sometimes what kind of land it is." Hanta and Todoroki walk side by side, and Hanta steps forward to open the door for him. Todoroki's lip ticks up and he slides past, and Hanta follows. The house is cooler inside. "I'll snoop around the kitchen and see. Coming?"
Todoroki nods. "Sure."
Together, they open drawers and peek in the closets. Todoroki heads upstairs to check the linen closet again, and Hanta finds a few bottles of amber liquid. He swirls it, and eyes the pirate man on the front label. He sets it back under the sink, and grabs a stool to check above the fridge. He doesn't open it; Katsuki had cleaned it out after months without power, and even without an active culprit, it isn't the most lovely kind of scent.
Hanta grunts, and hauls himself up on the stool. Luckily they aren't the spinning kind, so he just has to balance himself a bit. He palms his way up the fridge, and makes eye contact with the cabinet. "Alrighty then."
He swings it open, and a bit of dust flies, but other than that, it seems mostly empty-
There's something at the back. A pamphlet. Hanta grins. Jackpot.
"Todoroki! I found it!"
Hanta leans into the cabinet, one arm bracing on the fridge and the other reaching. There's dust wiped away where someone had previously gone through here, and dustbunnies that make Hanta sneeze. He regrets it when more dust flies and his eyes water. It's so dusty. He fights against the rising panic in his chest, forcing probing thoughts away from his mind.
It was dusty in the attic, too-
Steps echo closer to him, and suddenly Todoroki's voice is right there, cutting through the upset in his head.
"Can you reach it?"
"Almost..." Hanta groans, and rocks up on his toes on the stool. It wobbles, and he gasps, but a strong hand wraps around his shin and the stool is steadied. Dust flies around his face, and he fights to keep his voice even. "Please don't let me fall, I'm almost there."
Todoroki doesn't say a word, but Hanta can imagine him nodding pensively. His fingertips brush the corner, and more dust dust dust is smeared across his chest. He's a third of the way inside this stupidly deep cabinet when his fingernail catches the corner. Todoroki's hand shifts to just above his knee and Hanta gasps. He inhales a bunch of dust, and hooks the pamphlet before he's thrown into a coughing fit, standing three feet above his normal height and praying that when he lands, it's not headfirst on the island.
"Sero!" Todoroki pulls on his leg, and Hanta blindly reaches out for him. His mouth is dry, and all he can taste is something burning burning burning it's BURNING-
A hand catches his, and Hanta feels himself being brought down closer to the ground. That's better, the ground is stable. It isn't caving in. "Easy, easy, drink this."
A bottle is pressed into his free hand - when did he drop the pamphlet? - and Hanta nearly chokes again sipping the water. His eyes are watery and he blinks tears away to see the concerned look on Todoroki's face. He hacks again, but this time his lungs don't feel like they're making a run for it. His heart doesn't want to calm down, and anxiety trickles at the sides of his head like a physical thing. Hanta drinks a deeper sip, and inhales deeply.
"Jesus," he croaks, hand still clasped in Todoroki's, "All that work for a measly map."
Todoroki huffs, and his hand squeezes Hanta's. "A measly map that might help us survive."
Hanta clears his throat and nods, setting the bottle of water down. Where the hell did Todoroki find it? This guy is full of surprises. Hanta can feel the dust on his arms and chest, and knows that his hand is probably brown with it. It leaves a handprint on the bottle, and Hanta looks back at Todoroki. He's lost the highly concerned look, and is now just furrowing his brows in a way that makes Hanta warm and fuzzy. Hanta narrows his eyes. "Ah, you've got something..."
He reaches towards Todoroki's face, and doesn't miss the wary look he gets in return. He moves slow, though, and as soon as Todoroki relaxes, Hanta runs his thumb across his upper lip, just under his noes. It leaves a streak that looks like a really bad fake stache, and Hanta snorts. "Got it," he manages between wheezes, "If I'm gonna get dusty, then so are you, menta."
Todoroki screws up his nose and Hanta laughs again. He doesn't wipe at his face, though, just looks confused as he touches his lip. He swipes at his mouth a bit, and no Hanta's gaze does not waver down, no sir. Todoroki laughs softly and smiles when his hand comes away mostly clean. Hanta forces himself not to startle when those fingers squeeze around his own moomentarily. "Menta?"
Hanta nods, thoroughly enjoying Todoroki missing almost all of the dust and just smearing it. He doesn't feel bad; he looks ridiculous. "Ah, loosely means mint in Spanish. Your hair looks a bit like a candy cane, you know." Hanta steps into his space a bit, just enough to hear Todoroki inhale when Hanta reaches back up. "Hold still, silly. Aha, you looked so funny, but no offense, a mustache isn't for you. I do like the hair though."
Todoroki is deathly still as Hanta wipes across his face with the back of his hand. It doesn't escape his mind that they're still holding hands. At least his have stopped trembling by now. Todoroki's fingers twitch where they're loosely laced with Hanta's, and Hanta refuses to make direct eye contact as he rubs away the last of the dust. He fights the urge to pretend there's still some left, lest he drop his hand from his face. It's rough, and Hanta loves the sensation. "There we go. Nice and clean, but I'm telling you right now, you need to shave."
Hanta's gaze on Todoroki's mouth backfires when it picks up into a grin, wider than anything Hanta has seen on the other before. It's blinding, this close, and Hanta glances up to see Todoroki's eyes closed, head tilted down just the slightest as he chuckles. Hanta feels like he's been sucker punched and someone's sucked all the air out of the kitchen. Dust flies in the light between them, in the little space where Hanta is still standing so close. A step further, and he would back Todoroki into the island-
"Of course you would say that. Maybe I will, but not right now."
"No?"
"No." Todoroki's voice has dropped, nearly a husky whisper, and his gaze flicks between Hanta's as though he's looking for something. Jesus, he's so fucking pretty, Hanta groans inside, and suddenly that intimacy he felt last night has returned. Todoroki's hand on his, the heat between their chests. Hanta is a shy inch taller, but as Todoroki tilts his head back just the tiniest bit, Hanta wants to close the distance completely. The feeling of scruff is still hot on his fingertips and he has to wonder what it would feel like against his own. He's aching, and he can't stop the fast look he shoots at Todoroki's lips. They look soft and bitten, and they part just as Hanta looks back up. He finds himself leaning, wanting to rock on his toes, and reaches the hand not clasped in the other boys' up-
Slam!
"Honey, I'm home!"
Todoroki and Hanta jump apart. Hanta can hear his heartbeat in his ears as he scrambles for the dropped pamphlet, and Todoroki decides that the tacky wine aunt decal on the side of the fridge is very interesting. Hanta sucks a shaky breath in just as Denki bounds into the kitchen, yellow hair wild and a teeny stick poking out as he drops an armful of logs next to the wood stove. He sends a strange look at Hanta, who waves him on.
"Just choked a little on dust, dude. I'm fine." Denki hesitates, glancing up at the cupboard with concerned eyes. He narrows them at Hanta, who smiles placatingly, and seems to buy it for the most part, leaves the kitchen with a flourish that only Kaminari Denki has. Hanta just knows his cheeks are on fire; his heart is going wild for better reasons now, and he can't help but glance at Todoroki.
The boy is already looking at Hanta, and a moment of silence passes before they break down into soft giggles. Hanta's head is bent, and when he shakes, he can feel the softer tuffs of Todoroki's hair against his forehead. That was ridiculous, and Hanta cannot believe they were interrupted by Denki of all people. What would have happened if they weren't? Hanta feels a thrill of something creep up his spine. What if Denki hadn't come in? What if they were alone for that second longer? Would he have kissed Todoroki? Would Todoroki have kissed him? Hanta feels giddy, and the laughter dies down into something quiet and light.
Ah well. He supposes he can ache a little longer.
---
The pamphlet had a decent sized map of the area, which was surprising for a place nowhere close to a city. Hanta had spread it over the island counter, and was marking little notations with a pencil. he had found the property they were on, and was scratching his head over the distance between here and another house when Uraraka and Asui came in. The brunette's leg had been healing beautifully, and she's been walking better since Hanta stitched it. If anything, he should be able to take them out tomorrow or the day after.
"What did you find?" Uraraka slides into a stool beside Hanta. Todorolo is bumbling around the kitchen, looking like he's not sure what to do but doesn't wanna leave the area. It's endearing, and Hanta tilts his head at Uraraka in acknowledgement.
"It's a map of the area. If we're staying here, then the least we can do is find out if it's worth it." Hanta gently swoops his pencil across the map and circles a rest stop that seems closer than anything else. "It looks like there's a small town a little north of here, that could be where the rest stop is heading. We can bring it up later tonight, because it could work out that there's something in the town to help us."
Asui side eyes Hanta. "Or someone? Finding people could be a better plan. Safety in numbers, you know?"
-gleaming eyes, gleaming knife-
-someone is crying-
-it's so dry-
"Yeah, or someone." Hanta forces the words past his lips and continues measuring the distance on the map. They snap out harsher than he wanted, a tone so unlike anything that's left his mouth before, and it draws a heady silence over the kitchen. Todoroki stops whatever he's doing behind Hanta, and Uraraka lifts her gaze from the paper. Hanta glances up, noticing; he tries for a smile, which comes up short according to the scrunch of Uraraka's brow, and sets the pencil down. "The main focus right now is gas, and I'm sure Bakugou would agree with me. We found food in the cellar, Mina should have some kind of forage, and we still have what we brought with us. Transportation is just the main issue, and that's really the only thing stopping us."
"Sero..."
Hanta tenses his jaw just for a second and inhales. All he can smell is dust, dust, dust. "I don't want to talk about it. Thanks, though... sorry, I just gotta-"
He pushes away from the table and doesn't look at Todoroki as he walks by, his boots the only sound in the kitchen. He passes Kirishima on his way upstairs, who frowns with a knowing look and steps into his path. He reaches out, but Hanta just shakes his head, and points up at the room. Kirishima doesn't touch him, and lets him pass with a nod. Hanta takes the steps two at a time, and locks the bedroom door as soon as it clicks closed. He presses his back against it, and slides down until he's sitting on the floor. The window is directly across from him, and brightens the entire room. It's quiet, though, and clean and it smells less like dust than that fucking attic did. For only sleeping in it for a few nights, it smells faintly of wood smoke, which is Todoroki, and the slightest hint of barley, which he's come to realize is somehow him. Maybe it's the clothes.
Hanta rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, spots dancing through the darkness, and when he breathes in again, his shoulders shake. Panic wells in his chest and it hurts to breathe now, but all he can hear is that stupid voice, eerily calm and teasing and deluded. He doesn't want to feel bad for himself, he doesn't. He knew that trusting so early on was a bad idea, they had barely spent a month on their own and suddenly they thought they knew what was best. Again, just like earlier, anxiety pools cool and fingerlike around the sides of his skull when he sits up, feeling like there really is hands there. He knows its stupid, but fuck, it feels real.
If that stupid band of ex-convicts hadn't found them... Who was Hanta to know that they were beside a secluded rehabilitation treatment center? Secluded being the focus here; nobody other than the ones who escaped from it knew it existed. They hadn't said how exactly they got out, but they did. Not all of them were bad, out of the seven, Hanta had to say the quiet and tall man in the trenchcoat was the nicest. Funny, seeing as he never once voiced an opinion other than: "Don't you think that's enough now?"
Hanta's eyes burn, and he wipes at them again. He remembers the heat, the stifling dust. He's honestly surprised he spent that much time getting the map out, but then again Todoroki was there, and that boy has no place in that nightmare.
His head thunks against the door, and Hanta forces all the air from his lungs. In for seven, hold for four, out for eight. Repeat.
Hanta can hear footsteps on the staircase, but nobody knocks on the door. Something slams downstairs. Katsuki's voice rings out, unintelligible but comforting. Hanta's skin crawls and he fights the urge to rip off his gloves. He doesn't want to see his hands. He doesn't want to see his hands, but his skin is crawling and he doesn't want anything on him. It's so much, but the urge to not see the mangled skin wins out, and the leather stays.
A whimper claws its way out of his throat, and Hanta resumes his breath counting again. The window sits in front of him, and Hanta stares at the gleam of the sun until his eyes burn for different reasons.
---
Dinner is a quiet affair. Bakugou and Kirishima move around the kitchen preparing something. Hanta isn't hungry anyways. The cards are back out, but the game is a lot more subdued than the first time. Todoroki's elbow brushes Hanta's when he picks up another card, and it's grounding Hanta to this plane of reality. Kirishima must have said something to Bakugou, because the blond is also quieter. He isn't obvious with the check-up glances, but Hanta has been around them both long enough to see it. Uraraka keeps sending him worried looks as well, and Asui has a strange aura of guilt around her, but Hanta sips the lukewarm tea that was placed in front of him and doesn't really see anything at all.
He always feels like this to some degree after an episode; the severity depends on the content that set him off. Sometimes it's good old panic, sometimes it's remembering something from his childhood days, and sometimes it's the attic. Dissociation is a powerful thing; time feels fake and nothing is real. It's like playing a third person game, except you can swear you've already played this game before but you can't exactly remember, but you've done this before. You did. You swear.
Yeah. It's kinda like that.
Hanta blinks as a way to bring himself back but he doesn't really know where the thought came from. He can smell Todoroki beside him and can hear something sizzling over a pan. He's got a playing card in his hand; it's yellow, and there's the number three on it. Hanta doesn't remember where it came from. That's fine. Todoroki brushes against him again. Bakugou says something to Eijirou. Mina laughs at Asui's joke. Hanta runs his fingertip down the side of the card. Iida is talking to Midoriya, and Todoroki wraps a large hand around his elbow-
Hanta blinks. Todoroki doesn't say anything, nor does he look at Hanta. His hand is pale compared to Hanta's skin and warm and big. Hanta feels even more grounded. Hanta studies the callouses on Todoroki's fingers. One of them strokes over the inside of his elbow. it's nice. Hanta slowly becomes more aware of the kitchen; more voices filter in at once. He can feel the card and Todoroki's hand, and vibrations through the counter. Hanta sighs, and leans just a tiny bit more into Todoroki's space. Todoroki must not mind, because he leans a little back so their shoulders are touching. It's nice. it's warm. Hanta remembers moving and wanting to move. He tries to gather more information, just to see if he can.
It's the boys left hand around his left elbow. Todoroki's right shoulder is pressed against Hanta's left, and Uraraka has lost the scrunch to her brow at least a little. Kirishima sends him a smile when Hanta catches his eye, and Hanta manages one back. Todoroki's hand doesn't move away.
They're close enough that Hanta doesn't need to look at Todoroki to see his face; the view out of the corner of his eye is enough. Hanta's skin burns under Todoroki's palm and it's so good. The smile dancing on the boys lips is even better. Hanta relaxes, not fully aware but a hell of a lot more than when he first stepped into the kitchen. He feels better, safer, less off the rails and floaty.
Todoroki doesn't speak. He doesn't need to, and Hanta really wants to understand what mindreading abilities this boy has to understand him so well even when he's useless like this. Katsuki sets a pan full of roasted vegetables and rice down on the table, a mixture stir fry that smells amazing, and Hanta is shocked when he feels somewhat hungry. Todoroki slides a fork closer to Hanta's hand, and Hanta stares in wonder as he picks it up. Todoroki nods at him, and Hanta sighs.
Yeah. This isn't the best, but he would much rather he coaxed out than left to rot.