Chapter 4
The distance and plan to find a source of gas is to be discussed the next morning. Something must be felt in the air, because nobody protests when people start trickling off to bed. Maybe it's the bags under Hanta's eyes or the way Midoriya keeps yawning with every second word. Hanta was mostly back in his body by the time Todoroki nudged him, and they headed upstairs. Hanta doesn't remember much beyond slipping his belt and knife off before faceplanting on the bed and passing out, but he's glad that it was to tiredness instead of dissociation. When he woke, his boots were neatly lined up by the door beside Todoroki's.
Hanta was halfway through his cup of steaming tea when Todoroki stumbled in; Kirishima had heated the water in a pot, swearing up and down that he would find a tea kettle. Hanta can hear him and Katsuki in the living room. Mina is sitting across from Hanta, nursing her own mug. The steam rising into his face is welcome in the slight chill of the kitchen. Fall is coming fast.
He feels rather than hears Todoroki sit on his right; the boy is a human furnace, and seems to radiate heat like crazy. He makes for a stellar cuddle buddy, though, and Hanta huffs a soft laugh as his red and white head bobs in place. He looks half asleep where he sits, but makes no move for Hanta's cup.
"You could have stayed in bed, you know."
Todoroki shrugs, and clasps his hands on the table. Hanta is drawn to those callouses that brushed his skin just hours ago. That should not sound as horny as it does, dios mío, but it's a truth that Hanta can't believe exists. He can only imagine what those hands would feel like in different situations-
"I guess, but you're down here, so I didn't see the point." Todoroki yawns, and Hanta gently pushes the tea over to him.
"I was quiet for a reason, menta." Todoroki shrugs with one shoulder, and sips the tea with closed eyes. The sunlight spreads over the island table, yellow-orange coasting across granite white, and Mina yawns into her tea. Uraraka and Asui trickle into the kitchen, Midoriya right behind them. They speak in hushed tones, and he respects it. Hanta picks idly at his gloves. Everything seems a different kind of serene, and even as Bakugou and Kirishima walk in, it isn't disturbed. Katsuki grabs a mug and dips it in the pot on the stove; it's still steaming but he doesn't wait to sip from it.
"Someone should go around the fence and check on it," Bakugou says, slouched against the countertop. He's looking out of the kitchen window. "I can see a couple fuckers getting close. Must just be wandering."
Kirishima sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "It's to be expected. Even this far out of the cities, they're running out of food so there's no reason for them to stay."
A cup clinks. Hanta gets passed his cup back and he has to wonder when sharing his drinks with Todoroki became a normal thing. "We should get everyone else up." Hanta sips the cooling tea. "And by everyone, I mean Denki. Where did that map end up?"
Mina peels off to go fetch the blond, and Kirishima spreads an annotated map on the island. Hanta's brain is less foggy the longer he looks at it, and he sits up and leans on his elbows to get a better view. Todoroki does the same, and soon there's a small crowd gathered around the paper.
Hanta reaches out, "Okay. We're here, and this is the surrounding area. It goes to about seventy kilometers north and give-or-take thirty south." The house isn't in the middle of the map, but they got lucky enough that there's something other than countryside. "The river goes through here-"
"-Oh, yeah. Katsuki and I saw it while getting berries and stuff. Kind of deep, but it's got steady banks and flow." Mina taps the scraggly blue line with her finger. "If we're lucky, we can set up traps and see if it's good for anything other than looking pretty."
Iida nods beside her. Hanta didn't see him come in, but if the arm Denki has slung around his shoulders says anything... "It could freeze as temperatures drop, but if the movement is constant enough, we might be able to keep it flowing during the winter."
"Good. Okay," Hanta drags his finger up beside a thin pencil line. "This looks like the fastest trail to the rest stop, here. This is only on paper, though, and we have no clue what could have changed."
"Would it be worth it then?" Uraraka looks a little nervous despite having no plans. "What if it's just a bust?"
Katsuki crosses his arms and growls, "Then it's a fucking bust, Pink Cheeks. We regroup, and move on."
Hanta eyes both of them, and then turns his attention back to the map. "We could send a group of three or four. Then at least there would be a support system, and it would be faster than having all of us go and safer than only two. This is only what I'm thinking, of course. If anyone has anything then just put it out there." Hanta laughs nervously and rubs the back of his neck. He didn't really mean to be making a plan by himself, but nobody else has said anything different. "I'm just talking out of my ass."
Todoroki hums beside him. "Four. If someone ends up injured, then there's two for transport and one for protection. Uh, worst case scenario, of course." He reaches out and taps on the rest stop. "We go here first. Sero figured that it was just over a day there and back, so if four leave before sunrise, we would be back just after dusk." Todoroki side eyes Hanta with a grin in his eyes. "Best case scenario."
Hanta grins back and feels oddly happy that Todoroki just built off his plan. He nearly misses Katsuki speaking.
"Then who's fucking going? Pink Cheeks, sit your ass down."
Uraraka scowls, but Asui puts a soft hand on hers. "Babe, he's right. You're still injured and we don't want to make it worse. Besides," the girl looks over the map and then around the group with a firm but kind look to her eyes, "There's gonna be more runs."
Hanta tightens his jaw. "I'll go. I'm fast and if it goes south, we can get out even faster."
"Me too." Todoroki barely lets Hanta's words hang over the granite before he volunteers. He looks around like someone is going to tell him no. Hanta smiles inwardly. Your hand is showing, menta.
"We can't let them have all the fun," Mina sighs. There's a smile on her face and it touches in her voice through her seriousness. "Count me in."
Silence falls over the table. Kirishima and Katsuki seem to be having a silent argument with their eyes. Denki looks nervous, and Hanta can't blame him; the blond doesn't like runs. Uraraka slouches, a little defeated, and Iida cleans his glasses.
"I'll go!"
Midoriya has his hand up, looking determined and more focused than Hanta ever feels. There's no protests, and both Kirishima and Bakugou seem to relax at the outburst. They're still glaring at each other, though, and Hanta almost snorts. What a married couple.
"Then it's final. We'll pack up today, and then tomorrow morning Sero, Ashido, and Midoriya and I will head out."
Well, Hanta muses as Todoroki pretty much dismisses the group and then turns to face him with a small smile. Todoroki is already looking at him and getting ready to go back upstairs. The cup is in his hand, ready to be refilled before they do. Are we really any better?
---
Hanta grunts as he pulls the fire poker stick from a lurkers head. It was caught on the fence, rattling the cans at it's stomach and causing quite the ruckus. The sound was drawing more lurkers, but at least it made it easier to deal with. The long pole had a sharpened hook that they broke off, and is now the perfect wham-bam-thank you ma'am lurker killer. Midoriya grunts beside Hanta, armed with his own broken metal stick. Hanta has never really been around Midoriya long, at least not alone, but the boy seems super nice and hella enthusiastic. Good vibes all around, regardless.
"So, you and Todoroki, huh?"
Hanta nearly misses his shot. "W-What?"
Midoriya laughs, but it's good-natured. "You know what I'm talking about. I've kinda been watching and I'm good at things like this. So...?"
Hanta sighs, and shakes his head with a smile. "You and Uraraka, I swear." Hanta nails a lurker between the eyes and it falls limp over the fence. "He's, uh. He's nice, you know?"
"Jeez, you're almost worse than Kacchan and his boyfriend!"
Hanta chokes on nothing and wheezes, bending over to lean on his knees. Midoriya startles, and looks momentarily concerned. "What? What's wrong?"
"Ahaha, Blasty and Kirishima? Married, but they don't know it yet. I've been trying to get Bakugou to admit it for months, but it's a work in progress." Hanta wipes away a tear, probably leaving a streak of blood on his cheek that slipped down the handle of the poker. "Don't let him know you know, he'll clam up again."
Hanta pushes a body off the fence, and with a glance around to confirm there's no incoming lurkers, he crouches to fix the can line. "What's the history between you and him anyways? You seem to know each other. Ex-boyfriends?"
It's Midoriya's turn to choke, and Hanta looks on smugly as a look of disgust crosses his face. "Oh god, no. Never, uh, we were just childhood friends. Um. It's not really important, just some old fueds and Kacchan holds grudges like no other, so..."
Hanta hums, and secures the can line back on the pole. He's glad he deterred the conversation-
"So back to Todoroki-"
"-Dios mío, here we go again."
---
Hanta and Midoriya walk back into the house after washing their hands off. Hanta waits until Midoriya isn't looking to rinse out his gloves; they're wet, but the strange fabric that isn't quite leather but also isn't just fabric dries quickly. He shakes them out, and watches as the sun gets closer to the tree line. His shoulders are aching; they spent the better part of the day clearing out lurkers and hauling them down to a growing pile. The plan is to set fire to it tomorrow.
The air has taken on a chill that comes with fall. It's nice, even if it cuts through Hanta's shirt like butter, and teases the apples of his cheeks when he gets closer to the house. He shoves his hands in his pockets, damp gloves hooked on his belt loop, and sneaks through the living room. He smirks at the sleeping form of Katsuki, curled up against a drowsy Kirishima who's reading some green-spined book. Kirishima flushes, but Hanta just waves him down as he passes by and peeks his head into the kitchen.
"Where's Todoroki?" Uraraka looks up from the counter. She's got a knife in her hand, and is cutting up some- what are those, peaches? Mina is munching down on her own peach slice, sharing a plate with Asui and Iida.
"Ah, Sero! He went upstairs a few minutes ago, but bring these up with you!" Uraraka hands Hanta a bowl, brimming with peach slices and two toothpicks stabbed into the top. He barely has a chance to worry that his hands are out in the open lest he drop the bowl. "Eat, and then go to bed, okay? You guys have a long day ahead of you."
Hanta blinks, but keeps it in his grip at Uraraka's smile. "Uh, thanks? Goodnight, guys."
"Night!"
Hanta turns around and heads up the stairs, wincing when his boots make the wood creak and praying that he didn't wake Bakugou up. The door to the bedroom is closed, so Hanta raps lightly with his knuckles. Todoroki says an affirmative from inside, so Hanta opens the door.
The boy is sitting on the bed, nose stuck in a book that looks similar to the one Kirishima had. The flashlight is on beside him, and pointed at the ceiling so the light spreads around the entire room. "Hey, Uraraka said you were up here. Whatcha reading?"
Todoroki hums, but doesn't look up at Hanta. "It's a playwright, Shakespeare, if I'm not mistaken."
Hanta urges the bowl of peaches towards the boy, and only then does he look up. Todoroki takes the peaches, eyes lighting up, and he sets the book down so Hanta can see the pages.
"English?"
"Yes. Ah, my father taught me how to read it from a young age. These are good." Todoroki bites a peach slice just as Hanta slides his belt off. Hanta doesn't see his gloves falling on the floor beside his boots. He kneels on the bed, and shucks the covers back so he can crawl under. "It's a tragedy, of course. Kind of fitting, don't you think?"
Hanta huffs in amusement, and steals a peach out of the bowl. Just as he reaches, he can see the exact moment Todoroki's eyes land on his hands. Hanta stiffens, and slowly withdraws his hand, peachless.
Todoroki's hand snaps up, and gently closes around his wrist. Hanta feels the anxiety rise in his stomach and he doesn't know why he's letting Todoroki turn his hand, lets him reach for the other one, lets him really look at the lines crossing his fingers. It's not nice scarring, but it's healed up and flexible due to being on his hands. They cross over his knuckles and down the backs of his hand, and Todoroki hovers with a finger overtop. The worst of all is the bitemark on his left hand, one that cut deep enough to scar. He doesn't touch, but Hanta swears that if he asked he would let him.
"Sero..." Hanta closes his eyes, and feels Todoroki tug him a little closer. His touch is still so, so gentle. "What are these? Who did this?"
He can feel his resolve crumbling with every shaken word that leaves Todoroki's mouth, "Just some old scars, they don't hurt or anything-"
"Hanta."
Hanta startles, and meets Todoroki's gaze. It sucks the air out of him, the way that heterochromic eyes are shining with unshed tears for him because anyone who knows anything these last few months knows that these kind of scars aren't from just clumsy knife handling or scrapes; these are torture. The bite is even more foreboding, even if it wasn't by a lurker. Hanta wants to crawl away, almost does, but as Todoroki whispers his name again like an apology and loosens his grip, Hanta sighs, and tightens his own.
"It was towards the start of everything. It was just us, for about a month or two, and then we ended up linking with this group we came across in the forest. They had a house there, like a cottage home. It was nice, and even in the first week, we felt welcomed and safe." Hanta trembles, and Todoroki's grip tightens. "We, ah, we went on this run and ended up coming back with two survivors. Denki knew one of them from school, his name is- was, uh, Shinsou. The other was Jirou. Anyways, one of the groups members was with us and nothing bad happened. We kept moving, got our supplies, and headed back."
Hanta breathes, and swallows. He feels like he's floating again. Without really thinking about it, he shuffles closer to Todoroki, who takes the liberty of wrapping an arm around his shoulders and bringing him closer. They lean against the headboard, and Hanta lays his head on Todoroki's shoulder. The peaches lay forgotten, and Todoroki keeps holding his hand.
"We got back to the house. We went inside, and Shinsou was last, but as soon as the door shut... I think I got hit over the head, but all I remember was a lot of yelling and someone screaming. The next thing I knew, we were tied up in the attic by our hands. The rafters were too high and spaced for us to get to each other. We were so stupid," Hanta spits out, "Trusting that early in? We were naive, and it nearly got us killed. I don't know how long exactly we were up there, but I remember the dust, and the stench and the sweat. They were trying to get answers about some underground police station from us. Apparently Shinsou was the kid of the police officer that put that group into a nearby mental hospital, and they knew that. Try as you might, some information just isn't possible to hide."
Todoroki pulls Hanta in further. His arm slides around Hanta's chest, and his hand is a hot brand of heat and grounding that Hanta welcomes. "I didn't want them to touch anybody. We didn't know anything, and Shinsou's father smartly didn't involve him in his work, but they still went after him. That got to Denki, of course, and I couldn't let them touch my family so I made them take me instead." Hanta shudders and his voice hitches, a sob gathering in his throat at the mere thought of that attic. Todoroki hums behind him, a smooth baritone that soothes Hanta's mind like a balm.
"Hanta, you don't-"
"It's okay. It's okay, I just..." Hanta inhales and rubs his thumb over Todoroki's skin. "It's okay. I want you to know."
Todoroki settles back down, and Hanta is obsessed with the way he holds him.
"The leader, I guess, was obsessed with hands. He, uh, threatened to cut mine off for my meddling, but obviously he didn't." Hanta chuckles without humor. "Most of the scars on there are from him. At one point, it seemed like they didn't even care about getting revenge. It was all about the power they had over a bunch of kids, and the sick satisfaction they got from hurting us. The ones on my back are from yelling when Mina was going to be taken, and Bakugou has a bad one on his stomach from taking a hit for Kirishima."
"There was a girl there, her name was Toga. She was apparently in the hospital because she killed her classmate, and she had a freaky affinity for blood. She bit me. That was the first and only time it happened, but it hurt so bad, and I was scared out of my mind. It happened so fast, but someone pulled her off before she got further. Even after everything else that happened, that was the worst thing."
Hanta inhales. This is the hardest part. "We only got out because of a random fire. I don't know if it was on purpose, to try and kill us, or if it was a stray cigarette that didn't get put out. Anyways, the floor was collapsing on itself. Somehow I got my hands free, I don't know if it was the blood or if they were just looser but I got out. I tried my best to get to everyone, but just as I undid Shinsou's hands, the floor gave out on one side and the fire was between us. Mina was unconscious, and Denki was hysterical. Kirishima was helping Mina and trying to support Bakugou and he got them out somehow. I think the side of the house was falling. I ended up pushing Denki after him, and when I looked back, I remember seeing Shinsou just standing there, a crying Jirou in his arms and he was smiling." Hanta whispers the end of his sentence. "Todoroki, he was smiling, and I never even looked back again before I jumped out. We couldn't stay, the fire was attracting lurkers and we didn't know where the other group was-"
Hanta trails off, and Todoroki says nothing. His hand is dropped, though, and Hanta's heart sinks.
Then, a strong arm wraps around his other side and Hanta is pulled back between Todoroki's legs, back to his chest. Todoroki fumbles around his waist, but as Hanta reaches for his hand, he clasps it like he never meant to let go. Todoroki buries his head in Hanta's neck, and Hanta leans back into him just enough to feel him shaking. "To-... Shouto?"
Todoroki inhales on a shudder, and Hanta's neck feels wet. He realizes belatedly that his own cheeks are damp, and he reaches up with his free hand to gently tangle his fingers in Todoroki's hair. "I'm okay, I'm alright now. Just some things get to me, but we're all safer now. I just wish that I could have saved everyone."
Silence falls over the bedroom. Hanta hiccups, and Todoroki sniffles against his back. "Do they hurt?" he croaks, and Hanta knows he's talking about his spine.
"Sometimes. Not now, though."
"You did save everyone. Even if you didn't see them, you gave them a fighting chance, Hanta. They could have died tied up in the attic, but you got to them. Everyone else, too, and you saved yourself," Todoroki mumbles into Hanta's neckline. "You did save them. You did."
Hanta nods, knowing Todoroki can feel it. "T-thank you."
it's quiet again, and then Hanta pets Todoroki's head one last time before pulling his hand back, "C'mon, menta, we have a big day tomorrow. Let's get some sleep."
"Can I-" Todoroki cuts himself off, and Hanta's waist is squeezed again. He breathes against Hanta's skin, and murmurs, "Can I keep touching you? Just so I know you're here, and not there."
Hanta wipes his cheeks, and smiles despite himself. "Yeah, of course."
They move in tandem, and Todoroki wraps an arm around Hanta's shoulders. Hanta let's himself be pulled into a firm chest, and cradled against it as Todoroki rolls slightly onto his back. Todoroki's breathing is still a little shaky, but so is Hanta's so they make the perfect pair. Hanta curls his fingers into his shirt, and feels the steady beat of the boys heart under his fingertips. It's just as soothing as the thumb rubbing into his shoulder, and Hanta feels Todoroki's hand slip under the hem of his shirt just as he drifts off.
He dreams of snow that night, and folded laundry in a woodstove home.