How I Became a Yoga Guru
Ok, I wouldn't call myself a germaphobe, but when you grow up in a restaurant, you gain a sort of "germ awareness" that you can't really get rid of. I think it serves me well, but yeah, it makes it really hard to be in certain places. Public restrooms, public parks...Ok public places in general, pools, locker rooms, and the most important of all, the one currently keeping me from having a good time...crappy motels.
"Oh my god, a weird stain!" I yelled, jumping back. "Ew, ew, and that's just in the hallway."
"Oh my god, Matsu, shut up!" Terasaka growled. He looked exhausted. We all were, but he'd driven the most out of all of us. As a group we'd decided that we needed a good night's sleep outside of the van, and we needed it soon, leading to us booking a room in the nearest place possible. And it turned out to be gross.
"The walls are dirty, I think I saw a bug, and it smells like feet-"
"I'm gonna shove my shoe in your mouth if you don't shut up." Rio said, glaring at me. It made me shiver, but suddenly, there was a more pressing issue.
"EEK!" A massive cockroach scuttled in front of us. Cockroaches are bad news in restaurants, honestly infestations of any kind are bad news, and that's been drilled into my survival instincts. I jumped back, taking cover behind Yoshida. "I wanna sleep in the van..."
"You're kind of a pussy, you know that right?" Yoshida said, shoving me off and shooting me a dirty look. That was more effective than Rio's look, and not because of the scare factor. Yoshida had been acting like I kicked his puppy, and I didn't know why. I'd compulsively thought over every interaction I'd had with him, and I couldn't see what I had done to hurt him. I felt guilty for something I wasn't sure I had done.
"Look, I don't want to contract some kind of unknown disease ok!?" I yelled, sweating nervously as my arm brushed inches away from what looked like mold. "At least let me deep clean the room. It'll only take me a few hours."
"I honestly agree." Asano said, looking almost as sick as I did. "This place is disgusting. When you said we were staying somewhere, I expected at least a little class."
"Well sorry your highnesses." Terasaka grouched. "I'm fucking tired, so we're gonna sleep in this shit hole."
"See?! See?! You know it's a shithole!" I exclaimed. "We're leaving right now-"
"SHUT UP MATSU!" Yelled most of the group. I'm not good with group confrontation, so I gave the people what they wanted. I shut up, making a mental list of all health code violations I saw. To my surprise, Asano patted me on the shoulder, looking almost sympathetic. I gratefully accepted. I was willing to take comfort from anywhere at this point.
Speaking of comfort...I instantly traveled back to my girlfriend's arms, who hugged me, patting my back sympathetically. "It's ok, we're all tired and overly emotional. I grabbed lysol wipes."
"You're a goddess." I said. There was some hope after all. That spark was quickly destroyed as I did a weird jump twirling maneuver to avoid a suspicious looking stain on the carpet, slamming into Takebayashi. Even the normally quiet nerd sent me an annoyed look.
"I wish I didn't come." I mumbled to Hara.
"What?!" She said, looking genuinely surprised. "Why? If it's because of the motel-"
"No it's not the motel." I sighed. "I don't know, I feel like I'm being pushed out of the group. Every other word someone says to me is "shut up Matsu" or "grow a pair" or something along those lines. I'm pretty sure I'm just annoying everyone."
"Hey, no you're not." Hara said. "Like I said, everyone is tired..." she trailed off as she caught Yoshida glaring at us. "Ok, I don't know what's up with him though."
"I don't either!" I hissed, making sure he couldn't hear. "We've been best friends for years! I don't understand what happened! I mean, he got a little bitchy when we got together, but I thought he was just jealous. Honestly, things got bad the day of the trip. We were hanging out gaming like old times, and halfway through..." I trailed off. "Oh god I know what happened."
"What?" Hara asked.
"Remember how I mentioned applying for that culinary school?" I asked. "Well, I got in. And I think Yoshida was the one who got the mail when it came in."
"That's amazing!" she exclaimed. "I'm so proud of you." She narrowed her eyes at Yoshida. "Do I have to hit him? He just sounds like a jealous bastard now."
I had no doubt that she would hit him if she felt like it was necessary. "No, no it's not that. I...I would have to leave. Get a dorm there. Leave you."
"Oh." Hara said quietly, before forcing a smile. "We can always skype, text, it'll be ok."
"Oh my god I don't deserve you." I said, taking her hand and squeezing it. "Yoshi's never liked change. And I know he has abandonment issues. He lives with his dad now. His mom jumped ship, and so did his older brother. I don't want to be the same way."
"You're not!" Hara said. "Aw man, now I feel like a total bitch. I'm not gonna hit him. Poor guy."
"I'd hug him, but I think he'd kill me." I said, sighing. "I dunno. I've been noticing these things for a while, ever since Itona joined the gang. He doesn't like change like I said. And just when he was finally getting used to Itona, I got together with you, and we became friends with Takebayashi, and everything. He's probably scared. I should talk to him." I started to walk forward when Hara grabbed my arm.
"Slow down there Turbo. We all need sleep. Everyone's overly emotional and tired. Nothing's gonna get solved tonight."
"I don't know if I can sleep in this place. It's so gross." I moaned, before pausing. "Oh shit, I sound like Asano."
"Excuse me?" I nearly jumped out of my skin. Asano had somehow gotten behind us, and I had no doubt that he'd been eavesdropping.
"Dude." Hara said, shooting him a glare. If anyone has balls of steel, it's Hara. She's the boldest person I know, aside from Terasaka, and his bravery comes from stupidity.
"What?" Asano said, shrugging. "You're like my own little soap opera. I'm bored, so come on, keep spilling the tea."
Hara's face changed to a disgusted expression. "You're a dick. We're not your entertainment."
Asano's face reddened slightly, his expression changing to annoyance. He turned to me. "Just when I was starting to like you. You should get better taste. You could do better than an angry bitch."
I was ready to go off, but he quickly strode away, using the others as a shield against anything I did. Clever bastard. "I'm gonna kill him in his sleep."
"It's not worth it." Hara said, shaking her head. "I'm not hurt or anything. He's just a sheltered rich bitch. He's used to living in a fancy bubble, so I'm going to revel in his discomfort." She gave me a wicked grin. "Oops, I sound kinda demented."
"No, you're just bold enough to say what everyone's thinking." I said, grinning back. "It's admirable." And then my insides went cold. Asano had slid over to Yoshida, appearing to be talking to him quietly. The rich bitch in question glanced over to me, mouth curving in a smile.
"Oh hell no." Hara said. "I refuse to like anyone who starts drama past eleven pm. He's the one getting punched."
"No, leave him." I said. "Yoshida's not gonna fall for some kind of dumb rumor." At least I hoped he wouldn't. "We don't even know what they're talking about. It could be a love confession for all we know."
Hara snorted. "Yoshida and Asano? That's my new crack ship."
I couldn't help but snicker. "If it works out, I'll give you my life's savings."
"I think you're safe. It's a crack ship for a reason." Hara laughed, before quieting. "We've known each other since we were kids you know."
"Huh?"
"Me and Yoshida." Hara said. "We lived next door to each other for a while. We said we were each other's "bestest friends" in first grade."
"That's adorable!" I exclaimed. "Wait, I knew you guys have known each other for a while, but I didn't know you were that close."
"Yeah, we honestly were really close." Hara said. "Um, when some of the other kids called me a piggy, Yoshida ran them over with a tricycle."
"HE WHAT?"
"Shh!" Hara said, failing to stop herself from giggling. "He went speeding by on the tricycle, hair slicked back with waaaay too much hair gel. And when the teacher said he was in trouble, he said he was a bad bitch and danger was his middle name."
"Oh my god." I was giggling too. "That's adorable."
"Yeah." Hara said, wiping tears from her eyes. "We were best friends ever since, all through grade school. We had a little tree house and everything. When his mom left, he ran away and hid in there for a week. I brought him food and biker magazines."
"This is the purest thing ever." I said, shaking my head.
"Yeah." Hara said, smile turning sad. "When his brother left in the last year of primary school, he drew into himself. He pushed me away, and I didn't know how to help him. Then my family moved a little ways away, and we fell apart. We were in each others' class a few times over the years, but we haven't really talked since this year. And honestly, I think he's mad at me. I could have done more for him."
"Ok, when we get the chance, the three of us are sitting down and having a talk." I said. "I brought a talking stick and everything."
Hara squeezed my hand again. "You're really something else, you know that right?"
"...Is that a good thing?"
"Of course it is. I just can't get over how lucky I am."
Somehow, I slept in the gross motel. I had a dream that I was drowning in mold, but aside from that, I was alright. (I sanitized my spot on the floor for an hour before hand. It was necessary.) I woke up to the sounds of a Terasaka in pain.
"NECK CRAMP!" the idiot yelled, jumping out of the bed and stepping on my leg.
"OW!"
"SORRY! AGH MY NECK!" Terasaka hopped around the room in a weird dance of pain.
"Stop! Stop!" I said, waving my hands. "Here, do this." I showed him a few neck stretches, which he did.
"OW!"
"No, no that's good! You're stretching!"
"The hell's going on?" Yoshida asked, glaring from another spot on the floor. Takebayashi was curled up like a cat in an arm chair, blinking at us sleepily, his glasses on a side table next to him. Itona burrowed further under the covers. A pillow flew across the room and smacked Terasaka in the face.
Asano shot him a spiteful glare, before pulling his satin sleep mask back over his eyes. "I refuse to deal with stupidity before nine am."
"No, we gotta get on the road. Up and at em!" I said, clapping my hands. No one moved. "Fine." I said, starting my morning routine. I knelt carefully on my patch of clean carpet, stretching into child's pose.
"What the hell are you doing?" Yoshida asked.
"Yoga." I said. "Since I'm missing my classes, I have to keep myself loose. Besides, it's good for the body and soul."
"You do yoga?" Terasaka asked incredulously. Yoshida rolled his eyes.
"If you're gonna hate then shut up." I said, pushing up into downward dog. "Or if you're smart, you can join me."
"I mean, if it gets this kink out of my back, sure." Terasaka said, doing a horrible rendition of downward dog next to me. "Itona, get over here."
Itona was obviously the most flexible of us, which made me look less than professional if I was being honest, but I wasn't giving up. "Ok! Everyone on the ground! Let's go! Time for morning stretches." Takebayashi joined us, and then to my surprise, Yoshida. Asano didn't move from his spot.
"You all look stupid."
"Ok." I said. "Tree pose! Let's go!" I stretched into the pose, watching as the others followed suit. Itona held it perfectly, as the others wobbled a little bit.
"Now you look really stupid." Asano said, smirking.
"WAAUGH!" Terasaka yelled, flailing his arms as he fell to the side, taking out a lamp and landing on Asano.
Itona smirked. "Timber."
"Look at a spot on the wall!" I said. "I told you to do that so that doesn't happen!"
"My bad." Terasaka said, going back to his wobbly tree pose. Asano looked ready to kill. However, yoga is good for calming emotions, and I was done with the tense group dynamic.
"Asano, get your ass over here and do some stretches!" I snapped. I must have sounded harsh, because Asano's eyes widened slightly, before he slunk over, standing in a pretty decent tree pose. "That's what I like to see." I said. "Alright, on the floor, criss cross applesauce. It's time for deep breathing. Terasaka, cross your legs the other way. Asano, Yoshida, no eye rolling. WE'RE GONNA BE ZEN OR ELSE!"
I can only imagine what it looked like to the girls.
"My back." Terasaka wheezed as I pushed him into a deeper stretch.
"Come on, just a little further. You really can't touch your toes?" I said. Itona had folded perfectly in half like a taco. "Nice Itona."
"Show off." Terasaka muttered, stretching forward to outdo his boyfriend.
"Have we achieved inner peace yet?" Yoshida growled, barely touching his toes. Asano and Takebayashi were doing fairly well, leaving me free to focus on Terasaka.
"Not yet." I said. "Yoshida bending your knees is cheating!"
"AGH!" There was a crunch. In the two seconds I look my eyes off of Terasaka, he had folded into the same pose as Itona. "OW!"
"Holy shit!" I said, pushing him into a sitting position. "Know your limits!"
"Hey, my back cracked!" Terasaka said, grinning. That feels way better. Maybe there's something to this yoga thing after all."
"What the hell's going on here?" Rio asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Ooh, what a great idea!" Ritsu chirped. "Yoga is a great way to start the day!"
"That's what my yoga teacher said!" I said brightly. "Ladies, you wanna join? Hazama, you know you want to."
Hazama rolled her eyes, but took a seat on the floor, grunting as she tried to stretch. "Ow. How is this a good start?"
"I think it's energizing!" Kurahashi said, sitting down next to her and stretching.
"Yeah. I love yoga." Hazama said suddenly. Rio and Hara followed suit, and even Ritsu appeared to be stretching on our phone screens. It went on like this for fifteen more minutes, stretching until finally I had them sitting, legs crossed and eyes closed, doing some deep breathing to finish off the session.
"In for three seconds, out for three seconds. If you think you can do more, in for five, out for five." Being a yoga guru apparently gave me power. "Now slowly open your eyes and get to your feet."
That part went smoothly, aside from Terasaka stumbling and whacking his head on the same lamp he'd knocked over earlier. "OW!"
"Cool. We're done." Itona said, starting to leave the circle of yoga I created.
"DON'T MOVE!" I yelled. "You can't leave yet." I clasped my hands and bowed. "Namaste."
"Is that a kind of pasta?" Terasaka asked?
"No! Namaste, not pasta!" I snapped. "Do it back." To my amazement, they obliged. "Alright, now we're done. How you guys feeling?"
"Relaxed." Yoshida said in surprise. "I thought this was gonna be a shit show."
"Don't doubt the power of yoga." I said, crossing my arms. "Alright, we ready to get back on the road?"
Of course, we couldn't keep going without snacks. I volunteered to go empty out the vending machines, and to my surprise Yoshida volunteered to come with. The walk down the hall was silent, and I couldn't help but glance at him every few seconds. I felt like I should say something. I need to say something but the words didn't come...
"Hey, for real. Sorry for giving you shit about the yoga." Yoshida said. "You're not allowed to tell anyone I did that, but it worked. I didn't know you did yoga."
"Every morning on Mondays and Wednesdays. Sometimes Saturdays if there was an opening."
"That's what you were doing?!" Yoshida exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me! All you said was improving your health so you could feel like yourself. I thought you were dealing with constipation or something!"
"WHAT?!" I yelled. "No! Technically it's still true. I don't feel like myself until I'm stretched out."
"That's weird."
"And I didn't tell you because you'd make fun of me-SEE?! LIKE THAT!"
"Oh." Yoshida said, looking surprised. "Did I go too far? My bad. I'm sorry."
Now I was staring at him. "Did you just apologize for teasing me?"
"Yeah." Yoshida said, shoving his hands in his pockets, something he did when he was embarrassed. "Sorry, I thought you knew I was just joking around. I didn't mean any of it."
"Oh." It was my turn to be surprised. "Then that's my bad. I didn't know."
"Don't worry about it." Yoshida said. "I'll work on it." He looked at me curiously. "What else don't I know about you?"
"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked.
"I mean, this was news to me." Yoshida shrugged. "Any other secret interests?"
"Nothing big." I said. "You're my best friend, I'm pretty sure you know everything about me. Well..." I trailed off, looking at the ground. "I use women's shampoo. It smells nicer."
Yoshida snorted. "For real?"
"Yeah." I said defensively. "I'd rather smell like lavender than a pine forest."
"I didn't know you were so opinionated about hair products." Yoshida snickered.
"WHAT? YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!" I yelled, shoving him playfully.
"Ok, hear me out." He said, struggling to get the words out between laughter.
For a moment in that hallway, everything felt like old times again. Everything was normal between us. We were laughing, giving each other shit, making dumb jokes, bringing up even dumber old inside ones. It felt like whatever canyon was between us had closed.
"Hey, did you go through my mail?" I don't know why I said it. I should have left it alone, we were finally getting along again.
Yoshida's face instantly changed. "Why?" he asked.
"I know you know." I said finally. I was never the type to be subtle. I preferred to handle things up front. "I know what you read."
"Are you really leaving?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the hallway in front of us.
"I mean...I don't know." I said, finally giving into the doubts I was hiding. "I want to, I really do. It's been my dream. All sorts of famous chefs have come out of that school. It's my dream, it's been my dream for years." I was rambling, but I didn't care enough to stop myself. "It's why I can't get arrested, I have to have a clean record. Going to that school is all I've ever wanted for years. It's been my parents' dream too."
"So why are you not sure?" Yoshida asked, risking a glance at me.
"I don't know." I said. "Out there is amazing...but so is right here. I'm closer with you guys, I have more friends than ever, I have Hara." I shrugged. "Why throw away a good thing when you have it? I don't know." I sighed. Honestly, it might have been easier to get pushed out of the group. That would make it less painful to say goodbye. "That's why I was so psyched for this trip. To hang out with everyone, have as much fun as possible. You know, before..."
"Before you leave." Yoshida said bitterly, face dark. "Yeah, I know."
"Yoshida-"
"No, you don't have to say anything." his voice was strained. "I'm happy for you. You did it. Good job."
"Yoshida-"
"Don't let me hold you back. Follow your dreams." He was clenching his jaw, his hands were balled into tight fists.
"Yoshida-"
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING!" Yoshida yelled, glaring at me. I thought he was going to shove me for real for a moment. "Look, you're moving on. I'm happy for you. I'm proud of you. You don't have to say anything else."
I nodded, regretting bringing anything up. "So...what are your future plans?" I am an idiot.
"I dunno." Yoshida mumbled. "I have a record, so no fancy schools for me. Probably won't even go to college. School's for ass kissers anyways. I'll just run the shop or something..."
We didn't talk the rest of the way there and back. I should have stayed in the moment. Obviously the rift between us hadn't closed at all.