Chapter III
Shortly after Dr Kenny had left her, she heard someone with determined strides come up the hall and she suspected they might’ve talked to Dr Kenny downstairs.
This someone opened the door swiftly and Anne hoped it was her aunt. It wasn’t. Anne first saw her blonde curls, and felt a tug at her heart, she was really rather pretty, and Anne wondered why she was there? How could she so casually walk in after what she had said? As Anne saw her the words came back to her, tearing through her heart slowly, ‘It’s repugnant, it’s against God, it’s queer.’ If Anne weren’t so practiced in reeling her feelings in, she might’ve sobbed at the sight of her, the ache in her heart almost surpassing the pain in her head.
Ann did look quite dishevelled though, her hair was loose and wild, her robe was open over her nightgown, and she looked as though she hadn’t slept in days. Anne blinked hard twice, why was Ann Walker in her bedroom in her nightgown and her robe? Why was she there at all? She didn’t want to… She had told Anne she couldn’t do it anymore. She had ended things between them, she had hurt her. Why was she there? Anne’s head was reeling with all the possible explanations – was Ann the one who had found her? But then why would she say that she had been thrown off a horse? It made no sense.
Anne startled when she affectionately took hold of her hand, and she pulled her hand out of her grasp, a bit harsher than she had intended. Ann looked, well, confused to say the least.
“Pony…” She began but Anne looked at her with disapproval,
“Why would you call me that?”
“What?” Ann looked genuinely puzzled, and Anne might have taken pity on her had she not been annoyed with the great pain in her head and plagued by her last words to her.
“For both of our sakes, you should probably remove yourself from my side.” Anne said well dry, and Ann tucked her curls behind her ears, and Anne could’ve sworn she saw tears brimming in the blue eyes. ‘Catherine had said she was acting a bit out of sorts’, Ann thought.
“Remove myself from your side?” She repeated raising a quizzical eyebrow and Anne rolled her eyes,
“Surely, you understand such an easy request? Hm? I’m after all unnatural and queer and you don’t want anything to do with me!”
Anne thought she saw hurt flash briefly over her face, but it was gone before she could see it properly, and besides, those were Ann’s words, and Anne was the one hurt not her.
Ann didn’t leave but sank down in the empty chair next to the bed, head in hands, dragging them over her face before looking directly into her dark upset eyes again, and with a nervous exhale she asked her,
“Why would you say such things?”
“Why would I?” Anne muttered, “You said them to me!”
Ann flinched as she yelled the last bit, and Anne regretted it immediately as it sent sharp shots of pain through her head.
“When have I ever said that to you?” Ann looked at her upset, and Anne frowned, did she seriously not remember the conversation, the falling out they had gone through three days ago?
“Three days ago! You told me that you couldn’t do this anymore and that what we did was ‘Repugnant, against God and queer’.” Anne sneered at her, and Ann’s eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open,
“Three days ago?”
“Yes, three days ago.” Anne sighed rolling her eyes, this was ridiculous, “In your drawing room. Are you seriously going to sit there and deny it?!”
Ann shook her head slowly, eying her with worry etched across her tired face,
“But that’s…”
“Are you going to deny it?”
“I did say that, and I am truly sorry that I did – but it wasn’t three days ago!?” Ann told her, earnestly and Anne closed her eyes trying to make some sense of this whole mess.
“Dr Kenny said the accident was three days ago though. Is that not correct?”
“The accident was three days ago.” Ann agreed and Anne opened her hands, looking bewildered at her,
“If that’s true then, that’s also when you said that to me.”
“What? No? Anne… that’s a long time ago!”
“No, we had that argument, you said those… words to me and I left and was attacked by a thug and somehow left unconscious.” Anne reasoned exasperated, but she didn’t anticipate that Ann would grow paler at that,
“You think that was three days ago?”
“If that’s when the accident was, then yes, that happened three days ago.” Anne was beginning to lose her temper, she wanted Ann to leave her – it hurt too much to see her sit there, casually as if… as if, Anne couldn’t let herself finish that thought – it was too painful.
“Oh, Anne!” Ann exclaimed, concern evident in her voice,
“What?! Ann just tell me already!” Anne barked, but immediately grimaced as her head was disturbed. Ann reached out to take her hand in hers, but Anne moved it out of reach, and this time the sadness and hurt were clearly visible on Ann’s face. But Anne ignored it for now, as best she could – that girl really had a hold on her that she couldn’t explain.
“The last thing you remember before waking up here is that you were attacked by that thug on Lightcliffe road?” Ann waited for confirmation and Anne sighed loudly,
“Yes, as I keep saying.”
“Oh… maybe we should call for the doctor again before I…” Ann was interrupted by Anne groaning,
“Just tell me.”
“I fear that you might have suffered some memory loss – or rather a lot.” Ann told her seriously, eying her intently, waiting for a reaction of some sort. Finally, after what felt like an eternity to Ann, Anne’s mouth opened,
“Memory loss? How… what… it’s not possible. What day is it?”
“It’s the twelfth of December.” Ann began and then she added reluctantly, “1835”.
Anne felt slightly dazed at that, she pressed her fingers to her aching head, willing the pain away so she might think clearly. Surely it wasn’t possible to lose three years’ worth of memories… not when she remembered so clearly what had happened.
“Anne? Do you need me to fetch the doctor?” Ann asked her anxiously when Anne had failed to say anything for about four minutes.
“No.” Anne cried, slowly looking up at Ann again,
“This isn’t possible.” Anne muttered to herself, and Ann’s eyebrows furrowed,
“I can get the calendar if you like?”
“Is my aunt alive?” Anne asked ignoring Ann’s question, dreading the answer but Miss Walker’s expression softened, and she replied her thus,
“Yes, she is in perfect health, or I mean as well as she can be with her legs.”
“Oh.” Anne felt much relieved, relaxing a little against the pillows before tensing again,
“1835!?”
“Yes.” Ann nodded,
“But… what am I doing here? What are you doing here?” Anne wondered, and Ann seemed uncomfortable with the queries,
“I don’t know if I am supposed to answer your questions. We’d better consult someone; it might thwart your recovery if I simply tell you everything.” Ann tried; in reality she was mostly scared of Anne’s reaction. If her memory alluded from where she said – then she was pretty upset with her, and justly so.
“Just…”
“I’d really feel much more comfortable knowing I wasn’t hurting your recovery.” Ann pressed, and she saw Anne roll her eyes, and she felt a twinge in her heart – she had really hurt Anne that time, with those words.
“Fine.” Anne muttered and Ann stood up, touching Anne’s cheek with her hand affectionately, not thinking, it was done out of habit and Ann were about to quickly withdraw her hand when Anne caught it in hers, her eyes going wide, she didn’t trust her eyes,
“Where did you get that ring!?”