GameGrl
Before we begin, I should say something.
Things haven't been going well for me. It's no secret, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm omnipotent, not perfect.
It's been nearly a sweep since this saga began, and the day of the game is nearly upon me- Upon us. Upon the twelve saviors. Upon you, dear reader. You're probably on the edge of your seat.
But today is particularly special. The day of the First Reckoning, when the game is accessed.
We are in the endgame, now, folks. My plans are coming to fruition. But let's not dawdle. Let's showcase a character that we haven't seen much of yet, one you've likely been chomping at the bit to see!
Your name is LATULA PYROPE.
Your life pretty much rules. Your three favorite things, your VIDEO GAMES, your STUNTS, and your MATESPRIT are all available in abundance, and you've fallen into a nice little routine. You wake up and message them, you get some breakfast, then you participate in your GRIND-A-DAY project.
At the beginning of the sweep, you promised your beloved GRUBTUBE subscribers that you would film one new stunt every day for the whole sweep. So far, you've been keeping up with it, thanks for the encouragement from your FRIENDS.
But after your filming session with your FOUR-WHEELED-BOARD, you can't help feel some extra energy! After all, you're an energetic gal.
You speak with 3xc3ll3nt y3t r4d1c4l d1ct1on, and your online handle is galCoolest.
What will you do.
Message your matesprit. ==>
Wow. That's a totally fuckin' radical idea! You think you'll do just that, post-haste, without fucking around with anything else at all.
--- galCoolest began trolling tragicAeons ---
GC: yo yo yo wh4t th3 fuck 1s up, bro?!
GC: ch3ck out th3 grubtub3 v1d3o 1 just post3d!
TA: >latula!
TA: >christ. i was afraid you died.
TA: >that was a serious fall. are you... okay?
TA: >i mean, i'm assuming you're okay because you're talking to me.
GC: h3ll y34h broth3r m4n. f1t 4s 4 f1ddl3! 1 m34n. my l3g 1s d3f1n1t3ly brok3n, but bon3s grow b4ck! plus now 1t tw1sts th3 wrong w4y. couldnt do th4t b3for3.
TA: >uh
GC: worst com3s to worst, 1ll h4v3 horuss wh1p m3 up 4 m3t4l on3! l1k3 h3 d1d for ruf1oh.
TA: >i think that's well past a worst case scenario...
TA: >but you're right. you're pretty injury prone, and i'm pretty sure you've had worse.
GC: my d3f3ns3 st4t 1s m4x3d from y34rs of tr41n1ng, dud3r1no.
TA: >training
TA: >aka involuntary injuries
GC: s3m4nt1cs.
GC: look though, 1m not h3r3 to d1scuss my on-th3-m3nd l3g, 1m h3r3 to d1scuss th3 g4m3.
TA: >really?
TA: >youve been kind of detached about the game. you just joined meenah's team with me then fell off the map.
GC: y34h! 1 h4d stuff to do w1th my stunt-4-d4y proj3ct.
GC: but th4ts 4lmost don3! plus th3 sk4t3 p4rk 1 usu4lly go to w4s just struck by 4 m3t3or.
TA: >there have been a lot of those lately. meenah says they have something to do with our game.
TA: >i think people are finally heeding my doom prophecies a little more.
GC: psh! doom proph3cy shoom proph3cy. you r34lly h4v3 to l3t th4t go, tun4, 1ts go1ng to br34k your br41n 1f you k33p fr3tt1ng 4bout 4ll th4t.
TA: >matesprit doesn't believe me, even when meteors are destroying civilization.
TA: >that feel when.
TA: >
GC: look, my pl4n 1nclud3s your pr3c1ous doomsd4y pr3d1ct1ons!
TA: >really?
GC: y34h! you s41d 1ts 1mport4nt w3 g3t 1nto th3 g4m3 4s4p. 4nd you h4v3 4 copy th4t horuss g4v3 to you. r1ght?
TA: >right.
GC: w3ll 1 s4y... w3 g3t th3 drop on t34m sp1d3rb1t3.
GC: w3 g3t 1nto th3 g4m3 34rly.
TA: >oh, shit.
TA: >that's not a bad idea, latula.
GC: plus s1nc3 your3 th3 on3 who cod3d 1t, your3 bound to know sh1tlo4ds 4bout 1t!
TA: >i don't know much.
TA: >just the basic means of connection and advancement.
TA: >but it's certainly more than anyone else knows. you're the only person other than kurloz who will listen to me when i explain things.
GC: oh y34h!! congr4ts on your mo1r41l3g14nc3, tun4!
GC: s4d th4t 1t took h1m d34f3n1ng h1s m4t3spr1t to conn3ct th3 two of you... but. 1m gl4d youv3 got som3on3 3ls3 look1ng out for you.
TA: >oh
TA: >i guess we are moirails, now.
TA: >though i haven't been able to speak with him, much. he is alone with meulin nowadays.
TA: >he took a vow of silence, which evidently includes texting.
GC: 1 th1nk th3 guy r34lly b34t h1ms3lf up 4bout 1t... 3v3n though m3ul1n 1s just 4s ch1pp3r 4s 3v3r.
TA: >they're learning sign language, together, apparently.
TA: >maybe i'll learn, too.
TA: >but back on track.
TA: >your plan is very good, latula. the disc horuss gave to me was to be passed on to you, anyway.
GC: how do3s th1s 4ll work, 4nyw4y?
TA: >it's simple.
TA: >each team has a "client" and a "server" player. each server gets each client into the game in a sequence.
TA: >for example:
TA: >player one gets player two in, then player two gets player three in, then player three gets player one in.
GC: l1k3 4 ch41n.
GC: ok4y, so... you g3t m3 1n, th3n 1 g3t th3 oth3rs 1n, th3n th3y g3t you 1n.
TA: >right!
TA: >but i can't go in first, since i have the disc and have to pass it on to someone else.
TA: >so i will be geting you in first.
GC: y3sss.
TA: >there are other steps, too, but, er-
TA: >rather esoteric.
TA: >see, you have to do something referred to as "prototyping," which i'm not familiar with.
GC: h3h. 1m sur3 1t do3snt m4tt3r 1f w3 dont do th4t! wh4t m4tt3rs 1s g3tt1ng 1n 4s4p.
TA: >you're probably right.
TA: >i'm going to send you the client application. install it and we can get started.
GC: T1GHT!
--- tragicAeons ceased trolling galCoolest ---
Looks like things are coming up Latuna! Soon enough, the client app is loaded and upon opening, things start to happen.
First, Mituna, your server, appears to gain control over your immediate area! How cool is that? Then, he materializes three devices into said immediate area, one next to the other, in your front yard.
Listen, reader. I'm going to level with you. I'm going to assume you know how SBURB works and what a cruxtruder is. I don't want to rehash a bunch of shit, here, this fic is long in the tooth already.
--- galCoolest began trolling tragicAeons ---
GC: 1m go1ng to do 4 tr1ck off th3s3 b1tch3s!
TA: >um
TA: >hang on, i'm still reading about what these do!
As promised, you do a sweet four-wheeled-device trick, grinding on the "totem lathe" to do a kickflip onto the cruxtruder.
Unfortunately, your broken leg hinders you somewhat, and you land stomach-first on the cruxtruder cap, causing it and you to fly off. A large teal-colored dowel pops out and strikes you in the ribs, cracking them mercilessly. You laugh on the ground.
TA: >that looked
TA: >painful
TA: > 
GC: 1t w4s but 1t 4bsolut3ly rul3d.
GC: 1f you got 1t on c4m3r4 s3nd 1t to m3!
TA: >ok
You get up with some difficulty. It appears that your ribs are now broken, too. Not to worry! You pick up the dowel, turning it over in your hand. You sit down on your four-wheel-device and using your not-broken leg, wheel yourself over to the cruxtruder. Floating in midair is an orb- This is great! You LOVE orbs.
GC: th1s th1ng rul3s. wh4t 1s 1t?
TA: >i have. no idea, frankly. i'm still trying to keep up with all this bs.
TA: >augh this is so aggrivating!
TA: >hold onto that cylinder, it's important.
TA: >and don't put anything in the orb until we know what it is!
TA: >okay, listen carefully, latula. each step is vital, and if you miss one, you'll be fucked.
TA: > step one:
--- tragicAeons went offline ---
Uh. Shit. Looks like Mituna's offline. That's not ideal. You bite your lip, clutching the dowel tighter. Looks like you're in this alone, for now. No matter! You'll make Mituna proud.
Be Mituna. ==>
You are now Mituna. You bang your fist against your computer desk, swearing up a storm.
MITUNA: 57UP1D P13C3 0F G4R84G3 8ULL5H17-
You take a deep breath, stopping yourself. Cool, collected, Mituna. It's just a power outage. Sometimes those happen, it's no big deal. Latula, despite broken ribs and leg, will be fine. She isn't wrong about her defense stat being unusually high. She recovers from these things fast, and she's sharp as a pin, too.
You withdraw your phone, which on the bright side, is getting reception, but on the dark side, it's only on 0% battery. Unlike most yellowbloods, you can't charge the thing yourself, because your psiionics are too strong. You DO know someone who CAN charge it, though: Your beloved Lusus!
Locate lusus. ==>
Like most of the other yellowbloods in the training compound, your lusus sleeps in the lusus bay, a large repurposed garage where the lusii sleep. Yours is always hassling the others, though, so he's usually chained on the roof of the garage instead. You make your way to the garage, picking your way towards the stairwell leading to the roof, through a large swath of various yellowblood lusii. There are giant bees, alligators, frogs with well-muscled humanoid legs, the works!
MITUNA: >sorry-
MITUNA: >just passing through! gotta see pops.
You make it and ascend the staircase. There he is, or, more accurately, there they are.
Your lusus is distinctive- An adult-troll-sized alabaster being with two heads, each topped with a single horn. Upon seeing you, he brightens up immediately. He's a little bipolar- When you're nearby he's sweet as a mewbeast, but when you're not, he's as truculent as a sleeping cholerbear.
MITUNA: >hehe, hey pops.
You're wrapped up in a hug. A pang of guilt strikes you. You don't have time to visit with him right now, you just need your phone to be charged. Once he lets go, you awkwardly hand him the device.
MITUNA: >can you charge this for me, real quick? it's really important.
Your right-dad nods, and left-dad gets to work, using its psiionics to pump energy into the phone. You dance anxiously. You have to get back to Latula quickly. Dad hands you the phone back. 100% battery. He's the best. You hug him once more and hasten to check your messages. Shit. It looks like during the outage, someone ELSE messaged you. You bite your lip.
You hate to leave Latula hanging, but she's a certified radgirl! She's probably making good gaming choices. You answer your new moirail.
--- thunderousCaterwaul began trolling tragicAeons ---
TC: good MORROW my FINE dude.
TA: >kurloz, fuck. i haven't heard from you in perigees.
TA: >are you okay? is meulin okay?
TC: she IS, brother MAN. she IS.
TC: you SEE, my GUY, she HAS learned THE righteous WAYS of THE hand-SIGNS.
TA: >that's great!
TA: >i mean, not great... it's sad she, uh.
TA: >that that stuff happened.
TC: sure IS.
TC: but MITUNA, i DIDNT come FOR just CHATTING.
TC: we NEED to DISCUSS the PINK DEMON.
You bite your lip. You figured that would come up. You had a dreadful feeling she had something to do with this.
TC: i DONT have LONG brother.
TC: MEET me AT the FARM tomorrow.
TC: YOU must.
TA: >fuck.
TA: >okay, yeah, that's fine.
TA: >latula and i just started the game early so i don't know how free i'll be, but...
TC: FUCK.
TC: THIS is EXCELLENT brother. BECAUSE the GAME is THE key.
TC: YOU and ME need TO get IN there ASAP.
The dread keeps building.
TA: >i'll be there.
TC: GOD SPEED MY LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER.
--- thunderousCaterwaul ceased trolling tragicAeons ---
You stand up. Your lusus makes a pained noise and you pat him on his head.
MITUNA: >don't worry guys. i'll be back. it's not like this is the last time you'll see me.
Be Latula. ==>
You are now Latula again. Wow, you really fucked up.
Things were going so well, too! You were outside your hive, making your way around, scooting on your four-wheel-device, figuring out these dowels, when something terrible happened.
--- tragicAeons began trolling galCoolest ---
TA: >latula!
TA: >sorry, bad timing. there was a power outage. what's going on? my computer is off so i can't see anything.
GC: uuuuuuuhhhhhhh!
You're glad he can't see anything.
Long story short, the thing he told you not to do? "Not putting anything into the orb until we know what it is?" Yeah. You did that.
GC: go1ng gr34t, tun4! just f1n1sh1ng up w1th th1s crux1t3 contr4pt1on.
TA: >okay, great.
TA: >while that's happening, tell me what the timer on the cruxtruder says? it's important.
GC: t1m3r? 1 d1dn't not1c3 on3. l3mm3 ch3ck.
You check. It's counting down from thirty seconds. You wonder what that could mean.
GC: tw3nty-31ght s3conds! w3ll. now tw3nty-f1v3.
TA: >oh.
TA: >oh shit.
TA: >latula, listen to me. you need to alchemize that dowel NOW, and do whatever it tells you to do!
TA: >...
TA: >latula?!
You don't respond. You can't. Because as you're alchemizing the totem, you happen to gaze into the sky. Above you, lighting up the whole woods in which you live, is a flaming, red ball of rock, screaming towards you.
GC: tun4 1 h4v3 to g3t th3 fuck out of h3r3.
TA: >what?!
--- galCoolest is offline ---
TA: >L47UL4?
Be Mituna. ==>
This is a pretty stressful day for you. You hit your desk again and scream. A few yellowbloods peek their heads out from their dorms, but hastily pull them back in when you emerge into the hallway, clutching your helmet, the device fizzling and crackling red and blue sparks.
MITUNA: L47UL4 M3730R! FUCK1NG CRUX173! D0W3L7H!!! FUCK1NG FUCK17Y FUCK 7HH17 P155 FUCK!!!!
Before you can react, your helmet falls off your head. Your hands shake as you cover your eyes with your hands.
MITUNA: U53L355!!!!! H3LM37 8ULL5H17!!!
You stumble back down the hall, towards the lusus garage. It takes every ounce of your strength to hold your powers back. Your hands are snapped over your eyes, which are squeezed closed, keeping the psiionic beams back. You have to get to your lusus before they escape. He's the only one who can calm you down. You stagger towards the stairwell, all the lusii in the garage getting out of your way, until you feel the cool breeze of the roof.
MITUNA: H3333LP M33333!
You cry out into the cold night air as you lose control. You open your eyes, hoping to see the loving face of your lusus...
But instead, all you can see is red, blue, and your lusus's charred remains.
Be Latula. ==>
You're Latula, again. Really playing some ping-pong today, aren't we?
On the bright side? A meteor didn't crush you. You're safe! The meteor is gone, as a matter of fact.
The bad news is that you're now... Somewhere else. The sky above you is dark, the trees around your home have grown much more dense. It appears you and the hive have been displaced.
LATULA: wh4t th3 fuck?
You look at your kernelsprite.
For years, you've never known your lusus. She was a dragon, once, belonging to a fearsome tealblood named The Prosecutor. Unfortunately, that was ages ago, and the dragon who'd once flown the stars has been a pile of bones for since you were a wiggler. You've never known her. Until now.
In a moment of passion, to stop the orb from yammering on, you tossed the skull of your long-dead lusus into it in an attempt to shut it up! It had worked, but now... The kernel appears to have taken the form of the dragon of old.
DRAGONSPRITE: h1 l4tul4! h111111!
You're still not sure what to make of this. Meeting your mom after so many years.
LATULA: uh. h1! 4r3 you...
DRAGONSPRITE: 1 4m!!
DRAGONSPRITE: 1 4m 4n 1nc4rn4t1on of your lusus, brought to l1f3 by th1s g4m3 m3ch4n1c!! 1sn't th4t 3xc1t1ng?
LATULA: wh3r3... 4m 1?
DRAGONSPRITE: you'r3 1n th3 m3d1um! mor3 sp3c1f1c4lly, you'r3 1n th3 l4nd of lum3ns 4nd glow!
You're not sure you can process this. Dragonsprite cocks her head at you.
Your phone buzzes.
--- cruelCondescension began trolling galCoolest ---
CC: yo lat
CC: change of plans
CC: we need to get in the game now
CC: fuck the teams fuck everyfin
CC: tell tula and horuss to get everyone in
GC: sh1t. 1'm w4y 4h34d of you on th4t, m33n4h! 1'm 4lr34dy 1n th3 g4m3. 4t l34st... 1 th1nk 1 4m?
CC: holy shit
CC: normally id be pissed you didnt follow directions but fuck it
CC: whos next in line
GC: ruf1oh's 4ft3r m3.
CC: ok get him the fuck in
GC: 1 don't know 1f 1 c4n? 1 don't h4v3 th3 d1scs. tun4 s3nt m3 4 cl13nt 4pp but 1 don't h4v3 th3 s3rv3r 4pp.
CC: doesnt matter
CC: look just uh
CC: what moon do you sleep on
GC: uh?
CC: FUCK
CC: okay okay this is fine. we can get a disc to you.
CC: just go to bed
CC: and tell me when you wake up if you dream in purple or in gold
GC: uh????
CC: stfu
CC: im going to tell everyone else to get the chain goin
CC: ugh
CC: aranea is going to be so smug that were all on the same team now
GC: th3 mor3 th3 m3rr13r, r1ght?
CC: i guess
You don't know what the fuck Meenah's talking about or if you should take a nap right now. It doesn't seem... Safe, here.
CC: and tell mituna to start buildin your hive up so you can get to the first gate
GC: th3 wh4t?
--- cruelCondescension ceased trolling galCoolest ---
Looks like that's all you're getting.
Be Meenah. ==>
You're now Meenah.
You're back at the palace. You don't have much time. The drones don't dare attack you, since you're the heiress, but you also know that they're going to tattle to the Empress about you. You have to get into the game NOW. Problem is, Horuss only gave discs to two people so far. The first- Mituna. The second?
Aranea.
Mituna is indisposed, so you're going to have to ask her. You REALLY don't want to, but you have no choice. You have to get into the game now.
Auntie or the Empress will be here any moment.
--- cruelCondescension began trolling arcaneGnowledge ---
CC: lemme join ur team
AG: I 8eg your pardon?
CC: stfu dont get smug with me beach just get me into the game asap
CC: send me the client program or what the fuck ever
AG: I'm sorry, Meenah, 8ut that's a tall order! How can I not 8e smug when you're 8egging me to do what we could have done since the 8eginning?
CC: uuuuuuuurrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh
AG: Fine! I will let you in on one condition.
CC: fuck fine name it
AG: T8ke me 8ack.
You want to scream. You want to strangle Aranea right now. After a long sigh and dread in your heart, you type four letters to the little opportunist.
CC: fine
AG: Oh!!!!!!!! I never thought that would work, Meenah! You must 8e truly desper8! Goodness, this is wonderful, I can't wait to tell Kankri.
You bury your face into your hands. You always thought this would be a moment of triumph, escaping your old life and making a new one. Not like this.
CC: just send the program
AG: Ask nicely. Darling. :::;)
CC: just send the program...
You feel like vomiting.
CC: ...babe
AG: Hehehehehehehehe!
--- cruelCondescension ceased pestering arcaneGnowledge ---
Be The Empress. ==>
You are now Feferi Piexes.
DRONE: NEWS FROM THE OLD PALACE EMPRESS STOP
You perk up suddenly.
FEFERI: Good god, reely?
DRONE: DRONE #413 REPORTS:
DRONE: "HEIRESS RETURNED TO PALACE STOP GUARDING ALL EXITS NOW STOP SHE IS NOT RESISTING FULL STOP"
Without so much as waiting, you dash out the door, screaming for a scuttlebuggy to be ready.
That little beach has kept you waiting for too long.
As you drive top-speed towards the old palace, your heart thuds.
Civil unrest has reached an all-time-high. People think you killed Meenah. Meteors are striking your planet, and to top it all off, your approval rating is at an all-time low of less than 30%. It's all far too much, so much you could cry. You've been ruling for thousands of sweeps, you built this planet with your bare hands, and now it's as though it's all falling apart around you.
But you won't let it.
If the people think you killed Meenah? Maybe you should make it happen.
You won't let your planet go.
DRONE: T-MINUS ONE MINUTE TO ARRIVAL STOP
You grit your sharp teeth, clutching your trident. You're going to do what you should've done years ago when that traitor, the Grand-Matron fled with Meenah.
But as you approach the old palace, Meenah's hive... Something is happening. The whole complex is glowing, the grounds shrouded in a blue light, like electricity. Meenah stands in the front yard next to some mysterious white-colored device with a cylinder poking out the top. Your jaw goes slack. You leap from the buggy, howling at Meenah. This won't take but one toss. You're too far to reach her.
FEFERI: YOU TOOK -EV-ERYT)(ING FROM M-E-E-E-E-E-E!
You howl over the roar of the blue light and toss your trident as hard as you can muster towards Meenah. She looks up in shock, dodging to the side, the golden trident clattering to the ground behind her. Once she spots you... She grins and points up into the sky.
You pant, running towards the palace, but before you can make it...
It's gone.
You find yourself tumbling down a crater where the immense palace once was, face-down in the dirt, screaming for vengeance.
You have no idea what happened. The palace just... Disappeared. You claw at the dirt, helplessly as you sob.
DRONE: EMPRESS STOP
You ignore the drone, weeping into the crater. It was all a waste. It's all over. Your reign, your sanity, your-
DRONE: EMPRESS PLEASE MOVE FULL STOP
You look up towards the drone, ready to admonish it, but to your horror, before you're able...
A meteor crushes you from above.
In your final moments, you have just one thought. Meenah's smiling face and her smug pointing skyward.
The Empress is Dead. Meenah got away.