Before Us

Homestuck
F/F
F/M
Gen
M/M
G
Before Us
Summary
"BEFORE US," a Homestuck Prologue. Now COMPLETE! (Part 1 at least.)This exhaustive and detailed fic follows the exploits of the Dancestors getting into their game of S'grub. It also tells of their ancestors and the figures surrounding them. It's a story of what came before, of the session that started it all. I hope you enjoy this fic.Also- This is canon. According to me. ; )NOTE 6/13/24: Hello all. It's been a while since Before Us has been updated and some image links are broken. I will fix this when I have the time. Some of the graphics of Professor Scratch will need to be remade.
All Chapters Forward

The Love Guru

Your name is PORRIM MARYAM, but you're better-known as your online persona, the LOVE GURU. You give advice to LOVELORN individuals across Beforus, who all trust your words by virtue of your INTENSE CONNECTION to the MOTHER GRUB, your lusus. You live deep in the broodcaverns, but you kind of HATE it here. You find it cloying and unsatisfying, a product of the SYSTEM OF OPPRESSION you will lament to anyone who will listen.

Unlike the rest of the Jadebloods, however, you are not tasked with raising grubs nor slurry operations, but the WELLBEING of the mother grub, a job you were raised for from birth by the old GRAND-MATRON. In fact, you are the youngest GRAND-MATRON in history.

Your speaking style is Particularly o+pulent and fanciful, yet do+wn-to+-befo+rus and gro+unded, and your online handle is glorifiedAdmirer.

What will you do?

Examine Respiteblock. ==>

Your room, as usual, is a mess. You're not a very tidy person, evidenced by the clothes strewn about the place and papers shuffled haphazardly everywhere. Still- Despite the clutter, it's homey. Your respiteblock has a hole in its north wall that overlooks the broodpit, where your lusus sleeps soundly. The hole is big enough to poke her head into when she desires companionship, and it doesn't cause a draft because you're so far under ground.

Today is a big day for you, as a matter of fact, because the mother grub is slated to give birth, soon- Not just give birth to a new clutch of trolls and drones, but to a new matriorb. Unlike your sisters, it is your sole responsibility to take the matriorb.

You're a little nervous about this, because it also means the end of the Mother Grub's life, something you don't look forward to in the least.

Visit the Mother Grub. ==>

You walk out of your hive through the hole in the wall and down into the MG's pit. She snoozes peacefully, her countenance calm. You place a hand on her head.

To even a normal Jadeblood, who are outfitted with night-vision beyond that of normal trolls, the broodpits are too dark to navigate properly, which makes you perfect for the task. As a rainbow drinker, you are bioluminescent, adapted to the dark by your own skin's glow and your lack of need for a great amount of sustenance. You're also told that your unique complexion endows you to walk in the sun. Not that you've ever seen the surface.

The mother grub's eyes open, looking at you with melancholy. The both of you share a psychic connection, and she speaks to you, now, inside your mind.

MOTHER: Good morning, my child. You look forlorn. It doesn't befit your beautiful countenance.

PORRIM: Yo+u've to+ld me this is a happy day, but I'm afraid I can't get into+ the spirit.

PORRIM: My sisters are so+ excited. So+metimes I wo+rry I will be the o+nly o+ne to+ miss yo+u.

MOTHER: Such is the way of things, my child.

MOTHER: But they are right to be excited. It is a time of renewal.

PORRIM: But a time o+f death, to+o+.

MOTHER: Only to us, child. Such is the way it should be.

MOTHER: I know it is hard to suffer alone, but that is better than everyone suffering, no?

MOTHER: Besides. You are not alone, yet. There is still time. We have all day, my child.

MOTHER: Go, relax. Take some time for yourself before you come back for me.

You nod. A jade-colored tear leaks from your saltwater bioducts. Mother wipes it away with her carapaced legs.

You walk back to your respiteblock as mother dozes off once again. From the caverns above, there is a low rumbling noise- No doubt the greenhorn jades are mucking something up. You frown, hoping the vibrations don't disturb mother's slumber.

As you step back inside, your palmhusk goes off. Perhaps a client needs some help.

Answer client. ==>

As it turns out, it isn't a client, it's your moirail.

 

--- cardioGalitarian began pestering glorifiedAdmirer ---

CG: P9rrim, I understand this is a 6ig day f9r y9u, s9 please d9n't feel the need t9 resp9nd urgently. That said, the matter is time sensitive, s9 please d9 resp9nd as s99n as y9u can, 6ut n9t in an urgent fashi9n.

GA: I can speak, Kanny. What is it?

CG: Thank g9d. I didn't want t9 pressure y9u, 6ut as I re-read my initial p9st, it was clear that this WAS an urgent matter.

GA: I'm sure it is.

CG: I ap9l9gize if I misled y9u in any way, P9rrim, I didn't mean t9 give y9u a false impressi9n. This IS s9mething that I need t9 discuss with y9u urgently.

GA: ...Right.

CG: Well... Actually, n9w that I think a69ut it, it's n9t urgent in a time-sensitive manner, necessarily. Just that I'd like t9 talk t9 y9u a69ut things 6ef9re certain 9ther elements get the chance t9.

GA: Kankri.

CG: My fear isn't time-related, just that perhaps 9thers have sp9ken t9 y9u 6ef9re I g9t the chance t9 a69ut the matter, which is indeed urgent, 6ut n9t traditi9nally s9.

GA: I'm go+ing to+ put yo+u o+n ho+ld. So+meo+ne else is messaging me.

--- cruelCrustacean began pestering glorifiedAdmirer ---

CC: hey por

CC: wanna play a game w me tuna and latula later

GA: Certainly. I'll need so+mething to+ distract me after the mo+ther grub passes away.

CC: tight

GA: Indeed. Go+dspeed to+ yo+u.

--- glorifiedAdmirer resumed trolling cardioGalitarian ---

CG: S9, in sum, while I kn9w y9u have pri9rities right n9w, as s99n as they are safely c9mpleted, I need t9 speak with y9u, in a way that takes precedence 9ver that, 6ut n9t y9ur duties t9 the 6r99d M9ther.

GA: Kanny, yo+u're rambling.

CG: 9h, right.

GA: Tell me what yo+u needed to+ ask.

CG: Will y9u play a game with me, later? Aranea is als9 9n a team with us.

GA: I'm afraid Meenah has just asked me to+, first, dear.

CG: Fuck.

GA: Language.

CG: Frick.

CG: I supp9se I sh9uld have expected this. It 6reaks my heart. I was h9ping I w9uldn't have t9 6est y9u in this c9mpetiti9n, 6ut fate has different plans, it seems.

GA: What is the co+mpetitio+n, anyway? Meenah wasn't fo+rthco+ming.

CG: That remains t9 6e seen. Even still, there's quite a 6uzz am9ng the participants.

GA: Who+ is currently playing?

CG: It is six-9n-six. There is 9ur team, the n96le Team Spider6ite (W9rking Title,) and Meenah's team. Team 2.

CG: Team Spider6ite (W9rking Title) is myself, Aranea, Meulin, Kurl9z, and H9russ.

CG: Team 2 is Meenah, Yourself, Mituna, Latula, and Rufioh.

GA: We are both o+ne sho+rt, it seems.

CG: Actually, there is a mysterio+us sixth participant, o+ne o+f Rufio+h's friends. At least, that is the rumo+r. Meenah wo+n't tell me who+.

GA: It co+uld be Miss Megido+.

CG: 9h. It appears y9u're n9t appraised 9f that situati9n.

GA: Pardo+n?

CG: Damara was killed. Quite s9me time ag9, in fact. It was immensely regretta6le, and the details are fuzzy. 9nly Mituna seems t9 kn9w what happened, and understanda6ly, he was t99 shaken t9 divulge anything a69ut it. She was his l9ver, after all.

GA: That's no+t co+rrect.

CG: Pard9n?

GA: I've spo+ken to+ Damara. Recently, to+o+. She's perfectly fine. She is o+ne o+f my clients, in spite o+f the language barrier.

CG: That's 9dd. Y9u d9n't think s9me9ne c9uld 6e impers9nating her, d9 y9u?

GA: If they have, they've been do+ing an impeccable jo+b. She sends me pho+to+s, to+o+, o+ccasio+nally.

CG: I will have t9 ask Mituna a69ut this. This d9esn't seem like s9mething he w9uld 6e mistaken a69ut.

GA: I am sure it is so+me misunderstanding.

CG: Pr96a6ly. I'm still sad y9u're n9t 9n my team, 6ut if anything happens, we can pr96a6ly kick s9me9ne t9 make r99m f9r y9u.

GA: I appreciate it, Kanny. I must take my leave no+w, tho+ugh. Make sure to+ scrub yo+ur o+ral bo+nes.

CG: Ugh. Fine.

--- cardioGalitarian ceased trolling glorifiedAdmirer ---

 

You're not sure if it's just procrastination, but something doesn't seem right about this Damara business. You know she's alive, unless dead people can somehow require love-advice and operate palmhusks. You've even heard her voice recently. Perhaps you should ask her.

 

--- glorifiedAdmirer began trolling anatanoAkuyaku ---

GA: Damara, go+o+d mo+rning. I kno+w I do+n't generally message my clients first, and if yo+u respo+nd yo+u wo+n't be billed fo+r a sessio+n, there was just so+mething I wanted to+ clarify briefly.

--- glorifiedAdmirer ceased trolling anatanoAkuyaku ---

 

No response. She was always detached. Might as well ask Mituna, since he's in the middle of all this. Your nose wrinkles. You don't dislike Mituna, you've just never seen eye-to-eye with him.

Above you, another rumble is heard. Your respiteblock shakes a little. After you're finished up, you should really head up there and tell the Jadebloods to stop messing around. Caves are dangerous, and no one wants a cave-in.

 

--- glorifiedAdmirer began trolling tragicAeons ---

GA: Mituna, go+o+d mo+rning. I kno+w I do+n't generally message my clients first, and if yo+u respo+nd yo+u wo+n't be billed fo+r a sessio+n, there was just so+mething I wanted to+ clarify briefly.

TA: >be me

TA: >get called "client" by a husk-sex operator

TA: >MFW

TA: >

GA: Glad we're o+n the same page.

GA: Do+ yo+u think yo+u can o+verco+me yo+ur crippling fear o+f so+cializing like a no+rmal tro+llan being and answer my questio+n?

TA: >only if you can overcome your crippling fear of not being a huge bitch.

GA: The go+ds kno+w I will try.

GA: Kankri info+rmed me that yo+u believe Damara Megido+ to+ have died.

TA: >wow.

TA: >straight for the jugular, huh?

TA: >yes. she's dead. forever, apparently.

GA: That is at o+dds with what I kno+w to+ be true. She and I have spo+ken many times in the past sweep alo+ne.

It's a long moment before Mituna speaks again.

TA: >who have you been talking to?

TA: >are you in cahoots with the pink demon?

TA: >what the fuck is wrong with you? can't i mourn my dead matesprit in fuck1ng p3ace withtourt Y0U M3DDL3R5 M3DDL1NG 1N MY M3DDL350M3 M07H3RFUCK1NG FL1PP0U7 8U51N355??!?!

GA: Mituna. Please calm do+wn. Pink Demo+n?? What?

TA: >5HU7 7H3 FUCK UP 480U7 7H1NG5 Y0U D0N'7 KN0W 4NY7H1NG 480U7!!!!!!!!

--- tragicAeons blocked glorifiedAdmirer ---

 

Wow. Okay. You're probably at fault for that one, bringing up something sensitive out of the grey like that. Still, you're convinced of one thing: Mituna definitely BELIEVES that Damara is dead. He's also right about you being a meddler, but you don't take it as the condemnation he meant it as.

You're pulled from your thoughts by another rumble in the caverns above you. Okay, they really need to cut it out up there, seriously! You huff.

Take care of business. ==>

You take a look out of the hole in your hive wall. Enough distractions. The mystery about Damara can wait, and so can those rambunctious jadebloods. You slowly slip on a pair of rubber gloves and withdraw your heavy-duty surgeon's scythe. It looked much more at home in the hands of your ancestor and mentor, the Grand-Matron, but you suppose you're the Grand-Matron, now.

PORRIM: Mother. It's time.

You say those words, but you don't dare wake her. You don't want her to be awake for what's to come.

Removing a matriorb from a mother grub requires a delicate touch, but it still requires the death of the existing mother grub. You take no pleasure in this, having to kill your own mother, but you also know it has to be done and that it is her wish. You are responsible for her progeny, and the perpetuation of your very species.

What's more, this operation is particularly delicate, as there is no virgin mother grub to harvest from, either. The one you see before you is the last of her kind. If you fail this task, your whole species could be without means of reproduction. You swallow, the pressure suddenly mounting. Still. You are confident. After all, you've trained your whole life for this.

Unfortunately, and all of a sudden, the biggest rumble yet tears through the caverns, but this time, it's nearly deafening. You cry out, losing your balance, falling on your ass as, with wide, terrified eyes, the ceiling above the mother grub cracks.

PORRIM: MO+THER!

You cry out, and mother opens her eyes blearily. She doesn't look alarmed in the least as another rumble strikes the ceiling.

PORRIM: GET O+UT O+F THE WAY!

You plead, but mother doesn't move. She looks up from the pit at you, her mandibles twisting into what you know is one of her smiles. You hear her words in your mind.

MOTHER: It is time, child.

With a moment of terrible realization, you realize this was what she had meant. She hadn't sent you away earlier to get your mind off things. She'd known this was coming.

The ceiling finally gives way and you're thrown back deeper into your respiteblock as a massive meteor strikes into the earth, causing a cave in. You can only watch in horror as mother is buried under the tons of rock and molten meteorite crush her to death. For the first time in your life, your mind goes silent. Mother is gone.

You crawl out of the cavern, looking upwards. There is a hole in the ceiling, now, nearly fifty feet across, the wreckage clear as day. Meteors, one after another, had pounded holes into the ground, collapsing the ceiling of every level of the broodcaverns. Above you, you hear panic from the Jades.

For the first time in your life, high above you, above the wrecked ceilings of your long-time home, you can see the sky, more meteors streaking across the starry sky.

No time to dwell. You walk up the stairs to the level above you, scythe in hand. Now, instead of a surgical tool, it is a symbol of your leadership, and it's time to step up.

PORRIM: Jades!

You bellow as you emerge into the wreckage of the floor above you. The Jadebloods freeze and look towards you, wielding the Grand-Matron's scythe.

PORRIM: Mo+ve! Get everyo+ne yo+u can who+ is injured and make yo+ur way upward. We need to+ get new shelter befo+re the sun co+o+ks yo+u all alive.

An older jadeblood speaks up as her peers move to follow your command.

NUUBIS: Grand-Matron, the meteor- Is the Mother Grub alright?

Your jaw clenches. This is no time to show fear, but it's no time for convenient lies, either.

PORRIM: She was crushed before I could get to her.

Nuubis swallows thickly, her eyes widening. Still, you both know immediate safety is more paramount than fear, right now.

 

===

 

Hours later, the jadebloods who survived the blast emerged onto the surface. A surface you've never seen before. Funny, you always thought it would be different, that you'd someday emerge to see it in better circumstances. No time to dawdle.

PORRIM: Nuubis, do+ yo+u kno+w a place we co+uld seek shelter? It's no+t safe in the caverns any mo+re.

Indeed, what were once the broodcaverns was now a large hole in the ground.

NUUBIS: There is a h-hotel about a mile that way. I'll take the jades who can't walk in the scuttlebuggies.

PORRIM: Yo+u heard her! If yo+u're injured, take the cargo+ scuttlebuggy with Nubis. If yo+u can walk, we are mo+ving to+ward the ho+tel in that directio+n!

You hate how easy it is to take the lead. You bang your scythe on the ground, and ass the jadebloods mill down the road or to the truck, you take one last look down into the caverns-turned-pit.

Everything hits you at once. Not only is your home gone... But so is Mother.

None of your fellow Jades say a word as they watch you collapse to your knees and weep.

 

Be Meenah. ==>

 

It's been a while since you've been Meenah! Feels nice, back in the saddle, you think, especially after all that nonsense.

You've been staying at auntie's house on the moon for perigees, now, and honestly, it rules. You dind't get out much before, so being in hiding isn't too big a deal for you, plus the reception here is killer, so talking to your friends is easy to organize for the game.

There's just... One problem. You have a full team of players, but you now realize you don't have access to the game discs, which you foolishly left inside your hive. They're probably still sitting in your room, but it's not like you can go back to grab them without HER noticing! You'll have to get them some other way, or better yet, get someone ELSE to do it for you. After all, that's what an heiress is all about!

But who? Who do you trust enough to grab the discs? Who's dumb enough to be willing to go into a palace crawling with guards and sneaky enough to grab the game for you?

You've got it!

 

--- cruelCrustacean began trolling capaciousTool ---

CC: yo hors

CT:8=D < Ah, my most e%alted and beloved heiress apparent! Or should I say former heiress apparent. I suppose that is regrettable, but does not change your noble personage. As such, I humbly bow to you.

CC: nice

CC: lets cut the shit tho you tend to get long winded and i just need a favor not any yakkin

CT:8=D < Of course, your hayness.

CT:8=D < I mean, your highneighs.

CT:8=D < I mean. Oh, fiddlesti%.

CC: yeah this is the kinda shit id love to cut down on

CC: i need you to go grab somefin from my hive. i kno you live close, i used to sea you when i visited aranea.

CT:8=D < Heavens, yes. Though I would make the trek on hoof for days and nights if it meant I could do you a favor. Seeing you when you visited my neighbor was a delight every single time.

--- cruelCrustacean muted capaciousTool ---

CC: mhm

CC: anywave

CC: i need you to go to my palace and nab somefin from my room

CC: its not gonna be easy tho

CC: youre gona have to sneak past the empress's drones to snag them

CC: what i need to grab is 12 discs in my room, its up the stairs as you enter.

CC: cant miss it, its just past the 2 story tall statue of me

CC: the discs are all on my computer chair where i left em

CC: capiche?

CC: ...

CC: o right lol

--- cruelCrustacean unmuted capaciousTool ---

CT:8=D < I must admit, o fine and noble heiress, that I am a bit conflicted. I said I'd do anything for you, but I daren't disobey the likes of the empress, either. No offense intended, of course, my good lady, but you do not presently outrank her.

CC: its not disobeyin she wont mind a bit

CC: she aint gonna miss em

CC: plus if i dont get those discs we cant play the game and thats important yeah

CT:8=D < Oh, too true! Regrettably, I am also on Aranea's team, it seems, and not that of the splendid heiress...

CT:8=D < Perhaps I could be persuaded if you made a place for me on your team?

CC: uh sure idc

CC: youre more shrewd than i thought zahhak

CT:8=D < Your compliment tickles me to the boner, your hayness! I won't let you down. I'll have those discs in a jiffy.

--- capaciousTool ceased trolling cruelCrustacean ---

 

You hope that squares that away. You've got no idea if Horuss can do this or not, but if he's willing, might as well give him the chance to prove himself! He kind of creeps you out, but he's reverent in the way that really pumps up your ego, so he's tolerable. Professor Scratch pokes her enormous head around the corner.

SCRATCH: Have you discovered a way to retrieve the discs?

MEENAH: on it

MEENAH: yo i meant to ask how do you get alternian food all the way up on this moon

MEENAH: i thought the plants here were inedible

SCRATCH: A wonderful question!

SCRATCH: The process is called "alchemization," and-

MEENAH: changed my mind idc

MEENAH: my eyes glaze over at words that big

SCRATCH: Understandable.

MEENAH: just five perigees until we play this game huh

MEENAH: i bet youre wrong and we play it this month

SCRATCH: Hee Hee Hee, perhaps! I suppose you'll have to work hard to find out.

MEENAH: im just gettin worried

MEENAH: meteors are hittin the planet a shell of a lot arent they

MEENAH: theres like two strikes per day down there

SCRATCH: Yes. Soon enough, they'll begin to hit the moon, too.

MEENAH: shit reely??

MEENAH: thats like those apocalypse movies n shit

SCRATCH: Oh, yes! Exactly, in fact.

SCRATCH: I might have left a detail out of my primer on the game.

SCRATCH: You see, the game also affords escape from the meteors that are coming down.

MEENAH: wh

MEENAH: fuck really???

MEENAH: jesus i thought it was just going to get me away from the empress

SCRATCH: Oh, no. The friends you're taking with you will be saved meteor-armageddon.

MEENAH: god...

MEENAH: thats heavy af

SCRATCH: Indeed, Meenah. But take heart! You'll be in a world all your own. You never liked the population, anyway, did you?

MEENAH: pft nah fuck em

SCRATCH: Are you going to tell your friends?

MEENAH: probs

MEENAH: not yet tho

MEENAH: maybe once the meteors start gettin worse

SCRATCH: Shrewd.

MEENAH: yo totally unrelated auntie but

MEENAH: why do you have a guest room

SCRATCH: ...Pardon?

MEENAH: i mean youve never had a visitor here right

MEENAH: so why do you have a guest room at all

SCRATCH: Oh, I built it knowing you'd one day need to stay here, obviously.

MEENAH: yeah but like

MEENAH: whys it got someone ELSES stuff in it??

SCRATCH: ...

SCRATCH: No one else has ever lived there. What are you referring to?

MEENAH: theres this dudes journal

MEENAH: under the floorboards, called himself karkat

MEENAH: it was loose so i looked underneath and there was a lil magic 8 ball just like ur head and his diary

SCRATCH: His WHAT?!

You flinch. You didn't think Auntie would get mad about this. She suddenly grabs you by the shirt-collar, pulling you down to be face-to-face with her.

SCRATCH: Show me the journal, IMMEDIATELY!

You push your auntie away, roughly. She hastily calms herself.

SCRATCH: What I mean is. 

SCRATCH: That journal is secret. You ought to show me where he kept it so I can dispose of it properly.

You narrow your eyes.

MEENAH: nah

You've always hated authority figures. You didn't mind Scratch so much before, since she was always honest and didn't look down to you, but something about her outburst makes your blood run cold.

SCRATCH: I... What? Meenah.

MEENAH: nah im keepin it

You cross your arms. Scratch pauses for a long moment, then relents.

SCRATCH: Fine! Fine. I'm sure it's fine. His writing was always a tad long form for you to have the patience for anyway! 

MEENAH: u lied to me tho

SCRATCH: Pardon? No, Meenah, I never lie.

MEENAH: u said no one else ever lived in that room

SCRATCH: I didn't lie. He didn't live in THAT room. He merely hid his stupid little journal there.

MEENAH: what youre sayin he knew id find it so he put it there

MEENAH: where did he live then

SCRATCH: That little nuisance lived in my basement. Had to be kept there for his own good.

MEENAH: huh.

Again, another red flag. "For their own good," was just about the Empress's #1 phrase. Something was too fishy about this.

SCRATCH: Goodness, Meenah. It's getting late! You must be quite sleepy. 

MEENAH: what?? no im not even tired

MEENAH: cmon scratch you can trust me with-

Professor Scratch raises her fingers, snapping them, and before you can protest, your eyes shut and you feel your body falling backwards.

Goodness. That's quite enough of that.

You understand, don't you, dear reader? I had to stop her from reading that nasty little journal. Who knows what lies that lunatic is spinning about me!

Nasty little trick of his, hiding it from me like that. Apparently there are gaps in my knowledge even I don't know about!

But I'm sure they are few and far between, unlike what he would have you believe.

No matter. Things are progressing smoothly, even with his interference. Let's see, now... If I'm correct, Meenah will be just waking up.

Not in the waking world, of course, though.

 

===

 

You wake up.

What an awful dream. You were arguing with a puppet with an 8-ball for a head. You rub your eyes, yawning.

Wait. What's happening? You're not in your recupacoon at home, you're on a respite slab in some fucked up purple room! Not only that, but you're wearing the world's tackiest purple pajamas! These things totally clash with your eyes. How annoying!

You walk to the nearby window. You're high in the air, it seems, above a purple city. Maybe you're in another palace, like at home? You walk to the room's door, trying the knob. To your irritation, it's locked.

MEENAH: HEY! anyone out there? lemme out!

To your surprise, the tactic works! The doorknob rattles and in steps... Something.

It looks like a troll, sort of, but it has no horns and its skin is sleek and black. It towers over you, holding a club in his hands.

???: well well lookit this. guard duty aint so boring now. sleeping beauty finally woke up!

MEENAH: who tf are you

???: name's head bailiff. at yer service.

You eye up this "Head Bailiff." He looks like your typical goon: Big, brutish, and dumb. On his lapel is a little pin with a heart on it.

HEAD BAILIFF: listen, im gettin' paid to make sure you don't skedaddle from your tower, capisce? so just lay yer pretty head back down and we can-

Nah. You've been a caged bird all your life! You figure you'll take your chances with gravity, leaping out the window, hoping the slope of one of the many spired roofs catches you so you can slide down!

HEAD BAILIFF: what the- hey!! kid!

HB's screams fall away as, to your shock, you can fly! Wow! That worked out WAY better than you'd expected, holy shit. Good thing, too, as your getaway is now that much easier. You really don't mind being on the run- You have been most of your life after all.

You float to ground level and look around. Looks like everyone around here is the same as the big guy, black shiny carapaces and little beady eyes. Most of them are much cuter than your captor, though, and none of them sport heart-shaped pins. You walk a few blocks, peeking around in awe- Then you see it. Your eyes light up like a kid at christmas.

You rush forth, pressing your nose to the glass of the storefront. Inside the building, helpfully labelled the "Sword Sorceror," are all kinds of weapons! Knives, swords, cutlasses, daggers, everything sharp! You LOVE it.

STRANGER: Don't bother gettin' your hopes up, squirt.

A stranger speaks up, a random carapaced man wearing a hard-hat who's putting bricks one on top of another to build a wall nearby.

STRANGER: None'a the knives in there are for sale. The guy who owns the joint never lets anyone buy nothin'.

You grin.

MEENAH: who said anyfin about BUYIN? hand me one'a them bricks.

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