Hansom Fellouw
Your name is HANSOM FELLOUW. You've been a long-time FRIEND AND CONFIDANT to twelve of the most important people in your life for some time, now, and as a matter of fact, you like to think of yourself as everyone's friend! Once upon a time, you lived in the DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN, but moved to the surface when you found your TRUE CALLING: Rehabilitation.
You rehabilitate the worst of the worst, the CULLED TROLLS no highblood wants to take. At the young age of six sweeps, you began the Fellouw Institute for Troubled Culls, a place where even the most down-on-their-luck trolls can come for state-of-the-art assistance. Then, with the help of you and your STAFF (some of whom are formerly culled trolls themselves,) you prepare them for life in the outside world!
Your speaking style is highly ENTHUSIASTIC AND bombastic~!!!!! and your online handle is everyonesBuddy.
What will you do?
Check on your patients. ==>
Nonsense! Today is your day off! Even the most hard-working troll needs to take some time for themselves. You DO love working at the institute, but you need leisure time just like anyone else. You really do think trolls of all castes aren't that different- Even if you have gills and most trolls don't.
Instead, you investigate your hive.
Your hive is a bit of a mess, frankly. You like to think you're an organized guy, but you have to admit, sometimes you bite off more than you can chew! But that's okay. You rely on help from your friends just like they know they can rely on you. You halfheartedly pick up some of your clothes and toss them into the hamper, but quickly lose steam and wander into the kitchen.
Make some grub. ==>
You rustle up some grub. Literally. You take some grubs from the fridge and eat them whole. Dee-licious!
Honestly, you often find yourself despondent on days off. It's hard to get motivation to do things, sometimes, but you decide today you'll spend your leisure time chatting with your friends!
You withdraw your palmhusk and find to your dismay, no one is awake yet. Except... One person.
--- casanovasAdonis began pestering everyonesBuddy ---
CA: okay listen here mister goody twvo shoes.
CA: i knowv you'vwe been muscling in on my pals, lately, and i just wvant to say.
CA: i'm on to you.
EB: CRONUS~!
EB: WOW it's been a WHILE since i've SEEN YOU~
EB: how's your LOVE-QUEST going, buddy~?
CA: don't change the fucking subject, jackass.
CA: but, uh. it's going fine.
CA: actually, it kind of sucks. i did find a moirail, though.
EB: WOW~!
EB: cronus, i told you pal~ just KEEP AT IT and you'll find love~
EB: who's the LUCKY BEAU~?
CA: oh wvell that's a funny story actually.
CA: it's
CA: GAH!
CA: there you go trying to fucking trick me vwith your buddy-buddy act. you make me sick. you almost had me there.
EB: it's not an ACT, cronus~
EB: you mean A LOT TO ME~!
EB: ALL of my friends do~
CA: vwhatevwer.
CA: if you wvere really my friend you'd giwve up your spot playing this game vwith meenah.
EB: oh GOSH........
EB: cronus, i'm really SORRY, but i already PROMISED MEENAH that i'd PLAY.........
EB: picking TEAMS isn't up to me........!
EB: and um. i don't think it's very FRIENDLY OF YOU to ask me to not play........
CA: ugh
CA: i don't knowv wvhy they vwant to play vwith a goody-tvwo-shoes like you and not wvith me.
EB: don't worry cronus~ it's not like this is the LAST CHANCE we'll have to play with our friends.
CA: ugh! can't you see i vwas just pitch flirting wvith you, idiot? can't you try to antagonize me a little bit or something?
EB: OH.......
EB: jeez, cronus i'm FLATTERED, but i'm a bit TOO BUSY to fill quads.......
CA: you suck.
--- casanovasAdonis blocked everyonesBuddy ---
You're not sure what to make of that guy. For such a grumpy fella, he sure does message you a lot. Maybe you SHOULD ask Meenah about including him... Yeah! You'll win him over that way for sure!
--- everyonesBuddy began trolling cruelCondescension ---
EB: HEYA~!
EB: i meant to ask about this GAME we're going to be playing soon, MEENAH~!
CC: oh hey whaddup
CC: sorry cant talk for long big guy im kind of like
CC: well
CC: i think im asleep rn
EB: oooooh...... sleep texting~?
CC: somefin like that??
CC: its hard to explain.
CC: but i can make a sec for you bud.
EB: GREAT~!
EB: so BASICALLY, i was wondering.........
EB: are there really only TWELVE SPOTS to play the game? and are all of them REALLY FULL~?
CC: yup
CC: me n araneas teams are both packed now
CC: why was there someone you wanted to add?
EB: sorta. just someone who was kinda LEFT OUT........
CC: fuck
CC: no
CC: if youre talkin aboat cronus no fuckin way
EB: but he's just SO SAD about it......!
CC: look idrc how sad the dude is
CC: i know you got a bleedin heart for all the downtrodden of the world
CC: but that dude aint downtrodden
CC: he does the down-trodding
CC: i asked you for a reason and not him
EB: i understand meenah......
EB: but if you gave him A CHANCE then i'm sure he'd SURPRISE YOU~!
CC: haha fuck
CC: i wish i had your faith my dude
CC: look how aboat this
CC: if anyone cant play for any reason ill give him their spot
CC: tell him hes on the wait list or whatebber
EB: oh~!!!!
EB: meenah, thank you~!
EB: that makes me feel A LOT BETTER~!
CC: ok but seareously i gotta clam scray. the cops are comin
--- cruelCondescension ceased trolling everyonesBuddy ---
EB: the COPS.....?!
You'll have to make a mental note to check on her later. You're not sure what the cops are, but they sound like a bunch of bastards to you! You'd message Cronus to tell him the good news, but sadly, he's blocked you. No matter. He always unblocks you within the day.
Tell Cronus in person. ==>
Good idea! His vineyard where he lives isn't far from here. You can take your lusus!
You remember not long ago, before Cronus was so sullen, when the two of you would race your lusii around his vineyard and laugh until the sun rose. You sigh, missing those days.
You head to your garage, where your lusus is sleeping on his comforter. You grin, patting him on the head.
Give Lusus some elk-treats. ==>
Your sea-elk lusus still hasn't completely adjusted to living on land. While sea-elk are amphibious, they thrive on coasts, not as far inland as you live. As such, to make him feel better, you splash a bucket of warm saltwater on his flank and toss him an elk-treat! He snaps it out of the air and nickers appreciatively. You stroke his antlers affectionately.
HANSOM: wanna take a RIDE, big guy~?
Elkdad hastens to his feet, his tail swishing back and forth. His thin legs are well-muscled and majestic and the finned tail he uses for swimming looks in top form! You feel bad that you can't take him out to ride as much as you used to, but you can tell he understands.
You equip elk-dad with his saddle and you climb on, opening the garage door and setting off!
The wind whips your hair and you grip his antlers to steer as well as to keep from flying off Elkdad's back. Soon enough, the vineyard is in view. One of Cronus's employee/caretakers is there to greet you.
PORGAS: han5om!
You hop off Elkdad, who moseys over to the stable to visit Cronus's lusus. They've always gotten along better than you and Cronus ever did.
HANSOM: HEYA~!
HANSOM: is cro home~?
Porgas nods, pointing towards Cronus's "office." In reality, it's just a little hut with a respiteblock Cronus lives in. He doens't actually do any administration.
PORGAS: he'5 5till a5leep. that or he'5 just lounging in bed.
PORGAS: he might be cranky, but we can wake him up for you.
HANSOM: that's okay! i'll DO THE HONORS myself~
You walk to the office, opening the screen door. When the door opens, Cronus perks up from his respiteslab.
CRONUS: Porg?
When he sees it's you, he scowls in dismay, curling the sheets around his head sullenly.
CRONUS: vwhat do YOU vwant?
HANSOM: well, you BLOCKED me, so i had to come HERE to tell you the news.......
HANSOM: i talked to MEENAH for you~!
Cronus perks up again, eyes wide.
CRONUS: and you gavwe up your spot on the team for me?? oh! hansom! that's so kind of you, i don't knowv wvhat-
HANSOM: not QUITE.....
HANSOM: but i DID make her promise to give YOU A SPOT on the team if ANYTHING HAPPENED to another player~!
Cronus considers this.
CRONUS: like a reserwve spot?
You nod!
Honestly, you've been friends with Cronus for longer than any of your other pals. You feel a little sad whenever he blocks you, because you remember a time you both would happily play together as wigglers. He used to be so carefree and full of life. That is, until he discovered quadrants...
Ever since then, he'd been so strange and distant. You've never understood quadrants. You're perfectly happy just being friends! You've never wanted to fill a quadrant at all, just spend time with lots of different people. You always worried something was wrong with yourself, but living like this has always been enough.
But not for Cronus.
CRONUS: thanks, i guess. still kind of selfish of you not to givwe up YOUR spot, but wvhatevwer.
You see through Cronus's facade. He's appreciative.
HANSOM: and with a team THAT BIG~?
HANSOM: someone is BOUND to not be able to make it~!
You pat his shoulder. Cronus grins. For just a moment, you see a flash of how things used to be. Two carefree land-dwelling sea-trolls, friends forever...
But those days are gone. You feel a pang of melancholy.
CRONUS: hey, uh.
You perk up at Cronus's tone.
CRONUS: do you wvant to take a race around the vwineyard again? for old time's sake?
Your eyes get big and round. You nod hastily, unable to contain yourself! You hug Cronus tightly.
HANSOM: OF COURSE i'd love to, cronus~!!
Soon, you're both on your lusii, grinning competitively at each other at the starting line. Just like when you were wigglers, Porgas holds the flag, counting down.
PORGAS: five laps, alright, boy5?
PORGAS: on your mark5!
Your heart races. Cronus looks determined. You're the happiest you've been in ages!
PORGAS: get 5et!
You both lower yourselves down on your steeds, eyes on the track.
PORGAS: GO!
Porgas waves the flag, and you both bolt. As usual, Cronus's lusus is faster, floating ephemerally above the ground, but Elkdad digs his hooves into the dirt to quickly catch up. You're neck-and-neck, and you playfully reach across to bat Cronus upside the head! He laughs, sending him a little off balance, but returns with a playful shove of his own!
CRONUS: looks like your lusus has stayed in shape, but you lost your edge as a jockey, han!
You laugh as you both crest the first turn. Your lusii jostle together. Elkdad snorts.
HANSOM: you're one to TALK~!
You finish the first lap around the vineyard in record time, pulling ahead about one elkdad-length. Cronus isn't deterred, though. You pat Elkdad's neck encouragingly. He snorts again, confidently.
CRONUS: yawvn! i guess i can start taking this seriously, then, huh?
With a burst of speed and a whinny, Seahorsedad zooms forth, pulling ahead for the second lap! You're astonished!
HANSOM: WHOA~!
HANSOM: you're so SPEEDY~!
To your surprise, when Cronus looks back, he looks... Sad. You're caught off guard. Isn't he having fun? You falter for a moment as you watch Cronus withdraw something from a pouch on Seahorsedad's saddle.
CRONUS: it's been real... buddy.
Time slows to a crawl. Cronus tosses the round object at Elkdad's feet and your lusus suddenly cries out and halts all at once, his legs entangled by the net that had sprung from the device. A collapsible net?? You don't have much time to ponder this, as you're forcefully flung from elkdad's back.
At these speeds, getting thrown off your steed is dangerous. The ground rushes at you at sixty miles per hour and you roll, tumbling hand-over-face onto the dirt pavement. You hear a crack and cry out as you land, skidding off the track and thudding against a tree.
You're stunned, but quickly, pain overtakes being stunned. Your horn is broken, you can see a chunk of it lying a few feet away. You don't dare move, your back twisted out of shape, your whole body in pain. You look to the track. Elkdad is squirming, his legs still entangled in the net, one of his antlers cracked off to match yours.
Cronus dismounts his steed, stepping towards you.
CRONUS: you okay, champ?
You don't look at him. For the first time in your life, you're... Angry.
HANSOM: Ghk...
HANSOM: you... TRICKED me.......
Cronus laughs. It's a lighthearted laugh. He crouches, prodding your severed horn. You hiss in pain, the edges of your vision getting blurry.
CRONUS: that's pretty accusatory of you, there, bud.
CRONUS: all i savw vwas your lusus stepping into a pothole and you careening off like a ragdoll.
You can't respond, only cough. You see blood pooling under your mouth, feeling it drip more every time you hack.
CRONUS: pity it had to shake out like this, han. you really should'wve givwen me that spot.
CRONUS: still! can't thank you enough for opening up that reserwve spot for me. meenah wvouldn't hawve listened to anyone else.
You're not just in pain, now. You're... Heartbroken. Cronus grabs your horn and twists your head upwards to face him. You cry out.
From this angle, you can see Elkdad getting to his feet. To your relief, other than his broken antler, it looks like he's okay. He snorts, looking ready to charge at Cronus, but seahorsedad floats into his way. You shut your eyes, trying to shake your head.
CRONUS: this is a bummer. i just vwanted to break your leg or something, but...
Cronus winces. You squeeze your eyes shut, shaking. You're not ready to die, but you have to face it with dignity. But to your surprise, Cronus lets you go, your head clunking against the tree.
You see Elkdad crying out, his voice faint. You muster your last ounce of strength to shoo your lusus away. You don't want him to have to see this. You slump against the tree, throbbing pain overtaking you as you watch elkdad run. You hope he goes back to the sea... He'll be happier there.
CRONUS: listen, i knovw this is shitty of me, but, um.
CRONUS: not sure i can finish the job. blood makes me kinda squeamish. you understand, right?
In response, you cough blood. Cronus laughs awkwardly, getting back onto seahorsedad.
CRONUS: you understand.
Be Cronus. ==>
You are now Cronus.
Well that was awkward! It didn't work out like you'd planned, with some minor maiming, but hey. Your master plan worked out in your favor! And with the added bonus that you got one last race with your old friend Hansom.
You sigh wistfully, leading your lusus back to the stable. Porgas approaches you, confused.
PORGAS: cronu5? where'5 han5om? i 5aw hi5 lu5u5 run off.
You turn to Porgas, sadly. The weight of what happened suddenly hits you.
CRONUS: he...
You pause. What do you tell Porgas? It's not like YOU killed Hansom! In fact, he might not even be dead yet! You can't lie to your new moirail, but you CAN creatively bend the truth.
CRONUS: fell.
Porgas looks shocked, hugging you suddenly.
PORGAS: oh god5, cronu5... ju5t when you reconnected with your friend, and that happen5??
You hug Porgas back, nodding.
CRONUS: i really missed him... i can't beliewve this happened.
CRONUS: to think i'd havwe to wvatch my best friend...
You trail off, sniffling. You feel so awful! Porgas is right, no one should have to watch their best friend tragically crash into a tree during a race. You feel bad for yourself. This might hurt as much as what Hansom is going through. Maybe more!
Porgas ushers you into your respiteblock, bringing you your usual milk and cookies, looking sad for you.
Honestly? This is pretty great. You'd have sabotaged a race like this sooner if you knew it'd net you some cuddle time with your new moirail!
PORGAS: i'll give you 5ome... alone time. i'm 5ure this is a hell of a lot to proce55.
You nod. Honestly? It is. When Porgas leaves, you message Meenah, who has unblocked you. Hansom is to thank for that, too. You wish there was some way to thank him.
--- casanovasAdonis began trolling cruelCondescension ---
CA: meenah. bad nevws.
CC: uuuugggggh
CC: look i know hansom probably told you about our stupid convo but im not going to give you anything better than a reserve spot jackass
CC: dont think this means i LIKE this either
CA: this isn't about that! wvell. sort of. it's... hansom.
CC: this betta be important asshoal. i'm up to my neck in cops right the fuck now.
CA: vwhat's a cop?
CC: i dont fuckin know but theyre a buncha bastards
CA: noted.
CA: but seriously. i hawve bad nevws about hansom.
CA: he came owver for a race, like wve used to hawve. and he...
Again. You shouldn't lie! You can't betray your friends' trust, after all.
CA: fell.
CC: oh shit
CC: is he...
CC: shit is he okay?
CA: no. i think he...
This is actually pretty hard. All those memories with Hansom from your wigglerhood... Racing. Laughing... Having fun. Those were all gone, now. Behind you, all because of a tragic racing accident. You find yourself tearing up. This is so sad for you!
CA: i think he's gone, meenah. i vwatched him against a tree and i just couldn't do anything. god, i'm such a covward.
CC: oh... oh gods
CC: cronus...
CC: youre not a coward jesus dont talk shit like that
CC: i know we dont sea eye to eye on shit but like
CC: it wasnt your fault
You sniffle, laying down on the respiteslab.
CA: not my fault?
CC: yeah shit like that is just
CC: it happens
CC: you cant blame yourself for it
CA: i think you're right, meenah. it... had to happen that wvay. it vwas fate.
CC: yeah and sometimes fates a bitch
CC: but hansom is in a betta place
CA: you really think so?
CC: yeah
CC: in fact we can all chip in for like
CC: a memorial idk
CC: some kind of... corpse party. to celebrate all the cool shit he did
CA: that's really kind of you, meenah. i'm sorry, i didn't mean to dump all this on to you, i just didn't knovw wvho else to talk to about this. it's really hard for me.
CC: i bet champ. dont worry.
You pause.
CA: soooooo.
CA: this means i can play the game wvith you guys, right?
Meenah takes a moment to respond.
CC: uh, yeah. i guess so?
CC: like i guess that WAS hansoms last wish and everything
CA: nice! okay cool beans, talk to you soon, meenah!
CA: i mean. my door's open if you ewver vwant to offer me some... different sort of comfort.
CA: ;)
CC: uh
CC: look i gotta go for now we can deal w this later.
--- cruelCondescension ceased trolling casanovasAdonis ---
You feel on top of the moon! For the first time in your life, someone didn't say NO to your advances! Sure, "uh" was still not "yes," but it was certainly a step up. You wonder how long you can get pity from this for. Play your cards right and you might even earn some pity-smooches! You lay back, hands behind your head.
In spite of the tragic accidental death of your friend, you feel pretty great about today. Everything's coming up Cronus.
Be Hansom. ==>
You can no longer be Hansom.
Be Porgas. ==>
You are now Porgas.
Taking care of Cronus has always been a big job, but you never knew this day would come. You've known Hansom for nearly as long as Cronus, you remember helping him build Fellouw's Institute.
You approach Hansom's corpse, your eyes shining with tears. There he is, mangled and bloody, his horn broken off a few feet from where he had come to rest. You take the horn fragment, clutching it tightly as you fall to your knees, sobbing.
Your mind whirs through all the memories you made together.
Be Past Porgas. ==>
You are now past Porgas, eating dinner with your friend, Hansom, shortly after building the Fellouw Institute, celebrating your success in a small way.
HANSOM: i COULDN'T have done it without you, buddy~
Hansom says, sighing happily. You grin, taking a bite of grubsteak.
PORGAS: non5en5e. without you, none of thi5 would have happened! it wa5 all your idea.
HANSOM: and my idea would be NOTHING without YOUR HELP~
You both laugh. The air in the room is comfortable.
HANSOM: but there IS one thing you could do me AS A FAVOR~
PORGAS: yeah?
HANSOM: see. LOWBLOODS aren't the only people who need HELP and REHABILITATION.....
HANSOM: all power to HER IMPERIOUS BENEVOLENCE, but HIGHBLOODS are often in need of help, too~
PORGAS: i certainly agree.
HANSOM: but since HIGHBLOODS can't be CULLED, getting help can be TRICKY........
You nod. You can see where this is going.
HANSOM: you know my friend CRONUS~?
PORGAS: the other 5eatroll? yeah. he'5 kind of...
You search for the right words.
PORGAS: fa5cinating!
Hansom laughs.
HANSOM: he's a real JACKASS is what he is. he needs SOMEONE to TAKE CARE OF HIM.......
HANSOM: i've got this vineyard that i'm not using. i'm planning to PUT HIM IN CHARGE OF IT, but it's just kind of a ruse.
HANSOM: in REALITY, i want you to TAKE CARE OF HIM.
PORGAS: i 5ee. he think5 he'll be in charge, but really i'll be looking after him.
HANSOM: EXACTLY~!
HANSOM: i know how much you love WORKING WITH YOUR HANDS~!
PORGAS: of cour5e! a vineyard 5ounds 5o nice.
PORGAS: 5o it'll be like we're culling cronu5 in 5ecret.
HANSOM: PRECISELY~
You both finish your meals, leaning back in your seat.
PORGAS: 5ound5 great to me, han. i can't wait to meet him.
HANSOM: he's a HANDFUL, but i'm sure you'll get along~!
Be present Porgas. ==>
Your hand squeezes around the piece of your friend's horn. You can't bear to look at him any more. You'll have another vineyard employee dispose of the corpse, later.
You silently promise Hansom something, hoping he can sense it from wherever he is, now, but you promise that you'll make good on your promise.
You'll never forget him, and you'll take care of Cronus.
It's what Hansom would have wanted.