nine
.
September 15th
“Chris?” Sydney asks, lingering at the entrance of her office.
Christen looks up from her computer, she’s been typing in her notes about the preservation process on the ointment jar she’s been working on. They found it with the lid still on and Becky carefully removed the substance that remained inside. She’s been doing testing on it to determine the contents and is waiting for the lab reports to return. Christen has been cleaning the lid, uncovering the carved inscription.
“What’s up?” she asks, removing her glasses and looking up at her.
“Have a minute?” Syd asks.
“Yeah, I can take a break,” Christen nods, leaning back in her seat.
Syd enters the office and eases into the leather seat across from her. “I wanted to check in and ask how’s it going with Tobin? Have you two talked?”
Christen nods. She shared with her on Wednesday about Tobin and what had occurred at the theater and her concern for her after she shared her side of the story of meeting her in Egypt and her being Sitre In. After Tobin had recovered from her shock of Christen telling her she was Sitre In, she listened attentively as Christen came clean, telling her everything, how she went through the Underground to the Field of Reeds and including how she gave her the necklace. She showed her the drawings she had made in her sketchbook, explaining to her how she learned to use a pencil while they spent the weekend together. When she told Tobin that she was sent by the Gods, Tobin’s face had remained unreadable, she just sat there listening impassively and without question.
Christen couldn’t get a read on her and Tobin offered no opinion of her thoughts.
“This is a lot to take in, Chris,” Tobin had said quietly, looking at her thoughtfully. “I think I need some time to digest it all,” she looks up quickly at her, “and it’s not because I don’t believe you or anything,” she reassures her. “It’s just,” she hugs herself and gives her a tight smile, “there’s a lot of stuff I need to reconcile after learning all of this.”
Christen had nodded and offered her two books to take home, one about Hatshepsut and the other about Egyptian’s beliefs about the Afterlife. Tobin gave her a hug and a kiss and said she would read them and they could talk later.
They’ve spoken each day since, mainly checking in on their day and keeping things light. It makes Christen worry because Tobin hasn’t mentioned anything about it and she’s nervous to bring it up. Last night Christen accepted Tobin’s invitation to come to her house for lunch and to talk and her stomach has been jumpy ever since.
“I’m going over to her place tomorrow for lunch and then we’re going to talk,” Christen informs her best friend.
“It’s going to be fine, CP,” Syd assures her, “you guys are soulmates, I’m sure she just needs time to wrap her head around everything,”
Christen nods, feeling deep down things would work out, but there’s that sliver of doubt that keeps nagging at her. “I just hope this isn’t making her suffer,” she says quietly, “bringing up memories and stuff.”
Sydney nods understandingly, “Yeah, it might take a while,” she states.
“Ali said Tobin cancelled training with Ash yesterday and she wasn’t at work today,” Christen frets, “I hope she’s not overwhelmed with this or doing something destructive,”
“Ali has told me how responsible Tobin is,” Syd assures her, “she’s probably just really having to think about things and read up on soulbonds and how you two are connected.”
Christen sighs, “I just want tomorrow to be here,”
XXXX
September 16th
Help Christen understand
Christen takes one final look at her arm, Tobin’s words calming her and reassuring her they would be fine. She’s ready to face whatever questions Tobin has and she’s pleased they truly talk about their past. She’s curious what Tobin has to say, does she remember? “Come on girls,” she commands and the two pups follow her up the driveway. Once again, Christen pauses to take in Tobin’s home, getting a better look at it in the daylight. It’s on the beach, like, exit the back door to the sand and the ocean on the beach. The house itself is modest, it’s a three bedroom, two bath ranch with cedar shingle siding with six stairs leading up to the front full across front porch, the house sits on higher ground. Small shrubs and natural long blade grasses tastefully landscape the property in a low maintenance way. There’s no grass, just sand and a few piles of interesting rocks and driftwood to give focal points along a path that leads towards the back of the house.
Tobin had insisted it was fine to bring the dogs, telling Christen they would enjoy hanging on the beach and playing in the water. Christen agreed and was reassured by her enthusiasm for having the dogs accompany her. Maybe this talk wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Tobin is grinning at her while leaning out the open screened front door, squatting to greet the dogs when they rush up the stairs to her. They’ve taken a liking to her already and Christen finds it sweet. What she found surprising was how they listened to Tobin as closely as did they to her. It’s the first time that has ever happened. The dogs don’t even listen to her parents or sisters nearly as well as they mind Tobin. Christen looks at Tobin’s extend arm while she pets the dogs, making out her soulmark for the day.
Help Tobin find her answers
Christen finds it interesting that their marks are now written in English and since they aren’t hieroglyphs, they are much smaller on the inside of their forearms.
Tobin straightens up and smiles at her when Christen stands before her. She moves close and wraps her arms around her and gives her a sweet kiss. “I’ve missed holding you,” she murmurs against her neck and squeezing her close before letting her go.
“I’ve missed being held by you,” Christen replies, giving her small smile, “are you okay?” she asks with concern.
Tobin nods, “Yeah, I think so,” giving her a small nod.
“Are we okay?” Christen asks, feeling a sudden rush of anxiety overtaking her. She feels the tears in her eyes. This need to know where they stand before she walks in Tobin’s house is strong. She needs to prepare herself if the answer isn’t certain.
Tobin’s eyes widen at Christen’s reaction and moves in again to hold her, “Of course we are,” she says as she slowly sways back and forth, “I have some questions but I know we can work it out,”
“I’m so sorry to have upset you,” Christen rushes out, “I didn’t know how to bring it up and I didn’t know you were feeling so connected to the items,”
“It’s okay,” Tobin assures her patiently, “it’s okay,” she hushes, kissing the side of Christen’s hair. “It wasn't you, it was seeing those artifacts. There’s some things you need to know and I think I have an idea that might help us figure this out,”
Christen nods against Tobin’s shoulder, “Okay,” she says feeling small.
“Chris,” Tobin says tenderly, “come on, let’s just focus on finding answers, okay? Don’t worry about it,”
She doesn’t know how Tobin can be so understanding and forgiving, but she goes with it. “Okay,” she says, stepping back and nodding as she wipes her eyes.
“Come on,” Tobin puts her arm around her shoulder and with her free hand lifts the straps of the bag Christen is carrying and takes it from her. “Let’s go see what type of trouble the puppies are getting into,” she chuckles. They find the dogs at the sliding glass patio door in Tobin’s family room, looking out at the beach and water, tails wagging.
“Are you hungry?” Tobin asks, “I thought I’d grill some fish, I got a nice piece of sea bass and fresh veggies,”
“Sounds good,” Christen agrees, feeling much better now, “what can I do to help?”
“I have all the stuff to make Sangria if you’d like to have some,” Tobin shrugs, “I didn’t know if you wanted to drink today.”
“I think I’d rather be sober,” Christen admits, “but I can make a juice spritzer without the alcohol if you want,”
“Sounds good,” Tobin grins at her, “the cutting board is in that bottom cabinet and the knifes are in the rack.”
After washing their hands, the two work in the kitchen together, Tobin asking if she’s okay with the seasonings she wants to use on the fish and Christen asking her if the fruits she’s selected would taste okay to Tobin. They’re both a little shy with each other, comfortable yet both a little tentative.
Tobin leans against the counter, looking over at Christen. She can feel eyes on her and looks up from the counter. “I’m sorry,” Tobin says genuinely, “I know I kind of freaked out and then shut you out a bit these past few days,”
Christen sets down the knife and mimics Tobin and leans against the counter to face her. “I think I understand,” she acknowledges, “you had a lot on you mind and I’m sure there were things you weren’t ready to talk to me about,” she waves her hands in the air between them, “with all of this going on,”
Tobin inhales deeply, letting the air escape her lungs slowly, “Yeah,” she agrees, “it’s been pretty wild,” she states, looking sad, “but I never should have locked you out. You’re my partner, my soulmate and I’m sorry I didn’t come to you or at least been in touch more,” she says remorsefully.
“I was giving you space,” Christen clarifies, “if I had really felt you needed to talk to me, you can be sure I would have been calling or camped outside on your porch.” She offers her a small smile, “Like you said earlier, I know we’re going to be okay and we just need to work through this together.”
“Okay,” Tobin breathes, accepting the hug Christen gives her. “To tell you the truth, I’ve mostly been reading the books you lent me,” she says, “I took off a couple of days to get through them. They’re fascinating.” She frowns, “Then I got a migraine yesterday and that sucked, but I feel okay today,”
“Oh honey,” Christen says tenderly, “are you sure you feel okay?” She doesn’t know anyone who suffers from migraines and isn’t sure what the lasting effects are. “You didn’t need to read them so quickly,” she frowns.
“Uh, yeah I did,” Tobin says, squeezing her tight, “it’s been really bothering me and I wanted to learn about soulbonds and I really didn’t understand all of the details about the afterlife beliefs of the Egyptians,” she states, “plus, Hatshepsut was a badass!” she chuckles.
“But you missed work,”
“I have plenty of sick days and vacation time,” she dismisses it easily, “they were cool about it,” She gives Christen a kiss and as she moves her head back, she feels Christen’s hand on the back of her neck, kissing her again, deeply with need. Tobin reciprocates and she opens her mouth as Christen probes her lips with her tongue, feeling that shock like jolt when their tongues explore each other. Her hand moves to grip Christen’s hip, feeling Christen plant her hands on her ass and push them closer.
She moans into Christen’s mouth when she feels Christen position her leg in between hers, turning them so Tobin is up against the counter. The friction she feels is turning her on so much. She lets her free hand glide up Christen’s side, then moves in to softly cup her breast in her palm. She smirks while kissing when Christen moans rather deeply in her mouth when she flicks her nipple with her thumb. They break for air, both breathing heavily and pull back to look into one another’s eyes.
Tobin is losing herself looking into Christen’s intoxicating eyes, trying to decide if they’re more grey or green when she hears a loud rumble coming from Christen’s belly. She chuckles at Christen’s mortified expression.
“Guess I should get the fire lit to feed you,” she smiles at her, aware of the underlying meaning.
Christen rolls her eyes at her and shakes her head, “I didn’t eat breakfast,” she shares, “I was kind of nervous.”
“I understand,” Tobin says kindly, “give me one more kiss and we’ll get started.” Christen smiles and gives her a quick peck on the lips and they hug once more. They return to their work stations and Tobin turns to her, “Will the puppies be okay outside? I don’t have a fence, will they stay by us?”
Christen nods, “Yes, they’re good girls, they don’t wander,”
Tobin grins, “Good girls,” she says happily, “cool, they can hang with us,”
Christen smiles and finishes cutting the carrots and puts them in the serving dish.
“I’m going to start the fire,” Tobin informs her as she slides the tray of fish in the refrigerator, “I’ll let this marinate a little more.”
“What else can I do?” Christen offers.
Tobin nods towards the counter, “There’s plates and stuff, if you want to bring those out and then the drinks? I’ve got everything else covered.”
“Perfect,” she says.
Entering Tobin’s patio for the first time, Christen feels the stone pavers under her bare feet and she looks to the left to see Tobin stoking an open fire within a stone rectangle brick box that is waist high. Surrounding her on two sides is a stone wall acting as a windbreak for the fire and the firepit in the center of the large area. Next to the cooking area is along cement counter and beside that is a cooler on a metal stand. On the far wall is what looks like a pizza oven with the large hole and space underneath that holds cut wood. It’s a cozy area, shaded by the large tree on the side of the house. To her right is a larger patio area with a table and chairs and two lounge chairs fully extended. Behind it against the house is an outdoor sofa. Steps lead down to the sand and when she walks to the edge she sees some grasses planted along the perimeter of the patio.
She moves to the counter and sets the tray down. “You cook over fire?” she questions when she sees the grill grate leaning against the wall.
Tobin smiles and nods, “Yeah, I like it better, it reminds me of camping and cooking over the firepit.”
“That’s so neat,” Christen steps closer, watching as Tobin adds a couple of pieces of thicker wood, carefully feeding the small flames.
“Yeah,” Tobin smiles enthusiastically at her, “do you like to camp?”
Christen nods, “Yes,” she chuckles, “I love it, it’s part of my job,”
“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” Tobin says, “you have to had some wild times,” She gestures her to follow her to the table and sit down. She looks over and checks on the dogs, both are lying on the patio looking out at the sand and waves.
“We’ve got a little time,” Tobin declares, pouring a glass of the juice Christen made and offering it to her before pouring one for herself, “tell me one of the funniest things you’ve ever had happen when you were camping,”
Christen smiles, thinking that usually when people ask her about her trips, they ask about the danger or the excitement, not what was funny. Leave it to Tobin to keep it lighthearted. “Okay,” she agrees, “this one time, our group was in Virginia, looking for the remains of the Jamestown Settlement…”
XXXX
Lunch is over, dishes are washed and they two took the dogs for a short walk along the beach, walking barefoot in the wet sand and tossing driftwood to Morena and Khaleesi to fetch. They’re settled on the outdoor couch, sitting close together, shaded partially by the overhang of the house.
“So,” Tobin begins, “I’ve read both books you gave me and I understand how the Egyptians viewed their Afterlife. I think you should know some of things I haven’t shared with you to give you the larger picture of me and some things that might help you see how this all fits together.”
“So,” Tobin begins, leaning forward resting her elbows on her knees with her fingers interlocked as she stares at the stone flooring, “I was pretty carefree growing up,” she states, “my family is pretty well off and I never wanted for much. My friends, pretty much everyone in my high school, were all in similar situations. There wasn’t much poverty in our area, if there was, they hid it pretty well. Drug use was pretty recreational and I stayed away from it. At the time, I was shooting for a scholarship to play soccer and didn’t want any black marks on my record, you know? So, it was while I was in college, I met people from different walks of life, different social and economic levels, things like that, I learned not everyone was as privileged as I was and while I like, never held it over people, I realized that just by the clothes I wore, the car I drove and the vacations I talked about really spoke about me more than I ever thought.” She licks her lips and nods her head, as if she’s planning what she wants to say.
“And like I said, I was pretty carefree, my soulmark didn’t really mean much, I was having too much fun and felt too young to want to settle down. I always just thought I’d let it happen and not seek it out, you know? But my new friends, they all came from different places and they all had different goals and some were super eager to meet their soulmate. I knew I wasn’t mature enough for that kind of relationship and I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I was out of school. I basically thought I’d shoot for playing for the National Team, maybe go play soccer overseas for a few years and then see what happens. But a lot of my friends, they, like, had goals. Social justice. Improve poverty. Go into politics. Become a doctor to heal sick people. Become a therapist to help people.”
She looks over at Christen, her expression embarrassed, “I kinda felt selfish but I didn’t know what I wanted to do.”
“Tobin,” Christen chastises her, “you were young, the fact that being around new people raised your level of awareness is pretty impressive,” she wants to assure her, “That doesn’t happen with a lot of people.”
Tobin gives her a half shrug, looking unconvinced, “I hear you,” she says, “but I felt kind of like the stereotypical jock, taking easy classes and playing sports and going to parties. But anyway, my sophomore I started dating this girl. Alex. Alex Morgan. She was beautiful and ambitious; she was a political science major and she wanted to change the world. She wanted equal rights for women and minorities, she wanted to change the healthcare system and reform the prison system. She was super smart, super gorgeous and she used to tease me that sex sells in politics and it would help her get what she wants for others.” She gives her a half smile and it doesn’t meet her eyes and her shoulders droop, “We were together for two years and I thought this was as close to love I could get without meeting my soulmate. We were so opposite but it worked, she hounded me to study and apply myself, she encouraged me to think about politics and my future and widen my world view. I hounded her to have fun and not be so serious all the time, encouraged her that she could change the world and make a positive impact on people’s lives.”
“She sounds pretty special,” Christen says, almost choking on the words, but having the feeling that this story isn’t going to end well for Alex. Her gut feeling is strong on this.
“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “she was,” she says and sighs. She scoots over closer to Christen, placing her hand on Christen’s leg, just above the knee. It’s not a sexual move, rather a need for contact and comfort and it makes Christen slide her leg closer so they were touching.
“We were in a terrible car accident the beginning of our senior year,” Tobin states quietly. “Alex was driving and it was raining,” she says, her voice becoming uneven. “A truck swerved into our lane and hit us head on. Ash was in the front, I was in back because my knee was in a brace and I had stretched out across the backseat. Alex…” she stops and licks her lips and lets out a deep sigh, “Alex died instantly, they said the engine crushed her legs and the steering wheel crushed her chest. Um, her..uh, seat pushed back and trapped my leg. Ash’s seat pushed back too and caught my other leg and foot, her head was practically in my lap. A metal rod was stuck in my neck, it came off from the truck I guess.”
“Tobin!” Christen exclaims, moving closer and taking a hold of her hand and squeezing it. “You don’t have to tell me this if it’s too much, sweetheart,”
Tobin gives her a sickly smile, her face much paler than before, “I do, though,” she says, “it’s important so you know why I am the way I am,” she says, “I think me telling you this will fill in the missing pieces you know.”
Christen nods slowly, getting the strong feeling she’s right.
“So, I was screaming, scared to death and then I could see Alex, her head was facing me and her eyes were open. She was just staring at me, just…lifeless. I knew she was dead, I could feel it. Ash is screaming and panicking that her back and her neck hurt and she couldn’t feel her legs.” Tobin wipes at her eyes and then shifts, positioning herself on the couch diagonally, one shoulder against the back cushion and her arms extended, mimicking holding something. “I knew enough to hold Ash’s head straight and keep her still because of a neck injury and ‘cause I knew she would lose it if she saw Alex that way.” She swallows roughly, dropping her hands and clearing her throat and then taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.
“It seemed like it took them forever to get me and Ash out. It was scary and I was terrified and just like, stayed frozen. People were shouting for me not to move because of the rod in my neck and all I could do was look at Alex while I held Ash’s head. I was starting to blackout when they got me out of the car and once I hit the Emergency Room, things got super blurry.” She massages her forehead for a moment and glances at Christen who is leaning forward looking at her earnestly.
“I woke up, like a week later,” Tobin states, her voice low and gravelly, “I had suffered a stroke from a blood clot in my neck and I couldn’t walk. I…I could only talk in what I know now is Coptic and people just thought I was out of mind and babbling because they couldn’t understand me. But, like, I knew in my head what I was saying…it was so frustrating. I couldn’t move my right arm, actually my whole right side was numb and wouldn’t do anything.”
“Honey…” Christen sniffles as she thinks of how terrifying this must have been for her.
Tobin gives her a sickly smile, “Yeah, well, obviously I’m okay now and my speech came back pretty quick though it took a few months before I was walking normally and could grip things and talk without a slur. The slur comes back sometimes when I’m super tired but that’s about the only lasting effects of my injuries beside migraines, but I only get them every once in a while.” She looks down at her hands again, moving her left one and covering Christen’s that is on her thigh. “Ash wasn’t so lucky,” she says mournfully, “she was, is, paralyzed from the waist down,” she licks her lips again, “They said she would have been dead or a quadriplegic if I hadn’t held her head in place. Her spinal cord was nearly severed and one move might have killed her.” She swallows dryly and clears her throat, “We went to the same rehab place, roomed together and stuff and pushed each other as hard as we could. It was evident real fast that Ash wasn’t going to be able to walk again and that’s when she was at her lowest.”
“I was released from there way before Ash was and I still had my apartment on campus. My parents wanted me to come home, but I wanted to stay and be able to visit Ash. She was my best friend and her family couldn’t afford to move her closer to their home in Florida or visit for a long time. Plus, I didn’t want to be smothered. Everyone was super concerned, but I had lost Alex, lost my will passion for soccer and had this new thing to think about.” She looks over at Christen and extends her left arm, “When I woke up after my stroke, my soulmark had changed. It was those hieroglyphs, and I couldn’t figure them out.”
“Oh, wow,” Christen’s eyes widen, thinking now she might understand how Tobin found her.
“I was a mess for months and having these super vivid dreams. About Egypt. Like, living there in ancient times. It happens now only when I get high or drunk and then go to sleep buzzed. It’s so real, like, I pick up right from the last dream and it’s this like, never ending story of my life back then or something. I lived there and did things and had a relationship with this beautiful and powerful woman. I know now that woman was you.”
Christen swallows, feeling a lump in her throat.
“That time was crazy, I lost my scholarship for soccer because I didn’t want to play anymore and I had to figure out if I wanted to take classes and try to graduate. Ashlyn was in a deep depression and I went there every day, helping her do more rehab sessions after the staff left for the day. I knew what to do, since I had to do it too and the exercises I didn’t know, Ash taught me. I found out that I liked it. I felt something deeply rewarding every time Ash made it to another weight level, had more endurance. Met her goals.”
“I changed my major senior year, knowing I wouldn’t graduate in time. When I told my folks I wanted to be a physical therapist, they were shocked, to say the least. I was not a very academic student. They knew I was serious, so they made a deal. If I could keep a B average, they’d pay for whatever schooling I wanted to pursue.”
“Wow,” is all Christen can comment. She’s fascinated by Tobin’s story.
Tobin gives her a small grin, nodding at her. Her color is slowly returning and she appears calmer than before. “My family and friends were super concerned about me because I had changed,” she says, offering Christen a small shrug, “like, I wasn’t up to party much anymore and I really got focused on doing something with my life. I guess I was different, like, I wasn’t so go with the flow and whatever happens it would be fine. I had goals and studied and I reconnected with my faith, and like, I actually starting having deep conversations with my sisters and friends about life and stuff and that wasn’t something I ever did before the crash.”
“So, anyway,” Tobin gives Christen a small smile, “my parents were on board with me going to school, but they came and visited a lot more to check in on me.”
“If that happened to my kid I would too,” Christen interrupts, feeling slightly overwhelmed by Tobin’s story.
Tobin chuckles lightly, “Well, the school thing stuck,” she says, “I have a Master’s in Physical Therapy and my specialty is Neurology and Sport. The clinic I’m at specializes in spinal injuries, especially those patients who are athletes.”
Christen nods, getting a better understanding of what Tobin does. She knew she was a physical therapist but not her specialty. No wonder she was so adept at maneuvering in a wheelchair.
“Ash and I lived together, we moved into an accessible house and she finished her sports marketing degree while I was doing my stuff. Ali came into the picture and Ash really
blossomed and was almost back to her old self. Neither of us were really the same after the accident though.”
Christen swivels to face her and curls her legs under, scooting closer and taking Tobin’s hand again, “How so for you?” she questions caringly.
Tobin moves on the couch as well, her knee up against Christen’s and she’s leaning against the back of the couch, “Well, I um, finally found a purpose, you know? Like, soccer was just this thing I was good at, but I really felt something when I was working with the different therapists, like, they made a huge impact in my life, you know? They impacted me deeply and I wanted to do that for others. Yeah, Ash might have been part of the reason at first, but then as my classes progressed, I knew this was what I supposed to be doing,”
Christen hums, glad Tobin has found her passion.
“And the other thing,” Tobin offers, “is how easy it came to me,” she shakes her head, “like, I never really struggled with anatomy or physiology and I made Dean’s List every semester.” She looks at Christen, her eyebrows high and a big smile on her face, “I was not like that before, school was not my gig at all. I went to class and studied so I could play soccer. I used to play video games all the time, I was always looking for a good time. Now, I like to read and learn things all the time. I like to hang with my friends, just talking about whatever, like, I don’t want or need to get wasted to have fun.”
“That’s really interesting,” Christen nods at her, “I’ve heard of this happening to people after serious trauma,”
Tobin is nodding her head rapidly, “Yeah, I read about it,” she says quickly, “it’s so wild.” She thinks about it for a minute, “I think the reason my classes were so easy for me was that I already had that knowledge, you know? Like, from a past life.”
Christen nods thoughtfully, “Since Sitre In was a doctor, you think that’s why?”
“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, “I mean, maybe in a different lifetime too as well,” she shrugs, “Maybe I’ve always been in the medical field, who knows what other pasts we’ve had together.”
Christen nods. “So, that all happened on the East Coast,” Christen notes, “how did the three of you get out here?”
“My Aunt Sharon passed away,” Tobin explains, “she was my Godmother and she willed me one of her houses. She was in real estate and had a lot of rental houses over the years. This was before Air B and Bs were popular. Anyway, I was still in school when that happened, so I rented it out for a few years and made a nice little nest egg before coming out here. That’s how I ended up here in Santa Cruz. Besides, there were too many memories back there for me and Ash and her and Ali had been talking about moving. They had gotten really serious and Ali had gotten her Masters and was looking to teach somewhere. It all fell into place. We researched the area and found a pretty big community of wheelchair athletes and that interested Ash. Ali found a job at San Fran State. I found a cool physical therapy place to work at and it just happened, like it was meant to be.”
“Hum,” Christen sighs, now thinking of Gods and the universe paving the way for these things to fall into place so they could be together. “Did you ever think about your soulmark?”
Tobin shakes her head, “After the crash I knew I wasn’t in the right headspace to pursue anything,” she states, “I was getting my life back together, still mourning Alex and trying to be there for Ash,” She says, “I researched hieroglyphics but never seriously looked deeper than that. I figured it would happen when it was supposed to happen.”
“Right place at the right time,” Christen murmurs, “What about you speaking Coptic? Like how does that happen? How do you feel when it’s happening?”
Tobin shifts down on the couch, resting her head on the back cushion and Christen thinks she looks adorable and childlike in this position. She rests her arm on the back cushion and rests her head against her hand and smiles softly at her as Tobin collects her thoughts.
“It just happens,” she shrugs, “like, it doesn’t happen a lot, because I don’t like, party really heavy much anymore. But I go to say something and it comes out. Usually when I’m pretty high or drunk. I remember pretty much everything unless I’m super drunk. If I’m high, I remember it all and that’s really weird. So, it doesn’t happen often lately, but man, did it freak out my family!” she chuckles, “It happened the second Christmas after the accident and we all had too much wine and I just was talking and talking and they looked at me like I had three heads. My Mom wanted to take me to the ER. She thought I was having another stroke. It stopped when I sobered up, but they were upset.”
“It’s funny and scary, huh,” Christen offers up.
“Yeah,” Tobin says, “like it freaked me out when I first talked to you because it hadn’t happened in a really long time.” she admits, “But that was mostly because I was really fucked up. I don’t know what Ash was sharing with us the night we met, but it was way more powerful than what I usually toke.”
Christen nods and they fall silent for a moment, both in thought.
“So, I had this idea,” Tobin says, “I want to get high and for you to show me the pictures on your laptop from the expedition and talk to me about them again. I think it might unlock something,” she proposes. “I just feel like you have the answers and hearing about it and seeing photos would kind of put everything in place, you know?”
Christen had suspected that’s why Tobin had requested her to bring her work laptop and she didn’t know for certain why, but now she understands.
“It’s just that since the accident,” Tobin explains, “I’ve had this feeling about Egypt, but it’s always been just slightly out of reach, you know? Like the déjà vu was one thing, but this was much deeper but it only came in flashes and I can’t figure it out,” she says, now holding both of Christen hands and deeply looking into her eyes, “since meeting you, I think I can finally break past it.”
Christen nods silently, now understanding what she wants to do.
Tobin wants to relive her past and she wants her to be her guide.
XXXX