By the blinding lights

Since Judy moved her things into the main house, all except her art supplies; Judy uses it as a studio set up, it seems so much fuller, and like a real home. There’s always noise coming from one of the rooms, whether chatter or music, and it’s a far cry from the silent months after Ted’s death where the boys would stay in their rooms and Jen would nurse a glass of wine alone in front of a blank television screen. Judy brings life into the place, and all of her crystals. Jen wasn’t going to deny her of that though, not like Steve did. She’d even encouraged her to spread them out around the house if she’d wanted, Judy had said it would make it a safe and happy space for them, the kids even had one each in their rooms. Another addition to the house was photographs, of Jen too unlike before where she didn’t feature in any of them, Judy had printed out the ones of them all at the theme park, and additional ones taken randomly. They were mostly of the boys, Judy had gotten a huge one framed of them both and displayed it on the walls so you can see it when entering. Then there was the one Jen found herself starring at more often than she’d like to admit, it’s framed in their room (automatically Judy had moved in there) on their bedside table, picturing the two of them together on the Ferris wheel, cheeks squished together and smiles wide and genuine.

Judy’s been mistaken as Henry’s mother twice this week, the first she’d volunteered to do the school run and he’d made a new friend called William, of course all the other parents new that Jen was Henry’s mom but when Henry and William had asked to arrange a time for them to go over to each other’s houses one day after school, Kate (William’s mom) had asked William to ‘thank Henry’s mom’ when Judy had offered to let them come to their house first. Henry hadn’t even corrected her, and when she arrived home she debated whether or not to tell Jen because she didn’t want to feel like she was imposing or taking over, especially when Jen believed she wasn’t the best mother. She definitely is though, and Judy had told her as much when she’d told her what Kate had said the same night after dinner.

Jen makes out like it’s normal whenever it happens now, and it does happen a lot. People assume they’re married, sometimes they ask ‘who carried who’ and Jen and Judy just smile and slowly walk away. It’s not like they’ve not noticed they act a lot like a couple, holding hands in the grocery store, but Jen puts that down to fearing Judy will scurry off on a hunt for baby sweet corn instead of corn on the cob and then they’ll be in the store forever. The first time they’d gone shopping together Judy had been gone for half an hour looking for cashew nuts, Jen had had to ask them to do a shoutout over the speakers in the store. Then there’s the compliments, they fly out of Judy like water from a tap, smooth, and Jen would find it annoying if it was anyone else. But the way Judy speaks about her to other people; Henry’s teachers, ‘she’s the best mother, she’s always understanding’, to Lorna, (they’d not gone down well; Judy had just gotten a death stare in return when she’d met her), ‘she’s so kind for letting me move in’, to Christopher even, one night where Jen and Judy had ‘double dated’ (it wasn’t a date for them but it was for Alan and Christopher who were eye fucking each other practically the whole night), ‘she looks gorgeous tonight doesn’t she? The colour of her dress really brings out her eyes’.

Neither of them mind though, and maybe they should. But Judy has never felt more at ease than when she’s with Jen. So she’s unapologetic about the compliments and the hand holding because it makes Jen feel wanted, needed. In the way she didn’t when it was just her and Ted, nor Judy with Steve.

*

Judy’s forgotten her packed lunch, and it’s Thursday so Jen doesn’t have any showings, Steve was meant to be calling about the house but he hasn’t as of yet and she doesn’t want to look too eager by making the first move. So Jen decides to forgo the leaflets dumped on her desk by Christopher that morning, showing her Lorna’s advertising, ‘we need new pictures Jen’, and save her emails for later so she can take it to her.

When she arrives Judy’s in the middle of teaching a class, there’s small kids paired up with residents and art supplies are scattered over the floor and tables. Jen hovers by the doorway, nodding to the receptionist whom she recognises by now, she receives a wave in return. Judy doesn’t notice Jen straight away, she’s too busy demonstrating how to blend light and dark coloured chalk together. Fingers smudge on the paper and she scratches away on top of the colour she’s already put down to make it darker. Jen smiles as Judy turns to the students every so often, nodding her head and asking them something, Jen can’t hear from where she’s stood. Then Judy stops demonstrating and starts going around to look at everyone else’s pieces, her smile genuine as she bends to look and chat with the kids. Everything about Judy is so genuine, even the way she compliments some fairly bad painting; Jen can’t really tell what it is. Judy holds it up to everyone then and says it’s a ‘farm yard landscape’, and encourages everyone to gush over it. She’s good with everyone, Jen doesn’t know how she does it.

“Hey.”

A familiar deep voice calls out from beside her and she smiles, carefully making her way to him avoiding all the chairs.

“Hi Abe.”

He pulls the chair out and pats it, she sits and unhooks her bag from her shoulder.

“So, to what pleasure do you owe this visit?” Abe asks.

“Judy forgot her lunch.” Jen replies with a smile, eyes still looking Judy’s way. She shakes her head when she sees her put a dot of red chalk on her nose to make a couple of kids laugh, they do and Judy’s smile grows impossibly wider.

Abe waves a hand in front of her face then, “Earth to Jen…”

“Oh-“ She sits back in her chair, “sorry, what were you saying?”

“Never mind about that,” Abe curiously leans forward closer to her, “tell me something Jen…” He clears his throat. “Is something going on between you and Judy?”

Jen feels her jaw drop and quickly shakes her head, eyes not focussing in one place but somehow gravitating back to Judy still.

“You’re making eyes.” Abe tilts his head.

“What?” Jen finally gets out, stammering a little.

“Don’t tell me you’re just looking at the paintings.” He coaxed, raising his eyebrows in waiting.

Jen sighs, shaking her head. She can’t eel her cheeks turning red and it’s fucking embarrassing, Judy’s her best friend, emphasis on friend. Although the kiss didn’t feel friendly-well it did but-

“We kissed.” Jen admits quietly, head turned away from Abe and honestly she’s not sure he even heard her until he pats her on the back with a sympathetic tut, prompting her to bring her head up.

“But we haven’t spoken about it…” She continues, “so I’m unsure whether it was just a spur of the moment thing.”

Abe nods slowly, “it wasn’t.” He states with an ounce of certainty.

Jen makes a face as if she’s not convinced, but then frowns, “how do you know?”

“I may be old but I’m not blind.” Abe chuckles, schooling his face when Jen sighs deeply. “Talk to her.”

He concludes, patting her hand once before reaching for his walking cane to heave himself up and out of his seat. “Nature calls.” He grumbles, bowing his head and saying ‘talk to her’ again more firmly.

Jen thinks about it, head tipping backwards to stare at the ceiling, would it be so bad? Judy might want to take this further, to try again at what they could have had all those years ago before the universe stepped in and ruined it. But she also might not, Judy may not want to ruin their friendship and Jen’s not sure she wants to either because she doesn’t want to ever live without Judy in her life again. And what if they split up? Or it didn’t work? Would it be awkward from then on?

But then would she always be wondering, what if?

Two hands cup over her eyes then, it’s Judy’s, they’ve got rings on almost every finger, but Jen feigns obliviousness.

“Guess who…”

“Hmm, I dunno, Wendy?”

Judy rounds the table, “shh!! She’ll hear you.”

They turn around to where said Wendy is, hand deep in blue paint, mechanically banging her hand on the table to do hand prints, eyes staring into nothing.

“Maybe not.” Judy quips, covering her mouth to stop herself laughing.

Jen rolls her eyes fondly, “here,” she says, and then pushes over her lunch box. “You forgot this.”

Judy takes it, realisation hits her with a face palm, “oh! You know I knew something was missing in my bag this morning I just couldn’t work out what.” Judy slides the box down to the far end of the table. “Thank you!” She adds with a sincere, soft smile.

Jen shrugs bashfully, hair falling in front of her face which she brushes behind her ear with a smile.

There’s a few moment silence between them, finding watching Wendy ‘finger paint’ fascinating, Jen raises her eyebrows at the hysterical display while Judy questions whether to go help her paint on actual paper instead of the table surface.

“Do you wanna-“

“Judy can we talk-“

They start at the same time, laughing lightly afterwards with slight blushes, deeper on Jen’s cheeks than Judy’s. Judy tips her head, “you first.”

Jen exhales a shuddering breath, pinching her hands together under the table so she knows what she’s about to ask is real, knows Judy’s possible rejection won’t be an imagined nightmare.

“Would you-“ Jen stammers, reconsidering everything until she looks back up at Judy who’s smiling earnestly with the most caring, beautiful eyes she’s ever seen, encouraging her without even knowing it. “Do you want to go out this Saturday? Like just the two of us.” She clarifies, rubbing her lips together aware of how awkward that sounded. We go out together all the time, how’s she gonna know this is any different?

Judy opens her mouth eagerly, about to say ‘sure’ and then Jen murmurs “asadate”, instantly looking away and down at the floor, maybe she can pretend Judy misheard her if she’s outraged at the idea.

Then Judy leaned forward, tilting Jen’s face up with her index finger hooked under her chin, lingering even once Jen’s eyes meet hers again. Her own crinkle with a smile and she looks at her knowingly. “Of course I’d want to go on a date with you…”

And there’s a silent I thought you’d never ask that neither of them address, but it’s been a long time coming for both of them. Judy can’t believe her luck and neither can Jen, she thought for sure it was going to be a mistake, she’s glad she’s right about this one.

Jen’s mouth forms the shape of an ‘o’, releasing a light laugh as she nods her head. “Well, good.” Jen thinks she should say thank you, but she just mirrors Judy’s smile instead and reaches to take her hand, squeezing it before returning her own to her side.

Judy turns around then, there’s mayhem over in one corner and she’s pretty sure the kids have got red paint in their hair. She sighs begrudgingly (for once), “I should get back to work.” Judy says apologetically with a small pout.

Jen shrugs, “it’s fine, you go do what you do,” ushering her away and back to the screaming kids and grumbling elderly’s Jen still can’t fathom how she handles without ripping her hair out. (Or one of the kids’, she’s sure the blonde with red painted pig tails would benefit at this moment in time.)

Judy stands up, patting down her skirt from the creases and then grabbing her lunch box, holding it up again with a small thank you.

“I’ll see you at home?” Jen stands too, taking her bag from the floor to put back on her shoulder.

“See you at home.” Judy echoes, watching Jen leave with an extra swing in her step.

…

“She asked you out then?” Abe pipes up from beside her making Judy startle a little.

She pushes her bangs from her face shyly, “how did you know?”

He taps his nose and winks.

*

Steve ends up calling by the office Friday afternoon ten minutes before Jen’s about to leave for the day, much to her annoyance. He’s cocky, with Christopher too, belittling him with just a look and Jen wants to punch that smirk from his face. Steve decides Jen’s right about selling the house and asks her to get a for sale sign out of there ASAP. They arrange a viewing for a fortnight later, Steve asks for some pamphlets so he can spread them around his associates and Jen complies saying not to worry, she’ll make enough. Jen makes sure to ask to take another look at the house in order to do a staging and take a few photographs, while doing that she’ll hopefully find the keys to TKG arts unless he shifts them before. There’s still the basement that could hold some of Judy’s paintings and she asks to clear that out too, Steve’s reluctant at first saying he needs more time than the beginning of next week to get his house in order before she comes, but she urges on telling him that ‘that’s my job’, and he eventually agrees, telling her to come around in the afternoon, around 3.

While Judy’s at work still, Jen brainstorms ideas for their date, which still feels unreal. She wants it to be special, Judy deserves the best but she has no idea what that is. They can’t go to a club or a bar, they always do that, and a restaurant is pretty basic. Although, Judy loves the new vegan restaurant down town…

“Henry!” Jen calls from the kitchen counter, he’s into all the same stuff Judy is, maybe he can give her an idea.

He hurries down and saddles up beside her on the stool, “a-huh?”

“So…” Jen turns to him, hands interlinking on her knees. “You know Judy and I like each other a lot right?”

Henry nods, “sure.”

“So, if I was to take her out somewhere really special, where do you think she’d like to go?” Jen braces the question casually, as if her whole future with Judy didn’t depend on this date-if doesn’t, she…knows? That. Ha.

Henry scrunches his face, “well surely it’s special if you decide?”

Jen scoffs, “well yeah okay I know-“ Henry smirks teasingly in return.

“I’m kidding, you know she likes music, maybe you could see a show? My teacher Miss Peterson went to see Six this weekend with her husband, Judy loves women empowerment.” Henry says, and Jen reckons Henry was born old at birth, or maybe school are finally teaching students something worth learning.

She smiles in return, “yeah, I guess she does like history too…”, but then she thinks about how it’d pan out, they’d go see the show, sat in silence throughout and then maybe get dinner and go home, the thing she loves most about Judy is when she speaks, when she laughs, and while she may laugh once or twice during the show, Jen doesn’t know whether she wants their first date (assuming she gets another, if this one goes back she might get a second or even third try) to be sat in a dark theatre watching other people.

“Or go to the theme park again! Judy loved the Ferris wheel.”

Henry says and she flicks her eyes up to him, wondering whether he knows why Judy enjoyed it so much.

“Whatever you do-“ Henry hops off the stool to get something from the fridge, a soda it looks like, “don’t take her on a boat because she told me the other day she gets sea sick, and don’t take her to the sushi place beside Burger King because she says the staff there are misogynists.” Henry deadpans, the sound of him cracking open his can filling the silence.

Jen manages to close her jaw before she catches flies and Henry makes some smart remark about it, he’s growing up by the fucking minute it seems, and nod her head, still slightly in a daze by what her kid has just come out with. So, no sushi place then.

“I gotta go, Shandy’s FaceTiming me so we can play temple run together….”

Henry says and then heads upstairs, Jen’s delayed ‘okay thanks…Boop’ following. Jen shakes her head, an amused half smile growing in her face as she Google’s what shows are on nearby, or within a decent distance.

*

Jen (10:45): Lorna’s agreed to have the boys

Jen (10:47): I want to KILL Steve

Jen (10:52): Don’t?

Jen (10:53): Okay if your phone is at home again then…

Judy (10:55): Hi!! (Purple Heart) Sorry, Abe and I were playing cards, he’s winning me 1-3. Please don’t kill Steve, unless you have a murder plan in place for afterwards, I hear Bora Bora is lovely for runaways ;)

Jen (10:56):  is playing games all you ever do at work ??

Judy (10:57): It’s brain exercises!

Jen just sends an eye roll emoji and huffs when the phone rings, fucking Steve, again. He’s called the office more times that any other customer ever has during their full time working with her just within these last few hours. Reluctantly she locks her own phone and picks up the office landline, clearing her throat to greet Steve in the least aggravated tone she can imagine.

“Steve…hi-yes I’m very aware that you have arrangements Monday afternoon, I’ll be fine staging the house myself I mean-it’s not like you and I are strangers now is it?” Jen smiles, she has him, “Alright, bye now.” She hangs up and her face drops immediately, scoffing before picking her own phone back up with four texts from Judy.

Judy (11:00): You okay? X

Judy (11:01): I have to go, it’s lunch time and Kathleen isn’t working tday so I’m helping out, hope you’re alright xxxx

Judy (11:01): Lyv you!

Judy (11:02): sorry, love you (Purple Heart) xxxx

Jen smiles and heart reacts her latest text, sending her own back and finishing with a red heart emoji.

*

Saturday comes around quickly, Lorna’s car even quicker around the corner; Jen nor Judy don’t know how she hasn’t crashed that thing yet, she drives it like she’s driving a super fast jet ski on water, Jen’s unsure whether the boys should even be riding in her death trap on wheels. Her reaction time is excellent, she’ll give her that, and when she pulls up outside the house and beeps the horn twice Jen shimmies the boys out of the door with kisses to heads and overnight rucksacks. Charlie grumbles and gives her a death stare on the way out, rubbing her kiss off of his cheek.

“You owe us. This is a load of bull-“

Jen frowns, “uhh I am your mother so you’ll do as I say,” and taps his cheek with the back of her hand.

Charlie huffs, and then Judy strolls up beside Jen, one arm wrapped around her shoulders. “Well, be as loud as you want because I swear if I hear you when we get back I swear to god I’ll move out.”

Judy sniggers behind Jen, covering it (or trying to) by burying her face into the crook of Jen’s neck.

“See ya.”

“Oh yeah you better go get in that fucking-“ She mouths it, Lorna hates swearing, “car before I snap your legs.”

Charlie makes a noise and upturns his lip, breaking into a smile when Jen mirrors it sarcastically.

“Bye.” He shouts again with a genuine smile, climbing in the car while Jen and Judy stand in the door way, they wave them off a few seconds later and wince when Lorna almost skids into the next door neighbours car while putting her foot down to reverse.

“So…” Jen turns to shut the door, ushering Judy back inside. Her hands come to rest on her shoulders, “our date starts in, like a couple of hours and I still have something to sort so, go finish your painting or whatever you were doing in there-“

“Origami!” Judy chimes in, following as Jen steers her towards the back door.

“Right, you go do that, be dressed and ready for…4.” Jen says, walking out to the guesthouse with her.

“Oh, what sort of outfit shall I wear?”

“Casual will be fine, and I mean casual because-“ Jen stops before she spills too much. “See you soon..” Judy doesn’t have time to ask anything else because Jen jogs back inside with a quick wave, heading upstairs to get everything in order.

Judy smiles in excitement, she’s giddy and she can’t wait to go out on their date, date, it still doesn’t feel real. Jen had seemed so excited the night before when she said everything was in hand and she had something planned for them, Judy’s not sure what they’re doing but whatever it is she knows she’ll love it. She’d gladly sit on a roadside eating greasy takeaway for a date if it meant that she was doing it with Jen. She’s waited for this for a long time, probably since they were kids without even realising it. Judy thinks it’s fate that they met again, even in the way they did. Once upon a time they found each other, then years later the universe gave them another chance, hopefully this time it’s for keeps. Judy would love nothing more than to stay with Jen and the boys, her family, for as long as she can, forever if she had anything to do with it.

*

Jen checks the website once again for directions, she’s sure she knows where it’s based but if she doesn’t and they get lost they will miss their slot, and the others were fully booked up, despite it only being a low key organised event. She also checks the reservations went smoothly for afterwards, in the rooftop restaurant, sizing up how fucking high it is again when she sees couples’ reviews and photographs on the website. It does look beautiful though, especially at night where the lights twinkle below the sky full of stars. Jen just hopes it doesn’t rain, a rooftop open bar seems more romantic than a sodden rooftop bar with a flimsy gazebo for shelter.

It feels strange to be going out on a date with Judy because it feels like somehow they’re past it, they don’t need to get to know each other because they already pretty much know everything about each other, even the ugly parts, although those wouldn’t be revealed on a first date (in Jen’s case) anyway. Jen feels so young, despite being a middle aged widower with two kids and an aged body, she feels like she’s going on her first date ever, the nerves and exhilaration whirling around in her stomach while she chooses an outfit for the dinner. They’ll come back here, she’s decided, getting changed in some restaurant toilet is hardly first date material, and they can’t go wearing the same clothes she’s currently wearing; leggings and a loose grey t-shirt, a blue and white flannel over the top, she’ll have to wrap it around her waist once they get there.

“Is this okay? Or did you mean smart casual maybe-“ Judy poses as she meets Jen by the doorway, rubbing out the creases on her loose, floral dress, paired with a woolly white cardigan and flats.

“No you’re perfect, exactly what I meant” Jen rubs her hands together, looking Judy up and down with a grin. “You look gorgeous. As always.” Jen adds in a soft, sultry voice before turning back to find her car keys, they’re on top of the kitchen counter,  by the fruit bowl where she left them.

“Thank you!” Judy breaks out into a smile, and returns the compliment.

Jen drives them, Judy singing along to her playlist, currently playing Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5, Jen doesn’t mind though, Judy has a great voice even if she is a little biased. They don’t really talk on the way there, the silence filled by music, and it’s comfortable, Judy doesn’t feel the need to start conversations just to cater to the quiet, and Jen’s glad at that because it suggests they’re making some progress with Judy and her needs to always please other people.

Jen hears a ping from her bag when they’re about 20 minutes into the journey, there’s probably only another 10 to go. Judy reaches to check, it might be Charlie and Henry she says, or Lorna, and before Jen can stop her she takes Jen’s phone.

“Wait it-“

Judy clicks open the phone. It’s not a text or call from the boys, or Lorna, Jen should’ve remembered…

“We’re going to a pottery course!”

“It was meant to be a surprise!”

Judy looks over at her, delighted, “it still is!” She assures, fingers gripping the phone tightly with excitement.

“Well, yeah I suppose.” Jen flicks her eyes momentarily to Judy, reluctantly for only a second, turning back to the front to pull away from the stop light, turning green simultaneously to Judy’s epiphany.

“Thank you so much for this Jen,” a hand reaches over to squeeze her thigh, slightly high, close even, it makes Jen’s stomach tense but Judy pulls it away to take her hand instead before she can acknowledge it. “So thoughtful” Judy thinks aloud, another gentle squeeze.

Jen doesn’t say anything, the proud smirk coyly making its way onto her face. She’d decided against the theatre, she almost did book tickets for the showing of The Lion King, Judy’s favourite Disney film (she cries every time), but then she thought of what Judy really loves, art. It’s the one thing Jen practically hates, but she’ll like it for Judy. She thought about going to an art gallery but she can imagine them traipsing round the place in silence because Jen gathers those things are always quiet and quite conservative, she’d drag her feet because even art galleries would be a push for Jen (house showings are enough of a gallery for her) and Judy would look at the paintings and think why aren’t hers good enough to be here. Jen knows it, so she decides against it, purely selfless reasoning obviously. Then she’d taken a look at other things to do ‘in Laguna that are creative’, her literal wording when asking sir google, her new favourite advisory, and it had suggested a pottery workshop. Jen had chosen one where they had free reign, a do it yourself sort of course instead of a teacher-y one. At least that way they’d be able to do what they wanted, Jen just hopes Judy knows how to work these spinning things, she’d YouTube’d the way to do it but it seemed too complicated. Judy can turn her hand to anything though, and as long as she has fun then she guesses they’ll both be satisfied.

They pull into a narrow road, Jen recognises it from the website and slows the car, telling Judy to keep an eye out for ‘Preston’s Pottery Studio’. Judy points to a building, Jen recognises it and pulls up outside. It’s fairly small, white on the outside with red painted calligraphy lettering, and vines cling to it’s side. Jen switches off the ignition and asks Judy to pass her bag over, she turns her phone to ‘do not disturb’ and then dumps it back inside her bag.

“Ready?” Jen asks, un-clipping her seatbelt.

“Yep! I’m so excited.” Judy follows, slamming the car door against the force of the wind. Jen locks the door and beckons Judy over.

“Let’s get inside it’s fucking freezing…” Jen trails off, pulling at her hood to keep it from blowing backwards. Judy’s hair flies all over her face and they laugh at how far from a date it seems, they’re wearing comfy clothing and not even Jen has heels. It’s different, and that’s what makes it perfect for them.

When they walk inside Jen checks them in and she’s handed two aprons, she gives one over to Judy and helps her tie it on before Judy helps with her own. The receptionist tells them to follow the green arrows on the flooring to where the studio room is, Jen thanks her and takes Judy’s hand casually. It still surprises her how easy it is to do that. It smells of paint, Jen’s not used to it like Judy is and she bets she’ll leave with a headache. There’s also a strong stomach of the ovens in the back where people go back and forth from to collect their pots. Jen steps inside, bending her head under the low doorway, and into a large room with different tables and stations. There’s one long table in the middle which a few elderly people occupy, Jen nudges Judy, whispering ‘home from home huh,’ with a wink.

They choose a table at the back, apart from the group in the middle there’s hardly any one else in. Jen’s glad there’s not a lot of people here to witness her potentially terrible pottery skills. Jen takes her coat and hangs it over the back of the chair, shoving her bag underneath their table.

“So I’m kinda counting on you to lead this…” Jen starts, Judy laughs and tells her she’ll be right back. She returns with two pottery wheels and struggles holding a large bag of clay in the other, Jen helps with the wheels and steadies them on the table. The clay bag is placed on the floor beside Judy and she takes a handful out and puts it between them on the table.

Jen widens her eyes as Judy gets finger deep, “wow you’re just gonna-“ Judy heave some more on, scraping the excess clay from her wrists. She’s covered in the stuff.

Judy takes a breath after loading clay onto the table. “They left paper instructions on the desk over there, I quickly read them so I think we got this.” Judy claps her hands together once excitedly and then wipes the remaining clay onto her apron.

Jen nods amusedly.

“Alright grab a ball. Like…” Judy digs her hands into the clay and takes a fair chunk, “this, and then start-“ Jen takes some too, wincing at it going down her finger nails, it’s squishy and Jen rolls it between her hands so it doesn’t stick, “-doing this so that it goes into a ball shape.” Jen copies her, Judy’s expert hands having already smoothed the ball into a nice spheres shape while Jen looks like shit, no a literal shit.

Jen forms her hands around the clay, curving it so that it shapes, it’s kinda touch, and when Judy does it in the short sleeves she’s wearing, Jen can see her muscles flexing and veins on her arm tense, it’s quite distracting. Not to mention the sheet of sleek sweat that’s already made it’s way on to Judy’s forehead. Jen clears her throat and holds up her clay.

“Is this okay?”

Judy takes it, shows her how to smooth it out a little more and then hands it back. “Perfect.” Judy pulls the wheels closer to them, sliding one further to Jen’s side of the table. “Okay so, all you have to do is centre the clay, and then use this part,” Judy traces the side of her hand with her finger, “to shape it when it spins.”

“Alright, sounds simple enough…” Jen trails off, coping Judy as she wets the wheel with a wet sponge, they share the same one. She then takes her clay and dumps it in the middle, Jen does hers and pushes it so it’s to the centre. Doing well so far. Then the wheel starts spinning and Judy moulds the clay with her hands, every so often dipping her hand to wet them. Jen waits for a few minutes so she can get a hang of it while watching Judy expertly do hers. “Okay…” Jen mutters under her breath, and then starts mirroring Judy, she bens over a little while doing hers and Jen copies, getting eye level with the wheel every so often to check her progress.

“You’re doing great so far!” Judy chimes, already a quarter way up on her pot. Her hands don’t leave her clay as she speaks, she doesn’t even need to look as she shapes it. Jen can’t help thinking it look so…elegant. Which, is a strange thing to say about someone who’s got dirty fingers and dusted clay over their nose.

“Thanks…” Jen says, it’s quite hard actually to keep the shape, it’s gone a little wider than she’d like it to but she can work with it, Judy makes it look easy.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you, I invited Abe for dinner next Thursday, it’s his wife’s birthday, Elsie, or it would’ve been…” Judy finishes sadly, a frown creasing her forehead. “Is that okay?”

Jen continues working the clay, she thinks it’s going okay now. “Course it is, Abe’s the only elderly person I actually like.” Jen snipes with a small smirk.

Judy smiles gratefully, “thank you, it’s just I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be without the person you love, Abe was with Elsie for 54 years, it would’ve been 55 this year…” Judy says solemnly, pausing her work on the wheel for a minute to sit down, she dries her hands on her apron and stares at the wheel as it spins.

Jen nods, “yeah…”

Judy suddenly looks up then, “oh! Jen I’m sorry, I guess you don’t have to imagine what that’s like, with Ted… even if he did have an affair.” She places a dusty hand over Jen’s clay coated ones.

Jen shrugs her shoulder, methodically still working on the wheel. “Hmm,” She struggles to find the right words because even if she lost Ted, she loved him for a while sure, it wouldn’t feel like losing the great love of her life though like Abe has. That should bother her, the father of her kids whom she spent a good decade (at least) of her life with doesn’t even make the cut.

“I guess I can only imagine what it’d be like if I lost you,” Judy continues. “I’m not sure how Abe carries on.”

“Yeah you do, you did it once, and if you lost me now you’d do it again, that’s who you are.” Jen says, “and with Ted-it’s not the same, I-“ Jen shrugs, “losing my mom was way worse, losing you would be way worse…”

Judy rubs her thumb over her knuckles where they’re still holding hands. “Good job I’m not going anywhere.”

Jen nods, “yeah. Me too.”

There’s a moment where they just look at each other, if they were in a film there’d be paper roses raining down around them, a soppy romantic song playing. Jen’s never been one for public displays of affection, but even she can’t help leaning over to kiss the smile on Judy’s mouth,. She returns it gladly, her hand cupping Jen’s face to deepen the kiss, but Jen can’t help pulling away quickly to wipe the clay from her face.

“Sorry it just stinks of earth and ground and-“

Judy pecks her once and sits down again on her stool, “we’ll save it for later,” and continues working on her pot.

“So afterwards…” Jen starts after a few minutes of pure concentration, it’s not bending the right way and it’s fucking annoying. “I’ve booked us a reservation at ‘The Fifth’, don’t worry we can get changed at home before going.”

“Wait isn’t that the rooftop bar?”

“It is.”

“But Jen! You’re scared of heights…” Judy worries, Jen quickly chips in.

“It’ll be fine…” Jen dismisses, “trust me I’ll be fine, being in a restaurant that’s attached to the ground seems a lot better than a Ferris wheel that rattled when it set off.” Jen says, and she almost convinces herself.

“Well, we can ask for a table that’s inside instead of out if it makes you feel better.”

“I already reserved the VIP table…”

Judy tuts, “Jen…” she puts down the sponge she was using and shifts in her seat to face Jen. “You didn’t have to…”

“I know.” Jen says, “I wanted to.”

Judy smiles, “well thank you…”

Jen shrugs. “Oh…fuck look,” Jen moves so Judy can see her pot. She’s making a vase shape, a tall cylinder with a wide bottom, although now the top is going off kilter and messing the shape up. Judy peers over Jen’s shoulder and slows her wheel down to check.

“Here… let me.” Judy stands behind Jen, a little taller because Jen’s sitting down, and leans forward until Judy’s front is pressed against her back.

Jen shifts a little, tensing as Judy leans her chin against her shoulder, from the corner of her eye she can see Judy’s lips caught between her top teeth in concentration, a lock of hair falling in front of her eyes which she blows away huffily. Her eyes shift back to the pot, bulging when Judy’s hands go over hers and move them against the wet clay, moulding it as she goes with delicate yet firm fingers. She swallows, the feeling of Judy’s wet hands slotting between her own, along with Judy’s breath tickling her ear sends a shiver up her spine. Judy dips her hand in the water to lubricate the clay even more and cups her fingers over Jen’s, guiding them to the side of the pot to pull it back into shape.

“The problem is you were being too gentle, you have to be a little more firm to make sure it stays straight.” Judy tells her, smiling as the clay moves back into place and starts widening out a little instead of closing up.

“No ones ever said that to me before,” Jen says, “the gentle part that is…” she clarifies, clearing her throat awkwardly.

“What, ‘cos you’re a ‘tough bro’” Judy mimics Jen’s Brooklyn accent, turning to look at her in the eyes while her hands still work expertly away on the pot. Jen let’s her own relax, allowing Judy’s to work their magic over the top.

“Exactly.” Jen whispers, eyeing Judy’s with a smirk, regaining confidence after her stumble in confidence to lean in and whisper “maybe you’ll find out later…” and then turn back to the pot as if nothing had happened.

Judy finds herself pausing at that, her hands tracing over Jen’s, all the way up her arms despite the clay to bring back to her own side. A slight blush has made its way onto her cheeks and Jen’s grinning satisfied.

“Think you’ve got it from here?” Judy asks once recovered. She’s back at her own seat now, eyeing her pot up that she thinks is finished.

“I’ve got it, actually I think it’s about done.” Jen stops the wheel and gestures it to Judy, “what do you think?”

“Looks great.”

“Well I had help…” Jen says, averting her eyes quickly before they start something (again) that they can’t finish just yet.

“Should we pop these in the oven?”

“Sure.”

Judy heaves hers up, it’s quite heavy and wider than Jen’s, it’s in a more bowl shape with a small base and wide interior, she’s also carved out holes making flowers in the body of the vase, she’ll paint them once it’s dried. Jen’s is a simple vase shape, she says it “looks like a dick” the more she looks at it but Judy assures her it looks fine. And paint will help with that.

…

“I can’t believe you…”

“It was funny! You can have a shower when we’re home…”

“People are gonna see me driving!”

“No look here…”

Jen catches Judy’s fingers before they can make it near her face.

“Just go get our pots before someone steals them…” Jen says, it’s hard to keep a smile off her face, even thoughJudy has used her face as a canvas. She’d drawn a huge tornado shaped squiggle in bright green on her face when they were painting there pots, not realising it can’t just be wiped off with paper towel and it’s as good as permanent. So Jen’s left with a huge blob of green on her face. But Judy’s left with a smile, and she’s not stopped laughing since so, how the fuck can she be mad at her for that? She can’t, but she can pretend to be. Not very well though.

Judy comes out with their finished pots in boxes, courtesy of the studio and puts them carefully in the boot of the car. “Are you mad?” Judy asks, a slight concern creeping in her eyes despite trying to fight it.

“Do I look mad?” Jen asks with a laugh. There’s the biggest smile on her face and her eyes practically dote over Judy as she shuts the boot and leans against it beside her.

Judy shakes her head, her pout turning into a smile.

“Come on, we have reservations for 7 and it’s gonna take hours to get this off…”

Judy rounds the car, “a good concealer’s always an option…”

*

Judy picks out a teal green coloured dress with minute black needs dotted on the top. It’s netted almost, a little transparent and there’s a slit halfway up the leg while the fabric flows around her knees. It’s a long v neck, and she’s paired it with a moon and star necklace, the cool chain sitting on her chest. Her hair is left down, in softer waves than usual and she’s neatened up her bangs. Makeup is one thing she’d never used much, Jen has her signature red lip look that she wears quite often and maybe Judy should try something new, perhaps Jen would like that. She takes her usual lip balm and applies it before digging through her limited makeup collection to find a colour. Jen’s only in the other room and she could go and borrow one, but they’d decided to change in different rooms so it feels a little more special when they see each other. Judy’s idea. She’s changed in Charlie’s room while the boys are out, she needs to have a word with him about the strange fusty smell in his room when he’s home, and she’s sprayed air freshener more than five times. Judy picks out a red lipstick and carefully applies it through Charlie’s mirror, rubbing her lips together afterwards. It’ll do.

It’s not that cold of a night, she reaches her arm out of the window when she opens it to let some fresh air in, so she decides on the white heels and a small white cropped jacket. After a spray of perfume to her neck and wrists she calls for Jen and asks if she’s ready.

If she didn’t think Jen was heaven on a stick before, she certainly does now, she’d live and breath that sentence to make Jen believe it. Jen meets her on the hallway, wearing a black tight fitting sheath dress that hugs her waist perfectly. Her hair is down and falls in its natural waves, her legs are bare and Judy feels her jaw drop as she trails her eyes up from head to toe, a little she’ll shocked.

“You look gorgeous.” Judy says, finally managing to speak. She steps forward, heart hammering in her chest as she reaches to brush a strand of Jen’s hair behind her ear.

Jen leans into it, and for once doesn’t deny the compliment, Judy smiles more at that, and then Jen returns it, “you look like you’ve just fucking dropped from heaven…” She says, a hand coming to Judy’s waist.

Jen’s phone ringing interrupts whatever Judy’s about to reply with, “the Uber must be here,” and they quickly grab their things before heading outside. Jen opens the door for Judy and offers her hand out so she can climb in first. They hold hands in the back seat on the way there while Judy chats away to the driver.

Once they arrive, Jen leads Judy inside, it’s quite busy and Judy’s a wonderer so she keeps a tight hold on her hand while checking them in.

“Jen Harding…”

“Come this way.”

The waiter leads them up to the elevator and clicks buttons to the top floor, Jen’s stomach is in knots the further it goes up and she doesn’t mention it, but knows that Judy senses her nerves because she grips her hand tighter and shoots her a smile.

“Here is your table…” the chairs are already pulled out for them and the waiter places napkins on their laps once sitting. “And our menus…Someone will be up to take your drinks and first course orders shortly, enjoy.”

Judy waits until he goes to lean across the table, “this is so fancy!” She says, opening the menu to look at the options.

“It is,” Jen says, raising her eyebrows at the prices. Reservations were steep enough. “Hey do you wanna maybe share a starter? I’m not that hungry yet…”

“Jen,” Judy tilts her head, “I’ve seen the prices on here, maybe we can just get a main?”

“I want you to have the full shabam Jude.” Jen resists, nudging the menu.

“Right, but I don’t need wining and dining…”

“But I want to-“

“And I’m grateful, so let’s share a starter, get drinks, mains and split the cost.” Judy offers.

Jen tuts, “I’m taking you out though-“

“And you still are, Jen.” Judy deadpans.

Jen turns her lip up in defeat. “Alright we can split…thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Judy taps her hand lightly.

“What about dessert?” Jen asks.

“We’ll save that for later.” Judy winks, and covers her smirk with the menu.

Their starters come fairly quickly, they’re sharing a bowl of soup. Judy insists on Jen being the one to try it first and so she does, blowing the steaming liquid before trying.

“Good?”

Jen confirms with a nod. “Here…” She spoons a little from the side of the dish so it’s not as hot, blows on it twice and then holds the spoon out to Judy. “Open.” Cupping her hand under the spoon, she eases it into Judy’s mouth, and Judy’s giggling so it’s far from elegant, her teeth hit the spoon and Jen cringes.

“Well that wasn’t romantic at all.” Jen wipes the soup from around Judy’s mouth with a napkin and takes another spoonful for herself.

She laughs and uses her own spoon for the next mouthful, complimenting the good amount of flavour quantity.

For the main course, Judy orders a pasta dish, with grilled goat cheese and cherry tomatoes, garlic bread comes as a side, while Jen chooses practically the same but the meat version, chicken Alfredo pasta and she forgoes the garlic bread telling Judy she’s gained some pounds recently. “You look beautiful” Judy tells her and Jen replies with a halfhearted shrug, blushing from ear to ear.

“It’s so nice out here.” Judy twiddles pasta around her fork, looking up at the stars in the night sky and the beaming lights coming from the buildings below them. Luckily there wasn’t even a cloud in the star speckled sky, and there was a certain warmth in the air, although perhaps it was just hot flushes from the wine. A full moon hovers above the luminous cityscape, slightly clouded by a fair fog. “The moon’s out tonight.” Judy comments and Jen takes another bite of chicken before looking up to where Judy points.

“Do you know what a full moon symbolises?” Judy asks.

“Nope but I know you do, tell me.” Jen encourages, putting down her knife and fork and resting her chin on her hands.

Judy grins, leaning forward in her seat as if telling a secret. “It represents completion, clarity and a time to reflect on what you’ve achieved, it means you’ve realised your desires…”

Jen hums, “and have you?”

Judy asks “what?”

To which Jen answers quickly “reached your desires…” with a sultry smirk.

Judy smiles, taking Jen in, she leans over on the table, her arm positioning pushing her cleavage prominently. Her arms are tense, hands linked under her chin, and Judy watches as her tongue darts out to lick sauce from her bottom lip. She leans closer, and with a smile she says. “I think so…”

*

When they arrive home, Jen kicks off her heels and takes a sigh of relief.

“God those shoes have been killing me…”

Judy takes her hand and leads her to the kitchen, she needs a glass of water and she wants Jen to come with her just because. Jen complies, lazily swinging their hands as she follows.

“I’ve loved tonight.” Judy says, letting go of Jen’s hand to run the tap, Jen feels slightly lost without it and she flexes her fingers before folding her arms emptily.

“Me too.” Jen replies, rounding the kitchen counter to put the car keys on the side.

“I think it’s been the best date I’ve ever been on, Steve always wanted to shut me up with a posh fancy restaurant dinner and then we’d go home and end up having sex to drown out the silence, it’s so different with us…”

Jen winces, “can we not mention that asshole.”

Judy downs the water in one, a little dehydrated, they hadn’t had a lot to drink, just a glass of red with their meals. Jen watches, a drop of water drips down the side of Judy’s mouth and she catches it with her hand before it slides off her chin. The flush on her cheeks and slight blur in her eyes is quite hot, and the way her hand tenses when she slams the glass back on the side when she’s done has Jen transfixed.

“That other part sounds good though…” Jen poses casually, as if she isn’t asking her best friend slash whatever they are now to go upstairs and have fucking sex with her. Truthfully the thought is terrifying, she’s extremely out of practice and she’s never actually practiced at all with a woman. Or anyone since her chest become a war zone.

“Huh?” Judy frowns and then realises with a slight chuckle, “oh…”

Jen nods, “yeah, I mean I’d like to but we don’t have to obviously-“

“Jen.” Judy stops her out of character rambling, rounding the counter to Jen’s side where she brushes a lock of hair from her face gently, looking up into those ocean blue eyes she’s come to feel at home in. Jen takes a breath, calming under Judy’s gentle touch. And then she ignites again, breath quickening when Judy leans forward to kiss her, hand tangling in that same lock of hair. Jen’s places her hand on Judy’s back to pull her closer, the need to touch every part of her was consuming. Judy fists her hair now, gently still but passion seeps through her clutching fingers, her mouth opening eagerly. Jen’s back hits the kitchen counter, one hand comes to rest on it to balance while the other hooks around Judy’s neck. Thankfully the counter’s there to support her, because she thinks she would’ve collapsed on the floor right there and then with how week her knees are, how she can’t feel anything other than the stroke of Judy’s tongue against her own. Judy’s warm hands on her cheek and jaw and hair.

And then they’re gone, Judy pulls back and takes Jen’s hand. “Let’s go upstairs.” She poses, not quite a question, but not firm enough to be a statement either, her eyes wait widely, hopefully for a response.

Jen wordlessly takes Judy’s hand, walking to the stairs quickly and then turning around at the bottom, walking up them backwards as she draws Judy towards her again, connecting their lips in another kiss hungrily, Judy steadies her with a hand on her hips. Jen makes it to the top and then turns back to pull Judy into their bedroom. Jen draws the blinds shut and debates whether to turn the light on, her scars, and Judy must notice her deliberation because she walks to the lamps on either side of the bed and turns them on. The small gleam less intimidating than the ceiling light.

“Just um…” Jen gestures with her hands nervously, because of course she’s fucking nervous, Judy is practically a goddess and here she is about to do this with her. “Just so you know I haven’t done this before, with a woman.” Not that she expects Judy to have done, it’s just a slight feeling. The way she’s so confident, and the way she compliments women on their looks on the tv as well as the men. Jen knew Judy had been with Steve, she’s just never thought to ask about any past relationships, she feels slightly guilty since Judy knows of all the shitty one night stands she had in college, and those after but before Ted, (all is an exaggeration, it wasn’t that many.)

Judy shrugs, “you’ve never done pottery before but you got a hold of that quickly enough…”

“True.” She guesses.

“But if I could give you a tip…” Judy steps forward, leaning impossibly close to Jen, their noses almost touch, “just use your hands like you did today…” she whispers in her ear, kissing her jaw line as she brings her head back to look at her straight on. Jen swallows and nods, “sounds simple enough…” Jen pulls Judy back into her, loosing herself in just the kiss, she can’t imagine how she’ll be after.

Judy’s hands come to Jen’s back, fingers spreading as hands move up and down. Judy brings her leg up around Jen’s waist with her encouragement, the blonde gripping her thigh and supporting her as she drops back onto the bed. It creaks underneath their weight and Judy laughs against Jen’s mouth, small puffs of air making Jen pull back. She’s smiling, and it’s not long until their lips are back, a little greedily, moving in unison. Judy moves further to the top of the bed and Jen follows, it’s difficult since they’re still kissing but they manage. Even when Jen accidentally nudges her knee into Judy’s stomach, she apologised quickly but Judy laughs it off, blowing hair from her flustered cheeks while they pause to catch their breaths. Jen practically melts when she takes her in, practically glowing under the soft lighting.

“You’re beautiful.” Jen murmurs before leaning down to trail kisses over Judy’s warm, slightly sweaty neck. All the way up to her ear, where Jen teases the lobe gently, Judy exhales slowly and rocks her hips slightly, impatiently.

Slowly, Jen makes her way down Judy’s jaw, neck and then she’s peppering light kisses along her chest. Jen quickly takes the necklace off she’s wearing, dangling it over the bedside table until it pools and she releases the chain. The slight pause gives her the confidence to move further down Judy’s body, leaving small red marks as she goes from her lipstick.

Judy reaches up to swipe at her lips with her thumb, it’s already smudged and it makes Jen look insanely hot. Judy tugs her down once again and while kissing, she moves her hands to Jen’s dress, stroking up and down her side over smooth fabric that hugs the slight curves. Jen’s own hands run down her chest, and she moans softly as Jen palms over her breasts.

“Sorry I got carried away…” Jen says pulling back quickly.

“No…” Judy tugs Jen’s hands to small sleeves of the dress, “I liked it,” she says and that encourages Jen to hook her fingers under the sleeve and pull it down over her shoulders, the fabric loose enough to be pulled all the way down to her stomach where it bunches up beneath Jen’s thighs.

“Oh, you did?” Jen leans down, her front presses against Judy and closes any distance left between them, their bodies coming together as one.

“Mhm I did.” Judy grins, biting on her lip to stop herself crying out already when Jen squeezes her beasts, when her thumb runs over her left nipple gently. You know you said you’ve never done this before-“ Judy let’s out an ‘oh’, hips lifting as a wave of pleasure rushes down her body, Jen trails over her nipple with her tongue, “but you seem to be an expert at it already.” She finishes, and the fist that’s not in Jen’s hair clutches the sheets.

“Can I take this off?” Jen practically purrs in her ear, her breath and hair tickles her ear and gives her goosebumps all over.

Judy nods and lifts up a little so Jen can reach her arms behind her back and undo her bra, it’s strapless so Jen can just pull it away from the front, she flings it somewhere, they’ll find out tomorrow where exactly, but all Judy can care about is the feel of her breasts against Jen’s chest, and her fingers tracing over the indents from her bra on her back. It’s unbelievably slow and Judy quivers impatiently.

“Jen, I appreciate you easing us into this but I’m gonna need you to sped this up a little bit-“

Jen laughs deliciously in her ear, and she holds Judy’s face in her hands when she leans backwards a little, “alright bossy,” she says rolling her eyes teasingly.

Jen’s about to take Judy’s dress off when Judy stops her with a hand on her wrist. “Wait-“

“Is something wrong?”

“No, course not I just…” Judy braces herself for Jen sinking into herself, “I want to see you as well…”

Jen nods slowly, taking a deep breath. “Alright…”

She doesn’t sound sure, and Judy fingers the zipper at the back of Jen’s dress. “Do you trust me?”

Completely. “Yeah.”

Judy nods, slowly pulling down the zipper to the bottom, leaving the choice of pulling the dress down to Jen. Judy takes her own dress off in the meantime, just pulling it down enough so her top half is bare, the dress bunches at her waist.

“Can you-“ Jen pauses, bending her head self consciously. “Do you mind closing your eyes? Just until…” Jen trails off, shaking her head as she truffles to find the words.

When she looks up Judy’s already closed them, and blindly she reaches out to hold one of Jen’s hands. There’s a burning inside of her that wants Judy to see everything, to feel every part of her. A distant voice in her head is saying they’re ugly, Ted thought they were ugly, why won’t Judy, but Judy’s not Ted. But she may be the love of Jen’s life, which she just realises in this moment because she didn’t think she’d even consider trusting anyone ever again. Jen wants to say it, but she bites her lip, instead she lets go of Judy’s hand to pull down her dress, she didn’t wear a bra with this dress. Jen looks down at her own chest, eyes tearing up at the red lines scratched into her skin. She averts her eyes, even after all this time she can’t look at them for long. Jen looks up at Judy, who’s still got her eyes closed.

“Okay, you can open.” Her voice sounds so unlike her, quietly so and without edge. It’s vulnerable, and she braces herself for any sign of hesitation in Judy.

If never comes, Judy opens and manages to keep a straight face, Jen doesn’t know if she tries hard to or whether it’s easy. Judy reaches a hand forward and touches the surprisingly cold skin, Judy’s shocked at that, and she delicately brushes her fingers over the raised scars, some more than others. Jen’s breath hitches as Judy whispers “you’re beautiful” and she doesn’t want to be one of those fucking weirdos that cries during sex so Jen pulls Judy down into a searing kiss quickly, Judy’s happy to comply and the heat is back up again, desire creeping its way in replace of embarrassment, vulnerability.

Judy strikes up and down Jen’s chest with her fingers, moving in the same rhythm as their lips do against each other’s. A warmth pools between Jen’s legs when Judy replaces her fingers with her mouth, and she whispers “fuck” in the crook of Judy’s neck. Jen arches her back making her even closer to Judy, and she shifts off of Judy’s lap to take her dress all the way down, flinging it off of the bed carelessly.

“Someone’s eager…” Judy teases, tilting her head quite cockily. Jen finds it hot.

“Says someone.” Jen chirps back, hand making its way to the waistband of Judy’s underwear that peeks up underneath the green netting of her dress. Jen fingers the material, waiting for a nod before going any further, but Judy grabs her wrist and pushes her hand down desperately.

“You’re already wet…” Jen says, the feel of Judy through her underwear on her fingertips is overwhelmingly sexy.

Judy’s breath shudders as Jen traces her fingers up and down the length of her underwear, “you sound surprised…”

Jen smirks, applying a little more pressure and watching as Judy huffs impatiently.

“Jen…”

She decides to give in, slipping her fingers underneath the lace into a slick wetness, taking a few seconds to enjoy the feel of Judy’s freshly shaved (it’s as if she fucking knew, unlike Jen who’s fairly unprepared down there, although it’s not her fault her electric shaver broke last night) wet, pulsating skin on her fingers.

“Oh god…” Judy moans as Jen takes down her underwear and parts her lips, one hand holding her legs apart. Judy sits up slightly, leaning against the headboard to watch Jen start circling her fingers against her clit. She looks up to check if she’s doing okay, and by the closed eyes and gaping jaw, she guesses she’s doing just fine.

“Faster Jen…”

Jen complies, harder too, feeling the twitch of Judy’s thigh between her clutching fingers.

“-my god, yes…”

Her wrist work faster, and Jen moves her other hand to palm Judy’s breast, squeezing and then plucking over her hardened nipple.

“You like that?” Jen whispers, and Judy rolls her hips in her fingers in response, exhaling as a response.

She keeps talking, whispering in her ear until Judy clenches underneath her finger tips, her whole body jerking upwards into her hand, and Jen moves her other hand quickly behind her head so she doesn’t bang it against the headboard. Jen kisses her through the wave of pleasure that ripples through Judy’s body, she cries out Jen’s name into her lips as she comes and Jen wants it to engrave in her memory forever, the sheer pleasure in Judy’s eyes as she slowly starts to breathe normally again after riding out her high is magic, and if Jen were a painter like Judy was she’d paint her like this. Free, relaxed and insanely beautiful.

“Judy I fucking love you…” Jen whispers, “I was going to wait to tell you but I can’t, I want you to know that I love you with everything I am and I really hope you feel the same”, she says shamelessly, she can’t hold it in any longer.

Judy brings a hand up to Jen’s face lazily, her palms are red from gripping the sheets, and she cups Jen’s jaw. “I love you too, so much.” Judy whispers.

Jen slides off her then to lay beside her, hugging up close to Judy’s arm. A few moments pass while Judy recovers, Jen loosely holding her hand and kissing her bare shoulder every so often.

Judy slings an arm over her waist then, “can I show you how much?”

Jen nods against the pillow with a small smile, laughing when Judy goes ‘yesss’ and fist bumps the air. She moves to straddle Jen’s lap, hips grinding against Jen’s centre as she holds Jen’s hips.

“You’re gorgeous…” Jen says again, bringing her own hands to Judy’s waist and moving with her as she moves hips.

Jen groans at the friction then and Judy takes the hint, bringing her palm to rub against Jen’s underwear, it’s soaked and Judy tells her so with a laugh. She quickly removes her lingerie, that’s dark purple and totally Jen’s vibe, and brings her hand back to Jen’s throbbing centre.

“Fuck Judy…Keep going…”

Judy didn’t think Jen would be as vocal, but she definitely loves that she is. She works her fingers faster from side to side and suddenly is engulfed in a wet heat. She had the urge to use her tongue, to taste her, and as she moves down the bed Judy lifts her head, silently asking Jen if it’s okay.

It makes Jen want it even more, in every way and she says “please Judy just fucking do something because I feel like I’m about to explode…”

Judy doesn’t need asking twice, Jen’s sexy when she’s angry, and Judy smirks as she pulls her legs further apart and dips her head. She kisses the top part, a crease is there from where her underwear’s been, and then makes her way down, lapping up the slick warmth. Judy flicks her tongue and starts a rhythm, up and down, and Jen cries out the moment her tongue makes contact with her clit.

“Oh god…” Jen elongates the ‘g’, hissing through her teeth as Judy starts circling with her tongue.

“Yes, baby…”

Judy keeps her tongue moving, occasionally sucking and then it’s like a tsunami, Jen’s wall breaks and she collapses back into the bed, Judy pulls her head up and kisses her thighs as Jen rides out her electric orgasm.

“That was amazing…” Judy whispers, wiping her mouth with the back of her wrist before coming up to seal it with a kiss, a soft, slow peck against Jen’s lips. Her breath laboured against Judy’s mouth.

They fall asleep after peeing and a quick face wash, Judy grabs nightmare from Jen’s drawer for the two of them and then slips into bed beside Jen, turning off both lamps as she goes. Jen’s still tired out, and her eyes are closed as Judy lays down with her head on her chest, wrapping one arm around Jen’s front.

“I love you,” Judy whispers, kissing Jen’s nose before nesting her head back on Jen’s chest.

Jen pulls the sheets further over the two of them, “love you too,” and then falls into a deep, satisfied slumber.