Another Confension
"I just don't get it Sam." Lena is sitting in her office, a glass of wine in one hand, the other hand massaging her own forehead.
She'd been talking to Sam on the phone for an hour, relieved that she still had Sam in Kara's absence, but, even though there is Kara, Lena also will not discuss this things with kara, how come? discusses her sense of sexual frustration towards the older Danvers.
Lena has been dating Alex for over two months. And that Valentine's night remains their first sex, a very short time.
When Alex was still her friend, Lena couldn't lie to herself. She sometimes imagines the baddass wild Alex Danvers in bed, even though she knows that Alex is soft gay, but this is unbelievable.
"Maybe she just shy, sometimes she's litellary cute.. you know?," Sam chuckled.
"Damn, Sam. Alexandra Danvers, the Director of DEO be shy, you must be kidding me."
"Well, you've been sleeping with her over months, and she hasn't tried to do anything more than just kiss you and grab your boobs, seriously?"
"But let me tell you something.. "
Sam was silent for a moment, thinking, or re-call her memories, Lena waited, still frustrated.
"The night before i left National City, we all are in Kara's apartment. I followed Alex as she walked to the balcony, thanking her in person.. I kiss her... ,"
the last sentence sounded more like a whisper.. "And guess what.. she didn't kiss me back. I took her off before things going to be awkward, and i end up giving her a friendly hug. Fuck.. that's embarrassing."
"Oh, Sam.. what? why you don't tell me? i shouldn't---"
"Damn it, Lena.. stop.."
"No, i'm so sorry, i should ask you first before it's--"
"Stop Lena, for God's sake. I'm a little drunk that night, and that Reign thing got me a little too emotional.. but Alex, who doesn't want her? If it doesn't me, it should be you.." Sam laughed from the other side.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm not fighting with you over Alex, damn it.. but i consider fight with Alex over you. You know, you're the best darling.. ," Sam laughed again.
"Stop kidding, Sammy it didn't solved any of my problem anyway." Lena massaged her forehead harder.
" Dariling.. you just need to come out and ask her."
"And lost my dignity. Great."
"Lena, it doesn't sound like you.. really.. i thought you are, ehm, in love? .. don't you? Dear God, i'm so happy."
Lena smiled, and suddenly got panic attack. Falling in love with Alex Danvers? Sweet. But imagine how heartbroken it would be if it didn't work with Alex? enough to make her knees weak with fear.
"I don't know, Sammy.. we didn't even talk about that." Lena sighed.
" Fuck.. You both not doing sex, yet didn't talk about feeling, so what the hell are you doing? i'm kinda dissapointed with these two Director. i thought you guys were going to rock the world."
"Enough, Sammy.. i'm going to ask her tonight."
Sam laugh again, so hard, Damn, Lena miss her Sammy so much
"Just tell me how it going.. i can imagine your frustated face, craving for sex.."
"Fuck you Sammy ..." Said Lena before hugh up the telephone.
Then so many messages from Alex came in as soon as she hung up the telephone.
Alex Danvers : Your place or mine?
Alex Danvers : Hey
Alex Danvers : In meeting?
Alex Danvers : In Conference Call?
Alex Danvers : Live Conference Call?
Alex Danvers : Lena Kieran Luthor.... your phone is busy for more than a hour
Alex Danvers : it MUST be very important Conference Call, with investor or.... ?
Alex Danvers : What are you wearing today?
Alex Danvers : Remember the rules about how to dress during working hours?
Alex Danvers : You can't no longer show your cleavage to that old mans, not anymore..
Alex Danvers : Okay Lena Luthor, you make me worry.. i'm heading to L-Corp.
Just after Lena finish read Alex's last message, still with a smile hanging on her face, the messages from Alex made her happy, simple as that.
It's so soo contrast to the fact that a Luthor shouldn't be happy.
Alex Danvers standing there. In front of her office 's door, freezing. Sweating, in this cold weather. still in her uniform, messy hair, completely sexy...
"What? you ignoring me? " Alex asked hesitantly, trying to read the look on Lena's face, which is unreadable.
"I didn't know Director Danvers were so overprotective," Lena grins. Stand up and cross her arms over her chest.
Alex is a little relieved, it means they are fine, imagining Lena Luthor is geting boring of her, scaring her to death..
Alex quickly took a step and pulled Lena in her arms, kissed her cheek gently, rubbed her nose around Lena's ear. Loving Lena like a child. Lena's heart was beating hard, full of affection. Yet so terrible. Alex Danvers driving her crazy.
Alex make her feel the emotions that a Luthor shouldn't feel. Not only the walls has been smashed to pieces. But alex also made her their own little world, a very strange world.
A world that too comfortable, too good to be true..
"i thought you are busy. Am i interupting on something?," Alex asked while releasing that hug, but still putting her arms around Lena's waist, keeping her close.
"I just finished talking to Sam on the phone."
"Sam? Samantha Arias?,” Alex raised her eyebrow.
"You never talked to me on the phone for that long." Lena saw Alex dark brown eyes, calm, not Director Danvers's eyes, but its Alexandra Danvers's eyes, her Alex
"So now you're jealouse? With me, or with Sam? The one who kissed you on the balcony?" Lena hissed in her ear, deep, wet, full of desire..
Lena could see Alex's face blushed. Awkward. But she hasn't take her arm away from Lena's.
"Would you mind to share with me why don't you kiss Sam back at the moment? You were single, and we didn't need a very deep feelings just to kiss someone?." It's Lena's turn to rise her eyebrow.
"Because.. at the moment-- " Alex paused, hold her breath. "Okay.. it's because back then again, i have someone else on my mind." she replied, looking at the face of the person who is being really important to her right now.
Lena's face was blurred, hurted , no matter how much she tried to hide it.
"Okay, so now I should feel lucky because that person didn't welcome you so i can get you like a prize? ?"
"She did.. actually, she did ." Alex smirks, and it feels like a knife stabbed right in her chest.
Lena trying to pull away from Alex, while Alex hold it even stronger and laughed. A sense of insecurity welled up in her chest, screaming angrily at Alex.
" Lee... Is it ridiculous? if I tell you that the woman is you, Lena Luthor? that I already having crush on you for months, long before you broke up with James?" Alex says softly, so softly that make Lena melts.
And dammit, Lena's heart thumps in her chest again, betraying every protest that she wants to let fall from her lips, and Lena feels that pull again, that need to being close with Alex Danvers.
"But why you didn't tell me?" Lena hisses, Alex can barely hear it, only reading it from her trembling lips.
"How can i? You were with James, and you were so happy, and safe, at least that's what it looks like. The most important thing for me is that you are happy."
Alex caressed her back gently and Lena's eyes began to sting again from unreleased tears, Alex hold Lena ever tighter yet comforting.
Yes, she could stay like that for forever, nevertheless Alex pulled back to look at the younger woman eye's. The older Danvers caressed her cheek where the sight of tears start to fall, happy tears And drown briefly to kiss her red painted lips.
And that's when it all click together, and finally all the things is make sense..