Lying
Growing up, Orianna didn’t have any reason to lie.
There was no use for it. People lied for various reasons, something that Orianna has observed continuously, and it was usually to spare someone’s feelings. Other times, it was the opposite way around, lying to actively hurt someone. Sometimes, people don’t even realize they’re lying because they believe it themselves.
It was abhorrent.
It was abhorrent that lying was seemingly easy for Orianna to do.
Honestly, the lying was more to do with her work-life than anything else. She would lie to gain information, having no regard for the other person at all to fulfill her job. She would plaster on a charming smile, dress in a way that got her noticed, and act in a way that wasn’t her at all.
Over the years, though, she found herself lying in her personal life. She would lie about getting enough sleep, lie about not needing anything, and would generally lie to save people from being too invested in her.
Though Orianna could never lie to Unit Bravo (and not because of their enhanced senses), but more specifically Nate, in the ways that she lied to other people. They knew more about her than anyone else, but she found herself still lying from time to time, and it hurt her because they didn’t deserve it.
Orianna sighed, removing her glasses and setting them down on the table she was sitting at. She runs a hand through her hair, clutching at the strands, and taps a finger on the table with the other hand. She’s been having more nightmares frequently, and normally it wasn’t something that bothered her, but these were different.
Nate was in them.
Last night had been one of the worst Orianna’s had since they started back up again. She dreamed that every lie she told, whether it seemed harmless to her or her sheer avoidance of something, a piece of herself would break and fall to the ground. Nate would look down at it, frowning, and would bend down to pick it up. He would straighten up, all the while still looking at it, before offering it back to her with a sad smile on his face.
As soon as Orianna touched it, Nate shattered into pieces that fell at her feet.
Orianna had woken up gasping out his name.
She had thought about driving to the warehouse to see him, and in the end, decided against it because he would have asked questions and she was sure that she would have lied to him. Orianna couldn’t continue like this, not anymore, but it wouldn’t be that simple.
“Lost in thought?”
Orianna’s head jerked up in surprise and her eyes landed on Nate across the room. He was smiling at her but Orianna could see the worry in his eyes.
“I suppose you could say that,” she replied softly, looking back down at the book she was supposed to be reading. Her lips pursed in thought, considering telling Nate about her thoughts, but if she attempted it, she would downplay it in some way. That Orianna knew.
Nate looked at her, warm brown eyes staring at her and brow furrowed in thought. His gaze always had Orianna tense up slightly because if there was anyone who could see through her, it would surely be him.
That’s what she wanted though, right?
“Is everything alright, Oria?” Nate questioned after a moment. Orianna chuckled, another finger joining the tapping. Three consecutive taps sounded, a pause, and then another three.
“Yes,” she replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m lost in thought, as you said.”
‘Quit asking questions, please. I can’t bear it when I lie to you. When I hurt myself by lying to you,’ Orianna thought, clutching more tightly at the strands of hair in her hand.
“Do you need to talk?” Nate asked, bookmarking where he stopped and set the book aside. He stood up from his seat, walking across the small space between them, and took a seat across from Orianna. He stretched his arms out so his hands could settle on the middle of the table, a silent reassurance.
Orianna’s gaze fell on Nate across from her, her fingers loosening in her hair and the tapping ceasing. All she had to say was, ‘yes, I need to talk to you.’
Three consecutive taps.
“No, I don’t need to talk,” Orianna smiled at him, eyes closing briefly so she wouldn’t see the look on Nate’s face. “Thank you, though.”
Nate wasn’t paying attention to her face though, but on her hand instead. He’s seen her do it before, back when they first met, but Nate didn’t pay any mind to it then. She had been leaning against her desk, hands resting on it, and two of her fingers gave three consecutive taps before she had put on a charming smile, welcomed them, and told them that they would settle in fine in the small town. Then, when Rebecca had left them alone with her daughter, Orianna had changed into a completely different person. The charming smile fell and a stoic mask was set in place.
Was Orianna conscious of it? Was it her trying to say that she was going to lie?
“Orianna,” Nate stretched one of his arms out, placing a finger on one of her own. Orianna’s eyes opened, lips parting in shock as her gaze darted between their fingers and Nate’s face. Nate smiled at her reaction. “It’s okay.”
“What?” Orianna’s face scrunched up in confusion which served to brighten Nate’s smile.
“You do this,” Nate demonstrated with his free hand, two fingers making three consecutive taps, “when you’re lying, right?”
Orianna looked at him, her face smoothing slightly as realization dawned on her. She removed her hand from her hair, bringing it down to press against her mouth in shock.
“It’s not okay,” Orianna finally spoke, her hand falling from her mouth to clutch at Nate’s free hand on the table. “It’s not okay that I’ve grown accustomed to it. It’s not okay because it’s like an instinct, now. It’s not okay when I lie to you!”
“Orianna,” Nate began, squeezing her hand, but was cut off.
“Nate, you need to call me out on it,” Orianna stood up, her hands falling away from him as she looked down at him. “You need to call me out on it because one day I won’t be able to discern when I’m telling the truth or not. I don’t want to end up like that, not when I know I’m going to hurt both of us one of these days because of it.”
Orianna picked up her glasses, sliding them on her face, and turned on her heel. She didn’t move and Nate stood up, making his way around the table but stopped when Orianna hunched herself over.
“I’m sorry, Nate,” Orianna straightened, turning and stepping around to stand in front of him. She took his hand in her own, bringing it up to press a kiss to his knuckles. “I’ll work on it for both of us. This, I promise.”
Nate twisted his hand to hold Orianna’s, bringing it up to press a kiss to her knuckles while looking at her.
“I believe you.”