Story bits

"Okay, before you get mad.." Nadia started. "Oh no. What happened?" Shiro asked.
"Ina and James got sprayed by some kind of plant, and they're acting weird. Like, um, it's hard to describe. Just come see." Shiro follows her from the bridge to the hangar, where her team, Keith, Lance and Pidge are. "Oh thank god. Something is wrong with James." Keith says, face pink. James rolls his eyes. "My god Keith, just because I called you pretty you assume there's something wrong with me."
"Wait, so James is flirty and Ina is.."
She pops up in front of him. "Hi Shiro. How's your day been? Mine's been great. Did Nadia tell you we found a flower? It sprayed something on me and James, and now James is flirting with Keith and calling him pretty which is probably killing Keith's gay ass because he has a huge crush on James and it's super obvious but normally James is oblivious and doesn't notice but he does now."
Ryan is laughing and recording, holding a camera. "This is hilarious."
"Keith, has anyone ever told you you have beautiful eyes? They're an amazing shade of violet, and when you smile, they sparkle a bit, and look like galaxies." "So I have galaxy eyes?" Keith asks, pink faced. "I've never seen a galaxy as beautiful as your eyes." James says.
"Hey James, would you date Keith?" Lance asks. "Fuck yeah. We did before, but then he got himself kicked out and broke up with me. Of course, when he got back he slammed me against the wall and we made out a bit, but then he didn't kiss me again, so I wasn't sure where we stood." "You barely talked to me." Keith defends. "You wouldn't even meet my eyes. I took that as a sign that you didn't want to talk to me. Besides, you're always training. I saw Lance go up to you once and you got scared and decked him. And I don't exactly like it when you hit me. You have a mean right hook." "I apologized for that." James let out a shaky laugh. "Yeah, after you screamed at me for being an idiot. And if that wasn't bad enough, you started death staring me during class. I tried being nice to you, and you snapped at me. I get people to stop spreading rumors about you, and you actually laugh when they say bad stuff about me.
Then you ask me out and promptly almost kill me as we go flying over the edge of a canyon. You finally start opening up to me, and even show me this cool cave you found with all these carvings, and you take me stargazing and I think maybe you actually care, then you get yourself kicked out for decking Iverson. And literally the only thing I asked you to do our entire relationship was be there for me when I planned to come out to my parents, but the second things went wrong for you, you bailed and left me."
James stands and starts pacing.
"SO, I didn't tell them. I didn't tell them til a few days before the invasion, and you know what they did? They yelled at me and disowned me! And before I could even process that, we saw Adam and a bunch of our other teachers get disintegrated midair and got thrown in a war! Yayy! SO much fun! And when you finally get back after years, you glare at me, don't talk to me, then slam me against the wall and kiss me, then leave without an explanation! And I'm confused as fuck because you alternate between glaring at me and giving me this kind of longing look, and I have no fucking idea what I'm supposed to do!"
"James, I didn't mean to confuse you." Keith says.
"But you did! It took months for you to start opening up to me and trusting me, and we did so much together and then you just left! You left me and then ignored me whenever I tried to talk to you! And everyone always expects me to know what to do, but I have no idea, especially when it comes to you! And I'm freaking out because I have no idea whether you miss me or you hate me or love me." James says, running his hands through his hair. "And I wish you would just tell me already because I am losing my mind trying to figure it out!"
He falls onto his back, lying on the floor, covering his face with his hands.
"So, he's honest now?" Shiro asks. Nadia shrugs. "I know what you do."
"James, have you tried straight up asking him what he's thinking? Just go straight up to him and tell him you still like him." Ina suggests.
"I'm sorry for disappointing you. But I'm not straight I'm gay, and you need to accept that." James mutters. "I'm not gonna live the life you've planned out for me. I've done literally everything you've ever asked of me, but I can't keep doing it. Your overbearing parenting is why Ally left and doesn't talk to any of us anymore. I know you're mad, but I'm gay and you need to accept that. No amount of lecturing is going to change that. I hope you can accept me for who I am."
"Okay, so Ina is super hyper, and James is emotional." Nadia notes. "They're literally the exact opposite of how they normally act." Pidge says.
"James, who's Ally?" Keith asks.
"Ally is, well, was, my big sister. I miss her. I haven't seen her in years. Our parents had too high expectations and expected only perfection, so when she turned 18, she dropped out of the Garrison and left. I haven't heard from her since. Last I saw her, her car was kicking up gravel as it sped out of the driveway. I miss her. I miss my big sister. She said she'd come back and visit me, but she never did. And the number she gave me was fake. I don't even know if she's alive. I wish she'd come back. She always said she would come back, but she didn't. She left me."
"That's rough buddy." Ryan says, causing James to flip him off.
"Now is not the time for Avatar jokes, Kinkade. I'm having a crisis."
"But James, you're always having a crisis." Ina states. "Yes, but this time it's not just in my head."
"You know, maybe they wouldn't be so bad if you didn't bottle up all your emotions inside. You do that a lot. When we almost die or we get hurt, when the paladins get hurt, when we thought Veronica died. When you found out your parents were dead. When Ryan got knocked out and almost crashed. You shouldn't keep all your emotions to yourself James. It's not healthy."
"Well neither is not talking at all because you're afraid of being ignored. Everyone listens when you talk Ina, not because you don't do it often, but because we value you and your opinions. You're also really smart and know what you're talking about. And Nadia has a huge crush on you." James laughed. "One time, when she was drunk off some Nunvill Coran gave us, she described your eyes as 'sky blue' and said your smile lights up her world."
"Keith's smile lights up your world."
"Yeah well I used to date him and still like him, but he hates me so it doesn't fucking matter. Nothing really matters. Someday, everything we have and everyone we know will be gone. Our names will just be among the trillions in the database, distant memories of an old war from millenium ago that has no value except for something to be taught in history. Everyone who ever knew you will be gone, and you won't be remembered for who you were but what you did. The little things you do for people, like cover them with blankets when they fall asleep at the workstation or offer reassuring smiles won't matter. All we'll be remembered for is fighting a once evil group of people who were being forced to fight by a crazy dictator who wanted revenge on Shiro. Shiro, the man who couldn't even stay on Earth with his fiance while he was dying of a disease. Adam only went up in the planes because he wanted to make Shiro proud. Because flying reminded him of the one he loved most. He told me himself. And look where it got him. He's dead, and Shiro is banging some random crew member."
"But Adam's now part of the stars. Along with Allura." Ina says. "And like we saw, in other realities, he's fine. Him and Shiro get married and adopt kids, me and Nadia get married and have kids, Ryan marries his girlfriend, Krolia never leaves so Keith isn't an orphan, and her and all the other aliens are human. No one gets killed, and we all live happy lives, going to high school and college together, going to each other's weddings, helping raise each other's kids. Allura is alive, Lotor is a good person, Sendak is an ass still, but only because he's a corporate lawyer for Galra enterprises, a company Zarkon and Honerva own. Lance gets to marry Allura and they have kids, you and Keith pine for a long time and he does hate you for a brief period of time, but you end up dating and get married. Everyone is happy."
"Yeah, but that's another reality, not this one. Why can't things be happy in this reality?"
"Because nothing good ever comes easy. You have to work for things. We only saw part of that reality. Bad things happen, nothing as drastic as what happens to this version of us, but bad things. Drama, fights, breakups. Stuff like that."
James clasps his hand over his stomach. "Why can't our problems be that easy? I'd much rather be dealing with messy breakups and heartaches, cause I understand those. But I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle being 20 years old and fighting a war I didn't even know I was a part of. I'm fighting for my life everyday while also trying to deal with complicated feelings about my ex boyfriend who may or may not hate me."
"James, Keith does not hate you. If he did, he wouldn't look at you like that. With that weird look that's a mix of longing and concern."
"Yeah, but then he's glaring at me."
"Yeah, cause he can't read you. Him and a lot of the Blades do that. They watch you, trying to figure out if you're a threat or not, or how you're feeling based on your body language or facial expression. Axca has told me several times that she doesn't understand you. You're able to conceal your feelings a lot, and she says it's very hard to get a read on you. That's you're kind of a mystery to them. They just know you and Keith shared all, and I mean ALL of your firsts. First crush, first kiss, first time. Everything."
James and Keith both flush a bit, but Ina continues.
"She also says Keith is very bad with feelings, and as a defence mechanism against getting hurt, he pushes people away, not letting them get close, so they can't hurt him. But that just makes him feel even worse when he hurts someone, because he tries so hard not to get hurt himself.
Apparently, he mentions you quite often. He knows he's hurt you, but he doesn't know what to do because he can never tell how you're feeling."