Chapter 15
She spent the whole day tapping her foot anxiously on the floor, waiting for the day to be over so she could get to Bellas rehearsal. Her voice felt way better already and the three days mark had passed which meant Chloe was ready to talk again; she was practically dying here from being silent for that long. She just hoped the surgery wouldn’t have messed up her vocal chords so much.
Her Russian Literature teacher was explaining things that would probably be in the final exam but she couldn’t bring herself to listen. Who cared about school when the Bellas were back in the competition? What she was planning was completely different than what they used to do and they were going to have work to get ready in time for the Final competition in a month.
Finally, her day was done and she made her way to the auditorium, practically skipping. Aubrey seemed pretty excited too but Chloe could see she had her game face on which meant Captain Posen was back. They were on their way to the auditorium when she felt her phone buzz in her back pocket.
beca :)
what time is rehearsal?
She squealed, happily texting the time and location to Beca. Everything was going according to plan, the only left to do would be to convince Aubrey. She knew her fellow Bellas would be into it because she noticed they seemed unsure about their usual routine too so it would be easy to get them on board.
One by one, the Bellas filtered in the auditorium and when they were all there, Aubrey started the rehearsal.
“The aca-gods have looked down on us and given us a second chance,” she said and a few people cheered. Aubrey cut them off, “Let’s get to working.”
Chloe stepped in. It was time to introduce her idea to the group.
“I texted Beca.”
“You did what?” Aubrey said immediately. Chloe could see a hint of confusion and anger in her eyes.
“She’s gonna make us better.” She looked at everyone in the group and took a breath. “We can’t win with the set we have right now. We’re good, yes but we’re not good enough. They’re bored of us out there and we need to bring something different. Beca makes music, she’s really good at it and I know that with her help, we’ll actually have a chance to win.”
Aubrey looked bored, like she didn’t even want to give Chloe’s idea a chance. “That’s not an opinion for you to have, Chloe.”
“Why? Because it’s different than yours? You’re not always right, you know. “
It was silent for a moment while the two seniors looked at each other, trying to see who would look away first.
“Uh.. so what now?” one of the Bellas chirped in.
“We win without the hockey player,” Aubrey snapped and turned away from Chloe to gather the music sheets.
They managed to last an hour of absolutely horrendous singing and dancing before Aubrey snapped.
“What is happening to us? Chloe, you sound like you smoke three packs a day. You’re all behind on the choreography. And you two, it’s like you haven’t even been around all year!” she said and the two Bellas she was pointing at ducked their heads in embarrassment.
Chloe crossed her arms, an exhausted look on her face. “You know what is happening to us. We need Beca.”
“Beca doesn’t know anything about the Bellas! She’s not even one!”
“Exactly!” Chloe shouted, throwing her arms in the air. “That’s what we need! Someone that doesn’t care about upholding stupid traditions that are going to make us lose!”
“Shut it, Chloe!” Aubrey said and a few Bellas looked at each other, afraid of what was happening. The blonde seemed to notice their reactions because she took a breath to appear calm but the redhead knew she was bubbling inside. “I’m sorry. That was rude. Chloe, could you please get your head out of your ass? It’s not a hat. “
“Are you kidding me?” Chloe said angrily, “You’re the one that is leading us to failure.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault? Well that’s what you’re all thinking, right? I’m the jerk. The girl obsessed with winning!” Aubrey put her hand on her mouth with wide eyes and Chloe stood back, flashbacks of her freshman year of college coming back quickly.
She soldiered on though. ”You’re too controlling, Aubrey! It’s ruining us!”
“Hey, I can lose control if I want to! I can let go! This time I’m not going to choke it down! “
“We could have been champions!” Chloe yelled, completely blinded by her anger and lunged forward to grab the pitch pipe. Aubrey’s eyes widened slightly but she didn’t have time to move before they were both on the floor, the pitch pipe flying in the air.
Every Bella was just looking at them, frozen in their place as Chloe and Aubrey wrestled to keep the other on the ground so they could grab the pitch pipe.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” an outsider’s voice called out and the two seniors turned their heads to look at Beca with her laptop under her arm, looking frightened.
They both got to their feet quickly and Chloe tucked a strand of hair between her hair shyly, slightly embarrassed that Beca had seen her in that position.
“Nothing,” Aubrey said, crossing her arms. “This is a Bellas only rehearsal.”
The hockey player seemed unsure and took a step back. “Um.. I know but… Red uh--”
Chloe walked up to her and took her hand to drag her in the middle of the auditorium. She held her head up high.
“She’s staying.”
“Dude,” Beca whispered to her uncomfortably. “You didn’t tell her about this?”
Chloe waved a hand in the air nonchalantly.
Aubrey’s face hardened. “Let me explain this to you because you still don’t seem to understand. Our goal is to win the finals. These songs will make us win. So excuse me if I don’t take advice from some alt girl with her Mad Lib beats when she’s never even been in a competition. Have I made myself clear?“
“Crystal,” Beca said and she made a move to leave but Chloe grabbed her arm.
“Aubrey,” Chloe said, gathering all the confidence she had. “I see the potential we all have and we’re limiting ourselves by doing the same three songs. Look, let Beca show you what she can do. Then you can decide.”
The blonde clenched her jaw but she didn’t say anything so Chloe signaled to the girl that she could go ahead. Beca looked nervous and cleared her throat.
“Um okay, well…“ She looked around the room and gestured at the Bellas sprawled around the auditorium to come closer. Beca was born a leader and the redhead believed in her 100%. She knew if anyone could help them, it was Beca. “We’re gonna remix this shit. Aubrey, pick a song.”
“Bruno Mars. Just the way you are,” she said instantly and Chloe saw the slight raise in Beca’s eyebrow but she didn’t say anything.
“Um, okay yeah I can do that,” the hockey player said and then closed her eyes, trying to remember how the song went. Then, she opened her eyes and started singing the opening notes of the song.
Quickly, the Bellas followed suit, continuing the beat and then Beca pointed at Chloe when it was time to start singing.
She started to sing the lyrics to the song, keeping her eyes straight on the girl conducting. She couldn’t help but feel how accurate this song seemed to be as she looked at the girl she loved. After a couple of verses, Beca joined in with Just a Dream by Nelly where the lyrics also hit a little bit too close to home. Steel blue eyes stayed on her for as long as she could, like she was trying to tell Chloe something. After a moment, she looked away to signal to Aubrey to take over.
Aubrey instantly got the hang of it and continued the song, her voice matching with Chloe’s rendition of Just the way you are perfectly. They sounded good, better than they ever have and it was all because of something Beca thought of in less than a minute.
The last note was sung by Aubrey with a perfect harmony from the rest of the Bellas and Chloe looked at all of them with the biggest smile she ever had. She knew they had it in them, they just needed to try something else.
Even the blonde couldn’t keep the smile off her face and Beca looked pretty proud of herself.
“Girls, I think that was enough for today,” Aubrey said, surprising everyone. “We’ll meet 4 times a week to prepare for the Finals. I hope you guys are ready.”
No one dared to complain. They were all so excited about what was to come, anyway. They all finally felt so inspired about what was to come.
“And Beca, you can come too,” Aubrey added, trying to sound casual. Chloe made eye contact with the girl who looked surprised, a smile at the corner of her mouth.
Chloe went to her bag to gather everything up and Beca joined her, looking a bit awkward since she didn’t know anyone in the team except her.
“So that was something,” Beca said, looking around the room.
“I was pleasantly surprised that Aubrey caved in this easily.”
“Yeah, I think we showed her something good.”
“You showed her something good,” Chloe said. Beca was way too humble for her own good. “I’m really glad you came.”
Beca seemed sincere when she said “Me too.”
“I’m excited to hang out with you 4 times a week,” she teased, poking the girl’s nose. Beca scrunched her face in an adorable way in response.
“We already hang out 4 times a week. I can’t get rid of you, Red.”
“Oh, hush. You love me.”
Beca’s face softened and looked deeply into her eyes. There was a beat of silence where they looked at each other, all their unsaid feelings floating around them.
She wondered what would really happen if Chloe were to tell her how she felt. Would it change something about the way they acted? Would Beca freak out like when they kissed the first time? Would it just end in heartbreak for Chloe?
She had never been good at keeping her feelings hidden and the fact that she had been holding it all in for so long was slowly killing her. It was beginning to be really hard to kiss Beca like she did and not tell her everything she felt; how in love with her she was.
“Beca, can I talk to you a minute?” Aubrey called out, interrupting the moment.
They talked at the piano and Chloe couldn’t hear what they were saying but none of them looked too annoyed at the other so the redhead called it progress. She stayed on the side, telling every Bella goodbye warmly until finally Beca walked away.
“I can see your toner through those jeans!” Aubrey said to her back and Beca turned around to walk backwards.
“That’s my dick,” she replied instantly. She walked up to the ginger and put a hand on Chloe’s bicep. “Listen, I gotta go but we’ll see each other soon, right?”
Chloe nodded, feeling happy that it all worked up perfectly in the end, no matter how rocky it all started. She hugged Beca tightly, feeling the blonde’s eyes on them but she paid her no mind. She’d rather focus on the small body that fit so well against her, the fresh scent of coconut that melted her heart.
“What was that about?” Chloe said to Aubrey when Beca left.
“I just apologized to her for the way I acted and explained how things were gonna go down. I told her I’d try to give her a chance but you know what my dad says; if at first you don’t succeed, pack your bags.”
“Oh sweetie,” Chloe said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
…
Practicing with the Bellas with Beca was even better. The group all seemed way more excited about working towards something that involved them all. Aubrey, Chloe and Beca spent hours at the house figuring out the music and the choreography and it was so easy to spend all that time with them. They still annoyed each other from time to time and the redhead was the one in the middle who had to calm them down but most of the time, it was delightful.
She found that having her best friend and the girl she was in love with in the house quite often made her really happy. Since they worked pretty late every night to plan the entire set in under a month, Beca ended up sleeping over quite often.
She never slept once in a bed that wasn’t Chloe’s.
Aubrey never said anything but the ginger could tell she was against it. Not because it was Beca but because after all this time, they still hadn’t talked about the elephant in the room; the obvious feelings they had for each other.
Chloe wanted to throw it all in the open but everytime she hinted at the future, Beca shut it down. She had even tried to bring up Beca’s passion for hockey again, joking about how she wouldn’t be able to play it as much because of the hot temperature in LA and the brunette had just pulled an uncomfortable expression, without saying anything.
So the redhead would stop herself from telling Beca everything she felt for her and enjoyed the feeling of Beca’s lips on her body and the laughs they’d share in the dark, trying not to wake up Aubrey. Most of the time, she managed to forget that in just a few weeks, the feeling of Beca would just be a memory.
They worked really hard but at least, they could see that all that effort was worth it. The Bellas got better with every rehearsal, the new sound fitting them perfectly and the choreography finally challenging them more. It felt natural to see the hockey player up there with the Bellas, helping them find a certain note from time to time. Sometimes, she’d catch her mimic the choreography in the back and Chloe would chase her around the auditorium and make her do the dance with them.
Every rehearsal, the auditorium was filled with singing and dancing like usual but this time, it was mixed with laughs and smiles and it filled Chloe’s heart every time. All her favorite things combined in the same place made her the most happy she’d ever been and she relished in it. She lived and breathed the Bellas at this point, focusing all her time on working with these girls that made her feel so at home.
If she wasn’t thinking about the Bellas, she was thinking about Beca. Beca’s hands on her, her lips on hers, the way her heart felt like it was going to come out of her chest with the amount of love she had for her. Chloe was complete with Beca around and she didn’t want to think about the Beca-shaped hole she’d have once they parted ways.
So she should have seen it coming really. She should have.
“Hey Chloe, can I talk to you?” she heard from behind her as she walked on campus. She turned around to see her Russian Lit teacher.
“Yeah?” she asked, slightly worried about the nervous expression he had on his face.
“Listen, I know this class is not your favorite and that you only took it because you had credits to fill which is why it pains me to do that. Please understand that I did everything I could so it could not come to this.”
“What’s going on?”
“Chloe, I have no other choice but to fail you.”
“Oh.”
“You know what that means right?” he asked and when Chloe shook her head, he grew even more uncomfortable. “You can’t graduate. You needed this class to get your diploma and with the grade you had on your final exam, it won’t be possible.”
Oh.
She wasn’t graduating. She was staying here at Barden.
“Okay,” she said after a beat.
He seemed to be taken back by her lack of reaction. “Are you… going to be okay?”
She nodded.
“Uh right well… I’m here if you need to talk, okay?”
“Okay,” she repeated.
It was weird, she thought. She had been telling herself that she didn’t want to move on for so long but never once thought about purposely failing her classes to not graduate. Her subconscious probably made her do it while she focused all her attention on the Bellas and Beca.
She felt sad about the fact that she wasn’t going to graduate along with her best friend but she probably didn’t feel as sad as she should be about the idea of being a super senior. She almost felt relieved. Relieved that she didn’t have to be on her own just yet, that she would still have the comfort of Barden around her.
She had more time to figure what she wanted to do with her future. She kind of felt like she could breathe again.
She entered the Bellas’ household with a pensive expression on her face. Aubrey was on the couch and immediately caught that something had happened.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Chloe walked to the couch and sat down, her entire body still. Aubrey waited for her to talk and then the redhead cleared her throat.
“I’m uh-- I’m not graduating.”
Aubrey froze next to her. “What?” she asked after a moment of silence. Chloe looked at her and it was a weird feeling. It almost felt like none of this was real and that she’d wake up soon but it very much was real.
“My Russian Lit teacher just told me. I failed the class so I can’t get my diploma.”
“Holy shit,” Aubrey said and put her hand on Chloe’s lap for comfort. “Are you okay?”
Chloe took a moment to think about it. She thought about what it really meant to not graduate and honestly? She couldn’t find that many things wrong with it.
“Yeah,” she said and then nodded more confidently. “Yeah I am. I mean, I’ve been feeling so stressed out about the future so it gives me more time to think about it, right? I love being here and I love being a Bella. That’s what matters to me right now and I’m okay with that.”
Aubrey looked at her for a few moments. Chloe knew how important graduating was to her and she was scared for a second the blonde was going to be mad at her for whatever reason. Instead, Aubrey took her in her arms and Chloe wrapped her arms tightly around her best friend and even though she wasn’t sad, she definitely needed the comfort right now.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” Aubrey muttered in her hair. “I’m sad we’re not going to be graduating together but I’m glad you’re okay.”
She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of her friend. They stayed that way for a while, just hugging until they heard the front door open and close. They turned around to see Beca looking at them curiously.
“Uh… is everything okay here?”
The hockey player went to the house so much that after a while she had just stopped knocking. Chloe couldn’t explain how good it felt to be cooking something in the kitchen and to just have Beca walk in the room like they lived together.
Aubrey kissed her temple and got up. “I’m gonna leave you two alone,” she said and Chloe rolled her eyes. The blonde kept saying she felt like a third wheel when she was with them but it wasn’t like they did it on purpose.
Beca looked worried and Chloe shook her head with a smile to tell her nothing bad happened. Well technically, it was bad but Chloe wasn’t taking it too hard. The hockey player sat where Aubrey sat seconds ago and cringed.
“God, she has a warm butt.”
Chloe chuckled and took Beca’s hand, intertwining their fingers easily.
“So you know how I’m graduating in a week?”
Anyone else wouldn’t have noticed anything but Chloe had spent what felt like hours studying Beca’s face so she immediately caught on to the jaw clench and how her body froze when Chloe spoke. Interesting.
“Yeah?”
“Well I’m not.”
Chloe swore she heard Beca’s heart stop for a second.
“Wait, what?”
“I’m not graduating. My Russian Lit just told me I failed his class.”
“Holy fuck Chlo, I’m so sorry,” Beca said, moving closer to the redhead. Chloe observed her carefully as Beca’s hand moved to her back and her other hand squeezed Chloe’s. All of that because she knew her love language was physical touch and because she wanted to be there for her when Chloe was sad.
She thought of the Beca she met months ago that didn’t even know how to hug someone in a way that wasn’t awkward and how now Beca didn’t even think twice about touching her. The thought brought tears to her eyes and the hockey player instantly freaked out.
“Hey no, don't cry. It’s not a big deal, okay? It’s not.”
Chloe shook her head, releasing a teary laugh. “No, I’m okay. I’m okay, I swear. I’m just--” She looked at the brunette in front of her and felt warm in her stomach. “I just love you. Thank you.”
Beca reacted visibly to the fact that it was the first time she told her she loved her out loud. Even though she probably didn’t think Chloe meant it the way she did, it still meant a lot to her to say it. Getting over the shock fairly quickly for someone like Beca, she smiled and leaned forward to kiss the redhead’s forehead.
“I love you too,” her lips murmured against the skin.
Chloe closed her eyes and blindly reached to grab a hold of Beca’s waist. The words echoed in her mind, each time filling her up a little bit more. All she could do was hold on to Beca like a lifeline and hope nothing would tip over in their last two weeks together.
Because if everything were to spill over again, Beca would be thousands of miles too far to clean it up with Chloe.