Chapter 12
“Where we you?”
Chloe’s eyes widened in surprise when Aubrey practically attacked her as soon as she came in through the door.
“Hello to you too, Bree,” she said, throwing her shoes in the closet carelessly.
“Hello Chloe. Where were you? I’ve been trying to call you.”
“I was at Beca’s, I told you.” Truthfully, she would have stayed even longer if she could’ve but they both knew Kimmy-Jin was coming back some time this evening and they preferred not to get caught in a compromising position again. She smiled at the thought of what had occured today.
Aubrey followed her to the kitchen. “No, you told me you were going to Beca’s yesterday. I thought you’d come back after hockey practice.”
Chloe sighed, moving around the kitchen. She didn’t like the condescending tone that Aubrey had. She wondered when her real friend was going to come back and replace the Captain of the Bellas . She wasn’t sure if she ever would. She brushed it off quickly. Today had been a good day; she didn’t want anything ruining it.
“We weren’t done hanging out,” she said, not even able to contain the smile on her face. “But I’m back now so what’s the problem?”
She skipped to the fridge and Aubrey observed her every move carefully. She looked for a second before pulling out a wine bottle and looking at her friend.
“We should get wine drunk!”
“What? Chloe, it’s three in the afternoon.”
Chloe grinned, excited about her idea. “So what? We’re college students, isn’t that what we do?”
“I don’t know… “
Chloe took Aubrey by the shoulders, her best smile on her face. “Come on! I miss my best friend. We never hang out anymore.”
“Yeah, cause we have to focus on the Bellas and--”
“Bree,” Chloe cut her off. “I wanna hang out with Aubrey, not the captain of the Bellas. Please? No talk about Bellas just girl talk, like we used to do,” she pleaded with puppy eyes.
“Fine. I’ll drink a little.”
After a shower that she desperately needed and an empty wine bottle later, Chloe laid down on the floor while Aubrey was leaning her back on the bed. They had been telling each other stories and laughing maniacally the whole time and the redhead was happy. She felt like things were normal again.
She liked the way life was now, the Bellas, Aubrey, Dames. She didn’t want anything to change. The smile must have dropped from her face because Aubrey nudged her with her foot.
“What are you thinking about?”
Chloe kept her eyes on the ceiling, her hand still around the bottle. She was a comfortable amount of drunk and it seemed like she was floating a little.
“Do you ever think about the future?”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re seniors. After this, we’re just… set free into the adult world. Doesn’t that scare you?”
Aubrey hummed a little. “I guess not. I’m actually kind of excited to not have to coach the Bellas anymore.”
Chloe knit her eyebrows together. “Wait, I thought you liked being in the Bellas?”
“I do. Well I love singing and I love the girls but… to be honest everytime I go on stage, I feel like I’m gonna puke.”
Chloe looked at Aubrey and they stared at each other before bursting into laughter again. The redhead’s body shook a little as she giggled and Aubrey slid down so she could lay down on her back next to Chloe.
After they calmed down, Chloe took a breath. “The Bellas are my family. I don’t wanna leave.”
“You’re gonna have to,” Aubrey said like it was the simplest thing in the world but it wasn’t. There were so many things she felt she could still do here and it would feel like a waste to just leave.
She was interrupted by her phone buzzing and when she saw who it was, she immediately smiled.
beca :)
i’ve been trying to come up with an excuse to text you for twenty minutes now i give up
all i have is: you left your tank top at my place and you should come get it at one point when my roommate isn’t there
She felt the butterflies in her stomach and subtly moved so Aubrey couldn’t see her screen.
red
oh i definitely need that tank top, you’re right
besides i’ll have to give you back your hoodie ;)
beca :)
it looks better on you than it ever could on me
ew that sounded lame
forget i said that
red
i won’t nice try
you’re so obsessed with me now i told you you would be
beca :)
i think you’re the secretly obsessed one actually
red
oh but that’s not a secret sweet beca ;)
“Look at you,” Aubrey said, pulling her out of the conversation with Beca.
“What?” Chloe said innocently even though she could still feel the grin on her face.
“You like her so much it’s gross.”
Chloe giggled, moving to her side and she felt the effect of the alcohol in her body as she moved closer to the blonde.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Please.”
“I’m falling in love with her.”
Aubrey sat up in half a second and steadied herself when she felt her head spinning.
“You’re what?” she said with wide eyes.
Chloe sat up slowly and giggled when she almost fell backwards. She leaned on her hands, a smile splitting her face in half. There was no better feeling than love, Chloe thought. What other feeling could make someone feel so complete?
“I’m falling in love with her,” she repeated.
Aubrey rubbed her face and then sighed. “Chloe, I-- What do you mean you’re falling in love with her, you’re not even dating.”
Chloe shook her head vigorously. “Nope!” She paused and lay her head back down on the floor, her arms over her head. “You think she’d date me if I didn’t graduate this year?”
“What? Have you guys talked about this? Does she know you’re in love with her?”
“God no. I told her we’re just having fun.”
“Having fun doing what?”
Chloe turned her head to her side to see Aubrey looking at her with a perplexed expression.
“Kissing.”
“Kissing?”
“Kissing.”
“When did you start kissing Beca Mitchell?”
“About three weeks ago?”
“About three weeks ago?” Aubrey repeated loudly. “Wha-- I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
Chloe put her hands on her stomach, feeling them go up and down as she breathed. “We’re just having fun.”
“That seems like a bad idea.”
“But it feels so good, Bree,” Chloe said dreamily. “She makes me feel so full.”
“Do you think she likes you too?”
Chloe sighed, her hands going down as she exhaled. “I don’t know? She’s so confusing. It’s like sometimes I feel like I know everything I need to about her and then out of nowhere comes this new facial expression that I can’t figure out. Also there’s that stupid Jesse that keeps circling around her.”
“We’re graduating in three month.”
"Apparently."
“What do you mean ‘apparently’? It’s factual.”
Chloe shrugged, feeling an idea bubbling up in her head. Maybe graduating didn’t have to happen right away, you know? Wasn’t college the time to figure yourself out? What if she wasn’t done with figuring herself out?
“I don’t know if this girl is a good influence on you.”
Chloe rolled her eyes, side-eyeing Aubrey. “A good influence? I’m not a child, Aubrey. Jesus. Besides, Beca just likes to push your buttons, it doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. You’re exaggerating.”
“She’s distracting you from the Bellas.”
“She’s actually been helping me with the Bellas.”
“How would she even do that?”
Not that Beca knew or anyone else for that matter but the time Chloe asked the hockey player to tell her how to mash-up two songs, she maybe had something in the back of her mind. She had been inspired by the captain of the Dames to take more risks.
Beca was always in control of what she did, on the ice or behind a computer screen, but she wasn’t afraid to get what she wanted. No matter what, she’d get the puck or she’d make the two songs mix.
“She’s just helping me,” Chloe said, a hint of secrecy in her voice.
…
Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe she shouldn’t do this and stick with the routine the Bellas have prepared. After all, it was a big risk. But it was probably a risk worth taking. The Bellas were old news by now, the public liked the Treblemakers because they were different and Chloe had to take the matter into her own hands.
It was a Friday night and she was standing backstage at the Semi-Finals. All the Bellas were chatting nervously but she was in her corner, saving her voice to make sure it didn’t crack on stage. She was wondering how long she could put off this surgery. Her fingers typed quickly on her phone screen while her left foot was tapping uncontrollably on the floor.
red
I’m nervous
beca :)
dude it’ll go super well
you’ll be amazing i can just see it
red
you’ve never even seen me on stage
beca :)
but i’ve heard you sing many many times and your voice is amazing, red
red
you’re just saying that because youve seen me sing naked one too many times
beca :)
definitely a plus
but you do have a great voice
if you’re nervous, just imagine i’m there
i totally would be if my dad wasnt forcing me to have a stupid dinner with him
red
I’m guessing you need some good luck too huh?
beca :)
definitely
the step monster is there too. god she sucks
red
booooo
beca :)
it’ll go great chlo
you’ll tell me how it goes tomorrow?
red
luke gave me the day off to relax after the competition
beca :)
booooo
i’ll miss you or whatever
“Bellas, you’re up in 30 seconds,” Benji said and Aubrey called them over. She looked at them in the eyes one by one.
“Aca-huddle! Now! The top two teams go to the finals. We just have to beat one of them. If we do it exactly as we rehearsed, we’ll get there.”
Chloe looked at the Footnotes and cringed. They were good. Really good. They wouldn’t be able to win over them and the Treblemakers with their routine.
“Chloe!” Aubrey said, snapping fingers in her face. “ Exactly as we rehearsed,” she repeated as if she could read inside her mind. The redhead made a ‘duh’ face with her stage smile in response.
The Footnotes ended their set and the crowd exploded in applause. She gulped, loosening her bandana a little and took a deep breath.
“Put your hands together for the Barden Bellas!” The animator said and she walked behind Aubrey to get to the stage. She got in position and waited for the pitch pipe.
She did the solo that she usually had at the beginning of the song while looking at the crowd. The sound guy was on his phone, the audience looked bored. She needed to do something about it.
So as soon as Aubrey started her solo, she jumped in with what she had made Beca help her with three weeks ago; matching Bulletproof with The Sign.
“ This time baby, I’ll be bulletproof, ” she sang on top of Aubrey’s voice and the blonde looked at her with wide eyes.
Take controlled risks, Chloe. That’s what Beca would do.
The Bellas seemed a little bit thrown off, Aubrey was shooting daggers at her but the audience had perked up and they were definitely more interested than they were 20 seconds ago.
She sang her last “ bulletproof ” at the same time that Aubrey ended her solo, telling her she did a good job matching the rhythm back at Beca’s and smiled to herself. The blonde looked at her, her entire body tensed but Chloe kept her eyes straight forward.
“What the hell, Chloe?” Aubrey said as soon as they stepped off the stage. “Were you trying to screw us up? This isn’t the Chloe show!”
The redhead scoffed, offended that Aubrey would even think that Chloe did something against the Bellas. “Are you serious? In case you hadn’t noticed everyone pretty much dozed off during our set!”
“It’s not up to you to decide what we do and when we do it. I’m the captain here. Why don’t you ask the rest of the group how they felt about your little improvisation?”
Chloe looked at the group but no one said anything. She couldn’t believe no one believed that this was the right call. This might have been the only thing that made them go to the Finals because there was no way they were beating the Footnotes without something special. She could feel the Trebles’ eyes on them as the argument went on.
“Right. I forgot I didn’t have a say in what happened in this group.”
“This is all because of Beca, isn’t it?”
“Oh my-”
“No, it is. She’s a grade A pain in my ass, her attitude sucks and you changed since you met her! And for what? She’s probably gonna just break your heart and hook up with Jesse behind your back!”
The words cut Chloe like a knife and her mouth snapped shut. She felt the tears spring to her eyes and to make matters worse, Jesse walked over to them at the mention of his name.
“What? Aubrey, I promise we’re not--”
“Can you stay out of this?” Chloe snapped at him. She knew it was unfair to him because he was just trying to help but now she couldn’t stop thinking of Beca hooking up with him as soon as Chloe left. All she had in mind was the time he called during a makeout session and Beca had actually stopped to answer the phone. “God, why are you always here? Just get out of my face!”
Jesse looked shocked to see the usually bubbly girl screaming in his face and he took a step back.
“Trebles? Time to bring the pain,” Benji interrupted the conversation, completely oblivious to what had been happening. He saw the tears in Chloe’s eyes and the angry expression on Aubrey’s face and his mouth formed a little “o”.
“You know what?” Chloe said, her voice cracking. She wasn’t sure what felt worse; the nodes that made her throat feel on fire or Aubrey’s words. “If this is what I get for trying, I’m done.”
She tore off her scarf, throwing it on the ground dramatically and walked away. She didn’t care that she didn’t know the results yet, she had already lost enough for the evening.
“Chloe!” she heard Benji run after her but she ignored him.
She made her way home without music or humming to herself.
Completely empty.
She stayed in the parking lot of the Bellas’ house for a long time, debating what to do. After 10 minutes, she decided to start the engine again and made her way to the dorms. She hoped Beca was back because she was probably sure she was the only one that could make her feel better right now.
She knocked and Kimmy-Jin opened the door with an annoyed expression, a couple of her friends on her bed. Damn it. She was too tired to get home. Her entire body felt heavy.
“She’s not here.”
“I’ll just wait,” Chloe said, pushing Beca’s roommate out of the way gently. Still in the Bellas’ uniform, she slipped under the covers and faced the wall. She felt her heart flutter in her chest when she inhaled the coconut scent that she was so familiar with now and closed her eyes.
“We better leave,” Kimmy-Jin said and Chloe heard the sound of a few people getting off the bed. “Redhead is even more annoying than the white girl.”
Chloe couldn’t even afford to feel hurt by the words and she just waited until she finally heard the door close to release quiet tears. She hated fighting with Aubrey and that had been their worst fight yet. She wasn’t sure they could recover from that. With Aubrey, the Bellas winning were a matter of life or death and there was nothing that she hated more than losing control of a situation. Chloe had jeopardized both.
She felt her phone buzz and her heart sank when she saw it wasn’t from Aubrey.
“ We came third place, ” the text read from one of her fellow Bellas. With that, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
She woke up when she felt a soft hand stroking her hair. For a moment, she imagined it was Aubrey because sometimes after a fight and the blonde felt bad, she’d wake up Chloe that exact way. Except that time when she rolled over, Chloe saw Beca. It still made her feel a little better.
Beca was sitting on the edge of the bed, still dressed in appropriate clothing for a dinner with parents and Chloe assumed she had just come back from her father’s. Chloe suddenly felt guilty about imposing in Beca’s space like that.
“Hey Red,” Beca whispered softly. Chloe rubbed her eyes a little, enjoying the caress in her hair.
“Hey,” she said, voice hoarse from sleeping. “Sorry, I just invaded your space like this. I didn’t know where else to go and--”
“It’s fine,” Beca caught her off with a hand. “I’m pretty sure opening up your dorm room and seeing Chloe Beale in your bed would make anyone happy.”
She smiled a little at the compliment. Beca seemed pleased with herself.
“Not that I don’t absolutely love that flight attendant uniform, Beale, because believe me, it really does it for me.” Chloe released a breathy laugh and the hockey player pulled off the covers of the bed with a smile. “But I think we should get you in some more comfy clothes.”
Chloe nodded and shifted so she could sit with her feet on the ground. Beca bent down in front of her to unbutton her blue jacket and the redhead looked at her tenderly.
“I can undress myself you know.”
“I’m taking care of you, Red. Accept it.” Beca said, taking off the jacket and throwing it on the ground to move on to the white blouse. “Besides, I quite like undressing you.”
Chloe scoffed with a smile on the corner of her mouth. “Perv.”
“You bring it out of me.”
After some time, both her and Beca were in sweatpants and tee shirts. Beca took off the heavy eyeliner that she had put on for the dinner and Chloe wiped away her makeup next to her. All of it was done in silence but it was comfortable. It was exactly what she needed to feel a little less empty.
They slipped into bed and faced each other. They looked at each other as if they were trying to memorize every little detail, like they needed to remember it because they’d never see each other again. Little did Beca know, Chloe had been able to picture her face perfectly for a while now, imagining it quite often in her dreams.
“How was dinner?” Chloe asked in a small voice.
“It was okay,” Beca said, reaching over to put an arm around her waist. Chloe instantly got closer and hid her face in the hockey player’s neck to feel safe. Because of Beca’s small body, it was usually Chloe that was the big spoon but she desperately needed the reassurance tonight. To know that one of the most important people in her life wasn’t mad at her like Aubrey or the rest of the Bellas were.
“That’s good,” she muttered against her neck. She felt a kiss on the top of her head.
“You wanna talk about it?”
Chloe pulled away to be able to look into blue eyes that seemed so cold to everyone else but her.
“Not really. Is that okay?”
Beca didn’t reply. She just leaned in to close the distance between their lips for a slow kiss. Their lips barely moved against each other but passion wasn’t what Chloe needed right now. She needed the tenderness, the gentleness that came from a kiss where you could show all the feelings you had for someone without words. They pulled away and stared at each other for a long time. Finally, Beca smiled.
“Goodnight, Chlo.”
“Goodnight, Becs.”
Beca reached over to close the lamp and the dorm room became so dark, she couldn’t even see the girl in front of her anymore. But she could feel her everywhere around her body and Chloe fell asleep with the thought that they were the only two people that existed in the world right now.