Damn you, Andromeda
Cassie truly couldn't remember the last time she had felt this happy. After being dragged into the house by Sirius, she managed to get away from him long enough to greet Ted with a hug before she started gushing over how big the twins had gotten. As they had managed to gather themselves around the dinner table, Cassie couldn't stop smiling as she watched Rabastan and Sirius starting up a conversation. While Ted was filling Andora's plate with food, Andromeda did the same with Nymphadora's.
"So, how was Christmas?" Andromeda asked casually as she looked up from her daughter's plate.
As her mouth was filled with food, Cassie, unable to answer, held up a finger before lifting her glass, drowning some water, making it easier for her to swallow it. "It was eventful." she breathed out.
The older woman raised a brow at her cousin's answer, her face stained with clear dissatisfaction. "Eventful..." Andromeda scoffed. " That's pretty vague. Would you care to entertain us?"
Cassie glanced at Rabastan, who was already looking at her, as well as everyone else. What should she say? Most days, I hid in my room, though one night I fell asleep under the stars, then danced and got a little drunk. Oh, by the way, I'm pretty sure your sister's a death eater. That would be an eventful conversation for sure, however not rather pleasant.
"Well, we went to London one day, there was the Christmas ball," a shiver crawled down her spine as the dream from this morning flashed quickly through her mind causing her to add, "oh, and Rabastan took the underground for the first time."
"Let me guess, he walked into the barrier, didn't he?" Sirius asked, unable to keep the grin off his face. "They always do that."
"You did that, or have you forgotten?" she stared deadpan at her brother, recalling a similar situation folding out just last year when she and the boys had taken one day of their stay at the Potters to take a trip into London. As Peter and Remus, along with Cassie, had taken the underground before, they already knew how to work with the tickets and the ticket barrier, and though while they passed through with ease, it didn't take long before they noticed two of the Marauders were missing and was currently trying to walk through the closed barrier. She remembered how Remus took one look at the two and tried his best to bite back the grin on his face, while Peter burst out laughing, shook his head before going over to the two, trying to help them.
Sirius waved his hand dismissively, pretending not to know what she was talking about, which just made her smile.
"You should have seen Regulus. He absolutely loved it." Rabastan spoke up for the first time, drawing the table's attention. His lips were curled upwards in a smile as he recalled the younger boy's reaction. "That and those busses without roofs."
"For a moment, I was worried he would fall off with how much he was leaning over," Cassie added, causing Andromeda to laugh.
Her brown eyes twinkled as she smiled. "I remember my first time on them. I think Ted had to hold me down so I wouldn't fall over."
Her husband nodded his head smiling as he lifted his mug of water to his lips and took a sip. "If I hadn't, you would have fallen over for sure, considering how eager you were."
"Can you blame me? I've never done anything like that before. It was like flying on a broomstick."
"Only it was much slower?" Cassie laughed, causing her cousin to look at her and nod, surprise etched into her features. "Regulus said the exact same thing."
At the mention of her youngest cousin, Andromeda perked up slightly as she couldn't help but wonder just how he was doing. "How is he?"
"Okay, I think. He's been reading quite a bit, but I suppose it's not really that much for him to do at the Lestrange's Manor." Cassie said. "Though you should have seen him at the Christmas ball, he danced with a girl." She paused for a moment, letting the tension build slightly before adding. "And smiled."
Sirius's eyes widened, and he seemed almost excited. From the look of it, one would almost think that he was bout to burst out of his seat. "Really? He smiled?" Cassie nodded, causing the older boy to continue. "Well, that's a first. Usually, he'd wear that stoic expression of his. You know the one that practically screams help me."
Remembering back to some of the previous balls, Cassie smiled when she recalled the expression her younger brother wore whenever he was dancing with someone. Unless it was with her, he was usually rather quiet and uncomfortable, mostly because every single girl he danced with was someone his mother had set him up with as a potential daughter in law and she made no effort to hide it. Suppose that was the reason she had been so surprised when she had seen him smile that night.
"Who was it?" Ted asked curiously, and Cassie couldn't help but notice how Andromeda leaned slightly forward.
She tried to recall the blonde girl, but she couldn't pin a face to the light locks no matter how hard she tried. "Honestly, I don't know." It frustrated her to no end. Worst was it that had it not been for Rabastan, the speech he had given her during the ball when they had seen the young couple dancing, she most likely would have, somehow, found out the girl's name.
"Are you serious?" Andromeda groaned softly, though quickly added, "Don't even think about it." She pointed a finger and glanced sternly at Sirius, who had opened his mouth and was on his way with a reply almost every one of them was expecting to come.
"You don't even know what I was about to say." He defended, only to receive a pointed look from his cousin, while Ted and Cassie stifled their laughs.
"Oh, trust me, mister, I know perfectly well what you were about to say. Don't forget I've known you your whole life." The brunette stated while wiggling her finger at him.
Cassie snuck a glance at Rabastan, who was trying, it seemed, really hard not to laugh as Sirius instead focused his eyes on the bowl of potatoes and silently reached for them, starting to pile a couple of potatoes on his plate.
"You and Rabastan should make a club with that joke. You have no idea how many times he's used it on me."
Rabastan couldn't keep in his snort, drawing the attention of the four people, including the two toddlers. "Like you have never used it before," He retorted. "I'm pretty sure the two of you would be the presidents of that club."
The twins glanced at each other for a moment before they started nodding approvingly, turning back to Rabastan. "We would." They said simultaneously, causing Rabastan to let out a deep sigh while muttering jokingly. "What on earth have I gotten myself into."
"Oh, trust me, we are the good ones in the family." Sirius chuckled. "You're lucky to be stuck with us."
Cassie scrunched her face for a moment as if remembering they weren't the only members of the Black family that the poor boy next to her was stuck with. And as her face fell into her mind, Cassie willed it away as fast as she could. Not wanting to damper the mood, at least not while she was around these people.
Andromeda, who seemed to have caught the look on her cousin's face, couldn't help but feel slightly intrigued about what it was that made her look like that. Of course, her sister fell into her mind, but whether it was a maternal instinct or not, she felt as if there was something the younger girl was hiding.
"So.." Sirius drew out, earning the attention of all people. "How was the shopping?"
"What shopping?" Andromeda wondered.
"Our dear Cassie here bought herself a wedding dress earlier this week."
Her brown eyes widened, switching her gaze from one twin to the other. "Really?" she asked. "How did that go?"
"Did you get a princess dress?" A sweet little voice piped in, causing Cassie to smile. Andora, the youngest of the two twins, peeked up from her food as she looked at her cousin. While Nymphadora was more like Ted, her sister was the split image of their mother, from her brown hair to her brown eyes.
" It may not be a princess dress, but I'm sure a princess would wear it."
"Doesn't that mean that it's a princess dress?" Another voice piped up as Cassie turned to Nymphadora. The normally lighter-haired girl was now the spitting image of her younger sister, or rather, she was her. Cassie couldn't help but smile at the young metamorphmagus.
"Well.. not exactly, usually a princess dress is very big and puffy, you know like ball gowns. My dress is not that big."
"I still think you should have brought it with you," Sirius commented.
"Yeah, right," Cassie snorted, "And giving mother the pleasure of something happening to it, not a chance."
"So I take it she doesn't approve?"
Cassie shook her head at her cousin. Truthfully the fact that her mother disapproved of the dress was more of an understatement. She hated it, and she hated the fact that Cerys bought it. But mostly, the matriarch hated it because it wasn't a princess ball gown.
"According to Cassia, her mother hated it. It didn't make it any better because my mother loved it so much that she bought it. You should have seen the tension between the two of them at breakfast the next morning." Rabastan said, causing Andromeda's eyes to widen.
"Did she say anything, or was it the normal silent treatment along with the rather distasteful glares?" Sirius asked, drawing Rabastans attention towards him. While the two boys got lost in their conversation, Cassie locked eyes with Andromeda, who bore a smug grin on her face as she raised a single eyebrow. Cassia? she mouthed, causing the younger girl to roll her eyes.
Throughout the rest of the dinner, whenever Cassie locked eyes with her cousin, a smug teasing grin would be sent her way.
"Where are the boys?" Cassie asked when Andromeda entered the living room, throwing herself down on the couch next to her cousin.
Andromeda leaned her head back, letting her body sink into the couch as she sighed deeply. "Ted's putting the girls to bed. Your two other boys, however," her lips curled up in a smirk. "I think they are listening to some quidditch program or something on the radio."
Rolling her eyes, Cassie responded. "They are not my boys."
"No, it's just your brother and your fiance. Not your boys at all."
Stretching her hand out, Cassie tried to gently push her cousin though she barely managed to move her an inch. Andromeda glanced amusingly at the hand and couldn't help but chuckle, "What are you? twelve?"
She rolled her eyes yet again, fighting a smile before she changed the topic. "You knew we were coming?" Cassie couldn't help but ask as she shifted her position, turning to face her cousin. She pulled her knees towards her and resumed the position she had been sitting in at the cottage earlier that day.
"Of course, I knew you were coming," Andromeda said. "A week ago, I got a letter from Rabastan. I have to say I was rather uncertain at first, especially about what he would want. Even though Bella married his brother, we never really spoke much with Rabastan. He wrote and told me that though it might seem strange that he was writing, he would really want to bring you here during the last week of the holiday. Honestly, I have to say I'm surprised that he would do that, but of course, since it's been so long since we've seen each other, I couldn't really say no, could I?"
A smile tickled the corner of Cassie's lips as she thought about the dark-haired boy. "I... During Slughorn's Christmas party, I told him that the one thing I wanted more than anything for Christmas was a way for the two of us to run away if it became too much with our parents and such. But I could never in my wildest dreams imagine that he would have taken me here, or let alone reach out to you." She said. Her smile had widened ever so slightly as she had spoken, and before she had even noticed it, her mouth opened again, and words fell out.
"You know, he keeps surprising me almost every day. Not just with the things he says, but how he treats Regulus, the little things he does or remembers, like the fact that he likes stargazing and hiking, the food he makes is incredible, and you should see how his face scrunches up whenever he drinks blue delight and– well... I don't know. He's so different from what I imagined."
A strange look covered the older woman's face as she heard Cassie's rant and studied her for a moment. Andromeda narrowed her eyes slightly before smiling brightly as if she had reached some sort of a conclusion or answer. "I can see that," she said, but Cassie couldn't help but feel as if there was some sort of hidden meaning to it. "Do you like him?"
"W-what?" Cassie stuttered, not expecting that question.
"Do you like him?"
"Why are you asking me that?"
Andromeda hummed lightly as she raised herself. Changing her position, she placed her right arm on the back of her couch, resting her chin in her palm. "Because I think you do." She replied knowingly. "Do I also need to remind you that I have known you your entire life? This is the first time I've ever heard you talk about a boy like that. Actually, I think this is the first time you've even mention a boy."
No matter how much she tried, Cassie wasn't able to fight the growing warmth on her cheeks, her eyes widened slightly at the unexpected words, and she found herself rather speechless. "Well, he is my fiance. It would be strange if I didn't talk about him." She stammered.
"Yeah.. but I don't think that's it." It was almost as if Andromeda was staring straight into Cassie's soul. At least it felt that way. She had forgotten how well her older cousin was able to read her or read anyone for that matter; it was almost like she knew what you were thinking with just a look.
"Something's bothering you, isn't it? I've seen it on your face the entire night."
It never failed to amaze Cassie at how obervant the older woman was. Though her mind had been filled with dresses, cottages, and secret cult meetings in the kitchen. Some part, one that she had tried not to think about too much, had been occupied by Rabastan. Ever since she had arrived at the Lestranges, no, that wasn't right. Ever since Slughorn's Christmas party, she had found herself letting his face linger a bit more in her mind than she would have liked.
"I. I just feel... Merlin." She buried her fingers in her hair. "I don't even know what I feel."
A warm hand appeared on her knee, and she could hear the comforting if not motherly tone her cousin held. "It's okay," she assured. "I know this can't be an easy situation you're in. Honestly, I don't even know how you're able to do this. Sure he's nice, but it's not like you chose him."
"It's not that... it's not-" her voice halted as the words died in her mouth. For a moment, she could have punched herself, there was no reason to worry Andromeda by telling what was really bothering her, but that didn't mean that she had to lie, especially not since there had been something else on her mind too. She took a deep breath, feeling her shoulders and body lower slightly as she exhaled.
"You're right. You're absolutely right." She lied, "I just feel conflicted, and I don't know what to do." That at least was true. "I always knew there was a chance I might end up in an arranged marriage, though I had hoped it wouldn't happen. I never expected it to be with Rabastan– I never expected him. When the engagement was announced, I was terrified, you more than anyone know how Rodolphus is-"
"You were scared that Rabastan would be just like his brother?"
"I was." Cassie responded, "I was so scared when I wrote the first letter and even more scared when I received his reply. I carried it around a whole day just because I was afraid of what it would say. But when I met him, I was completely blown away. He is nothing like his brother. He's kind, funny, easily embarrassed, though sometimes he says these things that shock the life out of me, especially when he's been drinking. And he's so thoughtful and great, and this is all just-" a groan slipped from her mouth as her fingers moved through her hair before falling to their previous position.
"Too much?" Andromeda asked.
"Yeah.."
She studied her younger cousin again before she tried once more. "Do you like him? Like really like him?" she asked.
Cassie looked as helpless as she felt. Rabastan was great, and she did like him, but she just wasn't sure of how much. He was beautiful to look at, and his personality was great, but what if it was just a silly little schoolgirl crush. He was, after all, one of the few male friends she had besides the marauders. But still, she couldn't shake the feeling, the feeling that had appeared yesterday when the snow had been falling around them when he had looked down at her with his warm eyes and that gentle, sweet smile. It truly was-
"Maybe. I'm not quite sure." She nibbled her lower lip nervously when she finished, watching the comforting smile never leaving Andromeda's face.
"Just because your marriage might be arranged doesn't necessarily mean that there won't be room for love. You know... love finds you in the most unexpected and craziest ways you could imagine."
"Andromeda, I'm not even sure what I feel for him. Don't you think love is a bit too soon?"
"I'm just saying that even if you might feel conflicted now, things always end up how they are supposed to." She paused, slightly amused by the almost bewildered expression on Cassie's face. "He obviously cares a lot about you. The fact that he went through all the trouble of bringing you here says a lot. He even has a nickname for you. And the way you talk about him-"
"Dromeda..."
"Again, I'm just saying," Andromeda started. "That just because you didn't choose each other doesn't mean that it's impossible for there to be some sort of love. Even if it's just platonic."
As Cassie laid staring up at the ceiling in the bedroom she had been given, the conversation with her cousin laid heavily on her mind, so much that without truly realizing it, all lingering thoughts about the dream she had last night had all but disappeared. She hadn't really given it much thought, at least not until Andromeda had asked her, but now she couldn't stop thinking about it.
When Sirius and Rabastan had entered the living room a little while later, her cousin's words rang through her mind as her eyes stayed on Rabastan, who sat down in a chair, laughing at something her brother had said. As if feeling her gaze, he moved his eyes from Sirius and locked with hers. Almost immediately, a smile tugged his mouth, causing Cassie to send one in return before turning away.
Even after Ted had returned downstairs and the five were spread across the living room switching between listening to Sirius as he shared stories of his Christmas with the Potters. Andromeda and Ted's stories about the twins, and how Ted's parents had been celebrating with them, and Rabastan and Cassie's stories about the ball and their trip to London. Even as those stories were told, a certain pair of brown eyes found themselves more than often studying the man across her, and each time he caught her, a smile would be shared until she looked away.
A smile, that even as she lay staring up at the wooden ceiling in the dark, still lingered in her head. Damn you, Andromeda, she thought, damn you.
A soft knock, so quiet that Cassie almost missed it, sounded at her door. She raised herself in a sitting position before leaning over to the lamp on her nightstand, flicking the light on, casting a warm hue in the room.
"Come in." She called out quietly, watching as the doorknob turned and a mop of dark hair appeared between the open door.
"I didn't wake you did I?" The familiar voice rang through her ears, laced with slight guilt that caused her to smile.
"No, I was just thinking. Come here." She scooted further to the left side of her wide bed, patting gently at the lingering warmth of where she had previously been lying. The door clicked shut as a pair of feet shuffled over the floorboards, the bed dipped, and a warm figure settled down under the covers next to her.
"Do you want to talk about it?" His voice was quiet but comforting, just like it had been all the times she had crawled into his bed whenever she would have a nightmare when they were younger.
As her eyes were fixed on her twiddling fingers, the curious gaze of her brother burned into her forehead. She had to be stupid if she thought that he wouldn't notice. Throughout the dinner, the joy of seeing them again had been immense, but Sirius knew her. He knew that something was bothering her, just as Andromeda had, and the thoughts of a certain man's smile disappeared as her mind was again filled with dark thoughts.
"I don't know," Cassie whispered. She shouldn't tell him. He would be safer if he didn't know. They all would. But the remnants of the dream last night lingered in her mind. The feeling of being absolutely paralyzed, the horrifying laughter that sent a chill straight to her spine, the way he looked at her, an overwhelming tightness in her chest grew at an almost terrifying pace, and tears started gathering in her eyes. She had to tell him something, anything.
"I... I saw.. something, something that I wasn't supposed to see." Her small voice wavered as she spoke."I can't stop thinking about it, and I don't know what to do."
Sirius placed his hand on hers, causing the younger twin to raise her eyes to her brothers. The pain in his eyes as he looked at her caused her heart to squeeze tight.
"Do–do you want to tell me more?" He asked carefully, as if afraid to say the wrong thing. Just as she was about to shake her head, another dark-haired face appeared into her mind. A face she loved too much and a face that made her, against everything she wanted, tell everything. She took a deep breath to calm herself and moved her fingers to dry the tears that had fallen.
"You were right," She started, "About what you said on the train from Hogwarts about the Death Eaters. At the ball, I stumbled into the wrong room at the worst possible time– and I saw them. They were there."
His eyes widened like the size of shields while his face went pale. The grip on her hands tightened slightly as his entire body tensed. "What happened?" His voice was strained with too many emotions for Cassie to unravel.
"I fooled them to think I was completely drunk and that I was looking for the bathroom. It must have worked, because.. because no one said anything for the rest of the night," She paused, taking a deep breath. "Or the next morning."
"What do you mean?" He asked, though as if it suddenly dawned on him, realization filled his face. "Bellatrix is one, isn't she?"
Cassie nodded softly. "Rodolphus and Lucius were there too. I don't remember all of them."
"Did you see it? The mark."
"Only on Dolohov."
Sirius ran his other hand through his untidy hair as he sighed deeply. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?"
"I couldn't exactly put this in a letter, now could I?" She replied with an edge, "If I had, and they found out, we would both be in trouble. I thought I could do this on my own. I thought I was fine... until last night, I had a dream, a dream that felt so real that I can't get it out of my mind."
"Was it one of those dreams you used to have?" He asked almost hesitantly, "The ones where you can't tell what is real and what's not?"
She nodded. "I had to tell myself several times throughout the day that it wasn't real, I tried to shake it from my mind, but it never went away completely."
As he looked at her, she couldn't help but feel like a child again, like a small child that wanted nothing more than just to be held tight in a warm embrace, hearing the words it's going to be alright, over and over again. Then as his eyes glazed over and darkened, she suddenly wished for the feeling to disappear.
"Does he know?" His voice was low, dangerously low. "Does Rabastan know?"
She opened her mouth, and for a moment, nothing came out. She had wondered briefly if he knew, especially after that dream, which was partly the reason why she hadn't told him yet. "I don't know. I haven't told him about the dream, not yet, at least. But I don't know if he knows about them. Truthfully, it wouldn't take me completely by surprise if he knew, or at least knows to some degree."
"Cassie, what if he–"
She cut him off. "He's not. He doesn't have a mark, and it's him. Do you honestly think Rabastan would be capable of being a death eater?"
He looked down, not answering as he pinned his gaze to their hands, not wanting to look at her. Cassie knew without even having Sirius say anything. She knew what he was thinking. The Rabastan they knew wasn't capable of that, but who knows what might happen.
"I think," He started, finally meeting Cassie's eyes. "I think that someday he might be capable of being a death eater, but honestly, I don't think he would ever want to. Especially not when you're here."
She didn't bother hiding the surprise that stretched across her features. "What are you talking about?"
He looked at her for a moment, an unreadable expression etched into his features while his eyes gleamed with something Cassie couldn't recognize. "Why am I not surprised.." he mumbled so lowly she almost didn't catch it.
"It doesn't matter. But I think you should talk to him about it. Maybe not now, but at least before you two get married."
"I know." She said quietly. "I'm just scared."
Suddenly the bed shifted, and before Cassie knew it, Sirius had let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.
"If you have more of those dreams, you can talk to me about it. I'll always be here for you." His voice was so comforting that she couldn't do anything but close her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his hand gently stroking her hair.
Her whisper was filled with gratitude as she listened to the steady sound of his heartbeat. "Thank you, Sirius. What would I ever do without you?"
"Suffer endlessly no doubt." The older twin joked, drawing a soft laugh from his sister.
"You're ridiculous."
A smug grin spread across his face as he looked down at Cassie. "No, I'm Sirius." He replied in the same joking tone earning a slap to his shoulder. "Come on. I had to make up for the missed opportunity at dinner."
"Merlin..." Cassie signed before chuckling softly at her older brother. "I suppose Rabastan was right. What on earth have I gotten myself into...."
Though she didn't know it yet, that exact sentence would be running through her mind over the next year, more times than she could count.