redamancy

She paces back and forth in the attending's lounge, twisting her engagement ring, and muttering things under her breath. Callie watches on from the doorway.

"She okay?" Alex says coming to a stop next to Callie.

"She's been like this for the past 20 minutes." She says, her arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"Should I get Charlie?" Alex whispers, eyes still on Addison

"I've already paged her." Callie smiles with a small nod.

"Hey, Callie!" Charlie calls from the corridor. "You paged?" Callie nods her head and moves so Charlie can peak around Alex and see inside the attending's lounge. "Erm...is she okay?" Callie shrugs her shoulders and Charlie furrows her brows.

"Addie?" Charlie says in a small voice, approaching her.

Addison suddenly stops and looks up. "Hi."

"What's happened? Are you okay?"

"Actually it's kind of good that you're here...because I need to talk to you."

Charlie smiles and sits down on a couch.

"It's about the wedding." Addison takes a breath and stands in front of Charlie. Alex and Callie take that as their cue to get out of there. Charlie stares at Addison, waiting for an answer. "I...I'm not sure."

"Not sure about what?" Charlie asks with a look of confusion on her face.

"About this. About any of this." She snaps and starts pacing again.

"Okay. Well, calm down, let's talk about it."

Addison stops pacing and sits next to Charlie, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers. "I've been thinking, and I'm not entirely sure that I want to get married," Charlie pulls her hand away. "I screwed up my marriage to Derek, and I don't want to screw this up. Maybe we should just take some time. We did kind of rush into this?"

"You think we rushed into this?" Addison nods her head slowly. "You don't want to get married?" Charlie asks, standing up from her seat and facing Addison.

"I...- " She hesitates.

"You don't?!"

"I don't know Charlie!" Addison snaps. She stands up and faces the brunette. Charlie takes a breath and collects herself.

"I'm...I'm gonna stay at Alex's tonight, I will see you tomorrow."

"Charlie – "

"No. I just..you need to figure out what you want if you still want...if you still want me, and then we'll talk." She walks right out of the attending's lounge.

"Charlie!" Addison calls after her.

Alex finds her eventually. She sits in a cupboard, knees pulled up to her chest. He quietly enters and sinks beside her, "You have patients you know." He says nudging her shoulder. She raises her head and looks at him. "They can wait, but first you need to talk to me. What happened with Addison."

Charlie takes in a breath and rests her head back against the shelves she was leaning on. "She's having second thoughts. She thinks we rushed into this whole thing and now she's not sure that she wants to get married anymore."

"Right." Alex laughs. "Well, maybe she has a point?"

Charlie looks at him, her face angry. "Who's side are you on here?"

"I just think that maybe she's right? You did kinda rush into this. How long have you truly been together?" Charlie hangs her hand and does the math in her brain.

"Well, dating...only about 8 months, I guess. But...I've been in love with her since I first met her. I mean don't remember much from that night, but Jesus, Alex. I remember her, smiling at me and then everything just made sense." She closes her eyes and smiles, thinking back to that night at Joe's when they had first met. Maybe they had rushed into it. Maybe this was a mistake. "Maybe she's right." Charlie sighs. "I did sort of back her into this when I bought the ring."

"Hey, you did not back her into this, She chose to say yes, Charlie. She wanted to get married then and maybe she still does, you just have to talk to her." Alex tells her, a stern look on his face. Charlie nods her head and wipes her eyes. Alex stands up and holds out his hand, she takes it and he pulls her up. She nods her head and opens the door.

"I will talk to her, but tomorrow. Tonight, though. Sleepover at yours!" She grins then runs out.

"Dude!" Alex shouts, chasing her out.

*

Addison spends the evening alone at the apartment. Pablo curled up in a ball on her lap. She runs her fingers through his fur and scratches at his ear. She contemplates the day in her head; there were better ways of telling Charlie, much better ways. A knock on the front door pulls her out of her thoughts. She hopes it's Charlie. Behind the door is a Beck, but not the Beck family member she really wanted.

"Lisa?"

"Hi!" She walks into the apartment, pulling a suitcase behind her. Addison stands at the doorway, still confused as to why her future mother-in-law was standing in front of her, especially since the wedding wasn't for another three months.

"Everything okay? You know that the wedding isn't until May right?"

"Oh honey, of course, I know. I wanted to surprise Charlotte. Is she here?" She says, dropping her bags and peeking her head into the bedroom, looking around for her only daughter.

"She's not here. She had a late shift at the hospital and then she's staying at Alex's tonight." Addison says, picking up the cat that starts to purr and weave around her legs. "But you are more than welcome to stay here tonight. I can sleep on the sofa and you can have our bed." She says to her, bundling the orange cat up in her arms, she gives her a small smile and Lisa just gives her a look.

"I know that look. What's happened?" She crosses her arms and tilts her head, she settles on the sofa and pats the space next to her, signalling her to sit down next to her. Pablo wriggles out her arms and she settles down next to Lisa. "Talk to me."

"I used to be married, and then I screwed it up by sleeping with his best friend. I was unhappy, but then I came here and met Charlie. I made some stupid decisions at first but we moved past them. We were happy and then she had to go and get herself shot because she was getting coffee for me. She nearly died because of me. I'm just scared that I'm going to screw this up, just like I screw everything else up in my life." She explains. "Today...I told her I wasn't sure that I wanted to get married anymore. That's why she's not here, she's spending the night at Alex's."

"This calls for wine," Lisa says standing from the couch and heading into the kitchen. She searches the fridge and finds a bottle of white wine. Addison tells her where the wine glasses are (she bought them when she moved in because she refused to drink out a mug, as Charlie did).

"I did the same thing," Lisa says to her, pouring two glasses of wine and settling back on the couch. "Anderson, Charlie's dad, proposed to me just before I graduated college. The week before the wedding I freaked out and couldn't do it. I got my brother Dad to talk to him, to say that it was over, but Andy didn't leave. He said; ' I love you, so I ain't going nowhere.' He didn't and we got married a week later. He gave me my beautiful boys and Charlie. I wouldn't have changed a thing." Lisa smiles at her, and Addison nods her head. 

She closes her eyes and takes a breath. "There's something else as well. I told Charlie this, but this is another reason I guess." Lisa waits for her to explain. "I can't have kids." Lis reaches out for Addison's hand, squeezing it tightly. "Charlie deserves someone who can give her a family and I can't, I can't do that and I feel like I'm taking that away from her," Addison confesses. 

Lisa smiles and takes a sip from her glass before setting down. She turns herself and takes the glass from Addison, setting it on the table. She then takes her hands and looks into her eyes. "Listen to me. Charlie loves you, she loves you so much. You'll be fine, You'll work it out. Whether you adopt, foster, use a surrogate or don't have kids at all, Charlie will still love you. Don't let this change anything, ever. She's a stubborn pain in the ass but she has so much love to give. You should see her with Benji, he adores her, and if right now he's the only kid in her life, I think she'll be okay." Addison nods and Lisa wipes away the tears from her face. "Now come here and give me a hug." Lisa smiles and wraps her arms around Addison.

Lisa comes to Seattle Grace with her the next day, she wants to surprise her babies and head to Downtown Seattle to start looking at dresses for Charlie.

"Mom?" is called across the lobby. Addison looks up from her phone and Charlie is with her interns by the elevators.

"Hi, baby!" She calls and rushes over her arms wide. She pulls Charlie into a bone-crushing hug.

"What are you doing here, mom?" She smiles with a hint of disbelief.

"I came to help you with your dress hunt!" Her mom squeals and Charlie widens her eyes and gives a fake smile. "Hi, sweetheart." She says placing a kiss on Alex's cheek. Alex grins widely shoves Charlie's shoulder.

"Be nice to Mom."

"Are these your friends?" Lisa asks Alex and introduces them to Charlie's mom, leaving Addison and her to have a moment alone.

"Hi." Addison breathes out.

"Hey," Charlie replies with a small smile.

"Your Mom arrived last night, I would have called but she wanted it to be a surprise."

"It's definitely a surprise." Charlie laughs and turns back to her mom who is hugging Cristina too tight for comfort.

"I made my decision." Charlie looks at her with a blank look on her face. "About the wedding, I've made my decision." Charlie's mouth forms an 'o' and she smiles. "I love you and I thought that we had rushed into this and we were being silly. I thought that you deserved someone who could give you a family, but then your mom made me realise; I had already given you a family, me and Pablo. The three of us, we're a family together and I love you. So please...let's get married." She smiles at Charlie and the brunette wraps her arms around Addison's neck and pulls her down for a kiss.