Chapter 1
Ava has had a bit of a reputation at St. Michael's Orphanage since she arrived there.
She's known there as a troublemaker, an incorrigible soul, and most of the nuns hate her, especially Sister Frances.
But the kids at the orphanage love her, especially Diego. He's like the little brother she never had. She reads him bad stories every night, plays soccer with him, and helps him with his homework.
But Ava knew one thing: she couldn't give the sisters a reason to send her away, because if she made even the slightest mistake, they'd get rid of her and Diego would be left there all alone.
She couldn't leave him alone with them, so every time she was there she didn't act like herself. She followed the nuns' requests and was obedient and polite.
But Ava's charming, energetic, and lovable personality shone through every time she was at her high school, so half the boys and girls had a crush on her. It certainly didn't help that Ella Lopez, Ava's crush, showed clear signs of interest in her. So, it was obvious that when Ella asked Ava to do a science project with her, Ava accepted and offered to do the project in the orphanage library, since no one ever goes there and they could "study in peace".
When Ella came to the orphanage library to work on the science project, she and Ava goofed off, Ella was too distracting and Ava made Ella laugh so hard that the librarian kicked them out. So that's why Ava offered that they could take a break in the room to watch a movie or something.
When they entered Ava and Diego's room and saw that no one was there, Ella made the first move and kissed Ava. She pulled back and asked uncertainly, "Is this okay?” Ava smiled and nodded, "more than okay," she replied confidently and leaned in to kiss her again.
The door opened and a familiar voice called out, "Ava, I told you, you can't have visitors in your room!".
Ava immediately pulled back from the kiss when she realized whose voice it was. Sister Frances stood frozen, shocked. For a second, Ava thought she was having a heart attack, and secretly hoped she was.
But first, Ava had to get Ella out of there, because the blonde girl didn't know what to do with herself.
"Ella, I'm really sorry, but you really need to go, I'll text you later, okay?" Ava whispered in her ear in a shaky voice. Ella could only nod slowly with a worried expression because she wasn't used to seeing the cool, easygoing Ava scared and frozen.
When Ella left the room, Ava was a little relieved because now she didn't have to worry about Sister Frances humiliating her in front of her. Now Ava stared at Sister Frances, who was still processing what she had just seen. Now Ava had to wonder what she'd do to her. She didn't care if she would physically or verbally abuse her, she was used to that. She was afraid she'd send her away.
"I was right all along... You're the devil," Sister Frances said slowly, still appalled.
"Please don't send me away, I'll do anything," Ava said, horrified.
How could she fuck up like this? She risks leaving Diego all alone with these monsters who don't give a shit about him.
Even though Ava is about to turn eighteen and grow out of the system, she was terrified of being sent to a place even worse than this. She knew that when she grew out of the system, she'd stay in touch with Diego and visit him every day so he wouldn't be alone. One day she'd even adopt him when she grew up and had a job and a place to live.
But for now, all she could do was beg, and plead with the sister who hated her the most and had wanted to get rid of her since her first day at the orphanage.
"It all makes sense now," Frances muttered, "you're sick, you need help, and you have the devil in you... You can't stay here."
"Where are you going to send me?" Ava asked hesitantly.
"To a place where people like you'll be helped... then you come back here, fixed," Frances said with an unreadable look.
Ava knew what that meant: CONVERSION CAMP.
And all of a sudden, being sent away to another orphanage doesn't sound so bad anymore.
She's heard about all the horrible things they do to queers in conversion camps, and she knew she only had two options: suffer there and get back to the orphanage before she ages out, or run away from there and try to survive on her own.
Both of those options sound terrible, but for now, she just has to suffer and see if she can find a way to survive what comes her way until she finds a better option.
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A few weeks later, she was standing outside the orphanage gate with a small suitcase and two nuns, waiting for the camp's minibus.
When the minibus arrived, a man got out and introduced himself while Ava put her suitcase in the trunk of the minibus.
"Hi Ava, I was called here because the sisters at this orphanage reported to me that you were exhibiting homosexual behavior," the man said with a strangely calm smile, "You know... my name is Vincent and I myself was once a gay.... now I'm an ex-gay, Ava!".
Ava began to think that trying to survive on her own wasn't so bad anymore.
"I work as a priest for a place called True Directions, which helps people like you understand the reasons for homosexual tendencies and heal them," Vincent continued.
At this point, Ava understood that she had nowhere to go, smiled at him, and got on the bus.
The minibus was full of girls her age. Some of them seemed unhappy, which really made sense considering the circumstances, but some of them also looked hopeful, which was also sad considering the circumstances.
When the minibus finally stopped, Ava looked out the window and saw the place where she'd spend the next who knows how many days.
The camp was in the middle of a forest. There was a pink main building with two pink sleeping cabins on either side of it and a church nearby.
Out of the main building came a woman with a clearly fake smile, and what appeared to be a much younger replica of her followed her towards the minibus.
This girl took Ava's breath away for a moment, she was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.
Ava studied her as if she were some kind of artwork.
She focused on her movements, her facial expressions, and every freckle on her face.
She didn't even know how she could see her freckles from the window of the bus. Probably a queer superpower.
She was fascinated, she wanted to look at her forever, to study her forever.
She noticed that her outfit didn't have a single wrinkle, that she held her hands behind her back like some kind of soldier, and that a layer of apparent apathy hid the sorrow on her face.
"Come on kids, get off the minibus!" said Vincent, interrupting Ava's thoughts.
how am I supposed to be straight when this girl is here?