Seventh Year, The New Year
Monday January 9th 1978
`S’pose I’ll see ye after yer NEWTs then, eh? Beginning of summer.`
`Hm-mm,` Marlene agreed distractedly, staring at the barrier between platforms nine and ten.
`Nervous for your exams?`
`Mm, definitely,` Marlene craned her neck even more. If only Yasmin would show her face!
`Alright - grand,` Danny settled curtly. He patted Marlene on her shoulder and made a move to walk away. `Leave ye to it then.`
Torn out of thought, Marlene flinched and shook her head. `Och! Sorry – yeah. I’m being a right arse.` She turned guiltily towards her brother. `Cheers for apparating along.`
`No bother,` Danny lifted a corner of his mouth, softening.
`Well, good luck on tour and make sure to write as often as you can. No excuses - I know you have downtime,` Marlene pressed urgently. `And write to Mammy as well – she worries.`
`Will do - will do,` Danny nodded, smiling down at her. `Also desperate to hear what ye’ll get up to,` he said meaningfully. `And better win that bloody quidditch cup. Can`t have our good family reputation go to waste.`
`Och, piss off,` Marlene grinned and gave her brother a shove.
`Note taken.`
Danny squeezed her shoulder again and kissed the top of her head. Swiftly, he bounded across the flagstones, all long limbs and fair hair. A group of students waiting to pass through the barrier stared after him. Marlene rolled her eyes and made a beeline for the brick wall, gradually gathering speed. Always the golden boy her brother.
For the final time, the Hogwarts Express emerged out of the thick fog. Summer would bring them a clearer view; autumn would bring them different horizons. Best not to think about that; it was still winter, after all.
Marlene instantly spotted Mary at one of the train doors. It was hard to miss her. Signature blue boots against dull concrete; technicolour amidst a sea of grey. She was talking to a Ravenclaw prefect, laughing and putting a hand to his chest. Marlene noted the absence of the usual stabbing sensation in her chest. That was new.
A gentle brush against her arm made her jolt around. Her stomach made a summersault. At last, the object of her feverish longings had been found!
`Assuming that giant of a lad was your brother?` Yasmin’s grinning face was framed by a dark halo of unruly waves, freed from their usual plait. Her scarf hung easily around her neck, swinging in the breeze.
`Spying on me, were you?` Marlene raised her eyebrows, head surging with excitement.
Yasmin shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. `Hard not to.`
`Hm.` Marlene stuck her tongue inside her cheek, biting down to restrict herself from grinning too broadly.
For a second or two, they just looked at each other, swaying back and forth on the balls of their feet. The idle air between them yearned to be bridged.
`Wanna get on the train?` Yasmin finally asked, already hoisting her tattered backpack over her shoulder.
`Aye alright - let’s find the others,` Marlene said. `Lil’s probably already on the train with Potter to lead the prefects’ meeting. And I think I saw Mary over there-` She raised an arm to wave at Mary but Yasmin pulled it down.
`Actually, I was thinking,` she said, slowly drawing out her words. `If we’re lucky, we can get a carriage all to ourselves…`
`…right,` Marlene nodded with widened eyes, catching onto Yasmin’s intentions. There was a tug behind her navel and she hesitated. It didn’t sit completely right with her that they should ditch Mary. However, she supposed that she owed it to Yasmin. This once. `Let’s go,` she said.
In a hurry, they found the nearest entrance and clambered onto the train. Yasmin grabbed Marlene’s hand and towed her through the corridor. `Quick, come on. Before someone sees us,` she whispered, ducking as they ran past a row of occupied compartments. `Don’t want to risk my chances running into Eriksson - think he fancies me.` Eriksson was their new chaser – quite an abysmal one at that.
Marlene started giggling, feeling absurd. Never in her life had she crept and snuck around as much as she had since meeting Yasmin. At times, it felt like a very elaborate game of hide-and-seek.
`That one’s empty – I think,` Marlene said, pointing at a door at the end of the train corridor. `Get it open.`
`Patience McKinnon,` Yasmin remarked cheekily, jostling at the lock.
Almost wrenching the door from its hinges, Marlene tumbled over the threshold, pushing and pulling at Yasmin. However, her peal of laughter was halted midbreath as her eyes landed on Remus and Sirius. The two boys had been sitting very close together and quickly leapt apart.
`Oh!` Marlene gasped, feeling her cheeks flush. Merlin, this was embarrassing! `Thought this car was empty…`
`Nope,` Sirius licked his lips and leaned back against the leather bench, seemingly not the smallest bit embarrassed. If anything: he looked amused! He knew. Of course, he knew. Marlene had known that their little heart-to-heart at the try-outs would come back to haunt her.
Dawdling in the doorway, Marlene wanted to bolt; to run as fast and far away as possible. Though, that was hardly an option. It was Yasmin who took the lead, stepping into the carriage and giving their audience a bashful wave.
`Patel.` Sirius nodded sagely.
Remus directed his stare from one to the other, a huge furrow knitting between his brows, the confusion dripping off his features. There was probably some explaining to be done. It was only fair.
`Remus, have you met Yasmin?` Marlene asked, sitting down opposite him. `She’s the new keeper.`
`Oh, right, hiya,` Remus nodded stoically.
`No Mary?` Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows meaningfully.
`No Mary,` Yasmin replied, sounding rather satisfied.
`She’s talking to one of the Ravenclaw prefects,` Marlene interrupted before Sirius could form any assumptions of his own. `It’s not as if we’re deliberately avoiding her or anything!` Her cheeks felt as hot as coals, a familiar feeling of shame and guilt gnawing at her intestines.
`Hm,` Sirius hummed, not looking convinced. `And what were you two up to, then?` He was obviously trying everything in his might to get them to crack.
Picking at her nails and avoiding Sirius’ stare, Marlene squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. Sirius had a certain knack for wriggling at little pieces of information until he got what he wanted. Marlene felt determined not to let him get his way.
Luckily, it was Yasmin who answered. `Nothing,` she said firmly, folding her arms across her chest and giving Sirius a sardonic little smile. `What were you two up to?` Obviously, she too had noticed something between the two boys.
`Nothing!` Sirius replied, jerking upright and looking affronted.
`Well then,` Marlene said quickly before the whole encounter could become even more uncomfortable. `We’ll leave it at that then.` Smugly, she settled against her seat.
Clenching his jaw, Sirius nodded in demure agreement, evidently not pleased with his defeat. Yasmin, on the contrary, looked chuffed and gave Marlene a sly smirk before propping her feet up on the opposite bench.
The only one still looking incredibly confused was Remus. The frown between his eyebrows had not softened and he was still glaring at Sirius. Nevertheless, Marlene didn’t let herself worry about him. She felt certain that Sirius would enlighten him once they were at Hogwarts. No need to call the beast by its name right then and there.
Nobody made any inclination to leave the compartment. Therefore, it was silently settled that they’d stay together for the entire journey.
***
None of them said anything as they waited for the gargoyle to move; Lily stared intently at its stone face, imagining it staring back at her. Thoughtfully, she ran her tongue over her teeth, still tasting the remains of the feast.
`D’you reckon it’s about that attack you lot witnessed in Diagon Alley?` Peter wedged himself between the silence, noisily wringing his hands.
James shrugged. `Don’t see why Dumbledore would only want to see Moony if that was the case. Could have asked either one of us.`
Sirius nodded in agreement; he was impatiently pacing up and down the length of the corridor, continuously raking his hands through his hair. `Fucking never know with that man do you?`
`Who? Dumbledore or Moony?` James asked.
`Both.`
Lily pulled her cardigan closer around her body and drew her shoulders up to her ears. `Let’s not make any speculations before Remus gets back,` she said, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. They had been waiting outside of Dumbledore’s office for the majority of an hour and the cold was starting to get to her.
Finally, the gargoyle moved, revealing a rather haggard-looking Remus. He descended slowly, clutching his hip as he hobbled down the last couple of steps.
`Well?!` Sirius instantly sprang on Remus.
`Um,` Remus replied, rubbing his brown, eyes flashing from one to the other.
`Come on,` Lily quickly interjected, placing a hand on Remus’ shoulder. `You don’t have to tell us, we just wanted to know if you’re ok.` If Dumbledore had wanted to talk to him alone, it probably had been something personal. They should respect his privacy.
`Of course he has to tell us,` Sirius exclaimed.
Lily glared at him. He could be so pushy at times!
`Can we go somewhere a bit more private?` Remus said pointedly. `Not the common room…`
`Dorm room?` Peter opted.
`Yeah,` Remus agreed.
In complete silence, their group made their way through the castle, hurrying to get to Gryffindor tower. The rest of their house had already congregated in the common room. Yasmin and Marlene were seated in front of one of the fireplaces, playing a game of snap. Funnily enough, Mary wasn’t with them. As discreetly as possible, trying not to get noticed, Lily followed the boys up to their dorm. She had been inside their room quite a lot recently, though only with James. This felt a little bit odd: like breaking an entry.
`So?!` Sirius pressed again once they’d all found a spot. `What did Dumbledore want?`
Remus had sat down on his trunk and was staring fixedly at the rug. `He gave me an assignment.`
Before any of them had the time to react, James blurted: `He what?! He gave you…not any of us?`
Remus looked uncomfortable, picking at a piece of lint on his sleeve.
`James,` Lily lightly placed a hand on James’ forearm in an attempt to calm him down. `It’s obviously something Remus is best suited for.`
`Werewolves,` Sirius said matter-of-factly. He was staring at Remus with a dark expression, brow deeply creased.
`Yeah,` Remus said slowly, returning Sirius’ look. `Have done it before, haven’t I?`
Lily felt as though she had swallowed a brick. `You’ve done…` she began but swiftly bit her tongue. Not the time, nor the place. `What does he want from you? Why now?`
Remus shifted on his seat and began explaining, halting at almost every word. `They think there’s one in Hogsmeade. The centaurs told him, or something,` he audibly swallowed. `Dumbledore wants me to um…make my presence known, next time I’m in town. See if it…er…takes bait.` The last word was said very softly.
`Bait?!` Sirius exploded, jolting away from his resting place against the bedpost. Instinctively, Lily exchanged a look with James, hearing a chorus of alarm bells going off inside of her head.
`…It’s just an expression,` Remus replied in a pinched voice.
`Not a great one,` Peter mumbled.
`Sorry,` Remus said. `Don’t worry about me. If there is a werewolf, and it’s one of Greyback’s, then I don’t think I’m in any danger. He wants me to join him, remember?`
Lily worried the inside of her cheek, tasting blood. That wasn’t exactly reassuring.
`Yeah, I remember getting my own invitation to join that side,` Sirius remarked coolly. Lily couldn’t help but feel a chill run up her spine.
`It’s not going to be like that,` Remus replied. `Nothing might happen at all, they might not even be here for me. And I was ok, last time, wasn’t I?`
`Only because Ferox showed up!` Sirius practically shouted, rounding on Remus. Lily could not remember ever having him seen this worried and tense.
`I know, but I am of age, now… I’ll know what to expect.`
`It’s so dangerous, Remus!` Lily exclaimed, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she could swallow them.
`I know that too, but I wasn’t exactly given a choice!` Remus bit angrily.
Caught off guard, Lily sucked her teeth and looked down at her hands, feeling like she could burst into tears. James gave her a reassuring nod, wordlessly saying: it’s nothing personal.
Sirius let out a long sigh. `When?` he asked, his voice more levelled.
`Next Hogsmeade weekend.`
`That’s in two weeks,` James rubbed his forehead. `After the next moon…`
`They are going to increase security in the village, obviously,` Remus said. `After last time.`
`Ok, I`m going to need a few things explained here…` Lily frowned. It was excruciatingly annoying being the only one who didn’t know what was being discussed.
Fortunately, James was more than eager to enlighten her. After bidding the others goodnight, he drew the curtains around his bed and sealed them shut. Lily tactfully drew a silencing spell over the cavernous space and settled against the headboard. Then, in fits and starts, James began explaining.
`Last January…erm…when we were in Hogsmeade, Moony picked up the scent of another um…werewolf,` James recounted. `At the time, he didn’t mention it. He just kept it to himself – y`know how Moony gets…`
Lily nodded: yes, that did sound like Remus.
`But then – also without telling us – he waited until we were asleep to sneak back to the village to erm…find it. The werewolf I mean.`
`How did he even manage to get out of the castle?` Lily interrupted. `Surely he would have been caught?`
`He-` James began but stopped himself. `That’s not relevant right now – and too long to explain anyway.`
Lily sighed but did not protest. Lovely: more secrets!
`Um…yeah, so Moony was able to get to Hogsmeade and go into the pub where that werewolf um… Livia had been waiting for him…`
Livia had been a follower of Greyback, who – as Lily learned – was the werewolf who’d also bitten Remus. She had tried to convince Remus to join their pack; to join Greyback. If it hadn’t been for Professor Ferox, who’d miraculously appeared at the right time, things could have ended rather gruesome.
`That’s as much as Moony told us anyway,` James concluded. `Don’t know how much he left out obviously.`
`Gosh,` Lily said breathlessly, not quite knowing whether to be impressed or angry. `Can’t believe he did that…`
`And now he practically has to do it all over again,` James sighed, tiredly touching his jaw.
Lily swallowed, rinsing the bitter taste of panic from her mouth. `Yes - but this time he isn’t alone,` she replied, sounding more resolute than she felt.
*
Obviously, Remus’ chances of success would be the highest if he knew how to properly defend himself. Therefore, when morning rolled around, it had been unanimously decided that they should prepare Remus for his assignment. Lily’s chest clenched at the thought of something going awry – which it very well could. However, it was no use worrying; it passed the time but didn’t get them anywhere.
Each day of the following week, their group assembled after class, setting up camp in a secluded corner of the library. Curtesy to Peter’s brilliantly threatening sign reading Marauder’s War Council: Do Not Disturb, nobody dared to come near them. And – luckily - neither Mary nor Marlene seemingly had any suspicions: Lily’s evenings had always been spent in the library – war or no war.
Shocking to all of them, James abandoned quidditch practice, handing the baton to Marlene for the time being. Lily herself stopped attending Slug Club meetings, making use of every extra hour she could muster.
However, Lily did have a rather unfortunate confrontation with Professor Slughorn when she vainly attempted to nick a bottle of Felix Felicis out of his office. That’s what he got for giving her a key to his office and telling her to make use of his personal stash of ingredients! Foolish old man. By a mere hair, she was able to talk herself out of it. A bonus of being a goody-goody: nobody ever expected her to be involved in nefarious activities.
Nevertheless, it had been a reckless attempt. Afterwards, Lily could not quite comprehend what had gotten into her. The consequences could have been catastrophic. Her protectiveness of Remus had driven her to desperate measures, which seemed to be the case for all of them.
***
Friday January 13th 1978
Wriggling the handle, Mary opened the window and sat on the ledge. A cold gush of air brushed past her bare legs, creating goosebumps. She reached down and scratched at a scab on her calf where she’d cut herself shaving. The bleak light of the moon bounced off her skin, giving it a blue hue; at the sight of the waxing disk, she could not help but think about Remus.
Rather aggressively, Cat leapt onto her lap, needing her thigh with its paws, nails jabbing into her tender skin. Annoyed, Mary shoved the cat off her lap.
`Get off, will you?` she mumbled, instantly feeling remorse as Cat gave an indignant squeak.
Shrugging apologetically, Mary grappled inside her pocket. She had a secret stash of cigarettes which she acquired from her admires - sometimes gifted, sometimes not. Placing one between her lips, Mary lit it without her wand – a neat trick Sirius had taught her. Usually, she didn’t smoke, though on some occasions, the burning pit inside her needed an outlet. Mary inhaled and blew the smoke out of the window. Marlene and Lily would kill her if they knew she was smoking in their dorm room - or even smoking in general. Yet – they weren’t here, now were they? Mary took another drag just to prove it to herself.
It was the third time that week that she’d had the dorm to herself in the evening. Lily was in the library - as per usual. And Marlene was off doing God knows what. Well – probably Yasmin, but shewasn’tsupposed to know that, now was she?
Having the dorm to herself was all fun and games, though it did get old pretty soon. After dinner, Mary had tried to persuade the Hufflepuff she’d started seeing in the past week to let her go to his dorm. However, he’d needed to preserve his stamina: one of the disadvantages of having a dalliance with a quidditch player.
Holding it at arm’s length, Mary examined the red smear of lipstick on the cigarette. She would much have preferred to have something a little bit more fun. However, getting stoned on her own was a level of sunken that Mary did not aspire to reach. As a matter of fact, she could not remember the last time that she’d gotten stoned. The bi-monthly meetings in the greenhouses had long ceased to exist. All the older attendees had left school, and due to the social circumstances of the war, none of the younger students seemed inclined to join. Mary didn’t blame them. So - the meetings had slowly whittled down until they had stopped altogether.
Cat attempted to jump on Mary’s lap again. This time, she let it. `Oh, go on then,` she sighed. `I could use the company.`
`And what am I going to do with you then?` Mary asked, stroking Cat’s velvety fur.
The cat didn’t reply; it just pushed its head into her belly, using it as a soundboard for its purring.
`Don’t suppose I can keep you at the flat, hmm?` Mary bit down on her bottom lip. The housing situation of her cat, once school was over, kept her up at night. `S’pose both Lily and Marlene would be happy to have you stay with them - as long as you don’t eat their owls.`
Staring into the distance, over the lake, Mary continued smoking her cigarette until the ash crumbled between her fingers. Wriggling out from underneath Cat, Mary rose and went into the bathroom. The bud looked like someone’s discarded fish in the toilet bowl, bobbing up and down in the water, quickly pulled out of sight. Better not leave any evidence lying around. Realistically, Mary knew she was allowed to make her own choices: she was her own person! Though, she’d rather not be judged for it by her friends. Coming down to it, Lily and Marlene could be rather judgmental.
Mary looked at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands, turning her head from side to side. With every passing year, she could see more and more of her mother in her features - something that both delighted and scared her.
Exiting the bathroom, Mary stood torn on the threshold. She had two options: go to bed early and be well rested tomorrow or hang around and wait for someone to turn up and keep her company. The first one didn’t even cross her mind as being an option, and the other one was rather improbable.
Just when she’d decided to put on a record, she caught a movement in the corner of her eye. Startled, she reached for her wand on her bedside table and pointed it in the direction of the movement.
`Who’s there?` she asked forcefully, though her hand was trembling.
`Oh! Joodey is terribly sorry, Miss,` a small voice replied. `Joodey thought nobody was here.`
Mary instantly lowered her wand as a tiny house-elf with drooping ears and humongous eyes appeared from behind her bedpost. The androgynous creature was carrying a basket full of laundry, gripping the handles with sticklike fingers. It appeared that they had been changing their sheets.
`Joodey is not supposed to make themselves be seen.`
`No - that’s alright,` Mary replied, still shaky. Even though she was aware of the house-elves living inside the castle, she rarely thought about them. Aside from inside the Hogwarts kitchens and at the Potters, Mary had never talked to a house elf. She’d certainly never been alone with one of them.
The elf appeared to ignore her remark and stared at their bare feet. `Do not be heard. Do not be seen. Do not be noticed. That’s what they tell us. Joodey is ashamed to have disturbed the Missus’ peace.`
Mary scratched at her arm: the cringing servitude of the elf made her want to crawl out of her skin. It felt so incredibly wrong. Cat had edged up behind her but did not seem disturbed by the visitor.
`Joodey really is sorry.` The elf’s large green eyes were glistening and wet.
`Please, don’t apologize,` Mary said, rubbing at her arm again. `It is fine, really.`
`Sorry – oh!` the elf shook its tiny frame and dropped the linens to the floor. For a moment, it appeared that they would really start to cry. Yet, they seemed to pull themselves together and grappled on the floor, trying to shove the bedsheets into the basket.
`Let me help you,` Mary crouched down on the floor.
`No!` the elf almost shrieked, throwing their body protectively over the basket.
Too baffled to have a come-back, Mary faltered backwards. This was not what she’d envisioned herself doing on a Friday night. Maybe it had been a fun cigarette, after all.
When the elf had everything back inside their basket, they stood to their full height and finally looked at her. `Joodey would like it if Miss didn’t say anything about this to the headmaster.`
Mary blinked. `Dumbledore? What does he have to do with this?`
The elf did not reply but looked at her so pleadingly that Mary could do nothing but nod. As soon as she’d done so, the elf’s shoulders sagged in relief. They placed the basket on their hip and, with a snap of their fingers, disappeared into thin air.
Mary was left staring at where the elf had stood just seconds ago. The room looked as empty and quiet as it had before their visit. The thought of their dorm being frequented by house-elves without them knowing it made her slightly sick. Joodey really had not been joking when they said: Do not be heard. Do not be seen. Do not be noticed.
The entire school was being carried by invisible hands.
///