Sixth Year, Valentines
Friday February 5th 1977
Hurriedly Lily trudged up the stairs towards the east wing of the castle; her satchel slapped hard against her hip with every step she took - the leather strap cutting into the flesh of her shoulder. She was already running late, yet, there was no way that she was going to show up to the weekly prefects` meeting without James at her side. They were supposed to be discussing the rota for the upcoming month; and they needed to make sure that they wouldn`t get put on patrol during a full moon. It was unlike James to forget a thing like that.
It had been a full moon the previous night, thus James had obviously been with Remus. Now, he was nowhere to be found – annoyingly so.
When asked about James` whereabouts, Peter had lethargically pointed her in a vague direction. Peter had been rather glum these past couple of weeks; the breakup with Desdemona was clearly not treating him kindly. Still, Peter had ostensibly been telling the truth, seeing as Lily could see James standing at the end of the corridor.
Lily halted in her step - her breath high up in her chest and her heart beating fiercely from exertion. With mild confusion she stared at James as he was seemingly talking to one of the portraits. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hands placed upon his hips whilst he gazed up at the wall – his wand tucked precariously behind his ear.
`What are you doing?` Lily said, picking up her pace again. `I`ve been looking all over the castle for you.` She snatched the wand away from behind James` ear and handed it to him – accidentally brushing his hair with the back of her hand.
`Glad that I`m being missed.` James smirked, pushing his glasses further up his nose.
Lily resisted the urge to clip him about the ears. `Don`t tell me you forgot about the prefects` meeting?` She perched her hands on her hips in displeasure.
`Oh bollocks, that was today?` James` face fell and he rubbed his brow. `Sorry – have been a bit confused with what day it is - didn`t get much sleep.`
Lily bit her lip and refrained from reprimanding him any further. `Alright - well I found you now, so-` It was only then that she looked at the portrait with whom James had been chatting. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell ajar. `Potter, what did you do?!`
Instantly, James turned impish again. `Just done a bit of redecorating.`
The man in the painting, who previously had been a distinguished gentleman with a monocle and a top hat, was now decked out in a fiery red wig.
`Are you actually admitting to defiling school property?` Lily let out breathlessly, still gawking at the portrait. The gentleman smiled down at her nervously, adjusting his monocle at frequent intervals.
`Eh, I wouldn`t exactly call it defiling,` James replied, grinning and scratching his head. `Personally, I like it better this way – reckon he looks positively dashing.`
The man touched a gloved hand to his new scarlet hairdo, looking rather discombobulated. Lily held back a snort. One had to admit: it was quite funny. Furthermore, it was a clever piece of magic.
`We`ll deal with it later,` Lily said, regaining her composure. `I will not be caught at the scene of this - come along.`
Instinctively she grabbed James by his wrist, wanting to pull him away from the portrait. Obviously not having suspected this, James was momentarily caught off-guard; he stared down at her - deep brown eyes full of utmost surprise. The moment seemed to stretch on longer than necessary. Ultimately, Lily hastily let go of him - as if electrocuted. She inhaled sharply as she retracted her hand.
`Hurry up,` she said quickly, spinning on her heel and marching back across the corridor. `We`re already late.`
As she walked ahead of him she flexed and unflexed her hand, shaking her head to get rid of the odd sensation. She could still feel the soft skin of his wrist against the pads of her fingers.
*
Wednesday February 9th 1977
`Personally, I think you are wasting your time,` Lily said pointedly, dumping a pile of textbooks onto the library desk.
`I wouldn`t jump to conclusions.` Mary shrugged and crossed her legs, leaning back leisurely in her chair.
`Just…why Remus?` Lily asked, furrowing her brow. `I mean - I get why - but he`s our friend. Why risk it? You`ve got loads of options. What about that Ravenclaw who asked you to go to Hogsmeade with him next week? Or Roman?`
`Hm.` Mary shrugged again and sucked her teeth. `It`s a shame you didn`t want us to throw you a big party for your birthday – some music, some booze - get us both trollied – Bob`s your uncle.`
Lily`s seventeenth birthday had passed them by quite uneventful; she hadn`t desired to make a big fuss about it. As always, there had been plenty of cake and presents, her parents had send her a pile of gifts, and she`d been serenated multiple times - by multiple people.
It was a little bit odd to think of herself as oflegal age now. Although, in reality, not that much had changed. The novelty of it had soon worn off. Besides, she had been the last of their trio to turn seventeen, hence Mary and Marlene weren`t that fazed by it anymore. It was just another birthday; only now she was able to perform magic outside of Hogwarts.
`Anyway,` Mary sighed. `You got any plans for Valentines?`
`Nope,` Lily flicked through her Charms book.
`Nobody you fancy?`
`Nope,` Lily replied again, persistently.
`You`re being quite cryptic.`
`I`m not being cryptic,` Lily frowned, her gaze directed at the page in front of her. `You are boy-mad.`
Mary fell quiet, but Lily could sense by the telltale sound of her long nails tapping against the leg of her chair that she was either bored, restless, or mulling something over in her head.
`Peter asked out Dorcas,` Mary said, breaking the silence. `And get this: she said yes.`
`He did?` Lily looked up, mildly interested. `Well, good for Pete.` She was a bit tired of people always underestimating Peter purely because he was less obnoxious as the other boys.
*
Friday February 11th 1977
Tiredly Lily rubbed her eyes. It had been a long week, and on top of that she and James had had the night patrol that evening. There was a pile of homework still waiting for her, but she figured she`d do that over the weekend.
She was just about to head up to the girls` dorms when James opened his mouth again, seemingly still full of energy. `Evans, wait up.`
`What, Potter?` she sighed, practically hearing her warm bed calling out to her.
`I think you know what time it is,` he said, solemnly.
`Do I?` Lily replied nonplussed.
`Well,` he pressed his lips together in sort of an upside down smile. `It wouldn`t be almost Valentines if I weren`t to ask you out - it is sort of tradition.`
Lily rolled her eyes and sighed wearily. `So - are you?`
`Am I?` A mischievous smirk flittered on his lips. `Evans, are you asking me, to ask you out on a date?`
Lily tutted and felt herself flush, `Oh for goodness sake, Potter – no I am not,` she crossed her arms across her chest. `You are being very annoying and dragging this out more than necessary. So either get it over with and let me go to bed, or refrain from it at all.`
`Fine,` James licked his lips, eyes twinkling as he readjusted his stance. `Evans, will you go out with me?`
`No -`
`Ah, well.`
`- not in a hundred years.`
`I see that answer as a victory.`
`In what universe is that a victory?` Lily narrowed her eyes, amazed at herself that she hadn`t jinxed him yet.
`If I remember correctly: last year it was a million years. Now it is a hundred years. I`m getting closer – feel like I`m slowly whittling down the centuries. Who knows, maybe next year I`ll be in the decades.` James shrugged, unperturbed.
Lily pressed her lips together and closed her eyes; it was too late for this.
`Goodnight, Potter.` she said, heading off towards her dorm - a slight smile breaking through.
`Sweet dreams, Evans.`
***
Saturday February 12th 1977
Just as Mary had already predicted, getting Remus to make a move on her proved to be harder than it had been with any of the other boys she`d perused thus far. Typically, there was only a short span of time between the first time she touched their chest whilst laughing a little louder at their jokes than the wit of it truly deserved – boys weren`t that funny - and the boy in question asking her out on a date.
With Remus it was different. She`d been flirting with him for weeks now, and while he didn`t seem to mind it, he had done nothing that suggested he reciprocated her feelings towards him. But then, you could never really tell what Remus was feeling, or thinking.
Seeing as Lily knew Remus better than most, Mary had covertly asked her whether or not Remus ever mentioned something - anything. As far as she was concerned, Remus had never gone out with anyone. Plenty of girls seemed to fancy him; that certainly wasn`t the issue. It could just be that he, similar to Lily and Marlene, wasn`t that interested in dating – too focused on his academic career to busy himself with the faff of it all. Which, in all honesty, made him even more attractive. He wasn`t desperately chasing every girl in sight – as Sirius was. Or fruitlessly pining for someone – as James was. Although, lately Mary was starting to doubt this fruitlessness.
To top it, Lily even reckoned that Mary was wasting her time in pursuing Remus romantically. If he wasn`t responding to her rather obvious flirtatious cues, he probably wasn`t interested; it was as straightforward as that. Furthermore, she didn`t understand why Mary felt the need to try and involve herself with Remus at all. Why complicate their friendship?
While Mary certainly did get Lily`s point - there was a very real chance that this would make things in their friend group rather complicated – she couldn`t resist the temptation to try and find out for herself. It wasn`t necessarily that she was interested in having a relationship with Remus; having a relationship with anybody creeped her out at that point. All she wanted was to get this thing she was feeling for him out of her system; the best way to do that – in her humble opinion – was to go after what it was that she wanted. And Mary knew very well what it was that she wanted.
As luck would have it, whilst everybody else was either out of doors, or tramping around in Hogsmeade, Mary and Remus found themselves alone in the Gryffindor common room. It was Valentine`s Day weekend, thus most students were either on a date, or trying to ignore the holiday altogether. Remus seemed to belong to the latter category.
Marlene had tried to convince her to go to Hogsmeade with her and Lily, but Mary had made up an excuse as to why she couldn`t join them. In all honesty, she didn`t want her friends to know what she was planning on doing – especially Marlene. Marlene had been quite judgmental of Mary`s dating endeavours – making it rather clear that she disapproved. It wasn`t something new. Marlene had always been pretty vocal about her opinions on Mary`s various boyfriends, though, things seemed to be worse this year. Mary put it down to either jealously, or insecurity.
`Cheers again, Remus, for helping me.` Mary said as they went over the final notes on her History essay. `I`d have been lost without you.`
`Yeah sure, no bother.` Remus replied, unperturbed.
If there was one thing that Mary could always fall back on, it was asking a boy for help with something or other. Boys seemed to get a real thrill out of explaining something to a girl; it ostensibly made them feel important. All she had to do was act like she had no clue what she was doing and they`d come to her as moths to a flame. Frankly, it was hilarious.
`How come you`re not on a date, anyway?` Remus asked, still peering at the parchment on his lap, soft curls falling in his eyes.
`I wanted to spend time with you,` she smiled and scooted closer towards him on the couch. `Can`t have you here all lonely.` They had already been sitting rather squashed together, yet now she could feel her thigh press into his – sending a pleasant tingle up her belly.
`I`m not as much fun as Roman Rotherhide, I bet.` Remus cracked, cocking an suggestive eyebrow.
Whatever it was, it seemed that Remus was finally starting to catch on to her intentions. Gently, Mary placed her hand atop of his knee, waiting to see if he would ask her to take it away. The moment she`d sense some discomfort or unwillingness, she`d retract. However, Remus said nothing about the hand, so Mary slowly slid it upwards, catching his gaze.
`Well I don`t know about that,` she said softly, her hand still wandering upwards. `I`d like to judge for myself…`
Boldly she leaned in and lightly kissed him on the lips. Remus looked faintly startled and blinked. She decided that now was the time; she should just straight up ask him; it appeared that the only way to get through to Remus was to be very direct.
`Well? Do you fancy it?` she said, grinning suggestively.
Something like careful consideration seemed to pass over Remus` face – as if he was flicking though a stack of options in his mind. Then he nodded firmly. `Yes.`
Taking her by the hand, Remus took her up to the boys` dorms. The room was a mirrored version of her own - only reeking very much of teenage boys.
As she`d suspected, she needed to take the initiative. Nonetheless, when Remus started kissing her, the fluidity of it took her by surprise. She had suspected that he had never kissed anyone, but his lips and his hands were the ones of someone who`d very much done this before. He tasted like fags and coffee, yet not unpleasantly. In a way he reminded her of Sirius. Though, this was really not the time to start thinking about him again.
Fortunately, soon she forgot all about him. Remus was a lot more gentle - constantly asking her for reassurance and permission. On a lot of other people it might have come off as insecure, but somehow it didn`t with him. It was clear that he wanted her to be alright. They giggled awkwardly as they moved towards the fourposter bed – clumsily undressing.
Mary had ridden this rodeo enough times by now to know how it would play out and wasn`t as nervous about it anymore as she had been before. It got easier with time.
On the contrary, Remus did seem nervous. He fumbled with the buttons of his shirt – taking quite a while to get if off his torso. However, it soon became obvious why he`d done so. As Mary ran her hands up his back, she could feel the raw edges of rough scars run all the way from his shoulders to his lower back – in places crossing his enunciated spine. He breathed in sharply and tensed underneath her hands – his sinewy muscles rising up to meet her fingertips.
`Is this alright?` she asked, hesitantly. `Do you want me to stop?`
`Yeah, no,` Remus shook his head. `It`s alright.` He accompanied this by laying her down on the bed and edging over her.
`You`re lovely,` she said softly as Remus slowly began running his hand up her thigh.
Afterwards, they dressed shyly, laughing a little at the awkwardness of it. It was recognizable that they would not be repeating this again – at least, for Mary it was. Still, she was glad that she had tried – gotten her crush on Remus out of her system.
The whole ordeal had been fine – as fine as it could have been. It had certainly been thrilling and pleasurable, though, it had also lacked something. Yet, Mary couldn`t quite put her finger on what it was.
***
Saturday February 12th 1977
Normally, Marlene thoroughly enjoyed visiting Hogsmeade, though this time she could hardly wait to get back to the castle. The whole village had been swarming with couples – nauseatingly displaying their affections in public. What made people think that Valentine`s Day was an excuse to behave indecently? She`d wanted to gauge out her eyes when she`d happened upon Peter and Dorcas snogging behind the pub. Lily had made her sit through an entire butterbeer before she`d agreed to leave. Just in time, seeing as Sirius and Emmeline had stumbled into the pub as a two-headed creature.
Oddly enough, Mary hadn`t joined them – despite Marlene`s begging. She`d mumbled something about having a ton of assignments to catch up on, which Marlene reckoned to be a load of bollocks. It was very unlike Mary to be without a date – especially on a day like today. The pile of love confessions on Mary`s bedside table hadn`t gone unnoticed – not even to mention the singing gnome at breakfast that morning. Valentine`s Day was Mary`s favourite day of the year; everybody knew that.
Though she knew it was fickle, this irregularity in Mary`s pattern had sparked some hope in Marlene. She was almost embarrassed by how it made her spirits soar. Perchance, Mary had finally come to the conclusion that she, too, was hopelessly in love with her. Again: fickle.
Upon returning to their dorm, Mary was already there, leafing through a copy of Witch Weekly. So…the catching up on homework had been bollocks. Unless she was already finished; that was a possibility.
`Hi,` Mary looked up, grinning from ear to ear.
Marlene felt her cheeks turn hot; she smiled back sheepishly as she unwound her scarf. Despite the snow having been thawed, it was still dire cold.
`Hiya,` Lily said, trudging in behind Marlene, wrenching off her knitted hat. She surveyed Mary. `You look cheekily happy.`
`As a matter of fact I am.` Mary`s smile didn`t dissipate.
Marlene felt her stomach tingle and flip; she tried to conceal her curiosity by fussing around with the laces of her boots.
`Are you going to tell us?` Lily asked, throwing her coat onto her bed.
Mary wiggled her eyebrows, her cheeks dimpling. `Well, not to kiss and tell…`
Marlene`s stomach dropped as if someone had thrown a heavy rock in it; her throat turned sandpaper dry. So, nothing had changed.
Instantly Lily`s eye`s widened and she gawped at Mary. `Don`t tell me that…?`
Jauntily, Mary hopped off her bed. `Let`s just say that those scars Lupin has don`t limit themselves to only his face!`
Lily let out a shirl shriek-like laugh, turned bright red, and covered her mouth with her hand.
With a bang, Marlene dropped one of her boots to the floor and jerked upright. `You slept with Remus?` Her entire body felt as if it had been dunked in a vat of acid. `Are…are you two dating now?`
`Nah,` Mary shrugged casually. `More of a one-time thing.`
Marlene swallowed, really trying to keep her feelings neatly locked away - all of her disappointment and hurt. Nevertheless, the dam wasn`t strong enough and it didn`t take long for the water to break through and flood the place. `You fecking shagged Lupin?!` It was hard not to scream.
A frown appeared on Mary`s forehead and her smile melted away – seeping down her face. `Yeah, so what?` She perched her hands on her hips, jutting out her chin in defiance.
Lily`s eyes had turned as big as saucers and she stared from the one to the other, her lips clammed shut.
`So what - you`re working your way through all the marauders?` Marlene spat as, still on her side of the room. `Who`s next? James? Or rather Peter…though, I suppose you`d have to fight Dorcas on that one.`
`What the hell is your problem?` Mary bit back. `Who are you to tell me whom I should and shouldn`t go out with?`
`Well you didn`t exactly go out with him, did you?` Marlene replied meanly, her chest heaving with the effort of keeping her rage contained. `You just shagged him.`
`Seriously, what is your bloody problem?!` Mary`s eyes were blazing now. `You`re acting like I`m some sort of Mary Magdalene – treating this school as my personal brothel.`
Marlene traversed across to room, edging closer to Mary. `Well, you might just as well. You`re tramping around this school as a fecking bitch in heat.`
`Stop fucking trying to guilt trip me for being young and having a bit of fun,` Mary hissed, twisting her necklace. `Get enough of that from home already. God, you`re worse than by bloody mother!`
`I don`t care about the fact that you`re shagging people,` Marlene replied. `I just don`t care for the way you go about it.`
`What are you trying to say?` Mary cocked her head boldly. `Come on – spit it out. I can take it - I`m a big girl.`
Marlene swallowed, gulping down her emotions.
`You know what your problem is?` Mary pointed a trembling finger at her face, not exactly waiting for an answer.
Terrified, Marlene took a step back, scared of what she was going to say. Lily was still in the room with them, gawping at the spectacle with an anxious expression smeared across her face.
`You shut yourself off like a shell and bottle up all you`re fucking emotions – never talking about what you`re really feeling. God! Half the time I don`t even know what is going on in that head of yours.` Mary threw up her hands in exasperation. `You never let anyone in, and then you complain about people shying away from you. You make yourself so damn alone, but don`t bother to do anything about it. So - don`t condemn me for going out there and getting it, if you can`t fucking do it yourself.` Mary`s voice was reduced to a low register, her eyes glaring across the empty space.
Marlene felt unable to move, her insides had turned to ice, and it seemed as if she had lost the ability to open her mouth.
`Don`t blame me for your own fucking mystery.`
As if she had been pushed against her chest – which she might as well have been – Marlene teetered on the spot, feeling the world swirl around her. She hadn`t intended for things to get this vile.
`Feck you, Mary,` was the last thing she said before storming out the door.
`Oh, I`m sure someone will do that for me!` Mary`s muffled cry pierced through the door.
*
Things got strange after her fight with Mary; they never fought. Sure, they bickered, but never did they go days without speaking to each other. Lily was acting as Switzerland – refusing to take a side. Which was fair, but it did complicate matters.
At mealtimes they still sat together – keeping it cordial, acting as if nothing was going on. That was one of the main things that Marlene had noticed: despite having been absolutely abominable to one another, they still smiled and pretended like nothing was wrong. When the boys in their house or her quidditch teammates were in a fight, they fought it out face to face – sometimes throwing some jinxes back and forth or dealing eachother a blow – then it was done. There was none of this false pretense happening – at least, not as far as she could tell.
She`d been afraid that things between her and Remus would go awry as well; she had been scared that she wouldn`t be able to look at him without knowing what had happened between him and Mary. However, as could have been expected, Remus was still Remus. Which, in a way, made it hard to believe that it had even happened. Not too long ago, Marlene had been under the impression that Remus wasn`t interested in girls at all. She hadn`t had solid ground for this, despite the fact that he`d never gone out with anybody. Nevertheless, she`d had her suspicions – certainly after her talk with Christopher a while ago. This whole Mary-debacle set her on a whole different footing.
Apart from mealtimes, or classes, Marlene retracted back in her shell. Perhaps Mary had been right in that regard. Still, Marlene couldn`t help but feel defensive. It was not her own choice to isolate herself; her loneliness wasn`t a path she actively took.
Quidditch practice and healing lessons with Madame Pomfrey were her only respite to the constant tension in their dorm. It was terribly hard to sleep in the same room as someone whom she simultaneously wanted to strangle to death and kiss breathless.
///