Fifth Year, Christmas
Thursday December 25th 1975
The modest courtyard behind the church was squared in by tall prickly hedges. Most of the leaves had fallen off, leaving them skeletal and barren. It was possible to see right through the branches onto the road that ran by the church; offsetting the purpose of the hedge altogether. It had been raining for days on end now and the grey cobblestones were shining wet from the downpour. Mary held her missalette above her head as she hurried through the gate into the courtyard; her flat shoes almost gliding over the slippery underground.
Abi was sitting underneath an awning on a rusty metal bench. She had her legs crossed and was bopping one of her feet up and down with vigour.
`Oi,` Mary called out to her younger sister. `Mum wants you to come inside!`
Crossly, Abi looked away and rolled her eyes, making a disdainful huffing sound; she`d reached the age that everything was met with this response.
`She`s not mad anymore.` Mary pleaded. `Come on, I`m freezing my tits off here.` She rubbed her arms and hopped from one leg to the other.
Usually it was Gabi who did things like these; negotiating with younger siblings. However, Gabi had brought her boyfriend along and refused to leave him alone with their parents.
`Mass if over, you won`t have to sit through that anymore.` Mary held on. `You can get something to eat, maybe find your friends.`
`Don`t want to.`
`You`re being impossible.`
`Go inside then.`
Mary shook her head and sat down next to her sister; the cold metal radiated right through her thin frock, making her muscles clench up.
`How`d you even get the fags?`
`Nicked `em from Father Wilsons` office last week.` Abi raised her chin in defiance.
`What`d you do that for?`
`Felt like it.` Abi kept bopping her feet up and down.
`Christ.`
`Blasphemy.`
Mary laughed and gave her younger sister a shove. The downpour intensified, drowning out the voices and laughter from inside the church. The silence drew out between them until Abi started wiggling her foot again and scraped her throat.
`Saw Darren today. He asked how you were doing.`
Mary felt a lump form in her throat. `And what did you say?`
`I said he could piss off. That you`ve got a new boyfriend up at that posh school and that he`s proper fit.`
`How did he react? Did he look sad; jealous?` Mary pressed on.
`Dunno,` Abi shrugged and tinkered with the seem of her pleated skirt. `I reckon he`s a right wanker.`
`You shouldn`t swear.`
`You swear.`
`I`m older; you`re only thirteen.`
`You`re an annoying cow.` Abi crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared stonily at the middle of the courtyard. Mary hoped she hadn`t been like that three years ago.
Mary had told her sisters about Sirius, but was yet to breach the topic with her parents. She was scared about how they might react; especially her mother.
At that moment, two small white robed figures emerged out of a side door, their skirts draping over the wet pavement. Mary recognised them as being Tarone and Ziggy; they had been appointed as acolytes for today`s Mass.
`What`re you two doing?` Mary called out.
`We need a wee!` Ziggy yelped back, already raising his habit to unbutton his trousers.
`For fuck sake, not in the hedge!` Mary sprang up, but saw it was already too late as Tarone had also unzipped his fly.
She waited until they were done before she pulled both her little brothers by an arm back inside the church. Abi was giggling loudly as she followed in their wake.
`Oi, ever heard of a loo?!`
`Someone was on it. We couldn`t wait.`
`Oh my God.` Mary groaned.
`You`re not supposed to say that.` Ziggy said smartly. `Father Wilson said it`s wrong to use the Lord`s name in vain.`
`I know that.` Mary snapped back. `So is pissing in a bush.`
`Did he tell you that?` Tarone raised a challenging eyebrow. `Did he specifically tell you that you`re not s`posed to piss in a bush?`
`Don`t talk back to me.` Mary narrowed her eyes; feeling very authoritative.
`You won`t tell mum or dad, because if you do, I`ll grass on you and tell them about your secret boyfriend.` Tarone said smugly. Great, he`d been listening in on them.
`Then I`ll hex you.` Mary whispered and perched a hand on her hip, leaning over.
`Ha! You can`t.` Ziggy giggled. `You`re not supposed to.`
A couple of other churchgoers were starting to cast curious glances their way. Both her brothers` white habits were smeared with mud and the hem of Ziggy`s was still tucked into his trousers. Before Mary could do something about it, both her brothers hurried away towards the altar, chuckling and shoving eachother. Abi was busy grabbing candies from a bowl and shoving them into her pockets.
`Let`s go.` Mary pulled Abi away from the table.
`Hey!` Abi let out indignantly. `I`m allowed to take those.`
The church was decorated with all sorts of Christmas ornaments and the whole place smelled strongly of pine needles. Long white candles were dripping wax everywhere, making an absolute mess.
Shamar was hanging on their mother`s leg, his chubby fists clenched in the pleats of her skirt. Her youngest brother was shy and didn`t like the multitude of people. Mary rubbed his small head of curls, earning her a radiant smile.
`Oh, good you found her.` her mother sighed as she spotted Abi cowering behind Mary. `Where have you been girl?` she addressed her daughter crossly and smoothed her rumpled skirt.
Abi cast Mary a reproachful look, saying; you told me she wasn`t cross anymore!
Putting out a welcoming hand, Gabi pulled Mary into the circle, linking her arm with hers. Gabi looked incredibly grown up; she`d cut her hair short and wore a dress that could just as easily have been their mother`s. Gabi`s boyfriend had a protective hand placed on her lower back; he was a couple of years older than her and she`d met him via her nursing programme.
There was another person standing in the circle that she didn`t know. He was a stocky boy with glasses. The boy caught Mary`s eye, glanced her up and down and then shyly looked at his feet.
`Mary have you met Garrison?` her dad said. `He tutors Tarone in maths.`
`No, I must say I haven`t...` Mary shook her head, pressing her lips together. She could already see what this was building up to be.
`He`s a very smart and respectable young man.` her dad went on. `Aren`t you son?`
Garrison nodded. `I try my best, sir.`
`…and he is your age.`
Oh God; they were indeed trying to set them up. He did look exactly like the type of boy that her parents wanted her to end up with.
Gabi, evidently having sensed Mary tense up, decided to breach in. `You know…our Mary actually is seeing someone very respectable.` Mary couldn`t help but hear the hint of sarcasm in her sister`s voice.
Mary glared sideways at her sister; grass; not that mature after all. She would like to kick her, but that would undermine the whole respectable part.
`Is that so?` her mother frowned, her voice pinched. `First time I`ve heard about this, Mary?`
Mary swallowed, feeling worried. At least, with all these people around, her mother wouldn`t give her a scolding. Unless she wanted it to be a very public one.
`Erm, yeah,` Mary nodded nervously. `He goes to my school. We`ve been going steady for a couple of months now actually.`
Garrison actually looked somewhat relieved and disappeared quietly.
`We`ll talk about this later.` Her mother gave Mary a thunderous look as she swept Shamar up into her arms, perched him on her hip and walked off. The rest of the party also broke up to mingle.
`What`d you do that for?` Mary hissed at Gabi, who quickly ushered her boyfriend away.
`Didn`t think you could keep it a secret, did you?` Gabi replied sternly. `She`d have been cross either way; doesn`t like the thought of you galloping around with all sorts of boys.`
`I don`t gallop around with all sorts of boys.` Mary bit back.
`Well, it`s hard to tell when you`re off to that school all year. You only just broke up with Darren and you know how attached she was.` Gabi shrugged. `S`pose she just wants you in her eyesight. Easier to do that if the boy you`re seeing is actually someone we know.`
Mary bit her tongue and decided the argument wasn`t worth it. It wasn`t like she had chosen to be as far away from her family as she was. She had never actively chosen all of this. It wasn`t her fault if her mother thought she was slagging it out at Hogwarts. She was sixteen; she was allowed to have a little fun.
***
Saturday December 27th 1975
It hadn`t snowed at all that Christmas and Lily felt rather disappointed about it. The whole week, it had been absolutely abysmal weather; grey sleets of water falling from the heavens. She`d been cooped up in her room for most of it, working on the essays that were due in early January. From her window she`d watched the front yard get turned into a muddy patch of soil, decorated with some miserable looking plants. Her parents had gotten her a miniature Christmas tree to put up on her desk; an effort to bring some of the festive spirit into her bedroom.
As always she`d sent out Christmas cards and homemade presents to her friends. Her owl had been busy flying in and out to deliver them all in time. The nutmeg biscuits she`d sent Marlene sadly hadn`t made it. When the owl got back, completely drenched, it had a piece of parchment attached to its claw saying that it had dropped the parcel into a puddle, and that the biscuits had been unsalvageable.
It was only four o`clock in the afternoon, but already the sun was nowhere to be found. The sky had turned awfully dark and Lily had to turn on an additional light if she whished to spare her eyesight. A cooled down cup of stale tea stood on her desk; she took a sip of the lukewarm beverage, made a face, and decided to she`d better get rid of it.
As Lily set her foot on the first step, Petunia came bounding up the stairs, her thin hair pulled up in a tight ponytail. The two sisters almost bumped into each other.
`Oh, I`m sorry.` Lily stepped aside. `I didn`t mean to…`
`It`s fine, Lily.` Petunia replied, devoid of emotion, and shoved past her.
The door to Petunia`s bedroom slammed shut and Lily stared at it for a couple of seconds before shaking herself and heading down the stairs. There had been no improvement whatsoever in Petunia`s attitude towards her. They acted amicably in front of their parents, but beside that, Petunia avoided and ignored her; save for the spare snide comment whenever Lily tried to breach the gap between them.
Her parents were both sitting in the living room. Her dad had the newspaper splayed open on his lap, but his mouth stood agape, mid snore. Her mother was cutting coupons out of a flyer; her hair up in tight curlers, the whites of her scalp visible. It were those days between Christmas and New Year`s when time doesn`t feel real and everything somehow seems to come to a stop.
Just as Lily was washing out her cup, the doorbell rang, the tinny sound reverberating in the hallway. She frowned and checked the clock; she wasn`t expecting anyone. It rang a second time, but Petunia didn`t come down to open it. The third rang roused her dad out of his slumber and he got up grumpily to get the door.
`Lily, it`s for you!` he called out to her, already retaking his seat.
She wiped her hands on a tea towel and hurried into the hallway, her thick socks dragging over the carpeted floor.
`What`s up, Sev?` she said surprised as she spotted him. `Didn`t know you were coming today.`
Severus stood on the other side of the threshold, his hair was wet from the rain despite the equally wet umbrella he was holding.
`Want to come in?` she opened the door further. `You`ll catch a cold.`
Gratefully he stepped inside and wrung out his dripping hair. Lily always wore her own clothes when she wasn`t at Hogwarts, she knew most students did, though, Severus never seemed to don his robes.
`Did your parents have a fight again?` Lily asked as she closed the door behind him.
Severus still hadn`t said as much as a word; maybe he was just cold. He shook his head. `I come bearing news, Lily.`
`News?` Lily frowned, narrowing her eyes. `Why? What`d you mean? I didn`t see anything in the Prophet this morning.`
`It wasn`t in the Prophet.` Severus replied strangely, glancing over Lily`s shoulder into the living room, surveying her parents. `It`s a private matter. Can we go elsewhere?`
`Sure.` Lily replied reluctantly. `We can go up to my room.` She didn`t really feel like having Severus in her bedroom, but she supposed it was the only option.
Severus followed her up the stairs. Lily desperately hoped that they wouldn`t run into Petunia again; she wouldn`t hear the end of it.
Inside her room Severus looked unsure of himself, he dawdled in the middle of the room, glancing around himself. Lily almost never made any changes to her room, still Severus felt the need to examine it every time her entered it as if he`d never seen it before.
`So…` Lily offered as she closed the door. `You`re going to tell me, or do I need to read your mind?`
Severus wandered over to her desk and glanced at the books she`d laying open; a half finished Potions essay amid them. Quickly Lily tucked the parchment into one of the books and shut it.
`There`s drama at the Black estate.` Severus raised his eyebrows.
`And that`s news because…?` Lily knitted her brow; there was always drama at the Black family.
`They kicked him out onto the street.` Severus drawled, wiping a finger over a dusty shelf. `Put him up for grabs; like a stray puppy.`
`What`d you mean; kicked him out?` Lily sat down on her bed, grabbing a pillow and putting it on her lap. There could only be one him that Severus was talking about; Sirius.
`There was apparently a big row at the Black residence. The word is that they disinherited him.` Severus` lips seemed to curl; as if he thought it was amusing.
`They disinherited him? What does that even mean?` Lily frowned, fiddling with the corner of the pillow.
`Cut him out of the will; out of the family.` Severus now had his back turned to her, but Lily could hear the glee in his voice. `Burned him off the tapestry, I heard.`
`But…he`s always had problems with his family? I don`t understand… Why now? I don`t think I`ve ever heard him say one kind world about his family.`
`Obviously,` Severus turned around and started pacing back and forth, his face was contorted into a sour expression. `Black has always rather been the black sheep. I`m honestly surprised it took them this long. But to answer your question; they had a gathering – lots of important people…`
`What kind of important people?` Lily cut in.
Severus narrowed his eyes. `Doesn`t matter, Lily. Anyway, apparently young Sirius just lost it. He lost it. Didn`t want to do his family duties.`
`How do you know all this?` Lily stared at Severus, puzzled.
`That is hardly the point.` He deftly evaded her question and let a silence fall, sauntering over the her desk again. `He fled; ran away. Last I`ve heard of it he`s staying at the Potter`s.` There was a hint of disdain in his voice, revealing that he obviously didn`t approve of this.
`Gosh,` Lily breathed. `How horrid.` She swallowed and stared at her hands. She couldn`t imagine what it would be like to be banished from your family like that.
`You can`t possibly pity him, Lily?` Severus asked.
Lily frowned. `I might not like him. But nobody should have to go through that.`
`Oh,` Severus rolled his eyes. `As if he truly had it hard. He`s just a stuck up cushioned rich boy that doesn`t know true misery. He`s too conceited to see how good he has it. I think he is a fool for throwing away his privileges like that. If it were me and I was asked to pledge allegiance, I would have known what I`d done.` Severus stared out the window onto the rainy street.
`You`d become a dark wizard?` Lily stared at him with something close to fear. `Is that what you`re saying?`
`Of course not, Lily.` Severus drawled. `Besides, that dark wizard talk is nonsense; there is no such thing. It`s all politics.`
`Right,` Lily bit the inside of her cheeks. `All politics…`
***
Monday December 29th 1975
`Merlin, what`d you do to your hand!?`
Danny hurried into the kitchen; one of his hands dripping blood all over the clean kitchen tiles. Hurriedly Marlene jumped up and guided her brother towards the sink.
`Cut myself chopping wood.` her brother replied, his voice pinched. `Axe slipped.`
`Why didn`t you use magic?` Marlene frowned and took her brother`s hand, examining the gash. `Fer feck sake, there`s dirt in it. It`s going to get infected if we don`t clean it.`
`Reckoned I`d be outdoorsy.` Danny groaned. `Get a workout in; my back hand`s been getting weak.`
`Eejit.` Marlene turned on the cold tap. `Now you won`t be able to use it at all.`
`Ouch!` Danny yelped as Marlene let the water run over his hand and applied some pressure.
`You`re lucky you didn`t hit any major arteries.` she grumbled, grabbing a strip of bandage from the first aid kit and winding it tightly around his hand.
`Aye, lucky me.` Danny rolled his eyes and stared at his bandaged hand.
`Could`ve had you towed off to St Mungo`s.`
Marlene grappled around in the emergency kit and pulled out something that would aid with the healing. Her mother always made sure that they had enough potions and balms for any emergency that might occur; one of the benefits of her line of work.
`Drink.` she demanded, screwing the top off the small bottle.
`It tastes foul.` Danny pulled a face.
`Don`t whinge.`
`Aye, Doctor McKinnon.` her brother replied jokily and obeyed.
`See you`re feeling all better.` Marlene started tidying the medical supplies away.
`You should become a healer.` Danny said, still fighting the taste of the potion.
`You know,` Marlene frowned. `You`re not the first person to suggest that actually.`
`Not surprised.`
`D`you want some tea?` Marlene asked. `Was going to make some before you came bursting in. I need a break from all this Transfiguration shite.` She gestured at the kitchen table that was completely covered in books.
`S`pose I have some time.` Danny said, checking his watch. `Need to leave in half an hour though.`
`What for?` Marlene filled up the kettle and put it on the hob. `Thought you didn`t have practice during the holidays.`
`I don`t…` Danny hesitated. `It`s something else. Not s`posed to say really.`
Marlene lit the fire and leaned against the kitchen counter, her hipbone jutting into the hard surface. She could easily ask Danny to make the water boil on command, but she liked the mundanity of doing tasks by hand; taking her time.
`You can tell me.` Marlene pressed. `It`s not like I`m going to blab my arse off.`
With a flick of his wand Danny produced two cups and saucers and a tray of biscuits. It was quite obvious that he was trying to evade her question.
`Don`t know if it`s safe if I tell ye.` he frowned, gently lowering the cups onto the table.
Marlene swallowed. `Has it something to do with why mammy is up and away all the time?`
Ever since she`d been back at Hollyhock for the winter holidays, she`d barely seen her mother. Before Marlene had even left her bed, her mother would depart to attend these supposed work meetings. Though, Marlene didn`t believe that for one bit. Herbology was a solitary business; work meetings were sparce. One time, she actually thought she`d seen Professor Dumbledore arrive on the premises; white beard and all. However, her mother had denied this.
`Maybe…` Danny hesitated.
`You`re a shite secret keeper, you know that?` Marlene said. The kettle started whistling; the water was boiling.
`Yer hard to keep secrets from.` he replied. `Very persuasive.`
Marlene lifted her eyebrows; it took someone with a lot of secret to know how to sniff them out.
`Alright,` Danny gave in. `It has to do something with that. But I promised mammy I`d keep you out of it.`
`I`m not a bairn anymore.`
Her brother surveyed her carefully. `No, I s`pose yer not.` He shuffled restlessly in his seat, breaking off a piece of a biscuit. `But, you need to promise me ye`ll keep yer trap shut, alright? Not even to auld Andrew.`
Marlene nodded fervently; she`d be a blithering eejit to confide in her stepfather.
Danny took a breath. `We`ve joined the resistance; mammy and me.`
`What?` Marlene breathed, her mouth falling open in shock. That was not what she`d been expecting at all.
`It`s been building up for years now.` Danny continued, his voice lowered as if someone might overhear them. `Dumbledore`s been recruiting people. We`re preparing for when the worst of it hits.`
`The worst of it hits? You mean with the war and all?` Marlene started picking anxiously at her nails; completely forgetting she was in the process of making tea.
Danny nodded gravely. `Dumbledore reckons it won`t take long anymore `fore we need to get out there. They`ve been having meetings; the Dark Lord and his following.`
`Get out there?` Marlene was having a hard time trying to comprehend what her brother was telling her.
``Fraid I can`t really tell ye.` Danny said. `Some things really are too risky to talk about.`
`But…` Marlene faltered. `Isn`t it dangerous?`
`In times like these everything`s dangerous.` Came Danny`s unsatisfactory answer. `Better to get in the middle of it, than stand on the side lines and watch it all happen. But don`t worry, it`s still very minor, at least for me, I won`t be cutting back on quidditch. That`d only rouse suspicions.`
All her books and notes were still splayed out on the table; Marlene stared at them, feeling at a loss of words. Not for the first time, she had the odd sensation that all her personal problems were so small in the grand scheme of it all. Maybe it wouldn`t be such a bad idea after all to become a healer; devote herself to the greater good.
`Well,` Danny rose from the table and slapped her lightly on the back. `I really do need to get going now. Dumbledore won`t be chuffed if I`m late.` He grabbed a biscuit, put it into his mouth, and shoved another one in his breast pocket. `Give auld Andrew my greetings if he ever shows up from the pub.` He tipped two fingers to his head and disappeared through the same door as he had come in.
`Aye.` Marlene screwed up her nose.
Their stepfather had lost his position at The Ministry and had decided that the best way to deal with this predicament was to drown his sorrows until the sea merged with the land. It wasn`t the first time that he`d gone on a bender like this; completely disregarding their mother’s feelings. Marlene didn`t understand that her mother had chosen him; especially after their infamous bastard of a father had abandoned them. Maybe it was in their blood to fall for the wrong people.
Marlene had been thinking about her birthfather more than usual these last few days. He`d been popping into her mind at regular intervals. Perhaps spending too much time alone with her own thoughts was the root to these ponderings. Her thoughts felt like a machine that she was unable to switch off; turning and turning around in endless circles.
She`d be of age next year; at least in the eyes of The Ministry of Magic. By law she would be permitted to make her own decisions; to a certain extent of course. There would be nothing prohibiting her from using magic to locate her father. He must be out there somewhere in the muggle world; if he hadn`t died already. She wondered if he ever thought about them; about her mother; about Danny. She doubted that he ever thought about her; he`d never even known her. There was no knowing as to what she ever was to do if she came to stand face to face with him. Maybe she didn’t even want to.
Possibly he`d been right to bolt. To flee from the magical world before this whole war started going down. Maybe he`d sensed danger on the horizon. Marlene certainly sensed danger; a dark looming cloud hanging above them, waiting for the opportune moment. The whisperings in the reeds were growing louder.
///