Fourth Year, Winter Break
Saturday December 21st 1974
The London underground had been incredibly packed - swamped with people hurrying home, wanting to get out of the grizzly cold and into their comfortable homes. Even though there had been a thick layer of pillowy snow coating the Hogwarts grounds, as soon as the train had pulled into King`s Cross, they had entered a grey and abysmal state of weather. It had only been Gabi and her father who had stood waiting on the platform to welcome Mary back home; her mother and other siblings still at the flat. Secretly, Mary had hoped that Darren also would have greeted her at the station; it had slightly disappointed her when he hadn`t. However, it had been a bit of wishful thinking on her part, seeing as she never told him at what time she`d arrive back in London. The blame was entirely on her.
`Oh, I`m so glad to be back.` Mary sighed and linked her arm in Gabi`s, squeezing herself against her older sister.
`Yeah, you missed us then?`
`Nah, I didn`t miss you.` Mary teased and Gabi gave her a playful shove. `Am already shot of you.`
Their father grinned at the both of them, the drizzly rain dripping down his temples as he towed Mary`s trunk with him. Fortunately, it was quite a small load of belongings that Mary had brought along with her. Darren – the cat that was – could stay at the castle over the holidays – as most of the pets. Neither her father or her sister had apparently had the clarity of mind to take an umbrella with them, so by the time they got to the flat, all three of them were drenched to the bone.
They had to keep quiet once they were inside; all Mary`s younger siblings already being put to bed. Her mother was still awake, peeling potatoes at the kitchen table, old newspaper covering the table. Mary almost wept as her mother enveloped her in an embrace, pressing her head against her large chest, smelling like rosemary, cloves and heady rum.
While she was dead on her feet, Mary had a hard time falling asleep. Abigay was snoring loudly in her cot, Gabi still in the kitchen with their parents. The upstairs neighbours had their telly on and the voices dribbled through the thin ceiling, down the walls. Mary tried to decipher what they were watching, but didn`t get far.
She felt disappointed that Darren hadn`t waited up, or at least rung her. She could ring him, she supposed, or cross the hall and knock on his door, but she didn`t want to wake the rest of his family. Besides, she was sure her mother wouldn`t approve of her seeing a boy – even if it was Darren, especially if it was Darren – this late at night.
Sunday December 22nd 1974
Somehow, Mary had fallen asleep, and at the crack of dawn she was roused by her mother to get up and go to Mass. They dressed their Sunday best and headed out the door, her father dragging her younger brothers along by an arm.
She glanced up and down the hallway, the bright lights overhead flickering. Darren`s family was nowhere to be seen. They attended the same church, so she`d have expected them to leave around the same time.
`He`ll be there, love.` Gabi said reassuringly as she noticed her sister`s anxious look.
It was still raining and Abi complained all the way to the church that her frock was getting wet. Ziggy kept wiping his snotty nose on his jacket sleeve, which gave him a stern clipping around the ear by their father.
The entrance to the church was swarmed with people trying to get inside in time for Mass, most of them holding umbrellas, others quickly ducking underneath the awning.
Mary hurried inside after her family, getting pulled along in the thick stream of people. Suddenly, she felt her hand get yanked back and she was hauled into the little office that was mostly used for administrative purposes.
The next thing she knew she was forcefully kissed and lifted off the ground. She squealed and pulled herself loose.
`Darren Harvey!` She slapped the tall, wide grinning boy across his chest. `Don`t you ever do that again!`
`What, me snogging you?` Darren asked teasingly.
`You know what I mean.` Mary flustered and pushed him against his chest again with the palm of her hand. `You can snog me anytime.`
`Yeah?`
`Mh-mh.` Mary nodded, twirling back and forth.
Darren kissed her again, this time more gently and Mary was able to lean into it, letting her lips linger, feeling herself merge with him.
Holding onto her waist and looking into eyes her he said earnestly, `I`m sorry I wasn`t there last night.`
`S`alright.` Mary shrugged, though, last night and earlier this morning she`d felt very differently.
`Things were a bit mental at home yesterday. And needed to help my Ma set up for Mass this mornin`. So, well, yeah.`
`I understand.` Mary nodded, pressing herself up against him.
Darren kissed her again and Mary indulged, filling the deficit she`d felt the last couple of months.
`We better get out there.` she whispered as she heard it quietening down in the church hall. `Don`t think they`ll like us cosying up in here like this.`
Giggling and flushed they scampered out of the office, each making a beeline for their own pews. Gabi shook her head and gave her a classic told-you-so look. To her surprise, their family pew was one person short.
`Where`s Jayden?` she whispered in her sister`s ear.
`Not coming,` Gabi replied, her voice low. `Says he thinks it`s all sodding bullocks. Church. God. Has better things to do, he says.`
`Shh.` their mother hushed them.
Mary turned to face the front of the church, feeling extremely conflicted.
Friday December 27th 1974
Living in a tiny flat with a large family had its many qualms, mainly when it concerned privacy. Mary had already had the unfortunate experience of having her mother walk in on her and Darren snogging on the couch, followed by the talk; the moral of it being: don`t get knocked up or else.
Darren`s own flat wasn`t that much better of an option, seeing as he also had many siblings. With that, they were often forced to go out. This mainly meant sneaking into bad movies and sitting in the back row - obscured in the dark from the other visitors - or going to the dancehall and hiding in a booth.
`My sis might be getting married next summer.` Darren said, one grey afternoon, back again at the dancehall, Lady Marmalade playing in the background.
`Gawd, congrats.` Mary sipped at her drink, taking a very long to finish her glass so they could sit there without having to order something else. The staff didn`t like it very much when they hogged a table without ordering.
`You reckon that you`d want to be my date?` Darren looked shyly at his hands. `To the weddin` I mean.`
`Really?`
He nodded.
Mary grinned. `Yeah, sure.` The fact that Darren was already thinking as far ahead as the summer made her head swarm. They`d been going out for a year now, to the date actually.
`You know a friend of yours from posho school, she…erm, sent me a card?` Darren tapped the side of his empty glass with his finger and chewed on a chip. `Whishin` me a Merry Christmas and such.`
Mary laughed, she had known this would come up sooner or later. `Oh, yeah that`s Lily alright, the girl`s a doll. Just trying to be nice.`
`Was she the redhead with the owl?`
Mary swallowed nervously. `Hm-hm.` she took another sip of her drink and tried to deflect. `Marlene`s my other dormmate. Blonde hair, tall, willowy. You haven`t met her yet. You`d like her, though. Bit of a tomboy, into sports.`
`Why`d she got an owl?` Darren frowned, it apparently bothered him a lot.
`Dunno,` Mary shrugged. They were getting on thin ice. `S`pose she just really likes birds.`
`That a posh thing?`
`What, liking birds?`
`How`s I to bloody know,` Darren replied, taking another chip. `Your school is such a bloody mystery to me.`
The rest of the afternoon was loaded thickly with unanswered questions. Mary did her best to keep the spirits high and distract Darren from asking any further questions about school. But it wasn`t easy, Darren kept staring at her wearily.
When she came home, there was an owl waiting on the windowsill, an envelope dangling from its claw, her name scrawled on it in Marlene`s spindly handwriting. Inside was a note in a different handwriting and a newspaper clipping; there had been another attack.
***
Wednesday December 25th 1974
Christmas day was a rainy one; sleek sheets of water falling down, drowning the streets, rushing rivers slopping into the gutter. Over the years, Christmas dinners had gotten a quieter affair. Both of Lily`s father`s parents had passed away when Lily was little; she barely remembered them. On her mother`s side of the family she`d only had her Nanna left, who was bound to the nursing home and hence unable to attend. Neither one of her parents had any other close relatives who came to visit during the holidays.
Lily never much minded it being just the four of them; her, Petunia and their parents. However, this year, her dad had invited their new neighbours. Ava and George Walker were both in their early thirties, fresh faced, newly moved in and clearly nervous to impose on a family dinner. Her father had felt obliged to invite them since they were new to the neighbourhood. Petunia seemed to mind more than Lily did and had thrown an angry fit at the news.
All afternoon, Lily had helped her mother prepare the roast, set up the dinner placements, and decorate the dining room. They`d arrived at five o`clock sharp, carrying a fruit cake the size of a tree trunk. She`d sat with them in the living room, making small talk and inquiring about their jobs and their recent wedding. Petunia had come down from her room just in time for dinner, the phone still half pressed to her ear.
`These jacket potatoes are truly wonderful, Mrs Evans.`
`Please call me Sarah, love.` her mother smiled indulgently. `Would you like some more perhaps?`
`Oh, if you insist.` Ava replied and beamed.
Lily reached over to grab the tureen with gravy and poured it over her potatoes and carrots, careful not to get the sleeve of her dress into the cranberry compote. On her left side, Petunia was busy getting the stings off her beans and tearing the skin off her potatoes, putting them on the side of her plate.
`Petunia a little bit of decorum, please. We`ve got guests.` her father said, lowering his voice, bending over to Petunia.
Petunia glared at him and blotted her fingers with her napkin.
`Seán.` her mother put a hand on his arm and shook her head, indicating with her eyes at their neighbours.
Lily bit the inside of her cheeks and placed the tureen back in the middle of the table, next to the roast chicken and red cabbage.
`So, Lily,` George began after forcefully having swallowed a mouthful of food. `Your father tells me you`re top of the class!`
`Oh, now that is very kind, but I wouldn`t say that.` Lily flushed and stared at her fork. `I`m top in some subjects. But there are far cleverer students in my year, I`m certain.`
`I find that hard to believe.` Ava said. `You`re such a clever girl. I wished I had half the wit you have at your age.`
`Yes, our Lily truly is a special girl.` her dad beamed, proudly.
Lily smiled but felt horrified, more so as Petunia seemed to draw into herself even more, her back hunched over as if she was trying to blend in with the chair.
The neighbours stayed for a little nightcap and afterwards Lily and Petunia were excused to go up to their rooms. Petunia took this opportunity to immediately storm up the stairs, Lily hurrying after her.
`Tunie, wait for me!` she called, heaving as she trudged up the stairs, already hearing the bathroom door slam. Lily rattled at the doorknob, but it was locked. `Come on, talk to me.`
`Go away, Lily.` Petunia`s muffled voice sounded on the other side of the door.
`No, I`m not leaving.`
`I don`t want to talk.`
Lily slid down against the door, her legs splaying out on the cream carpet in front of her. `I`m not leaving until you come out, you know.`
It was silent for a while, then there was a click, and the door was wrenched open. Lily toppled back onto the bathroom tiles. Petunia raged out, stepping over Lily.
`Petunia, don`t walk away now.` Lily got off the floor and followed her sister into her room. `I want to know what`s wrong?`
`What`s wrong?` Petunia said, her eyes widening and letting out an odd sort of laugh.
`Yes, I want to know.` Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest.
`What`s wrong!` Petunia repeated. `Gosh, Lily for someone so clever, you sure are very, very dim sometimes, you know?`
`What?` Lily mouth fell open. `What on earth are you going on about?`
`Oh yeah, acting all innocent now. Oh no I`m sure there are much cleverer people in my year. Perfect little special angel Lily.`
Lily`s eyes widened and she clutched her arms tighter over her chest, she hadn`t heard Petunia utter this many words in a while. `Are you cross with me?`
`Yes, I`m cross with you! Wasn`t that sodding obvious?`
`Erm…` Lily faltered, feeling her bottom lip start to tremble.
`Do you have any bloody idea what it`s like to always live in your shadow?`
`Petunia, I-` Lily started.
`No, let me finish.` Petunia pointed a finger at her. `You see, to our parents you are this special perfect golden child that can do no wrong. Always polite, always nice, always getting good marks, never getting into trouble or causing trouble. You are this perfect daughter. While I, on the other hand, am this horrible troubled teenager. A sodding failure. You disappear off to that ridiculous hocus of a school for months and then you come back with frogspawn in your pockets and these marvellous tales of your adventures with your foolish freak friends. And all the while our parents are all: Lily this and Lily that, and oh how wonderful is our dear Lily.` Petunia raged, waving her spindly arms, the blue vein in her forehead popping dangerously.
`I don`t come home with frogspawn in my pockets!` Lily could feel her face get red hot.
`You`re not getting the point! You see, you can do no wrong. I will never compete with you, you`re perfect and you`ve been perfect the minute you got that bloody letter to that crockpot school. But I see what you really are, and that is a freak!` her sister hissed.
`I am not a freak!` Lily replied defiantly, tears burning in her eyes that threatened to come down.
`And those marks? What do you learn there any way? Fucking magic tricks and waving your silly little wand, running around a bloody castle? You`re absolutely delusional, Lily!`
`You`re just jealous!`
`HA, jealous! Of you? Never, I would never want to be like you.`
`I know you wrote to Professor Dumbledore!`
`That-` Petunia looked like she`d been slapped. `That was a mistake. You were never supposed to find out.`
`You`re being mean.`
`God, you`re such a child!`
`Maybe mum and dad would pay you more attention if you started doing your best for them to like you. You aren`t particularly nice to them.` Lily replied bitingly, though immediately regretting it.
`I do my best. God, I do my fucking best. But nothing is ever enough for them. They hate me.`
`They don`t hate you.`
`Yes they do. You know, the minute I turn eighteen, I`m moving the fuck out. I`m going to London - already got my eye on a typing course there. I`m leaving this hellhole and you better believe I`m not coming back.`
`You don`t mean that. I don`t believe you.` Tears were streaking down Lily`s face now.
`Well you better start believing.` Petunia said, her voice turning colder. `Wouldn`t be too hard for you, now would it? Now, get out of my room.`
`Nothing I`d want more.` Lily hissed back and stomped out, slamming the door forcefully behind her.
She returned to her own room, violently crying, fearing that whatever string there still might have been between her and her sister had now completely been severed, torn to shreds, bleeding out.
***
Thursday December 26th 1974
`There`s too much bleeding wind!` Marlene called over to Danny, both high above the muddy lawn on their brooms, robes billowing.
`What?` her brother hollered back, barely raising his voice above the roaring of the sea wind.
`Too much blithering wind!`
`Ye need to lean into yer broom more!`
Marlene shook her head, shivering in the cold, the damp salty air sticking to her skin. Flying in the cold was one thing, but a violent wind that cut through your clothes like knives was something completely else. The old quidditch hoops from their previous home had been set up in their new backyard, only half obscured by the thatched roof as seen from the road, firmly rooted in the soil between the gardening beds.
Circling down slowly, Marlene descended towards the grass, Danny following suit, the wind pulling at them violently, willing them to stay up in the air. It was still early in the morning, the sun barely above the horizon, the sea down at the cliffs turbulent, foaming white peaks on high waves.
`Sorry,` Marlene heaved, leaning forward, putting her hands on her knees. `Need a break.`
`That sea wind can be fecking brutal.` Danny shrugged. `Yer doing fine.`
`I should be doing better.` Marlene replied annoyed, still catching her breath. `A little wind shouldn`t knock me down.`
`Didn`t Gryffindor win the last match?`
Marlene nodded, straightening up, rubbing her sore back.
`Well, then. What yer whinging about?`
Picking her bat off the ground, Marlene kicked against a pebble on the grass, watching it bounce away. They had won, that was true. But the next match would be played against Slytherin and they were a far stronger team than Ravenclaw. Regulus Black was a terrific seeker; agile and small. Besides, there was the whole political element of it all, which made it all the more important for them to win.
`How`s Black proving to be as a partner?` Danny asked, fastening the buckles on his boots.
`Aye, pretty alright, actually.` Marlene nodded. Sirius had truly surprised her in the way that he was able to work as a team. Especially after they`d cleared the air a wee bit.
`Really?`
`Aye.` Marlene nodded. `He`s actually kind of nice.`
`Nice?` Danny laughed booming. `Now yer fecking with me. Though ye hated him?`
`I do. I did.` Marlene shrugged. In all fairness, she had been rather vocal about her detestation of Sirius. `He`s alright. Bastard stopped bossing me around at least. Still a wee bit of a snob and a show-off. But…he`s a good quidditch player.`
Danny slapped her back laughing. `Look at ye, all grown up. Admitting that yer rival is a good player.`
`Piss off.` Marlene shoved her brother. `Never said he was my rival. Just a massive tosser.`
`Och, I think ye said a wee bit more that that.`
Their family owl swooped in overhead, carrying the Daily Prophet, hooting loudly, flying in through the window that was opened by their mother, just in time before it collided with the glass. A holly wreath decorated the backdoor, and long white candles were perched in the windowsills. Her mother had already started to collect wood for the fire they would light on Hogmanay; it lay in a heaping pile on the patio, getting soaked by the rain. Hollyhock house felt oddly small in comparison to their previous home, tame in its demeanour. Marlene still didn`t feel like it was actually her home. Which wasn`t strange, seeing as she had barely spent any time there at all. It irked her.
They didn`t mount their brooms again, but decided to toss a quaffle back and forth, testing their reflexes. However, not much later, the backdoor flew open and their mother appeared, her robes fluttering around her in the strong wind, the newspaper clutched in her hand.
`I need ye to come in right now!` she called over to them. Their stepdad appeared behind her in the doorway, still in his pyjamas, greying hair standing on edge.
Danny and Marlene exchanged one look and both knew that something must have happened; something bad. Not caring that they left their brooms out on the lawn, they sprinted inside, heads bend against the wind and drizzle of rain.
When they entered the kitchen, their stepdad was sitting at the table, already pouring himself a drink, chugging it back. Their mother was pacing back and forth, her brow knitted together and her trembling hands clutching at the newspaper.
`What`s going on?` Danny demanded, squaring his shoulders as Marlene hung back next to him, biting her nails. `Ma, what`s going on?`
`Another attack.` their stepdad said grimly, pouring himself another glass, slumping back in his seat.
`An attack?` Marlene said alarmed. Don`t be Lily, don`t be Mary, don`t be any of my friends; she begged. Her heart started to beat wildly.
`Yer mam is being hysterical about it.`
`Don`t talk about her like that.` Danny bit at him.
`Och, what yer aff tae fella?` he replied, his eyes already bloodshot.
`Leave it.` their mother pressed, addressing both men.
`But, an attack?` Marlene repeated, eyeing the newspaper, tearing at a loose strip of skin next to her nail.
`See for yerself.` her mother handed the Daily Prophet to Marlene, Danny came to stand behind her, reading along over her shoulder.
Marlene took a sharp intake of breath when she saw the photograph accompanying the article on the frontpage; a man and a woman, both smiling widely and holding onto the hands of two small children that couldn`t be above the age of ten. The Frasers were a family from Newcastle, both parents were muggleborn, the children had not yet been old enough to start attending Hogwarts, but had already started to exhibit signs of magic. All four of them had been found dead in their home on Christmas day.
The second photograph however, sent chills up and down Marlene`s back, gooseflesh marking her arms. Whoever had done it, had left a mark above the house; a green morbid skull with a snake coiling out of its mouth, menacing and ominous. It was the first time that Marlene ever set eyes the Dark Mark, it would be a symbol that she`d fear for the rest of her life, until the very end.
`Mr Fraser was a healer at St Mungo`s,` her mother said, her eyes red rimmed. `We crossed paths a couple of times. He was advocating for the implementation of muggle healing. Very clever feller, extremely compassionate.`
`They think that`s what did `em in.` her stepdad spoke up, hoisting himself upright in his chair. `The muggle stuff.`
`But surely they wouldn`t commit murder for that?` Danny replied, frowning.
At the word murder, Marlene swallowed hard and forceful, willing herself not to cry.
Their stepdad shrugged and rose, advancing towards the cupboards and pulling out another bottle, appearing strangely calm. Either he wasn`t all that shaken by the news, or he had dulled himself enough to hide his distress.
Staring at the newspaper in her hands, Marlene scanned over the article again, her stomach turning sour to the point that she thought she might boke. The Dark Mark flickered off the page, making her eyes hurt. Flipping through to the next page she scanned the bold headlines, almost all of them concerned the war, politics or the ministry.
All four of their heads shot up startled when there was a knocking at the window and another owl sat in the windowsill, its feathers puffed up.
`That`s Lily`s owl!` Marlene exhaled relieved and let the bird in, it softly nibbling on her hand as she untied the scroll from its claw. It contained two notes, one for her, one for Mary. Though, still neat, Lily`s handwriting seemed rushed and the top bit had been slightly smudged, as if she`d been crying.
Marlene,
I just received the Prophet; saw about the attack. I am absolutely shaken, it is horrid.
All is good here. Please let me know you are too.
Love,
Lily
P.S. Can you sent the owl on its way to Mary? I included a note for her too.
Marlene did sent the owl on its way again, throwing it out into the storm, but not before carefully tearing out the page with the article and stowing it into an envelope along with Lily`s note. The large yellow-eyed bird flew into the wind, bracing itself against the elements.
///