Greta
They are training when it happens. Anna twists her ankle.. The doctor says that she can’t play for a month at least.
“Fuck”, Lupe curses.
“We need a catcher”, Max says.
Max is right. They need a catcher to fill Ana’s place. Actually they definitely need a catcher, because that’s not Ana’s real position and she deserves to play in hers just like the rest of them.
“We need Shaw”, Greta says out loud what no one has dared to say.
Greta has thought about Carson Shaw since the failed tryout. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t stop thinking about the mysterious woman, but there’s something that attracted her to them. Their awkwardness in making simple conversations, their dimples when they smile, their toned arms and legs, their obliviousness to their own talent and sense of security as they play baseball… everything.
“I can’t be the one to ask her”, Max complains.
“Why not? You’re the one who knows her”, Lupe protests.
Is it ironic that the two players that care more about baseball are the ones who don’t dare to talk to the only person they know they can help the team. She can understand where Max is coming, the embarrassment of the connection there is between her uncle and Carson. But Lupe… Well maybe she can understand Lupe too, because she knows the other can be stubborn and it’s hard for him to admit when he was wrong. And Lupe had been wrong in the way he had treated Carson in the practice.
“I’ll go talk to them”, Greta decides, stopping the discussion.
Max gives her the address of the bookstore. The address is in Roscoe. Greta wonders if the other lives in Roscoe, if that is where they were going when they were waiting for the bus the other night. Jess offers to drive her and Greta agrees. His roommate it’s the best. They drive to Roscoe listening to music, singing and laughing.
The bookstore is really nice. Is small, but it’s clean, luminous and everything is accommodated in its place. The shelves are made of wood and smell mixed with new and old books, it’s perfect. Greta can picture Carson working there perfectly, probably submerged in a story until the bell rings and they have to serve a client.
“Hello, what can i help you with”, she must be Gracie, Max’s aunt.
“I’m looking for Carson”
“Oh, they left early today because they give classes at the community center”
“Classes?”
“Of baseball”
Well that’s new. Greta didn’t know that Carson gives baseball classes. For some reason this new information makes her feel worse for the failed practice they had with them. Carson probably thinks they are all judgemental.
“Can you tell me where this center is please?”
“Sure, where did you say you know Carson from?”
Greta respects the woman for asking. Is evident that they don’t want to send someone they don’t know to Carson’s way.
“I’m Greta, I know Carson and Max from the university”
To say Max’s name is a good move. Thankfully Gracie has trusted her enough to give her the community center address. Jess drives them there and decides to stay in the car so they won’t overwhelm Carson. A confrontation in one person was better than with two.
Greta watches Carson teach baseball to a group of kids and falls in love with them. Well, not really fall in love because she loves Dana, but she really likes what she sees. Carson helps the kids with whatever they need and knows how to encourage them and gives them confidence when it’s their time to bat, throw or catch. This is their element and it is actually fucking sexy.
When the class is finally over and she calls for Carson, the woman let fall all the balls fall from the bag. Greta loves that she can make them nervous. She smiles and helps them pick them up again.
Then Greta asks for their help. She can see how they have created a dilemma for Carson. It’s evident that they love baseball and want to help, but they are insecure because of how it has all gone when they had practice together. Greta gives them time to think about it and decides to change the topic.
“Can i cut your hair?”
Greta has been thinking about cutting the other’s hair since the first moment they have met. Surprisingly Carson agrees and takes her to an empty room where they can do it.
Cutting Carson’s hair is an intimate moment, because she can feel everything Carson it’s going through with every little contact they have. Interesting, that’s not very straight of her. Greta does everything more slowly and gentle to try to figure the other out. She can feel the tension, but isn’t sure if it’s for the closeness or because they are just nervous about their hair. They will have to keep putting them on try.
Maybe Carson likes women but still doesn’t know about it? Maybe they do know but it’s still in the closet? Maybe they like women as much as they like men? Or maybe it’s just that their husband treats her poorly? Men usually don’t know how to treat a woman well in her opinion.
The haircut looks amazing on them. Greta is satisfied with what she has accomplished and it’s happy when Carson reacts well to seeing their new style in the mirror.
“I always wanted to use the hair like this, thank you”, their gratitude it’s so sincere that Greta feels warm inside from making the other feel good about themself.
“Then why didn’t you cut it before?”
“My sister hated when i cut it, so i guess i was used to use it long to please her”
That’s a little shocking. She would like to have a word with Carson’s sister about not putting other women down. Greta may be an only child, but she thinks sisters should help us feel good, that should be a good companionship through life. Like friends, only with the detail you also share blood. But as she keeps learning more family’s experiences from people she knows, she has come to the conclusion not everyone is lucky with the people they are related to by blood. Sometimes it’s more important to have people you have chosen and they have chosen you back to be a family.
A day later comes Carson’s answers. They accept trying to be in the team.
“Close your mouth bird, you're gonna drop slime in your uniform”, Jo teases her as she sits next to her on the bench of the locker room.
“Right”, she closes her mouth and stops looking at Carson. She couldn’t help herself, the other looks so good wearing the baseball uniform of the team. They are so sexy.
“She is married”, Jo reminds her.
“I know”
“Don’t fuck this out, we already make her go one time, let’s not doing it again”, Greta can understand this. Jo is asking for her to put the team first, like they should have done the day of the practice but didn’t. She is the one who convinced Carson to come back, so now she can’t be the one who ruins it.
The game it’s very equal. Greta believes for a moment they can win. Carson adapts flawlessly to the team and they spread their competitive attitude to everyone. But Dove’s decisions put them losing and even if Carson is the only one who doesn’t follow his indication at her bat time and does a full run, they lose. Greta thinks they might have had a chance to win if they would have followed Carson’s lead instead of Dove.
At the after party Greta tries to do something about the attraction she feels toward Carson. She knows maybe she shouldn’t do it, but she can’t help herself. At least she wants to know if the other it’s attracted to her as well.
Her first attempt is to steal Carson’s drink. When Carson’s attention it’s entirely focused on her, she takes a lemon from the drink and bites it. The look that Carson gives her makes her whole body shiver. There’s chemistry between them. She gives their drink back and goes to dance with Jo.
While she dances with Jo she can feel Carson staring at her from afar. Their stare burns her and makes her feel powerful. To have the effect of enchanting someone it’s always rewarding.
Greta tries to ignore it, she really tries. But the drinks keep coming and Carson’s stare never totally leaves her. She tries to contain herself, until she can’t anymore.
“I need to talk to you about something”, Greta tells Carson.
“Okay”
“We need a more private place for it”
She takes their hand and guides her through the bar, until they get to the deposit. This is it. She is going to kiss them and figure out if they like women or not.
Greta takes Carson’s face in her hands and kisses them softly. She puts herself against the wall, so Carson doesn’t feel trapped. If they want to stop the kiss and just run, they can easily do it in the position they are. But there’s no running, only consent.
She stops the kiss and gives the other a moment to assimilate with what just happened. The way that Carson looks at her it’s one that shows how awestruck they are. They look at her like they just give their the moon in their hands.
How can someone make them feel that after one only little kiss?
Carson takes a step to her and joins their lips in another kiss. They kiss again, but this time is passionate and intense. Carson’s tongue tastes perfect and does some movements that drive her crazy, making her legs feel like jelly.
Carson is into women. There’s not denying that now, not after the way they keep kissing her. But Carson it’s a married woman.
Maybe they could have a fling anyway? Although she doesn’t look like someone who would cheat, perhaps for something new and finding this about themselves they would be willing to do it?
Greta needs to stop thinking. She cuts the kiss and leaves Carson. It’s time for her to go before she can pannick.
What she is not expecting is for Carson to follow her.
“Greta wait”
“I’m sorry checkadee, but i have to go”
“You can’t go, we need to talk about this”
Carson it’s frustrated and confused. Greta should feel bad about it, but she can’t deal with this right now. Carson has a husband and she has a girlfriend even though they have an open relationship. It’s better to let things go… at least for now… until they can figure out what they feel about the other…
“No we don’t”
“Greta”
“My girlfriend is waiting for me, bye”
And it’s true. Dana it’s waiting for her with another woman.
Once they are in Dana’s apartment Greta realizes that she was so distracted when they left Dorothy’s that she doesn't’ know what they are doing, nor why they have a guess with them.
“Who is she? What is she doing with us?” Greta asks Dana, when Eleanor excuses herself to go to the bathroom.
“It’s our threesome”, Dana answers, like they should already know about it.
“What?!”
“Come on, it will be fun, we said we should try new things so we don’t get bored of each other like the other time”
Bored of each other? Ouch, that fucking hurt. It’s Dana being serious? Greta never got bored of her. She can’t believe that’s the reason why Dana left her and she is choosing this moment to tell her.
“I don’t think i feel comfortable with this. You can do threesomes without me, but i don’t want…”
“If you don’t want to do this with me, then this is our end”
And Greta doesn’t want that to be their end. Maybe it is not right or not fair to herself, but she chooses Dana. She convinces herself that it’s going to be okay, that they can have fun… she had threesomes before, she can do it with Dana as well, no matter how much it hurts and how much it feels like she is never going to be good enough for her.
Eleanor is pretty and sweet. That helps, at least a little.
But Greta doesn’t enjoy it. She doesn’t want to have threesomes with her girlfriend, she wants Dana to want only her, to make her feel special, to choose her…
Greta can’t sleep, so she goes back to the team’s house. When she finally makes it to her own bed the sun is starting to rise. She needs to find something to take her mind out of Dana, something to distract her and let her relax enough to sleep.
Surprisingly she ends up thinking about Carson and her stupid dimples when they smile. And then, she sleeps…