Chapter 1
Unrequited love. Such a cruel and unfamiliar thing, a concept that contradicts to the happy world of cartoons and toons, contradicts to the world that they supposedly were to suppose to inhabit and embody.
Shelly Fossilian was hardly educated of the concept of "love", the only knowledge would be from what her toon handler had taught her about; be it friendship, family, and things that were beyond that.
Never love. She was hardly prepared when she found herself—longing, aching, needing someone. That someone happened to be Vee. Shelly knew she had no shot, she was practically in another level despite being a main character toon herself that grew up with the tv host. Vee was a star, a gleaming star that lit the room she entered, that made eyes turn and draw immediately to her bright presence, and in every sense— wonderful and extraordinary.
And Shelly? She hardly was much. The ammomite was particularly... Not so much more of a star than she should be, by her credit. Ignored, forgotten and almost neglected, she hardly deserved to be at the same place, the same air and the same ground that Vee stood in. It was unforgivable.
Shelly didn't know what feelings came over her. She always admired Vee. It was obvious really. And yet she never knew she'd find this admiration go so far. Even go so long as months. She craved and longed for Vee's embrace, her attention, her air, and her everything.
She wanted to be the very thing Vee would center herself into, to be the one Vee orbits to, to have her world shift around or with her. It was maddening and certainly absolutely impossible. She was lost. Shelly for all her life with speaking and rambling of dinosaurs could never find the words to describe these feelings. Let alone comprehend it at all.
It was hardly any easy to just bury it either.
The feeling was paramount in ways that consumed her mind. The way her breath would choke ever so slightly the moment Vee opens her mouth, the way her hands twitched the moment Vee held her mic and the way her charisma is felt across the room the moment showtime was on?
For months, she had been pining for Vee, the object of her affections in maybe not so subtle ways.
She tried approaching her, always making sure to capture her attention with the usual dinosaur facts.
Vee knew every fact, of course. It did sadden her, but of course for crying out loud, Vee was a robot. But still it was better knowing Vee's attention was grabbed and she even responded. That was enough for Shelly.
Even if Vee gave the bare minimum, a scrap of her affection, it was enough.
Or so Shelly had hoped. This feeling was utterly and completely insatiable. Every instinct of hers screamed to just claim Vee, to make her hers, to be in her presence always, to consume Vee until she felt her as the very air of her lunges, the warmth (or cold) of her flesh, the thing that kept her sated and satisfied even without three meals.
It nagged her in every sense, in every way.
She sighed as she looked at her hands. It trembled slightly. Shelly Fossilian, what is with you these days? She thought to herself, silently berating herself.
"Shelly?" she looked up, finding the tissue-box toon staring at her with a face of concern. "Are you okay?" Her tone was filled with concen and a hint of pity.
Her heart clenched slightly at the notion of being pitied. Let alone by Tisha
"Oh.. Im okay. Thanks for asking, Tisha." Her tone could only muster half-baked sincerity and assurance, she cursed her mental capacity nowadays..
Tishas brown furrowed, she could tell that the toon didn't buy her excuse in the slightest. Shelly had to curse her observant nature in that regard.
"Shelly..." the awe and worry on her voice made Shelly feel sick slightly. How many times had she made Tisha worry already? The thought of it made her nauseous. A pit formed deep in her stomach, an ache that never left her as it filled with guilt and self loathing.
"Really, Tisha, it's fine... You don't have to worry" Shelly states, giving her a smile— using most of her remaining energy onto that one smile. It seemed sincere enough and yet it never made Tishas worries go away. Nontheless, Shelly could tell that Tishas reservations slightly weakened as she nodded, gently holding Shelly's hand.
"You know you can just tell me if anythings wrong, right?" Tisha says, it almost sounded like a plead, a plead for her to say it all. It was tempting but it filled Shelly with bone-deep dread to tell Shelly all about it. About these... Feelings. Besides, hadnt had Tisha have her own weight too nowadays?
Shelly only nodded, "Okay. I promise." that was a lie, of course. But, Tisha, satisfied but still filled with worry, slowly let's go of her hand.
"I—I'll be just at the rooms, and if you need me, you know where to find me." Tisha states before turning to her back and walking away.
Leaving Shelly alone to herself at the lobby of Gardenview. She sighs, the chatters of the surrounding toons turning to pale white noise in her ears. She slowly made her way to Shelly's dedicated section, a floor dedicated to her entire character.
Shelly sat on one of the couches in the complex big room that was her floor, tracing her fingers on the cushions absently. Where should she go from this point on?
She didn't know the answer. She was left in blanks and slates. Unable to find a solution and unable to process and figure it out.
The Gardenview toons decided to gather oncemore for the usual hangout activities. After Gardenview closed, Dandy opted for these activities in hopes of keeping the toons still united as a community through their shared struggles and endeavors.
Of course, some toons didn't come for tonight — Shrimpo and Rodger for instance.
As Shelly entered the hallways where the toons gathered. Her heart ached seeing the one person she had been having such complicated thoughts for — Vee. The neon-green toon remained oblivious to the messy and traitorous thoughts that ensnared her mind as she proudly talked of her show to Astro, another fellow main toon of theirs.
Shelly's hands slightly twitch. It was silly, really. Astro was a good toon even if he is slightly distant with the other toons even with the main character toons. It was unfair, selfish even to harbor a hint of resentment towards someone who didn't even do anything wrong.
She didn't hold any grudges to Astro, she really didn't. But she envied how Astro was able to capture Vee's attention so effortlessly, so perfectly, so completely. It was unfair to hold these thoughts towards the toon just because he had captured the attention of someone she so happened to be pining for. It made her feel even more worse than before.
She shakes her head, I should try enjoying today's hangout session...Maybe she should stop over thinking about it. Maybe she'll enjoy today without having those unforgivable and forbidden thoughts messing today up.
Seeing Astro left, she took the opportunity to greet the robot — she immediately gave her best smile as she approached her. Her heart pounded with nervewracking intensity and nervousness, nontheless, she still continues.
"Hey, Vee! Wanna hear some dinosaur facts?" She knew the reply that would come out Vee's visors.
"I know all of them." Vee replied, Shelly heard this response many times before. It never failed to sadden her a bit, still though, she slightly almost melted on the fact Vee has her attention on her now even if for a little of her time.
"Oh, I see...." Shelly remained to keep her grin even as her hope slightly dwindled. She didn't know how long she had played this route, had repeated these decisions and how long she had pined and received the same result.
Now that she realized it. How long will she continue to the point where she can't contain these feelings anymore? The thought terrified her more than she thought it did.
"Uh, Fossilian?" Vee's words snapped her back to reality. She realized how awkward it must be to just stand there, lost in thought while having the person who was in said thought just stand there in silence.
"Oh, sorry, Vee! I just had something in my mind." She brushed it off before turning, "Anyways, have a good evening!" she bolted.
Vee just watched from behind, Probably looking at me like im crazy.
She could feel the gazes of the other toons bore on her back as she sprinted across the halls before slowing down as her energy and strength weakened.
She arrived at her room, opening the door before closing it shut as she tiredly slumped down against the wooden frame. What's gotten over her today? The beige toon didn't know the answer.
She watched as her hands tremble oncemore.
Ah. This is really getting old and pathetic, huh? She thought to herself bitterly, a self deprecating smile reaching her face.
This is so unbecoming of a main character. She could practically hear her toon handler saying that (Although shed probably not say that and just assure Shelly).
The ammonite reached her hands up, her hands dragged lightly down her shell as she buried her head on her knees. The dress slightly ruffling from the strain.
She was lost. Truly and completely. She couldn't even process, formulate and comprehend a thought, not even a single one. Her mind was completely blank and filled with riddles that she could barely understand and grasp. Her breaths were short and shaking, barely able to catch a breath. Her chest heaved with each labored and intense breath as sweat trickled down her flesh, making her seem even more so ruined than she had preferred, but befitting of her current state.
She hardly was okay. The amounts of self loathing, disgust and deep-abiding dread overlapped any other feelings that may have crept up her mind. It felt like bugs under her skin, crawling and nerve rattling with each passing minute— hardly ideal nor favorable.
Shelly was supposed to be with the others right now. Enjoying herself and still full of positivity. Not be in her room, sulking and filled to the brim with negativity that it negated any feeling of self confidence and love she felt for herself. This isnt whose she's supposed to be, isn't it?
She's Shelly Fossilian. The dinosaur-loving main character toon whose positivity is as infectious and big as her love for her interest for dinosaurs.
She's not supposed to be like this at all. She shouldn't be trembling with so much emotion, shouldn't be over thinking like this, and shouldn't be so overwhelmed by feelings. Feelings for Vee. Feelings that should never had existed. That shouldve never happened, and feelings that were forbidden. It was incomprehensible.
She knew her love wasn't requited. For months she had hoped, but now, her hope that maybe Vee would feel the same had dwindled. She was a robot, she probably wouldn't feel the same, it wasn't in her program. Not just that, Vee was someone else. She deserved someone that was in her orbit, someone that could match her energy, and someone that deserved her.
That's what broke her.
Her love couldn't truly never be requited. Not only was she undeserving of her. She also was a failure. A failure of a main character. A failure of a toon. Anything.
She isn't like this. She shouldn't be.
Her hands clenched around the shell of her head, hard enough that her fingers started to hurt. She could've swore the shell would break from how much pressure she applied from her grip.
Why am I so pathetic? Shelly traitorously let a tear trickle down her cheek, one after another even as she silently screamed to protest these messy feelings. Oh, Lord, if there's any Lord there.... Please... Help me.
The ammonite spent the rest of the evening sobbing and slumped against the door of her room. Sobbed until her restlessness finally caved in the way to exhaustion and to deep slumber, a temporary reprieve.