Sirius Black
While the Azkaban was even worse than the rumours made it to be, in the honest to goodness opinion of Sirius Black the incessant wailing of his realtives was far worse than anything else.
He curses whichever idiot decided that he would enjoy being in the same cellblock as them. For not only does he have to listen to their bloodpurist rot all day, but also their continuous stream of insults about him. So he did like when he was still living with them: ignore them until they shut up.
That was until he heard the door leading to their cellblock and prepared himself to deal with the dementors. Which meant he simply laid down onto his bed so he won't hit his head when they were done with him. That was a painful lesson to learn.
But contrary to his expectations the dementors didn't come. And instead of the scream of his arsehole father, as his cell was after his father's, he heard an elated shout from him.
"Father!" Which had him up on his feet and next to the bars of his cell right away.
And indeed. There, in the middle of the corridor, stood Arcturus Black in the flesh. He was in flowing black and silver robes, adorned with so much jewelry and magic item that a normal wizard could work all his life and never have enough money to own any of them.
He was accompanied by four guards and walked ahead of them with quick strides. When he reached Orion's cell he looked at his son, sent a stinging jinx at him and continued his walk ignoring him entirely. Then came to a stop in front of Sirius's cell, and turned back towards the guards.
"Hurry up! We have better places to be!" And to accentuate his words he slammed down his cane, which shook the whole cellblock. There is a reason why the old goat is considered the third strongest wizard of the isles after Dumbledore and You-Know-Who, after all.
The guards on their part have indeed hurried up and were besides his grandfather in a heartbeat. And then they did something that he didn't think possible.
They opened his cell door and motioned him to get out.
"Well? What are you waiting for? Get out!" His grandfather's irritated voice broke him out of his stupor and he scrambled to get out.
Once he did Arcturus grabbed his arm, turned around and made his way towards the exit.
"Listen here, you little piece of shit." He began."We are going to Diagon where you will get cleaned up, and new robes. Then we are going to the ministry and have your name cleaned. AND you are going to be on your best behaviour or Lady Magic helps me, I am going to spank you in the middle of the ministry! Capeesh?!"
"Yes, grandpa." He answered, a little miffed.
Never in his life would he have thought that the old goat would help him get out of jail instead of his other relatives. Well, it just shows how little does he actually knows about his grandfather. And then they spent the next hour at Diagon, where he got a bath, new clothes and a haircut before they went and picked up his team of lawyers, all six of them, and then off to the ministry they were.
His grandfather didn't talk to him, outside of giving him instructions. His real scolding would probably start when they are back home. Something which he isn't looking forward to one bit. While he was thinking about what kind of punishement would the old man dish out, his trial already started and the the next thing he knew was that he was asked to sit and drink veritaserum.
Being under the effect of said potion was always and experience. It's like when they tried the weed Frank sneakily grew in the greenhouses. Although that is a poor comparison, for while they both make you think everything is a good idea, veritaserum literally urges you to answere any and all question truthfully.
And that is what he did. Told them all about how he is Harry's godfather, the fidelius charm, the switch with Peter, their animagi form and how he arrived just befor Hagrid before he went after Wormtail. And then the effects ended and they were led out until a verdict is made.
As expected, they found me innocent and also awarded me Harry's guardianship and I will be able to pick him up in a few days. After all the paperwork was done, of course.
Then we went through the ministry floo. And when we exited it the first thing I noticed was my brother and Kreacher playing with a baby. But when we arrived they paused and Kreacher picked up the girl and brought her away.
"Hello Reg! How ha-" And that's as far as I got before my little brother reached me and punched me. It was a good punch in all honesty, it broke my nose after all.
"Don't "Hello Reg!' me, you shaggy haired jelly slug!" Regulus shouted as he stood above me, while grandpa fixed my nose."Do you know how worried I was?! Or how many times did my heart nearly stop when the Prophet wrote about you!? You, you, you bastard!" He finished his tirade with a few stinging jinxes.
"That said, I am happy that you are well and out of Azkaban." He added as he helped me up.
"Me too, Reg, me too." I said as I hugged him."Although I am mad at you too! Why didn't you tell me you had a kid!?!? I thought you and Barty wanted to wait for a while with it?" I couldn't help but tease him a little.
"Oh, her? She isn't my daughter. And we indeed want to wait with having a child for a while. At least until Barty finishes his Mastery in transfiguration." My brother answered with mischief in his eyes.
"It's all well and good that you two are reconnecting, but Sirius and I need to have a chat." Grandpa said as he took my arm and dragged me towards his study.
3 hours later
Never in my life thought it possible for someone to out screech my mother, but grandpa managed the impossible. That honestly was worse than the dozens of stinging hexes he sent at me. Although at least he didn't punish me like father did.
You see, grandpa forbid my parents and our cousin's parents from magically punishing us under the threat of being disowned if they did. Instead the bastards were overly fond of the cane and other similar instruments.
"Aaah, that felt good. I can feel the stress leaving my body." The old goat said as he motioned me to sit in the chair across his."Remember what did I told you about participating in the war?"
"That you will strip me of my Heir status, if I do?" I asked and sucked in a cold breath as I pulled at one of the bruises the hexes left.
"Indeed." He answered and extended his open palm towards me.
I obediently took of my Heir Ring and gave it back to him. He then cast a few spells on it and I felt my connection to it being severed. Not that it matters too much, I never really wanted to be the next Lord Black.
"Now that is taken care of." Grandpa said as he pocketed the ring."Swear it on your life that what I say will not leave this room."
I did and he then told me a very tall tale that I believed only because I could see my parents doing something like that. Although I was also fairly excited at the prospect of having a little sister.
"Oh, I nearly forgot to tell you, but she will be the new Heir." He dropped this bombshell of a news just when we were leaving the study.
"Why not Reg? Or Bellatrix?" I asked curiously.
"Regulus wants to do nothing with the Lordship, and he will also marry Barty sometimes next year. Or so he said. And he plans to take on Barty's surname, thus becoming ineligible for the Lordship." He explained.
I nodded at that. The Lord of the House of Black always need to have the Black surname. An idiotic rule, but it has been in effect even before Hogwarts was established, so it is here to stay.
"As for Bellatrix." He continued."Well, she is Bellatrix." He finished with a deadpan expression.
"Yeah, she would rather marry a house-elf than to deal with idiots for the rest of her life." I conceded.
He just nodded at that. Not long later we reached my sister's room, where we spent the time until dinner playing with her.