Ochako has heard a great many of Todoroki’s theories. From parallel universes to aliens and ghosts, she’s practically heard it all. After attending the fifth Conspiracy Theory Club meeting (topic of discussion at that time: is Shinsou Aizawa’s secret lovechild?), she didn’t think that anything can surprise her anymore. Nothing can faze the enlightened Ochako.
After all, what can be more shock-inducing than the revelation that Iida is a robot (second CTC meeting topic) or the probability that Yaoyorozu can create another moon/sun/planet if she eats enough (fourth CTC meeting topic)? All club members avoided Yaoyorozu for a good week after that, realizing that if she is truly pissed off at them, she can just casually create a bomb and blow them all to smithereens.
How can anything be weirder than Todoroki and his theories? Todoroki Shouto, at least, is a quirky kid, though the rest of his family seems to be no different. Meet the Todorokis: we have a slightly deranged bacon-resembling villain (?) who’s better at dancing than his hero boyfriend, an elementary school teacher scary enough to control the Number Five hero with a glare, a college student who knows nine hundred and seventy-five different ways to insult Endeavor and the great social-skills-lacking common-sense-deficient conspiracy theorist himself. Not to forget the mom who didn’t even flinch at the massive info dump consisting of everything stated above and a hero obsessed with his flaming beard and yelling “SHOUTOOOO!”
And she hasn’t even started on the honorary Todorokis.
How can anything in the world compare to the weirdness that is the Todoroki family?
But of course, since the universe is a massive troll who throws all of her plans into a ditch, Ochako is now experiencing a whole ‘nother level of weird. AKA: staring at the villain Spinner’s heartbroken face while trying to explain why she doesn’t want to kiss him.
It all started with an innocuous hero-themed store and a cheap Toga knockoff:
Ochako was at the store to buy a limited edition All Might figurine for Deku when a creepy voice whispered from behind, “Aren’t you the cute one? The one targeted by my goddess and love?”
Let it be known that ghosts cannot faze Ochako at all—turns out they are no longer scary once you spend five hours debating their existence with someone who speaks in a dull monotonic voice. So Ochako, like the brave hero she was, turned around in a ready battle stance…
…and saw a normal human being with a creepy Toga-like grin. Can she really be considered normal with such a grin?
“I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you! I wonder how your blood tastes like. It must be sweet if Toga-chan likes you,” the Toga knockoff purred and leaped at her with a shiny dagger. Grabbing her hand and roughly twisting her wrist, Ochako hissed and shoved her down onto the floor. “Gunhead Martial Arts!”
“Ooh, you look so cute from below. Too bad you’re not as skilled as you think~”
The knife dropped from the girl’s hands and Ochako pinned her down, refusing to let her confidence be affected by her words. Unperturbed, the Toga knockoff only smirked as she whipped out another dagger from her coat and stabbed her thighs before cartwheeling into the storage room behind her. Gritting her teeth, Ochako was soon hot on her heels and skidded to a stop inside the dark and dusty room. It was eerily silent as Ochako crept around warily in search of the dagger-wielder, wondering: Where is she?
Blood trickled down Ochako’s legs, but she couldn’t take care of it before finding the dangerous girl. Making sure no one else was a victim was a hero’s priority, after all.
Another voice hissed by her ear, “Why are you here?”
See, Ochako wouldn’t be alarmed if it was just another Toga knockoff, but when she whipped her head around that time, she found herself face-to-face with the one and only Shigaraki Tomura.
Like any good hero, she screamed, jumped back, and got ready to practice Gunhead Martial Arts again. But the Toga knockoff beat her to the punch and stabbed the mall-goer in the thighs (what’s with her and her weird obsession with thighs?) with a knife. She leaped onto the boxes behind her before drinking the blood on both Dagger the Second and her razor-sharp knife with a sadistic grin.
“Your blood is so sweet! Your blood is also sweet! Sorry that my quirk would activate when I—”
Ochako didn’t even get the chance to hear her finish speaking before her vision grew blurry and faded into an inky blackness.
When Ochako’s eyes blinked open, she was in an oversized black hoodie. Messy light blue curls cascaded around her less-round-than-usual cheeks. She stared at the wall mirror in front of her.
Shigaraki’s crimson eyes stared back.
The League of Villains’ new hideout is surprisingly tiny. It’s even smaller than Ochako’s living room, and that’s seriously saying something, considering that she grew up in poverty. With mild curiosity, she reached out to a gaming console because she didn’t have the luxury of owning one growing up, and—
—promptly dusts it. The sad-looking dust settles onto the dirty ground beside her feet, almost as though it’s mocking her.
Being Shigaraki Tomura is so hard.
Spinner gapes at the dust and shifts his wounded expression towards her again. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did, Tomura. I get it. You don’t have to dust my console to make a statement.”
Ochako resists the urge to facepalm. She understands why he might’ve come to that conclusion, but it’s horribly wrong. No, she’s not mad at Spinner. She’s mad at the girl that Todoroki will think is Toga’s secret twin. “No, Spinner, I don’t—”
“You haven’t called me Spinner in a long time,” Spinner says quietly, looking very much like an abandoned puppy with the sorrowful look on his face. It makes her heart break a little. “Not since the day we talked about Dabi and Hawks.”
“Dabi and Hawks?”
Right. Dabi is Todoroki Touya and is dating Hawks. It’s so easy to forget that sometimes. But why does Spinner know that? Isn’t it some sort of Todoroki secret?
“Did you get amnesia or something, Shigaraki?” Spinner sounds close to tears now. Ochako reaches for him in an attempt at comfort, but the gecko villain just flinches away. “The night we talked about love!”
Ugly sobs racks his green frame as the villain shakes uncontrollably. He slams the door shut on his way out, and sniffles can be heard even as the sound of Spinner’s footsteps gradually fades. A pang of guilt hits Ochako’s heart. Just how badly did she hurt Spinner? How badly did she hurt his apparent relationship with Shigaraki? How can she fix this without saying something as outrageous as “I got hit with a body swap quirk” and getting labeled an imposter and killed?
Maybe she won’t get killed. Maybe the League is just insane enough to believe her. Quirks are weird, after all.
But even if they do, she’s a hero student. Who knows where their (temporary?) hideout is now. Silencing her now won’t be a terribly bad idea…
In her distress, Ochako doesn’t notice that she dusted the couch until she sees the pile of ashy dust in front of the TV.
The League’s base is quieter than the storage room was before. She clamps down on her nerves before they can act up and tries to look unbothered as a portal pops up. If any of them suspects anything, she’s dead meat, unless it’s only Dabi. Act casual! Think, Ochako, think. How will a supervillain act when his subordinates return?
Pretending that the nothing is amiss and everything in the world is going according to plan, she leans against the wall with a hopefully Shigaraki-like smirk.
“Back already?”
Dabi gives her the middle finger. Ochako briefly wonders if Shigaraki would dust him for insubordination, before realizing that if he did, Dabi would probably be dead ten times over by then.
“Tomura-kun, where are the Endeavor plushies you promised to get? What are we gonna use in the bonfire now?” Toga whines as she hops through the portal after Dabi. A knife swishes past her, missing her head by barely an inch. Ochako freezes. If Toga’s aim was slightly off, her ear would’ve been taken clean off. Dabi doesn’t even blink at his leader’s life being put in peril. Is this, like, a normal thing for Toga to do?
Ochako hates that she thinks it’s cute. No, knife-throwing habits are not cute. C’mon, Uraraka Ochako, you crushed hard on Deku-kun once, remember? Does he throw knives and murder his classmates? No! You also had a crush on Tsuyu-chan before. Does she throw knives and kill people? Also no! So there’s no reason to like Toga, right, Ochako? Right. Glad we agree, self.
Yup, Ochako thinks that Toga is crazy and needs extensive therapy, not cute. Thinking that the teenage villain looks hot is one thing, but admitting that she empathizes with her and likes her charming terrible personality? That’s a big no no. She’s a good, morally upstanding future hero. And good, morally upstanding future heroes do not think that a villain’s crazy homicidal attitude is cute. Or hot. Or attractive in any way.
Hawks is a hero. What about Hawks and Dabi?
Nope, she’s not going to think about them. Dabi’s different—he’s Shouto’s brother! Being a villain is just a side effect of his Todoroki weirdness, and Dabi’s clearly gotten the short end of the stick since his particular brand of Todoroki weirdness has manifested as arson and villainy. But Himiko’s no Todoroki, and Ochako’s excuse just doesn’t hold as much weight as Hawks’ does. One can’t help being born a Todoroki, after all.
Toga also can’t help being born to love blood.
“Oi, what’re you thinking of, huh? Spinner in lingerie?” Dabi snorts, snapping his fingers in Ochako’s face. “Toga’s talking to you right now. Fantasize about your lizard another time.”
“No. We, uh, fought,” Ochako says lamely. Gods, that does not sound like something Shigaraki Tomura will say. It sounds like something a pathetic teenage hero student will say to try to save her skin in front of a crispy arsonist. Toga gasps dramatically before shrieking, “Everyone! We have a code red! CODE RED!”
Mr. Compress bursts into the room, staggering as Twice follows and almost trips over his feet. Kurogiri rushes through the door in a bartender’s suit and asks in the tone of a concerned parent, “What happened, Toga?”
“I was out stealing food when I heard you shriek. Where’s the emergency?” Mr. Compress pants as he rests a palm against the stained walls. Twice sounds like a distressed chicken as he asks frantically, “What’s wrong, Toga? Did Dabi burn down our hideout again? I don’t give a fuck! This is Dabi’s problem, not mine!”
Kurogiri frowns as he glances around the pitifully small living space. “Where is Spinner? He should have been back an hour ago.”
“Exactly!” Toga shrieks as if the world will end in a few hours. “Spin-spin broke up with Tomura-kun. It’s a love emergency!”
“Truly horrible,” Mr. Compress gasps, seemingly content to go along with Toga’s spiel about love. Ochako groans. The last thing she needs is more villains in a place she’s not familiar with and nobody around to assist if everything goes to hell.
“We didn’t break up,” Ochako says tiredly, hoping that she sounds disinterested instead of exasperated. “We just had a minor disagreement. Calm down, Toga.”
“That’s as good as breaking up! The romance expert here can tell you,” Toga insists and gestures to Dabi wildly. “Tell him, Dabsie!”
“Toga’s right,” the arsonist says and Ochako gapes at him. Did he just agree with the blood-loving demon spawn? Does he not have arguments with Hawks at all? “If minor disagreements aren’t resolved, they’ll pile up, and soon you won’t be able to agree on anything at all.”
That’s… surprisingly wise advice coming from a crispy bacon lookalike. Is this why Hawks picked him? His all-encompassing wisdom? “I accidentally dusted his console. He thinks I’m mad at him now.” Ochako gestures randomly at the door as though Spinner is there. If Toga and Dabi are so keen on solving her issues, she might as well enlist their help.
“A classic misunderstanding, then!” Mr. Compress says with a flourish, before beckoning to Twice. “Let’s go find Spinner and talk to him. You two can give dear Shigaraki some love advice!” The magician winks at Toga and Dabi before dragging Twice out of the hideout. Gazing at them from a sooty corner, Kurogiri sighs like an exhausted single parent and says, “Do what you need to do to fix this mess, Tomura. Get Spinner back before we move to find a new hideout again.”
Dabi perks up at that. “Speaking of a new hideout, I got us a really nice place. Legally, too,” he adds, to the astonishment of both Ochako and Toga. The League of Villains’ A-ranked arsonist doing something like this legally? Wow. That’s almost unheard of.
“How?” Ochako asks incredulously, taking note of how raspy her (Shigaraki’s?) voice is. When was the last time Shigaraki drank water? Or does he drink nothing but fizzy drinks and alcohol?
Dabi shrugs in a very Todoroki-like fashion. “Sho was insistent. We have a beautiful beach house in Yokohama now. It has a large deck and balconies and all. Nice view of the sea, too. I hope you all know how to swim.”
Ochako’s brain short-circuits at beach house. “We have a what?”
“Focus, Dabsie! Tomura-kun’s heart is still broken over here,” Toga whines, and Ochako nearly growls at her like a feral animal. Her broke ass wants to hear about the house, dammit! Is it too late to join the League of Villains?
Ochako thinks it’s mildly concerning that she will convert to villainy in a heartbeat if it means getting to live in a large beach house.
“I’ll do it, I’ll do it! Don’t kill Tomura, Hawks!” Spinner’s desperate screams reverberate around the enclosed space. They all exchange a look. What?
“I’m sure Tomura didn’t mean to d— where’s Hawks?” the purple-haired villain leans against the doorframe, huffing and puffing like he just ran a marathon. Mr. Compress shoves him in and slams the door shut. Twice creates two Mr. Compress clones to block the windows, cutting off all possible exit routes. It makes Ochako slightly more unsettled to think about that.
“What did you guys tell him?” Dabi questions flatly, glancing from the breathless gecko to the Mr. Compresses around. Twice replies quickly, “We said that Hawks and Shiggy fought over who’s going to do the dishes tonight and Hawks lost and is threatening to kill Shiggy because Shiggy threatened to kill him if he didn’t do it! No, we told him that Shigaraki’s on his deathbed because of cancer!”
“What,” Dabi says, his voice still as flat as his ass, and his face so closely resembles Todoroki’s that Ochako has to muffle a giggle. He side-eyes Mr. Compress. “You went along with this?”
The masked magician groans exasperatedly. “I wanted to talk to him about the importance of being openly honest about his feelings but Twice already spouted that horrible excuse. Spinner ran here the moment he heard “kill” and “Shiggy”.”
“Why would you think Hawks’ll kill Shigs? He’s the kindest bird we’ve ever met. And even if he did, all he needs is one feather through the chest and Shigs would be dead already,” Dabi scoffs, eyeing Spinner with disdain. Spinner looks vaguely uncomfortable discussing Shigaraki’s death so casually, but Dabi doesn’t seem to care. With a frustrated sigh, Kurogiri adds, “And none of them ever do the dishes.”
“I didn’t think, okay? My body moved before I could think! By the time my logic caught up with me, I was already here,” Spinner huffs defensively, then mutters softly, “Shigs is having a bad day, so he might’ve said stuff he normally wouldn’t. Maybe he struck a raw nerve by saying something too insulting to Hawks…”
“You care about h— me that much?” Ochako blurts out, surprised at the sudden show of vulnerability. Dabi sends her an almost sympathetic look and Toga latches on to her like a koala. Her embrace is warm and cozy and makes her feel safe, and Ochako doesn’t want her to ever let go. Even if she’s still holding a knife.
“Of course I care about you, Tomura,” Spinner’s voice grew melancholic at the end. He closes his eyes and leans in—
“Wait, wait! I, uh, should probably make some things clear first,” Ochako yelps and hops backwards, avoiding the look on Spinner’s face. “Sorry, I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I’m actually not Shigaraki. I got hit with a body swap quirk by a Toga knockoff. I’m Uraraka Ochako, one of the U.A. students you’ve attacked.” Oh no, it was almost definitely a beyond terrible idea to mention that.
The room lapses into an awkward silence. Toga crushes her in another hug and sounds downright giddy when she tilts her head and says, “You’re Ochako-chan?”
“Yeah,” Ochako says, rubbing her sore back. Toga is still looming above her, and it suddenly occurs to her that they are in a very suggestive position. “I’m not lying. I can tell you what you said during the training camp to prove it—”
Soft lips are pressed against hers, and this time, Ochako kisses back.
“Yo.”
All the U.A. brats stare at him as if he has grown a second head. Tomura resists the urge to claw at his neck. He noped out of the storage room after forcing the girl with the blood quirk to tell him how long the body swap bullshit lasts. Only twenty-four hours, she had the gall to say. There’s nothing he can do about it either way, so he figured he’d have some fun in U.A. Maybe even gather some security information.
Spoiler alert: It is not fun at all.
First of all, Hawks is there for some shitty program, there to boost the mini-players’ powers apparently. He’s also more of an annoying piece of shit than usual and keeps telling him to not send the bots to outer space.
“That’s my quirk,” Tomura said, annoyed. “How else am I supposed to get a faster clearing time than the other players?”
“It’s pollution,” Hawks claimed, and Tomura wanted nothing more than to smack his punchable face. “Heroes have to watch out for the environment too.”
“What? Seriously? I’m going to convert to villainy right now,” Tomura complained, touching everything he could see just to piss off Hawks. He ended up heaving over a toilet bowl for an hour after that.
Tomura cracks his knuckles, and the angry blonde kid he tried to kidnap shoots him a suspicious glance. That’s another infuriating thing about U.A. Everyone keeps giving him odd stares and gawking at him whenever he says anything. Is Uraraka normally mute or something? Why do they keep giving him those looks?
And now, he literally just said, “Yo.” Simple, short and casual, but all it earns him is more scrutiny from the wary blonde kid. More than a little ticked off, Tomura finally snaps, “Will you stop staring at me weirdly like Mini-Todoroki does? It’s creepy as fuck. Keep your creep eyes off other players’ models.”
“Are you fucking serious right now, hand-fucker? I’m fucking creepy? You’re the one in a suspiciously realistic Round Face costume!” Bakugou blows up at him, popping off more than a few explosions. Tomura rolls his eyes.
“Costume? This is the real thing. Uraraka’s complete model, not a pixel out of place. This isn’t a shitty skin,” he scoffs disdainfully, glowering at the blonde. Blood red irises meet caramel brown, sharing a burning glare. “How did you find out it was me anyway?” Tomura questions warily.
Bakugou stares at him, slack-jawed. “Are you fucking shitting me right now? You just used a fucking video game euphemism!”
“Katsuki, calm down,” the God of Calm says, tapping his boyfriend on the shoulder soothingly. Tomura never thought he’d say this, but thank god for Todoroki Shouto. “I don’t think that’s Shigaraki. I think Uraraka is possessed by a demon.”
“What the fuck,” Tomura says blankly.
Did he say thank god for Todoroki Shouto? No, not anymore, damn him to hell. Damn them all to hell. Kids are overrated anyway.
Bakugou seems to share his sentiment. “Demons don’t fucking exist, Strawberry Shortcake,” the angry kid snarls. His snarl reminds the villain a little of Dabi whenever someone other than Kurogiri (or Hawks, but that’s because he’s a simp) brings up Endeavor’s name in his presence.
“Yes, they do,” Mini-Todoroki replies immediately. He stares at Tomura with unblinking eyes, which creeps him out a little. Hawks does that too sometimes, but his eyes are usually half-lidded, so he looks more bored than terrifying. But when Mini-Todoroki does it? That’s satanic levels of horror right there.
“Maybe Uraraka is possessed by a Satan spawn,” Shouto says, complete seriousness lacing his tone. Shoutophobia must be contagious, Tomura thinks, as he slowly begins to understand why the Number Two hero is so afraid of the youngest Todoroki. Maybe Shouto is the true Satan spawn there after all.
“You’re up next, Uraraka and Bakugou! Are you chickadees ready?” Tomura glances up to see the Wing Hero’s annoyingly bright smile. “You’re up against the finger-breaker and Kirishima!”
“Fuck off, Hawks,” Tomura mutters, flipping him the bird. Hawks just laughs like the little shit he is. Trudging behind his stupidly large red wings, Tomura clicks open his (well, Uraraka’s) phone. A number that he recognizes as his own texted him.
Burner phone #1
Hey, Shigaraki
If you’re reading this, I have some news to tell you
1 - Dabi bought the LOV a beach house with Endeavor’s credit card
2 - Some guy named Re-Destro just called. Says he wants to kill you
3 - Kurogiri used Endeavor’s credit card to pay for parenting guides (I don’t know why, but I’m beginning to get an idea…)
4 - Himiko bought a cupboard full of valentine’s day chocolates with Endeavor’s credit card, but none of you are allowed to eat it
5 - Spinner bought himself and Himiko new knives with Endeavor’s credit card
6 - Basically, your new beach house is full of new things bought with Endeavor’s credit card
7 - Also, Dabi wants me to tell you to tell Shouto that he had a “gross sibling bonding moment” with Fuyumi and Natsuo and that he should be brooding in a corner with jealousy rn
That’s all
I hope ur doing fine. How’s U.A.?
Ochako
Hawks is here, so UA’s not as fun as it should be
He told me not to send the bots into space
But he also didn’t like me crashing meteors of bots down on Ground Beta
So hard to please dammit
Burner phone #1
Heroes have to keep wanton destruction to a minimum
Oh, and tell Hawks I said hi
Ochako
Hm. Whatever
“Todoroki-kun told me that you’re a demon from hell! Why are you possessing Uraraka? Are you an incubus?” An energetic kid with spiky red hair claps Tomura on the back lightly. Kirishima, his mind supplies helpfully. Bakugou growls at the redhead.
“Tell Icyhot to fuck off.” “Tell Todoroki-kun to fuck off.” The two temperamental brats say at the same time before glaring at each other haughtily. “Don’t fucking copy me.”
“Get ready!” Hawks announces, and Tomura readies his battle stance. One perk of this hero girl’s body is how healthy and strong it is. He’s going to miss being able to swing good punches.
“START!”
Tomura runs to a heavy pile of crates with a slightly psychotic grin. Five fingers make contact, and the crates instantly become helium balloons and flew into the air like they all weigh nothing. His eyes twinkle with mischief as they rise higher and higher...
All five fingers on his hands touch each other. Release.
In Uraraka’s world, everything is a meteor.
“I’ve always wanted a sibling. I thought that maybe a sibling would accept me, and love me for who I am,” Himiko confesses, twirling a knife in her pretty hands. Ochako offers her a reassuring smile as a gesture to continue. “Now, Dabsie fills that role. He even tells me bedtime stories sometimes. Ochako-chan, do you want to hear one?”
“I’d love to.” Ochako kisses her cheek, a bright red blush spreading over both of their faces. Her fast-beating heart doesn’t care that Himiko is a villain. All it cares about is that Himiko is Himiko, and that Himiko is hers.
“Not too long ago, in a forest not too far away, there was a quirky pixie princess… and her name was Himi-chan.”
“Endeavor-san, we noticed that your credit card spendings have drastically increased this week. Your money has been used to buy a vast assortment of items. If you were the one who bought them, then please ignore this call. If not, please check your credit card history immediately…”
Endeavor’s eyes bulge as they take in the outrageous card history he has. Did Shouto buy all these? He desperately wants to shake Shouto till he tells him, but apparently being a good father means letting his children have their freedom, so he cannot pry too deeply into Shouto’s business…
But why does he need so many knives?!
“Himi-chan was labeled a monster for her quirkiness, even by her own parents. Both her mother and father, who were supposed to cherish her, forced her to suppress everything that made her her. Himi-chan put on a friendly facade, pretending to be the girl everyone wants her to be, pretending to be someone she’s not. She felt like she was walking in borrowed robes, and not even her own body felt like home.”
“One day, she snapped. The dam keeping her true self caged broke. Her feelings crashed into her heart in waves of heavy emotion. All her quirkiness manifested into a real monster. The monster killed people. Himi-chan killed people. But Himi-chan didn’t want to kill anybody. All she wanted… was to be loved for who she was.”
“Himiko…”
“That’s why Hawksie is so relatable to me. He knows how it’s like to feel as though not even your own body belongs to you. He’s like a big brother to me, too. Just like Dabsie and Tomura-kun.”
“Though I think Dabsie will be the one doing the shovel talk.”
“Shovel talk?!”