Fall

Odin doesn’t come the next day to allow Loki to bathe. Neither does he come the day after that. A week passes and then two and Loki believes that he has been left to rot.

He sleeps in fits and starts. Whenever he feels himself begin to drift off, his entire body seems to jerk, forcing his eyes to open once again. Every time he closes his eyes he sees Thor. He sees his bright blue eyes, his dazzling smile.

He sees his forehead streaked in blood, tears pouring down his flushed cheeks, his chest heaving as he vows to protect Loki, always, never to let another harm him.

He sees Thor being shackled and chained, the two of them marching side-by-side, flanked by guards, slowly making their way to the throne room to face Odin’s disgust and wrath.

Loki sees too much so it really does not come as a surprise that sleep desperately evades him.

“I wish to bathe.” Loki calls out to the guard standing by the glass walls of his cell.

The guard ignores him, not even turning to indicate that he had heard Loki. Loki growls and pulls at the chains around his wrists, jangling them loudly.

“I wish to bathe!” Loki all but shouts.

The guard slowly looks over his shoulder and shakes his head.

“I have been ordered not to grant any of your requests without liaising with the crowned prince, Thor.”

Loki’s heart soars and he looks at the guard hopefully.

“Thor? Thor is allowed grant my requests?” Loki asks excitedly.

The guard nods.

“Yes sir. The Allfather has slipped into Odissleep.”

Loki laughs loudly and rattles his chains happily.

“Well, then! Go fetch him this instant!”

The guard looks terribly uncertain but he knows that how persistent Loki can be. He glances at the guard to his right who just shrugs.

“Do it.” Loki demands desperately. “Get him now.”

.

“You must never touch Loki like that.” Frigga had warned Thor when he was but a child.

She had walked in on Thor and Loki tracing each other’s mouths with their fingers, their faces but inches away. Their little, pink tongues had flicked out every now and then to lick the others fingers with a giggle.

“He is your younger brother. Loki should not have allowed you to do so.”

Thor had nodded and hung his head in shame. He knew when he was touching Loki that what he was doing was wrong. There had been a feeling in the pit of his stomach, an emotion that Thor had only ever heard stories of. He had thought that he may have been experiencing guilt but he could not have known for sure as he was too ashamed to ask his mother.

“I am sorry.” He said with a heavy heart.

Frigga embraced him warmly and placed the gentlest of kisses atop the crown of his golden head.

“You need not apologise, my beautiful boy. You knew not what you were doing.”

But he had, Thor had realized. He had known the wrongness of their actions and yet he had said not a word.

Because he wanted it. He wanted Loki.

.

Thor awakes with a jolt as he hears the knocking on his door. He sits up slowly and blinks around the room blearily before stumbling out of the bed and making his way to the door. He pulls the heavy, oak panel open and blinks in surprise when he sees one of the prison guards standing before him.

“Your Highness, my apologies for awakening you at this late hour, however, Prince Loki requests that you allow him to bathe. He is becoming quite disruptive.”

Thor feels his heart skip a beat. So far he has managed to avoid dealing with Loki simply by allowing Balder to visit him and report back to Thor how he fares. He knows and understands that Loki is desperate to bathe. He also knows and understands how he will react when they are finally reunited. He glances at the guard uncertainly and wonders what he is thinking. Surely the young guard must have heard of their scandal. He is probably disgusted by Thor like all the others.

“Can it not wait til morn?”

The guard looks uncomfortable as he shrugs.

“Aye. But he seems quite… manic this eve, sire.”

Thor heaves a sigh before nodding.

“So be it. I shall follow you down in a moment. Thank you.”

.

Odin hadn’t always been oblivious to the strange relationship brewing between Thor and Loki. There were times when Frigga would shove it under his nose and beg for him to understand what was going on. One morning she had walked in on Thor straddling Loki, the two of them bucking about in the bed like two untamed colts. Odin had tried to explain to his wife that they were wrestling like brothers do but she had insisted that there had been something more to the scene she had interrupted.

Odin refused to believe it. Thor was only barely hitting his teenage years and Loki was but a child. Yet Frigga had described to Odin what she had walked in on that morning and whilst Odin had not been as disturbed as it by Frigga, believing that they were just boys being boys, Frigga had insisted that Thor was old enough to understand what they were doing.

“I should shackle you for what you have allowed to happen this morn.” Odin had declared, his one eye eyeing Thor sharply.

Thor had bowed his head further, his long hair falling in front of him like two folds of golden silk.

“I can only apologize for what I have done, Father.” Thor had muttered, his cheeks burning.

Odin had sighed loudly, stroking his bead thoughtfully.

“You understand why brother’s do not touch each other in such a manner?” He finally questioned.

Thor had looked up at him with bright eyes that shone like the finest of jewels.

“I only touched him like that because we are brothers!” Thor had declared loudly. “I did not realize that wrestling was strange!”

And Odin believed him because he wanted to, choosing to ignore the fact that Frigga had found a love-bite underneath Loki’s chin.

Thor was his most loved son. He was the warrior, the mighty prince that would one day rule the kingdom with a firm, fair hand.

“You are forgiven.” He decided, placing his hand on Thor’s cheek warmly. “Now run along; Sif and Fandral are waiting for you.”

Thor had beamed up at him brightly before jumping to his feet and racing out of the golden chambers, his feet slapping against the marble tiles as he sped out of the Throne Room. But it wasn’t towards Sif and Fandral that he was racing. Odin knew deep, deep down that Thor was making his way to Loki.

When he thinks back on it now, he realizes that he had always known. There was a part of him that always knew what was going on, he just never wanted to admit it to himself.

.

“Balder? Balder, wake up!” Thor whispers loudly, shaking his sleeping brother.

Balder wakes slowly and stares up at Thor blankly when he sees the anxious face of his older brother hovering over his own.

“You realize that it is the middle of the night?” He croaks as he sits up.

Thor nods.

“Loki is reportedly being disruptive and demanding the right to bathe.” He sighs.

Balder shrugs.

“Refuse it.” He answers simply.

Thor shakes his head.

“No. I want you to accompany me to the prison. I shall grant him his requests but I need you there.”

Balder doesn’t ask why. He knows why his eldest brother, the new King of Asgard, needs him to come with him. Loki is manipulative and Thor loves him because he is a fool. He nods and kicks back the furs of his bed.

“Come along then, let us get this unpleasantness over with.”

.

Loki remembers the nights they would spend together, holed up inside Thor’s chambers, desperately trying to keep quiet as they kissed and explored every inch of other. He can remember biting his tongue so hard it bled in a bid to keep silent as Thor ravished him and lavished him with attention.

“How can this be wrong?” Loki had mused as they lay together afterwards. “How can people tell us that what we are doing is abnormal?”

They had been young then. Young and naïve and hopeful that someone would understand them and accept them.

Thor had shrugged, peppering Loki’s jawline with the sweetest of kisses.

“They are fools.” He had breathed against his skin. “They know not what they speak of.”

Loki had nodded and curled against Thor as tightly as he could, pressing his head against his pair chest.

“If Mother found us…” he sighed.

“She won’t.” Thor promised. “She thinks you are sleeping in your own chambers, as usual.”

They had both laughed at that. Frigga had moved Loki from Thor’s room almost six centuries ago and yet Loki had spent less than half a century in his own bed. He ran one cool hand along Thor’s chest and smiled.

“One day we won’t have to hide. When I am king-” Thor had started but Loki silenced him with a sharp pinch.

“Please, do not start talking about when you are king!” Loki had groaned. “I do not have the patience to listen to any more of your ramblings.”

Thor had smiled down at him fondly and placed a chaste kiss to the crown of his head.

“When I am King, you shall stand alongside me as my equal and the people of Asgard shall accept us for who we are.”

Loki wonders if Thor remembers that promise.