Fall

Thor only falters slightly as they make their way down the cool, dank, stone steps towards the dungeon. Balder is silent and sleepy, his blonde head bent forward slightly as he drags himself through the prison, ignoring the prisoners that tap on the glass desperately, doing everything possible to catch their King’s eye.

“Please, do not tell me that he shares a cell.” Thor pleads quietly as they march past the cells.

Balder snorts and glances over his shoulder at Thor.

“Do you think Father would risk that? Loki would start a mutiny if he had other minds to mould.”

Thor allows himself a small smile that soon vanishes as they near the cell that he knows to be Loki’s. It is by far the largest glass square of them all, placed atop three golden steps. It sits in the middle of the prison and yet it seems to be the darkest cell. There are no candles illuminating Loki’s cell. Thor can barely make out his lithe figure, chained to the ground. He swallows hard and takes a deep steadying breath.

“He has done wrong.” Balder reminds him quickly, realizing that Thor’s resolve was crumbling.

“As have I and yet I am allowed to roam freely.” Thor says softly. “Where is the justice in that?”

“He murdered hundreds of innocents.” Balder growls. “He sent the Nine Realms spiralling into chaos.”

“I have murdered those who deserved life.” Thor argues gently, his eyes never leaving Loki’s cell.

“He slit her throat, Thor! He left her to choke on her own blood. Remember that! Remember the pain he made you feel, the hurt, the betrayal, the-”

“Oh, it must be my lucky day!” A sarcastic drawl interrupts, only slightly muffled by the glass panes. “It is not every day I am granted the presence of both my brothers.”

Thor’s head snaps up so fast it cracks. He marches towards Loki’s cell with purpose and taps on the glass to gain entry to his newly acquired chambers.

“I love what you have done with the place.” He teases, desperately ignoring the dark circles under his brothers eyes, the unkempt hair and the yellowish tinge to his porcelain skin.

Loki smirks and meets Thor’s unwavering gaze willingly.

“I cannot take all the credit; it was like this when I came here.”

Thor cracks his first genuine smile since the day they were dragged home in chains. He goes to sit but Balder quickly pulls at his arm, shaking his head firmly.

“You are here to grant a request and that is all.” He mutters under his breath urgently.

Thor’s heart sinks and he glances at his youngest brother pleadingly.

“I only wish to talk.” He whispers.

“I did not realize Balder was your keeper.” Loki points out with a bright smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

Thor clears his throat and goes to speak but Balder gets there first.

“I am not. I am simply reminding Thor that it is past midnight and that he has other duties to attend to. No other prisoner would be awarded the allowances you have been given.”

Loki rolls his eyes.

“I may be a prisoner but I am also a prince and your brother.” He sniffs. “I thought our shared blood would afford me some more luxuries.”

“You may bathe.” Thor says quickly. “And all of your chains shall be removed.”

“You could just set me free. Or lock yourself in chains.” Loki states bluntly. “You are just as guilty as I am.”

Thor blinks at Loki helplessly, glancing at Balder nervously. Balder steps forward, his large frame towering over Loki’s, who remains chained to the floor.

“His first command cannot be to undo the Allfather’s last. You may bathe and your chains shall be removed but that is where it ends. Understood?”

Loki pulls a face and looks up at Balder with undisguised distaste.

“Even as a child you forgot your place. You are no one, Balder the Brave. You are the third prince of Asgard, remember that. If Thor falls I am the next in throne, not you. I strongly advise that you watch your tongue.”

“You are a prisoner, Loki. And you are a half-breed, do you really think you shall ever sit on the throne of Asgard?” Balder argues with a good-humoured laugh and Loki knows deep in his soul that he hates him.

He hates the way Balder can laugh off his insults and jibes and act as though their cross words are just banter and good fun. He hates the way he has made Thor look at him, his blue eyes wide as he silently pleads with Loki to stop. Loki blinks once at Thor, indicating that he shall abide by his wishes this once.

He holds his tongue and ignores his younger brother, instead rattling the chains around his wrists expectantly.

“Whenever you’re ready.” He says with a sigh.

Thor comes forward with the key and kneels before Loki, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“I have not mastered Father’s staff yet so I shall have to remove them manually.”

Loki does not complain. He can feel the heat from Thor’s body radiating from him and Loki almost moans in pleasure. Thor’s hands on his wrists are as rough as they always were but when they connect with his own bruised skin, it is as if the finest of silks are caressing him. Thor fumbles with the tiny key clumsily and takes more time than necessary, rubbing the soft skin underneath Loki’s forearm soothingly and away from Balder’s watchful gaze.

“I miss you.” Thor whispers so quietly that Loki almost doesn’t hear him.

He glances up at Loki with sad blue eyes and squeezes his hands gently as the chains fall to the ground loudly.

“Never forget that I love you.” Loki says loudly enough for Balder to hear.

Thor lets go of his hands slowly and gets to his feet once more. Loki follows suit, feeling dizzy from months of being chained to the ground. He cracks his back as he stands and offers Balder a tight.

“Thank you.” He says and he means it.

Loki is no fool. He knows that he must stay on the right side of Balder if he ever wishes to see Thor enter the dungeons again. He knows that Balder has a good heart; the most golden heart in all of Asgard after Thor.

Balder smiles and Loki is amazed to see that it is one of genuine affection.

“No trouble, brother. Now, we must dash but you should sit here and repent. Maybe if you show our Father the slightest bit of remorse you will allow you to leave this horrible place.”

And Loki can hear the pleading in his voice, the hope that Loki may for once, do the right thing. Except to Loki it is the wrong thing. To Loki it is betrayal of his own beliefs and all that h has fought for.

He glances at Thor who smiles at him encouragingly. He forces a small smile and shrugs his shoulders.

“Perhaps.”

.

Thor had never questioned his relationship with Loki, not when they were young and curious boys. He all he had known was that his mother did not like it and was forever watching them, insisting that Thor knew that he was doing the wrong thing but he hadn’t.

He had not understood the wrongness of kissing his brothers mouth or cradling his brothers naked form against his own. He did not realize the severity of their actions. All he knew is that he loved Loki and Loki loved him.

“You shall have to start looking for a queen soon!” His Father had teased on his fifteenth birthday.

Thor’s heart had stopped and he had looked at his father with wide, fearful eyes.

“But I do not want a queen! I shall rule with Loki by my side!”

All of his father’s advisors and dignitaries had laughed, ruffling his long blonde hair as they chuckled at him, thinking his declaration a joke of some sort.

“And tell me princeling, whom shall bear your children?” Angerboda, his father’s favourite healer, had demanded. “Surely not your brother?”

Thor hadn’t liked the way Angerboda had asked the question. He had put a lot of emphasis on the word ‘brother’, as if he understood, as if he could see into Thor’s soul and deepest darkest secrets.

“I do not wish to have children.” Thor had said petulantly.

Odin had smiled at him and patted him on the back, rolling his eyes to all the advisors.

“I think you shall find that children come at times whether you wish for them or not. Now run along, your Mother wishes to speak with you.”

Thor had walked away from the group with his cheeks burning and Angerboda’s gaze hot on his back.

.

Loki returns from his wash in the public bath to see his Mother sitting on his bed, her long legs crossed and her hands resting on her lap. She looks up at offers Loki a small smile as he is escorted back inside the cell by an Einherjar. Frigga nods at the young man who bows swiftly and exits the room with haste.

Loki nods at Frigga stiffly, staying standing.

“I am surprised by your visit.”

Frigga raises an eyebrow.

“Are you? Did you not think I would come to visit my son?”

Loki snorts.

“I am not your son.”

Frigga only shrugs, brushing at something on her skirt.

“If that is how you wish to see it, so be it. Thor visited before me?”

Loki nods.

“Yes. And your ever faithful son Balder escorted him and watched his every move.” Loki sneers. “I promise nothing untoward happened, Mother. Just three brothers behaving as brothers do.”

Frigga sighs loudly and looks Loki straight in the eye.

“If you only wish to be hostile with me, I am afraid I shall have to leave. I came to have words with you I can see that you are in no such humour for such things.”

Frigga goes to stand and Loki does not stop her. He can see that she is disappointed by his behaviour but he could care less.

“Tell me, Mother, how is it that one son becomes King whilst another becomes a prisoner? We are both guilty of the same sins; we have both been tempted by the great snake in the Garden of Eden. Why is it that I alone am being punished?”

Loki holds his mother’s gaze desperately, willing her to speak the truth. That they love Thor more, that he is more important, that he is special, anything at all to stop the turmoil that burns like acid in the pit of his stomach.

“Loki, you killed thousands of innocents. You sent the Nine Realms to war. You murdered your own wife and then proceeded to slay Thor’s. You betrayed your father over and over until there was no room for more daggers. The fact that you were pursuing a physical relationship with your brother is just one more thing on a long, long list of wrong-doings.” Frigga says sadly. “Thor, on the other hand, made one mistake and that was loving you the way he does, Loki. I have learned through the millennia’s that loving you is like suicide. You slowly kill someone from the inside out. We have all learned how to keep you at arms-length. All of us except Thor, of course. He loves you blindly, Loki, and I can promise you this; if you try drag my son down any further I shall slit your throat myself.”

Loki blinks at her in surprise and then begins to laugh. He throws his head back and laughs loudly, until the only sound in that glass box is the sound of his manic hysteria. Frigga watches on, her brows furrowed anxiously.

"What is it you find so amusing?" she demands.

Loki chortles and shakes his head, his cheeks flushed from his laughter. He gazes at her for the longest time before snickering again.

"You are a foolish woman if you think Thor's only wrong doing is loving me, Mother. There are things the Mighty Thor has done that would make your blood curdle." he whispers, his voice low, dark and dangerous. "Do not be so stupid as to think that he is an innocent in all of this. His soul weighs a lot heavier than mine, my queen and I pity you. You are Seer, Mother, and yet you cannot see what is right in front of you. You have three guilty, rotten sons and yet you pin all the blame to the half-breed. What kind of person does that make you, hm?"

Frigga pales slightly and takes a step back from Loki, an uncertain look in her eyes.

"You are ill, Loki. You are not yourself nor have you been for a long, long time."

Loki cracks a smile.

"Wrong again. This is me. I am this creature, this horrible monster that needs to be locked in cage because you have made me this way. All my life you have treated me differently and set me apart from the rest. You have made me into this terrible beast, Mother, and you made your eldest son love me the way he does."

Frigga turns on her heel and marches towards the panel, tapping on it and waiting for it to open. Loki smirks.

"And he does love me, you know. More than any of you. He has killed for me and he would do it again if I only asked. Remember that, Mother."