Fall

Loki tries in vain to ignore the ignorant guards that Odin insists stand outside his glass box of insanity. Loki wonders why Odin would waste men on him when it is clear that he cannot use his magic. He is chained like a beast to the floor. He does not have a bed to lay in, he does not have water to bathe himself in. He lies in the same spot, in the same position day in and day out. His entire body aches and screams for some sort of respite.

Loki knows he shall not receive any.

“The All-Father approaches.” One guard calls out as though expecting Loki to get to his feet.

He watches Loki expectantly, a frown appearing on his face when he sees that Loki makes no move to get to his feet.

“Stand, Son of Odin.” He demands.

“Hold your tongue!” Loki snarls viciously. “I am still a Prince of Asgard, you have no right.”

The guard raises an eyebrow and continues to watch Loki, waiting for him to stand.

“Stand so that you may bow before your king!” Another one pipes up foolishly.

Loki laughs humourlessly and stares the guards down.

“Have you not a mind between you? I am chained to the ground, how may I possibly stand?”

Loki smirks as the guards shuffle from one foot to another, looking appropriately embarrassed by their foolishness. They soon straighten up, however, as Odin enters the chamber, his one good eye locking with Loki’s the instant he steps into sight. Loki raises his chin slightly, tugging at his chains so that they jangle playfully.

“I was hoping that maybe you would allow me to sit up today, Father.” Loki calls out, a wide smile on his face.

Odin nods at the guards, indicating that they may leave. They do so reluctantly. Odin taps the side of the glass and steps inside the box as a pane slides towards the left, allowing him entry.

“How are you feeling?” he asks stiffly.

“Angry and sore.” Loki answers truthfully.

Odin hums softly and glances down at Loki sadly.

“I need only look at you and know that you have not seen the error of your ways.” Odin says mournfully.

“Has Thor?” Loki challenges. “Or does he strut about proudly enjoying his freedom, escaping your wrath once again.”

Odin sighs and looks away, a distant look in his eye.

“Thor is confined to his room and mourns the loss of his brother deeply.”

Loki swallows audibly and looks down, biting his bottom lip angrily.

“It is unfair to lock one of us away and allow the other to roam freely.”

Odin smiles at Loki almost warmly.

“You are to be separated. That is why he does not join you in the prison.”

Loki huffs but remains quiet besides that. Odin watches him unhappily for a while longer before tapping at the chains that bind his legs together. The metal bracelets fall from Loki’s ankles and allow him to move his legs properly. Loki moans loudly as he stretches his legs and looks up at his father hopefully.

“I need to bathe.”

“Tomorrow.” Odin promises as he goes to leave the glass box.

“I’m not sorry, you know.” Loki calls after him.

Odin nods, never turning back to look at his son.

“I know, Loki.”

.

Frigga had watched Loki grow. Loki had been the most beautiful, most perfect being ever created. He had a high-forehead, smooth cheeks, glittering green eyes and dark hair that fell past his shoulders in gently twisted waves. His lips were the palest shade of peach and his skin was the palest ivory. Frigga had comforted him through the times when children were desperately cruel creatures, calling Loki ‘princess’ and ‘ma’am’. Loki used to clutch at her skirts, his eyes wide and tearful as he asked over and over why the other children, Thor’s friends really, refused to accept the fact that he was a boy.

“Because you are different.” Frigga would reply time and time again.

She blames herself now. She knows that she is the reason Loki thinks himself above others, as a separate being, someone that does not belong, that does not fit in with those around him. Frigga thinks that it might have been envy that caused the other children to treat Loki the way they did. He was not Frigga’s child; the people of Asgard knew that. They resented Loki for it, deciding to blame the child instead of the king that had planted the seed in another woman’s belly. She thinks that people hated the fact that Loki was the closest to Odin, after their own glorious son Thor. She thinks that they always compared Loki to Thor, Thor with his golden beauty and warmth and heart that rivalled the strength and brightness of the suns. Thor was a happier child. He would laugh and smile with pure, undiluted happiness and it was infectious. He would race about the palace, his long, wild, golden hair flowing behind him like molten gold, shouting out to his friends, asking them to come with and explore the lakes, the mountains, the fields and rivers of Asgard. And how Sif, Volstaag and Fandral longed to join him! Frigga could see it on their shiny, young faces, turned up towards Thor, bright and hopeful. They wished to join him and explore with him but Loki was Thor’s shadow and he frightened them. His green eyes would stare them down, silently daring them to accept the offer, to try and steal Thor away from him. Loki made them feel as if their mediocrity decided they couldn’t be friends with the Princes of Asgard. Loki made them feel inferior and Frigga knows that that is the root of their hatred for the dark prince. Loki believed that there was only one person that was on a par with Thor and that was him and him alone.

Frigga watched on as Thor and Loki spent almost every second of that first millennia together. Loki was hopelessly envious of the blonde, bronzed god but he was also helplessly and irrevocably in love with him. Frigga could feel it in her own beating heart. Loki’s love for Thor was stronger than the bond of blood alone. Loki loved Thor. He was in love with his brother. Odin had created and nurtured them as two polar opposites and Loki found that he was inexplicably drawn to the light that surrounded Thor like the most beautiful halo. He was like a moth drawn to a flame and Frigga had tired her best to try and separate them as best she could.

“He is my best friend, Mother!” Thor had complained when Frigga had moved Loki from Thor’s room. “We spend our nights talking and planning all the great adventures to come!”

Loki had looked bereaved as he packed his belongings.

“You are only moving across the hallway.” Frigga had sighed impatiently.

“I don’t like the darkness.” Loki had said quietly and Frigga knew that he meant more than the black cloak of nightfall.

“I shall request that the maids leave your lanterns burning.” Frigga said soothingly.

The pair had been separated for almost two nights before the maids informed Frigga that they were now sharing the same bed.

“It is sweet, your Highness.” One of the maids had chirped.

“You should be pleased that your boys get along so well.” Another had piped up.

Frigga had forced a smile and nodded at them, thanking them graciously for their kind comments. As soon as Odin had entered their chambers that night, she had demanded that they have another child.

“You have two wonderful sons, is that not enough?” Odin had grumbled as he undressed.

“They are too close. They need a third sibling.” She had said firmly.

Ten moons later baby Balder was born. Thor had been overjoyed, his bright blue eyes sparkling as he cradled his brother gently.

“He is beautiful.” He breathed, the baby looking impossibly small in his strong arms.

Frigga had glanced at Loki, gaging his reaction. He had smiled up at her sweetly, tucking a strand of his dark hair behind his ear.

“He is the finest creature I have ever laid eyes on.” Loki had declared smoothly. “I am honoured to call him my brother.”

Frigga didn’t believe him and so the Silvertongue was born.

.

“He is your brother.” Sif sighs as they stroll around the garden. “They both are and regardless of what they have done in the past, forgiveness is the only way that you all may move on.”

Balder snorts and shoots a disbelieving look her way.

“You know not the full story, Sif. What they have done cannot be forgiven.”

Sif raises her eyebrows and links arms with the taller prince, looking up at him with a sceptical expression.

“Everything can be forgiven. It just takes a brave man to do so.”

.

Although Odin did not like to listen to gossip, when rumours had initially begun to spread across the palace, he could not help but listen. They spoke of Thor and Loki, how they were inseparable and almost shamefully so. Thor, with his big heart and blue eyes that shone with honesty could not bear to be apart from Loki for more than a day. He always returned from adventures as soon as he could and his first port of call was always his brother, Loki. Odin grew worried. He feared that such a relationship would prove detrimental for both his sons. He shared his worries with Heimdall who promised him that the boys were just being boys.

“They are brothers, your Highness. They are best friends. Thor is more attached to Loki than Loki is to Thor but they love each other regardless. You should be proud of your sons. They are fine men.”

Odin shook his head unsurely.

“There is something amiss. I just cannot put my finger on it.”

Odin wishes now he could have seen it. That he had not missed the signs.

.

“I wish to visit him, Mother.” Thor says quietly as Frigga enters his chambers. “I sit here day after day and learn law after law. I do as I am asked and without complaint. I only wish to lay eyes on him and know that he is alright.”

Frigga sighs unhappily and sits opposite her eldest son.

“Your father has forbidden it.” She says sadly.

“You could cloak me.” Thor says hopefully.

Frigga shakes her head and places her hand over Thor’s.

“You know that me doing so would be treason. I am sorry, darling. I know you only wish to see him.”

Thor pulls his hand away from hers and glares at her, his infamous temper rearing its ugly head.

“You are our mother and you let us suffer so! Have you no heart?” he demands aggressively.

Frigga rolls her eyes wearily and goes to her feet.

“Why must you taint my visits with his name?” she asks quietly. “Why cannot you not just let me speak with you?”

“Because you are pretending as if it has not happened.”

.

One day, atop the highest mountain they could find, Thor caught himself staring at the smooth planes of Loki’s chest as he lay out before the heat of the sun, his armour discarded and scattered about the place absent-mindedly. He frowned and curiously reached across to strokes Loki’s perfect skin which jumped beneath his touch. Loki had cracked one eye open and glared at him, shoving his hand away.

“What?” Loki snapped, his folding his arms across his chest.

“Why do you not have golden skin?” Thor mused.

Loki shrugged.

“Because you are the Golden Son of Asgard. You are golden like the sun so that those stupid pagans will worship you.” He explained.

Thor looked deep into those emerald eyes and smiled slowly.

“Do they worship you?”

Loki shook his head.

“They should.” Thor decided. “You are the most beautiful being ever created. Your skin glows with purity.”

Loki snorted and grinned at Thor crookedly.

“You are much more beautiful than I. And you are the heir to the Kingdom; of course they should worship you over me.”

Thor sighed and watched as two humming birds flew about above their heads, zipping about magically, the soft beating of their wings almost hypnotic.

“I wish I had wings. So I could fly away never become king.” Thor breathed, never taking his eyes from the birds.

When he looked again, Loki had moved closer so that their chests were almost touching. Loki looked at him rather coyly and smiled softly.

“You can touch me if you wish.”

Thor did not need to be invited twice. He quickly reached out and ran his fingers along Loki’s chest, not missing the way the younger man shivered. He gathered Loki’s long, dark hair in his hands and placed it over one shoulder so that he could touch and see every inch of the chest before him. Thor stroked him softly and listened to the sounds of Loki’s breathing. He had closed his eyes and was biting his lip as though to stifle whatever noises were trying to escape. Neither of them missed the roll of thunder that shook the ground beneath them.

“Is this wrong?” Thor whispered, his mouth hovering over Loki’s parted lips.

Loki laughed, the happiest sound in the universe and pushed closer so that Thor’s hands would fall away and their chests were flush against one another.

“It is not right.” He mused.

Thor closed his eyes and kissed him, not missing the jolt of icy cold that rushed through body and squeezed at his soul.