Things You Should Know
The book she found in the Royal Archive is still sitting on her bed, glaring at America as she tries to get her head around what she found out. It had been excruciating, reading step by step about the process that turned her mothers' energy into supernovas, tearing them inside out, draining of them even the last drop of life and energy in order to save their world. Now, she realizes, when the time comes, she will have to do the same thing. It almost makes her mad how obvious it was all along. If her mothers, who were always so much more powerful than her, hadn't survived it, why would she?
Ignoring how terrified she feels, deep in the pit of her stomach, America also feels an odd calm spreading through the rest of her, the kind that comes with knowing the inevitability of her fate. She will die, like they had, but at least won't leave a broken hearted orphan behind in the process, and she will save her friends. It's not all that bad.
A knock on the door interrupts her thoughts.
Glancing up, still a bit in a haze, America blinks at the door as the knocking repeats, the sound impatient. Finally, she stands up. She hides the book away in her backpack, for now just in case. She'll have to give it back tomorrow, before they leave. Then, she walks over to the door, takes a deep sigh to steel her features and opens it.
"Chico?" She arches an eyebrow, looking at the girl standing before her. For a second, she'd almost forgotten about his changed form.
"I think you mean Chica," he smiles cheekily.
America rolls her eyes.
"Whatever. What do you want?"
"I want you to show me around."
"No."
"But I'm bored."
"How is that my problem?"
"Well..." Loki drawls with a big grin. "I could just go and explore on my own but I can't guaranty what I'll find, or who I will run into... and maybe I will get extra curious and ask some questions..."
America's face turns into a furious glare, clenching her fists by her sides. This is blackmailing. This is exactly why she hadn't wanted him to know more about her. This is-
Nothing, she suddenly realizes. It won't mater anymore soon enough.
"Fine," her shoulders sag as she grabs the cape they had issued her. Not that she needs it, or likes it, but the Queen's spandex outfits make her feel a bit too exposed. "One quick look around."
Loki blinks, apparently surprised by how quickly she gave in, but doesn't complain as she closes the door behind her.
To say Loki is having the time of his, well her, life with the field trip is an understatement. The Utopian Parallel is way beyond anything his imagination had ever come up with and, even in his wildest theories, he would have never truly guessed America belonged here. Even now, it is somewhat hard to believe. As much as there is a resemblance between her and the rest of the women here —their strong aura, their fearless way of strolling, their calm and bright eyes—, there is also a lot more earthly about America, like she is more real than them, more here.
At least, it had seemed that way before. Now, she look a far away. As they walk down the city, she barely speaks other than to reply to Loki's wide range of questions, but even her answers seem flat and distracted. He has grown used to her present silence, the kind that always lets him know she is focused on the matter at hand and that she has her eye on him in case he tries anything. This new distance is... different. It makes him uneasy.
"Is something wrong, Chavez? Something we should be worrying about?" He finally asks as they nearly reach the edge of the city.
"Besides the obvious holes in the Multiverse?"
"Yes."
"No. Nothing to worry about," America replies, not meeting his eyes. Her sight set on the horizon.
Loki frowns lightly but doesn't insist for now. He's learnt the hard way that would only gain him a fist to the mouth. Without a word, America leads him to the edge of the city, where the ground literally ends and in front of theme there is only a wide void filled with colorful stars, like a sea of magic and beauty. America sits on the edge calmly, dangling her legs above the void like it's no big deal. Maybe if you can fly it isn't, he thinks to himself nervously, but he sits down by her side anyway. This is... nice.
He's surprised when it's her who breaks the silence.
"There," she says, pointing at a specific point in the distance. "There is where I ran away, through one of the holes."
Loki stares at the empty space with awe, wondering how she can remember that specific detail after so long. How long had this place been on her mind?
"I was six years old, had just learned about my mothers deaths and I was... I was so angry, I felt so powerless. It seemed like the only choice that would truly be mine. So I flew away. I had no idea where I was going or what I was getting into. All I knew was it was a completely different place, somewhere I could make a difference at. That was all I ever wanted."
Loki stares at America, gapping slightly at the sheer amount of words she just spoke without an apparent reason. America isn't the taking type, or the sharing type, or the sensible type... and even if she was, Loki knows he'd be the last person she'd be telling this things to. And yet, she goes on:
"I used to dream about this place a lot. I thought I remembered it perfectly... but now that we are here, it all looks so different."
"Why are you telling me this?" Loki asks, without thinking, and immediately wants to punch himself on the face for even asking. She doesn't even look angry, though. Her eyes are almost sad as she finally meets his. For a second, she seems confused about it too.
"I don't know... I guess, I just wanted someone to know..."
She lays down on her back, staring at the star filled sky instead. It's clear by her face that her thoughts have turned grimmer. It makes his chest feel heavy. It's not normal of her to act like this. Something is wrong, but he can't do anything to fix it unless he knows what it is. He could try to guess, but it feels like an intrusion too much at the moment, when she's in this weird state.
"This place is rather amazing," he tries for small talk instead, but still feels flat, like the words in his mouth have turned to lead.
"It is," America agrees. "Sometimes, I wish I had never left."
"You do?" He frowns at the thought.
"From time to time, when things get rough. I just wonder..." she shrugs. "No point on wishing, though," she sighs. "Things happen for a reason. I guess I just ended where I was meant to."
"Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad you came to the Multiverse," Loki offers.
"You are?" It's America's turn to look surprise and that is, at least, something Loki is more used to.
"Yes," he says, with all honesty, because lying would seem impossible after she's been so painfully honest. "Without you, I would have probably committed the worst mistake of my life, giving in to my own wishes rather than fighting for who I want to be," as he speaks, Loki lays down by her side, looking at the sky too.
"No, you wouldn't have," America murmurs after a short moment. "You had doubts before I intervened. I think... you would've made the right choice."
"You really believe so?"
"Yeah... maybe."
Loki smiles softly at the thought. Not that they will ever know what the truth is, though, but it's a nice idea to entertain. That, however, leaves America out of the equation again. He turns his head to look at her.
"You didn't just save me from becoming my former self that day, though... You also saved my life," he says. "I don't think I ever thank you for that."
"No need for that," America shrugs, side glancing at him. "It's what I do."
"Yeah," he feels slightly let down by her answer, "I guess... thank you, anyway."
"You saved my life too, the other day," America says, looking at him with that piercing look that makes him shiver. "Thank you."
"Oh, you know, hero stuff is what I do," Loki grins.
The hint of a smile appears on America's face. "Guess that makes us even."
"Yeah."
The silence that follows is easy and light, as they both stare back at the stars above them. Loki still isn't sure where all this honesty came for, or why it feels so good, but he is oddly contempt with it.
"You are nice when you look like a girl," America states after a while.
"I don't look like a girl. I'm a girl too, America. I'm both," Loki explains, glancing at her, curious about her reaction. America looks back at him, with her eyebrows arched as if the idea slowly dawned on her. She mouths an 'oh' as she seems to understand what Loki's saying. "I guess that explains why you like me better like this," he teases. "And I'm nice all the time... You too," he smirks, "when you're not punching me in the face."
America laughs.
Loki can't remember hearing her laugh like that before and he would remember that sound. It sounds warm and free and bright. It's like fire, both beautiful and dangerous like America's passion in the battlefield and it makes him feel... something new.
He wants to hear it again, but sadly the sound dies down as America calms down. He sees the same sadness emerge on her face.
"Too bad it's a little too late for that," she says, her tone definitive and heavy.
Loki looks at her, at the sadness in her face, and feels like a ghost fist is clenching his gut. Norns.
"Maybe it isn't?" He asks, hopefully, reaching for something he doesn't really get yet. He doesn't know what he expects America to reply. Too late for what? To be friends? Something different? Hel if he knows but he knows he doesn't want that door closed.
His hand, like it has life on its own, moves across he space between them until his fingertips can nearly feel her skin.
"Chico," America's tone is painful and he thinks he know the answer before she has even said it. "I need to tell you-"
And just then, as he feels hope remerge and his little finger hook around hers, the world goes dark.
America sits up quickly, all contact between them lost as she looks back at the city. The clouds and thunder roar, very close to where they had been staying. It makes Loki think of Thor... only Thor's storm don't make the world twist like a smugged painting around them.
"What the Hel?"
"Billy," he hears America gasp under her breath, right before she jumps to her feet and takes off, leaving him behind.
Oh, for the Norns, Kaplan! He thinks frustratedly as he runs after her. What did you break this time?!
When she arrives to the room, it's chaos all around them. She feels like the oxygen it's being sucked out of her- instead it's not the air, it's the magic. It's gone wild and unstable and a place that is entirely made out of it. She nearly brings the door down before Teddy opens.
"What the hell is going on?!" She demands immediately running inside.
"He- He was having a nightmare. It- it happens! Sometimes his- his magic goes a little out of control but-"
Billy was in the bed, twisting and turning, muttering things under his breath as the world around him moved like it was made of jello. America felt the dread grow in her stomach like an oncoming storm. She should have known this. She should have known how dangerous it was. She should have got them out of here the moment they arrived.
"Wake him up!" She snaps at Teddy. "I'll get the others, tell him to be ready to get us out of here!"
Without waiting for a reply, she runs out of the room and goes to Kate's bedroom. Her friend opens, confused and sleepy, but America has no time to be polite. She orders she grabs her things and goes to the boys' room immediately. She rushes into her bedroom to grab her backpack and her clothes quickly and then runs back to the boy's room, slamming clumsily against the walls, disoriented by the wild magic around her. Loki catches up with her and helps her get to the room faster.
"We need to get out of here!" She insists, though he seems to have gotten the idea too. When they arrive, Billy is awake but the magic hasn't calmed down yet. He's panicking and this is bad. This is out of America's worse nightmare. "Quick!" She snaps at him, grabbing his hand tightly. As she feels him pour his energy into her, the storm starts to wind down. All she can hope is they didn't do any permanent damage. She'd never forgive herself.
As she turns around, just before they leave the reality, she sees the Queens standing on the bedroom's entrance, looking worried and scared and oh god-
"America," one of them takes a step forward.
She feels tears cloud her eyes, ruining her last look at the world she's so much dreamed of.
"I'm so sorry," she chokes out before kicking down.
"Oh, Demiu-"
Reality breaks.
They fall.
It's all gone.