you never knew
Beatrice woke up early to prepare Ava’s favorite breakfast. She also picked some flowers from the garden Ava has in the backyard. She told her it helped a lot with her healing.
“Good morning,” Beatrice greets Ava when she stirs.
“Morning,” Ava answers in a raspy voice.
“I cooked your favorite,” Beatrice gestures to the tray in the bed.
Ava smiles and sits up. “Thank you,” she gives Beatrice a quick kiss.
Beatrice didn’t comment on it but she is very concerned about the dark circles under Ava’s eyes. Despite just waking up, her eyes still look very tired. Her cheeks are pale. Ava is the one who is very chatty in the morning but she just ate in silence. And she realizes that the previous days she has been less and less chatty.
After, Beatrice sets aside the plates.
She turns to Ava. “I’m worried about you,” she takes her hands on hers.
“Bea, I’m fine.”
“We both know you’re not,” Beatrice says. “When did you start having these nightmares?”
“Now or before?”
“Before?”
“It started when we broke up back then,” Ava reveals. “Yes, it started about you and me then JC got into the mix. Sometimes it was just some random scary shit I didn’t know I was scared of.”
“Jesus.”
“It stopped when I went to therapy,” Ava tells her. “It came back when we were at Joshua Tree and then almost every night after that JC article.”
“Ava…,” Beatrice thinks for a moment. “Is it because you don’t feel safe in this environment anymore?”
“Bea, stop,” Ava says. “You are not bad for me. I know your train of thought. Stop. It’s just me letting what other people think affect me too much.”
“I don’t want you to feel like this,” Beatrice embraces her. “It hurts me that you are hurting.”
“This will pass,” Ava assures her. “If not, I will go seek therapy again.”
“Okay,” Beatrice says when she pulls away. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Ava smiles at her.
“I want to be honest with you,” Beatrice bites her lip. “You kinda look like shit, baby.”
“I know,” Ava chuckles a little.
“I have a meeting this morning but maybe later we could hit a spa or something,” Beatrice tells her.
“Sounds good,” Ava smiles again. “What’s the meeting for?”
“A guesting,” Beatrice tells her. “It’s not for sure yet.”
“With who?”
“I want to keep it a secret for now,” Beatrice winks.
“No fair,” Ava sulks. “I thought you want to be honest?"
“Just wait and see,” Beatrice kisses her. “I’ll go get ready.”
“Am I late?” Beatrice asks Camila who is sitting in the lobby of Oprah’s office.
“No, I was just super early,” Camila smiles. “Did any paps spotted you?”
“No, I don’t think so,” Beatrice breathes.
“Ms. Young and Ms. Delcan, I am Dora Reed,” a woman approaches them. “Ms. Winfrey requested the meeting be held in her residence today. Will that be okay?”
“Sure,” Beatrice nods.
“If you’ll follow me,” Dora led them to the elevator to the basement where a black SUV is waiting for them. Bea and Camila got in the back while Dora rode shotgun. “Ms. Winfrey extends her apologies. She suddenly has an urgent meeting after yours in her residence as well so she can’t come into the office.”
“It’s fine,” Beatrice tells her. “We are so grateful you were able to squeeze us today.”
After a few minutes they pull up in Oprah’s home. It was very stunning. Dora led them to one of the rooms in the ground floor. Oprah is sitting in a chair sipping some tea when they walk in.
“The Beatrice Young!” she claps her hand as she stands up. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“It’s my pleasure,” Beatrice smiles as Oprah kisses both her cheeks. “Thank you for seeing us in such short notice.”
“I was up late last night too,” Oprah tells her. “So when Dora here heard from your assistant, she immediately informed me and of course I said yes right away.”
“I feel honored,” Bea says.
“Dora, where is Zori and Chanel?” Oprah asks. “I can’t believe Beatrice arrived earlier than them.”
“They are just entering the property,” Dora says looking at her phone. “I’ll meet with them. Excuse me.”
“They are my floor director and producer,” Oprah explains. “I figured you are busy as much as I am so I included them in our first meeting right away.”
“That’s perfect,” Beatrice smiles.
“Sorry, we’re late,” a tall woman says, entering the room.
“Sorry,” the smaller one says as well.
“Beatrice, this is Chanel, my director and this is Zori, my producer,” Oprah gestures as them as they sat down.
“Nice to meet you,” Beatrice tells them. “Thank you for seeing us in such short notice.”
The two nodded as they scramble to takeout their laptop and iPad.
“Let’s get started, shall we?” Oprah asks. “Beatrice, what is it that you want to do?”
“I want to come out,” she says in full confidence.
Zori and Chanel are suddenly gaping like fishes.
“I would say I kind of know this,” Oprah admits. “I can’t believe the rumors are true.”
“Yes, it is,” Beatrice says with a smile.
“So you and Ava Silva?” Chanel asks.
“Chanel!” Zori exclaims.
“It’s alright,” Bea nods at her. “It’s true.”
“And you want to come out to my show?” Oprah asks.
“Yes,” Beatrice says. “I think it’s the best way. You have a wide audience and I really want to tell people my story which a huge part is me being gay.”
“This would be huge,” Zori comments. “You are Beatrice Young. The world would be watching.”
“Are you sure about this?” Oprah asks. “Your publicist, Areala is her name, right? I noticed she isn’t here.”
“She and I have different views on how I should present myself,” Beatrice tells them. “On the start I just followed and trusted she knows what’s best for me. But now, I just want to be who I truly am. I’m tired of hiding.”
“I understand,” Oprah says. “It must have been really hard.”
“Yes,” Beatrice nods. “Especially now with my girlfriend.”
Chanel makes a noise and Zori nearly slapped her across the face. Beatrice chuckles a little.
“I wanted to do this with you ever since we talked about coming out and being public with our relationship,” Beatrice continues. “We planned on easing it but now the situation has changed. I want to come out as soon as possible.”
“May I know why?” Zori asks.
“She tries her best not to be affected but she’s only human,” Beatrice says. “It’s all the toxic speculations that is weighing on her. I want it to stop and the best way is to tell people the truth. To tell my story.”
“It seems like she’s a huge part of this,” Oprah says. “It would be better if she will be involved. I mean, she already is.”
“Of course, she’ll be involved,” Beatrice nods. “And I know she’ll want to be involved. But she’s stressed out lately so I let her rest.”
“Great, if you are sure with this, when do you want to do this?” Zori asks.
“As soon as possible,” Beatrice says. “I am ready to go anytime. Just say when.”
“Ms. Winfrey you don’t have anything scheduled this Friday,” Dora chimes in.
“Chanel, Zori, can you make that work?” Oprah asks them.
“Absolutely,” Chanel says, smiling.
Zori turns to Dora. “Prep the studio.”
“Two cameramen and two sound guys will be enough I think,” Chanel says. “I assume you want a close studio with NDAs, right?”
“I want it to be a surprise,” Beatrice nods. “No announcement until the morning of the day it airs.”
“CBS will approve of this when they hear about your name so that’s good,” Oprah says. “Dora, prepare all the paperwork immediately after this, okay?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Besides you and Ava, who will be at the studio?” Zori asks.
“Camila here, of course,” Beatrice gestures. “And maybe Michael Salvius and Yasmine Amunet.”
“Will they be appearing on-screen?” Chanel asks.
“No, I don’t think so,” Beatrice says. “They just be there to support probably.”
“Okay, got it.”
“We can air this on Valentine’s Day, no?” Oprah grins. “It will be perfect.”
“Yes, it will,” Beatrice beams.
“We will film this interview at the 10th and air it at the 14th,” Zori mutters, typing in her laptop. “The editor will be pissed.”
“Oh, tell him I’ll give him a bonus,” Oprah says. “This is a Beatrice Young exclusive!”
“Maybe he won’t need to edit it that much,” Beatrice says. “I want it to be raw as possible.”
“And we will,” Oprah promises her. “Thank you for trusting us.”
They exchange technical information before finishing the meeting.
“As much as I want to talk to you more, I have a meeting with the Vice President,” Oprah winks. “I think she also wants an exclusive. But don’t worry, you’ll come first because I love you more.”
Beatrice laughs at that. “Thank you so much.”
“I am looking forward on talking to you on Friday.”
“Me too,” Beatrice hugs her. “Good luck with the Vice President.”
The driver drops them off at the office. Beatrice invited Camila to her and Ava’s spa day but she declined. She has a date with her girlfriend and they are going to Santa Monica.
“I need to bring Ava there one of these days,” Beatrice says as she drives Camila home. “That will cheer her up.”
“When are you going to tell her?” Camila asks.
“Immediately when I get home.”
“Would she be really sitting there with you?” Camila asks. “I mean I know she would but with what you said about her being stressed, I got to ask.”
“She would be mad at me if I won’t include her,” Beatrice says smiling. “Whatever we do now, we do it together. It’s a nice change from before.”
“Yeah,” Camila smiles too. “You’re better together now.”
“We are and I want it to continue that way.”
“You’re gonna crush this interview,” Camila says confidently. “And despite what nasty thing some people might say after, I know you’ll be happier.”
“Listen, Cam,” Beatrice tells her when they stop in front of her apartment building. “I have been thinking… I want to let Areala go. I was just waiting for the right time and I think this is it. Before the interview airs I will severe my ties with her.”
“Really?”
“And I want you to be my new publicist,” Beatrice says. “Actually, I was wondering who I will replace her with and Ava just went ‘hello Camila is there’,” she chuckles. “And she’s right. You have the connections and you know me well. It’s perfect.”
“Beatrice…” Camila is tearing up. “It would be my pleasure.”
“Thank you,” Beatrice hugs her.
“No, thank you,” Camila wipes her tears.
“We’ll talk about it more tomorrow at rehearsals,” Beatrice tells her.
“Okay,” Camila smiles as she gets out of the car. “Have fun with your girlfriend.”
Beatrice gives her a little salute before she drives off.
“I’m home!” Beatrice announces as she puts her keys on the bowl by the foyer.
“Bea!” Ava came running and launches herself to Beatrice. It took her all not to fall.
“Ava, what in the hell?”
“Sorry,” Ava says apologetically. “I just missed you,” she hugs her.
“It’s only been three hours,” Bea chuckles looking at her wristwatch.
“I don’t know I just missed you,” Ava says.
“Did you have a nightmare again while I was gone?” Beatrice asks. She notices that Ava’s hair is in disarray and her clothes are crooked. She must have fallen asleep again while she was gone.
Ava bit her lip for a moment. It’s like she’s debating on whether or not to tell the truth.
“Ava…” Beatrice hugs her tight.
“I’m okay now,” Ava assures her. “You’re here now.”
“Can we sit down? I want to tell you something.”
“Okay,” Ava follows her into the living room.
“The meeting I had this morning, it’s with Oprah,” Beatrice reveals.
“Wow,” Ava gapes. “For what?”
“Actually, it’s me who reached out and I’m glad she saw me immediately,” Beatrice tells her. “Ava, I know we agreed we will ease into it but I want to tell everybody as soon as possible.”
“Is this because of me?” Ava asks.
“Yes and no,” Beatrice answers. “I do want to shout to the world we are together. It’s hard to keep it in,” she smiles at her. “And also, I just want everybody to stop assuming and accusing us of things. I don’t want them to cause you any stress anymore.”
“If you are going to do it, I want to be part of it,” Ava tells her. “I need to be there.”
“I know,” Beatrice caresses her face. “I already told them you will be involved.”
“When will she interview us?” Ava asks.
“This Friday,” Bea replies. “And it will air on Valentine’s.”
Ava nods. “What about Areala? Or your mother?”
“The announcement of the interview won’t be posted until the morning of the day it will air,” Beatrice tells her. “When Areala calls me to ask what the hell have I done, I will tell her I am letting her go. I already told Camila she will be my new publicist. As for Mom, I will just tell her to tune in and hope for the best.”
“We are really doing this?” Ava takes a deep breath.
“My love, if you are not comfortable with it, I could cancel it,” Beatrice says.
“No, I think it’s time we finally tell the world,” Ava takes her hand. “It’s time they finally know the truth.”
“Thank you,” she hugs Ava. “We can do this and we’ll be free.”
That Friday, Beatrice, Ava, Michael and Camila all sat on the standby room in Oprah’s studio. Yasmine couldn’t come so Shannon filled her spot. She’s very supportive of Ava’s decision to support Beatrice.
Earlier, they looked at the set-up and it looked amazing. It’s very simple but so Beatrice. She made sure to thank Chanel. Besides the two cameramen and sound guys, there were two light guys. Chanel and Zori will be on the monitors. Dora assures them everybody signed an NDA including make-up and hair personnel.
“Good morning,” Oprah swings by. “How is everybody?”
“A little nervous,” Ava admits and Beatrice immediately puts her hands around her and strokes her arms gently.
“You can back out anytime you want,” Oprah says. “It will be fine. We will understand.”
“No, let’s do this,” Ava says looking at Beatrice.
“It will be just me at first so don’t be so anxious,” Beatrice tells her.
“We’ll be starting in five,” Dora tells everybody. “Ms. Young, you can sit in the set with Ms. Winfrey. Ms. Silva, Mr. Salvius, Ms. Masters and Ms. Declan, seats are provided next to Ms. Zori and Ms. Chanel.”
“Alright, let’s get started,” Oprah says.
Oprah’s make-up artist checks on her as Chanel gives last minute adjustments to the cameras and lighting. When she is satisfied, she gave a thumbs up to Zori.
“All right, Donnie and Mark, you can go now,” Chanel tells the lighting guys. “Scott and Vic, are you sure the sound is good?” The two guys nods. “You can stand-by beside Zori then. “Art and Aldous, are we all set?” The camera guys give her a thumbs up.
“Then let’s get this show rolling,” Zori announces.
“Good evening, everyone!” Oprah smiles at the camera. “Tonight is a very special day. Happy Valentine’s! And on today’s special, we also have a very special guest with us…” she suddenly trailed off. “Who wrote this? There’s too many ‘special’ in this,” Oprah complains. “I’m so sorry, Beatrice,” she says. “Can we start over?”
“Okay, cut,” Chanel says. “Sorry, they must have made the intern write it again.”
“I’ll do it myself,” Oprah tells her.
Oprah takes a deep breath and goes over the opening spiel. She hums to herself for a few moments. Beatrice looks at Ava and she smiles at her. She smiles back.
“Okay, I think I got it,” Oprah says. “Let’s start over.”
“Three, two, one!”
“Good evening, everyone!” Oprah smiles. “As you all know, today is Valentine’s Day. And to celebrate this special occasion, we have an equally special guest with us. World, Beatrice Young!”
“Good evening to everyone and happy Love Day,” Beatrice beams at the camera. “I hope you are with your loved ones today.”
“It’s so great to finally have you on the show,” Oprah says.
“It’s an honor to be sitting here with you,” Beatrice tells her. “I’m grateful that you allowed me to use your platform to share something to everyone that I am wanting to for the longest time.”
“I’m sure the viewers are very curious about this,” Oprah says. “You are after all a public figure. Are there really things we don’t know already?”
“Well, despite me building my career with songs that describes my personal experiences, I am still a very private person,” Beatrice tells her. “And tonight, I want to set the record straight. I want to put an end to the rumors and assumptions. Tonight, I will tell the world who the true Beatrice Young is.”
“I am very intrigued and I bet the viewers are at the edge of their seat,” Oprah says. “Before we begin, I want to laud you for doing this. I know how much you value your privacy but you are here ready to put your walls down so everyone could truly understand you. You are so brave, Beatrice.”
“Thank you,” Beatrice smiles at her. “That really means a lot.”
“So where do we begin?”
“I think it’s best we start from the beginning,” Beatrice says. “I am not who you think I am. You see, I am guilty of going with the flow. For the longest time, I let the media perceive me the way they want to because I wanted to make it in this industry and I did. I fit myself into this girl-next-door mold because I was afraid if I just let myself be myself, people won’t like me. I let myself be a tagged as a boy-heartbreaker who people think dates so I could turn the experiences into songs and they are not wrong. I did all of that. But that not what I am as a whole. There’s still a lot they don’t know. It’s like having secret moments in a crowded room.”
“Secret moments in a crowded room,” Oprah lets the phrase roll off her tongue. “I like how that sounds. Maybe that’s what this episode’s title will be.”
“Perfect,” Beatrice agrees.
“Now, tell us all about these secret moments we never knew,” Oprah smiles.