Sonder

━━━━━━━━━━

𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐍

/dree-sawn/ • [𝒏.]

An unexpected twinge of attraction for a friend, a flutter of desire you don’t necessarily want to feel that didn’t even seem possible up until this point, a flame that you will leave unattended until the fire it starts becomes a problem.

. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“Is it really necessary to put this much glitter?” I whined to Pandora as she stroked her make-up brush on my eyelid and put rhinestones on the corners, “I’m going to be blind if you don’t stop that!”

“You’ll end up blind because you won’t stop moving!” Pandora scolded, holding my jaw in place, “If you want to make a fool of yourself when we go to the pit, be my guess. Otherwise, HOLD STILL!”

I sighed and let her get back to putting make-up on my face. I never thought I’d be here long enough to experience my first Hogwarts party during Halloween. Since we’re also welcoming my birthday that evening, Pandora wanted to make sure I look good as we welcome me being 16.

The houses host different parties for Halloween, each having a different level of enjoyment depending on what you were in the mood for that evening. We plan to go to all of them to maximise our time for fun and interact with many people. It depends on you what order you go to between the houses, but Xenophilis insisted that the best order was to go to Badgers for the pre-party, then to the dungeons for the main party, and then to the Raves for the after-party. But after many students were still high for a week after the badgers hosted the party last year and almost got caught by the professors for being the primary source of that magical plant, among other things, they opted to host a chiller version of the after party.

So, if you want a more toned-down party and warm yourself up to that kind of atmosphere, you first go to the Ravenclaw common room, where you can mingle without the party being too wild. 

Ravenclaws have the classier themed party and the best quality of alcohol, as mentioned by other houses. The upper-class students tend to concoct cocktails or the ‘special’ potion to help the anxious Ravenclaws to loosen up or feel distressed after a long day of class to set them in the mood. 

Once everyone is loosened up, the rave in Ravenclaw starts. 

Then when you’re all warmed up and ready to take it up a notch, you’ll go to the pit or Slytherin’s common room. As a collective—or from what I understand, an agreement between Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs only—the party at the pit is the height of any house party at Hogwarts. Not only are they more similar to present-day clubbing, even if this was in the 70s, but the students here really aim to let loose because most of the rich purebloods are sorted here.

They dreaded formal parties since it was what they were accustomed to while growing up. So when they throw a party, it is the wildest and most talked about party at Hogwarts. It was also the time of the year when prejudice wasn’t as rampant. But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t 100% gone. It’s just that some of the supremacists keep their thoughts to themselves not to ruin everyone’s night. 

After the wild and steamy night, the Hufflepuff common room is where you safely lower the high from the two parties and chill with your friends. Hufflepuffs provides the best refreshments and after-party food. But that doesn’t mean they can’t throw one massive party that could rival the snakes. It’s a shame it wasn’t their time to host this year. 

But they did have the best idea regarding the party’s theme this year compared to the rest: mythical creatures or beings. Pandora suggested I dress up as a fairy while she dressed up in her version of Selene, the ancient Greek Titan goddess of the moon.

When I asked Pandora why we weren’t hopping over to Gryffindor tower and why just a few students from that house were invited, she scrunched her face in disgust. 

“It’s not that their parties aren’t fun, but they tend to refocus the attention on them once the firewhiskey kicks in.”

I arched an eyebrow in her direction, “How so?”

“Let’s just say that the main character syndrome kicks in 90% of the time. As cliché as it sounds, many fights start because of them. Sometimes because of a girl or the never-ending rivalry over who’s the greatest house or because of quidditch. And it sullens the party mood pretty quickly.” she stated, dabbing lipgloss on her lips, “Sure, I love a good teenage angst now and then, but when it consists of the same people, it’s annoying. We have these kinds of things to have fun, not to see who’s at the top of this school’s social hierarchy.”

“So meaning, Sirius and—”

“His merry band of misfits, yes. A bunch of drama queens and pretentious little pricks.” Pandora huffed, lip gloss wand pointing everywhere as she talked, “I’m all for house unity and all that shit, but I don’t act like a little bitch when I’m ignored. That’s why we don’t invite those moody lions and go to their parties anymore.” 

I expected it once I heard about the Halloween party during the feast. It was all everyone could talk about, even amidst Dumbledore’s speech. 

We got ready while Pandora’s radio blasted music around the room, occasionally asking each other’s opinion about a particular piece in our costume that would be better than the previous ones. I love this invention of Pandora. It looked like a regular radio, but she customised it with magic to avoid fights for music preference, so the radio plays the song you prefer that’s the same beat or genre as the one you are in the room. I don’t know why I am surprised it’s playing present tunes from my CR, but then I remember that this is my alternate reality. Some things are sticking from my Golden Trio DR script.

I nodded my head to the beat of I Wanna Be Your Slave by Maneskin and wondered silently what Pandora’s listening to.

For the past few days, I’ve been so distracted with my celebration with Sirius that I’ve neglected my Ravenclaw friends. Although Pandora was used to this by this time of the year, I didn’t want her to feel neglected, especially when she was the first one who made me feel welcomed on my first day shifting here.

So even though Sirius has been bugging me constantly to come to the Gryffindor tower for the Halloween party, I gave him a vague answer. Already too familiar with Gryffindor parties, thanks to fanfics I read about Fred Weasley, I was curious if the parties in other houses would be on par with my expectations.

After tying the strap of heels and putting on my fairy wings, Pandora and I descended to our common room. It seemed that whatever charm Pandora had on her radio was also on the Ravenclaw speakers because People I Don’t Like by UPSAHL was on full volume once we opened the door. 

My eyes immediately adjusted to the lighting, or the lack thereof. Everything was blue and hazy. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes and sweat clung in the air. People were mingling either too close or dancing rather suggestively. I wonder where Professor Flitwick is in all this commotion. 

“I thought the theme was mystical beings or creatures?” I yelled towards Pandora as we weaved through the dancing crowd to get our first drink of the night, “Why does this look like a rave?”

“It is!” Pandora yelled back, craning her neck, probably looking for Xenophilius, “But it’s for the costume, not the party itself!”

Once we arrived at the refreshment table, we saw Hanbin Kim mixing drinks, wand between his teeth. He was wearing a dark green pointy hat with a single red feather on the side, matching his rugged tunic that looked like a garb and a wide leather belt on his waist, tucking his fake knife. Looking at the light green leggings and pointy shoes, I giggle and immediately recognise his costume. Hanbin is a muggleborn, so when our eyes met, he immediately winked at me, embodying that Peter Pan cockiness I grew to love.

“Looking good, ladies!” Hanbin yelled once he saw us, “What can I get you started for tonight?”

“Do you have muggle drinks as well?” I queried, leaning forward towards him.

“Absolutely! You’d think this would be a party with only wizard drinks?” Hanbin’s eyes twinkled, shaking his stainless shaker, “What do you have in mind?”

“Tequila, straight.” I grinned, making him laugh, “And keep it coming.”

“Blunders got it. Want some pineapple juice to chase that?”

“Maybe later.”

“What’s that?” Pandora asked when Hanbin produced five shots of tequila, some lime wedges and a salt shaker, “Are we going to make our drinks?”

“And offend Hanbin? No, we aren’t.” I licked the skin between my thumb and forefinger and sprinkled some salt. I got a shot and a lime wedge in each hand and turned to her, “This is what Hanbin calls, Blunder.”

Pandora eyed the drink suspiciously, then watched as I licked the salt, gulped the glass in one go and bit the lime, grimacing a little as I felt the warmth of the alcohol on my throat.

“It tastes better than firewhiskey. Trust me.” I insisted, handing her the shot glass, “Bottoms up!”

Pandora shrugged and followed my direction about how it was drunk. After a drink or two, we go to the dance floor. At one point, someone wraps an arm on Pandora’s waist; then, we see Xenophilius smiling down on her, dressed like Count Dracula.

“Where have you been?” Pandora gushed as she hugged him tightly, “You’re looking fit, darling.”

“Likewise, love.” Xenophilius kissed her temple, “Saunders, looking lovely as always.”

I raised the cup of firewhiskey I brought on the dance floor to his direction as a greeting, then continued to dance with them the rest of the time. When it was time to hop to the dungeons, we stopped at Hanbin to get one more tequila for each of us.

“Why is it called Blunders, by the way?” Xenophilius inquired, looking at the drink I was gulping suspiciously.

“You’ll know once the night is over.” Hanbin suggestively said, grinning as he pointed his wand at several bottles to refill shots, “It’s actually called tequila in the muggle world, but it has a unique effect on wizarding folks.”

“What effect?” Pandora’s eyes widened, “Surely it’s safe?”

“It is. Let’s just say it could be fuel for courage or lead to bad decisions.”

I wish I had listened when Hanbin was explaining what the Blunder is. 

I don’t want to boast about drinking, but I’m not usually a lightweight. But something about partying with the Slytherins made you feel drunk pretty quickly.

Compared to the Ravenclaw party, the Slytherin party was more sultry. And man, they can get wild once the beat drops.

Of course, the dungeons were dark, green and humid. People were dancing closer to each other, almost grinding. Their dark velvet chairs were all occupied by the Slytherins or other houses. Still no Gryffindor in sight.

“I’m going to find Reggie and Evan. I’ll be back.” Pandora said, eyes scanning the dancing bodies, “Don’t accept anything you didn’t see being made.”

“Why?” 

Surely date drugs don’t exist here, too, right?

“Just don’t.” Xenophilius seconded, not wanting to leave his girlfriend alone to find Regulus. “Word is, someone put some amortentia and induced euphoria mix on some drinks going around. Better be safe than sorry.”

I try to rack my head on what I specifically put on my Golden Trio script regarding drinking. Because even if my drinking tolerance is based on my CR, I shouldn’t feel this smashed. 

I didn’t know at what point I started feeling hazy. The last thing I remember was Narcissa’s warm smile and embraced as she greeted me on the dance floor. Then, protectively, she led me to some of her other friends: a 7th year named Ornella Zabini and a 5th year named Dorcas Meadows. 

Someone spilt a drink at my chest when the three were distracted, and the next thing I knew, I was weaving through the crowd like a girl on a conquest—ignoring Narcissa’s panic calls—not knowing who I was specifically looking for. The only thing on my mind was to find who the scent filling my nostril belonged to; broom polish, butterbeer and the smell of morning dew.

So how did I end up on Gideon Prewett’s lap, giggling like a doe-eyed schoolgirl and confusing even Regulus Black? Gideon smelled like broom polish and butterbeer, except the smell of musk clung to his skin instead of morning dew. 

Maybe it was enough to satisfy that need, for I haven’t moved from his lap ever since.

“If Sirius didn’t have a reason to kill me before, he certainly has now.” Regulus fretted, fingers soothing the middle of his brows, “And you are not helping at all.”

“Would you rather Lou sit on someone else’s lap than mine? Besides, it’s not like I didn’t try to get her to sit beside me inside. This way, we know she’s safe.” Gideon replied nervously, craning his neck on my side to Regulus’ direction, “Fab’s already asking around who’s circulating the potion. You know how persuasive he can be when he wants to be.”

Gideon wiggled his eyebrows, making Regulus roll his eyes, “You’d better be right, Prewett. Or Sirius’ temper would look tame compared to what I’ll do to you.”

“Aww. Doesn’t little Black look cute when he makes threats like that, Gid?” the seat beside Gideon and I dipped as another voice cooed.

“Right, he does, Fab.”

“Remind me again why you two are allowed here?” Regulus gritted his teeth, “I don’t remember Gryffindors being allowed in the pit.”

“Then who’d you get drugs from to control your friends?” Gideon asked huskily beneath me. I shivered. “Sure, you can get it from the badgers, but Pomona’s watching them like a hawk.”

“Besides, your little snakes tolerate us because we’re purebloods.” the other voice added, “The drugs were just a plus to keep the others… satiated.”

Regulus ignored the jab—grimacing when I nuzzled my face in the crook of Gideon’s neck. He turned to Fabian with tight eyes, “Did you find out who’s putting the potion on our drinks?”

“Yup.” he said, popping the p, “Narcissa and Pandora are taking care of it now.” Fabian twisted a cup of his butterbeer and swigged on its contents, “As much as I want to join in the fun, I’d rather stay away. Merlin knows how those two operate when they’re pissed.”

“And the antidote?” Regulus turned to Gideon, “Or are you going to leave Saunders clinging to you all night?”

“Just waiting on Philly to cook it up.” Gideon stated, “As much as I’m enjoying the extra attention Lou is giving me compared to the normal, I like my girls consensually aware when I give them neck kisses.”

“You’re a pig.”

“Up to yours as well, Black.”

Moments later, there was a commotion near us. Then heavy hurried footsteps. Moments later, I was being hoisted from Gideon’s lap, a jacket was wrapped around my waist to cover my legs, and I was trusted to someone’s shoulder.

“THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” someone growled beside the one carrying me, their voice loud amidst the trembling of the music around us, “WHAT DID YOU DO TO SAUNDERS?”

My body froze momentarily upon recognising the voice. What the fuck is James Potter doing here? And why am I upside down?

I couldn’t find my voice. I feel lethargic and giggly—the tiny voice in my head scolded me for drinking too much tequila. I tried to lift half of my body as I smelled those scents again, which were stronger now. But an arm prevented me from seeking. 

“I could ask you the same. You know you aren’t welcome here in the dungeons.” Regulus spat, “Go and be heroic somewhere else. We got Saunders.”

“Over my dead body!” another voice behind me said.

Is that Sirius? What the hell is going on? And who’s plump ass am I facing?

“That could be arranged, Black.” another voice—who’s not Regulus or the Prewetts—mused, “Just tell me if you prefer poison or a dagger. I’m accommodating like that.”

“Nip it, Rosier.” the voice in front of me snarled. More shuffling and grunting, “Stay out of this if you know what’s good for you.”—

“Would you relax, Potter? We didn’t do anything to Lou.” Gideon appeased, “For Merlin’s sake, Sirius, lower your wand!”

“Not until you explain why I shouldn’t blow your head off! Lulu trusted you!”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Sirius.” Fabian teased, “We’re trying to keep her safe until Philly arrives with an antidote. She was the one who sat on my brother’s lap! Did you think Regulus would let us live if we did something to Pandora’s best friend?”

“What are you insinuating? That Saunders did that of her own free will?” James spat, charging in their direction, “You could’ve made her sit beside you, you pervert!”

“What’s going on here?” Pandora exasperated between the two parties, Xenophilus and Narcissa, lagging behind her, “What the bloody hell are you gits doing here?”

“I was going to fetch Lulu for her birthday, as I told her a while ago.” Sirius stated, “Then I found her drugged and on Prewett’s lap? What kind of a friend are you?”

“Back off,” Regulus warned, his voice dangerously low, “The last thing you’d want is to blame Pandora for what happened to Saunders. You know she wouldn’t do anything to harm her.”

“And yet, she left her around vultures and snakes!”

“Hey!” the Prewett twins whined at the insinuation.

“You’re one to talk.” Regulus jested. “Familiar with that, are you?”

Sirius charged to Regulus and fisted the clothing on his chest, breathing heavily as they glared at each other.

Unexpectedly, a fit of giggles left my mouth in the middle of the tension. I could feel all of them look in my direction, tense. I immediately covered my mouth with both hands, stopping myself from giggling some more and vomiting in my dizzy state. I could feel the blood on my body all rushing towards my head. The only thing keeping me level-headed amidst the potion’s effect was that damn scent.

“Come on, mate.” A gentle but stern voice urged Sirius. I assume it was Remus. “Let’s take care of Lulu first.”

“The hell you’re taking her to that stinkin’ tower of yours!” Pandora argued fiercely. Regulus had to hold her back from prying my body from Remus’ arms.

“I’m not arguing that Lovegood.” the one beneath me said calmly, “But it’s best if we take her out of where she was put in this state. I’ll personally assure you that she’s taken care of. I didn’t drink anyway.”

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my best friend. Thank you very much!” 

“I’m sure you are. But someone sober should take care of Lulu due to the after-effects of the mixed potions spilt on her. Are you sure you’ll be able to stay awake all night in your state?”

“I’m not drunk!”

“But you’re intoxicated.” There was finality in Remus’ voice, one that even Regulus and the others couldn’t argue with, “I’m not undermining your place as her best friend. But believe that we all have her best interest at heart.”

“And how would you know what the after-effects of the potion are? You don’t even know what it is!”

“You and Narcissa weren’t exactly being subtle when you hexed Gilderoy Lockhart out of the dungeons.” Peter was the one to answer, “Plus, he tried to do the same thing to our party a while ago. So we already have Lily brewed an antidote in our common room.”

“We’ll take care of her tonight.” Remus firmly said, “You have my word.”

“You shouldn’t be straining yourself, Moony. You’re recovering from the full moo—”

“Well, thank you for fucking noticing Pads. Would you rather carry Lulu instead?”

“And get my hair tangled in those fairy wings? No thanks.”

“THEN SHUT YOUR MOUTH.”

“Grumpy.”

“Shut it, Wormy. I’ll carry Saunders, Moony. Padfoot’s right. Madam Pomfrey will have our heads if you injure yourself.”

“Respectfully fuck off, Prongs. I’m more than capable of—”

“Our tower is across the fucking castle, Moony. If you don’t fucking give Lulu to Prongsie, I’ll fucking undo your stitches myself.”

“Kinky.”

“WORMY!”

I jolted awake, surprised by their multiple outburst. I was still upside down, the lower half of my body numbed from lack of blood circulation. I felt a pause. Suddenly, I was being lifted again. This time, someone carried me bridal style instead of being carried like a bag of flour.

The scent overpowered me again, making me dizzier than I was before. Even though it brought me a weird calm, I was getting drunker—addicted even—to that sweet scent of morning dew. I nuzzle my cheek on the warmth of the person’s chest, inhaling it until my lungs drown.

I felt their chest vibrate. Then I heard the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. I look up to see none other than James Potter, spectacles and all, looking down at me with that cocky smile on his lips, glowing so beautifully even in the dark.

“Enjoying ourselves, are we, Saunders?”

My drunken face involuntarily grinned at him. “Am I dead? Are you an angel?”

They all paused. Sirius and Peter folded over and laughed loudly, almost choking on their saliva. James grinned while Remus sighed and shook his head, a faint smile on his lips.

“Can we keep Saunders like this?” James pleaded coyly at Remus as they continued to walk, “She’s so adorable I could pinch her.”

“And add more air to your humongous head? Not a chance.” Remus stated tiredly, “Besides, I gave my word to Pandora to take care of her. So my word triumphs your need to boost your ego.”

“You’re pretty,” I gushed again at James. 

That scolding voice in my head again told me how much of a blithering idiot I was, even in my drugged state. Maybe so, but my rational mind doesn’t want to make sense anymore. I can always reason that I’m under the influence of the potion, but the truth is, this was the only time I could say it out loud without us getting awkward at each other.

I’d be a fool not to notice those sharp jaws and those cute freckles dusted on his cheeks. The way he smiles has a lot of arrogance but an underlying shyness as if he knows he’s too cocky but is afraid to be perceived as such. And those sure but gentle brown eyes, the way they shined so bright when he’s happy and darkened when he’s sad or feeling a particularly negative emotion. Those eyes reflect his inner turmoil and let us read him like an open book.

Those goddamn eyes.

Yet, it still confused me why my insides get giddy whenever he’s around. Try as I might to ignore him, I find that I’m the focus of those eyes lately. James tries to keep it subtle, but as I am aware of the people around me, I often feel him burning holes in my head. Logically, I know my feelings for him are just admiration for his looks. But whenever Sirius tells me another story of how admirable, kind and generous James is, it makes me question why I’m suppressing my blooming affection for him.

Then I remembered I’m not from this reality. And involving myself in one of the main characters of this reality will alter the world and story I grew up loving, even despite the sadness and heartaches.

“I know, Fairy Princess. Now, shush and close those pretty eyes of yours. We’re almost at our tower.”

I kept quiet and calmed myself with the rhythm of his heartbeat in my ear.

This is safe, right? I can say and do that much without it being a problem. It’s all perfectly innocent.

“What’s the plan with the Prewetts and Lockhart?” Peter queried, bouncing in excitement, “Prongs looked like he was already planning Gideon’s funeral a while ago.”

“We’ll do nothing.” Remus answered, “Not until we know the whole story. Let’s not be unreasonable. Especially you, Sirius.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Yes, but your thinking out loud says otherwise. And Moony’s right, as always.” James agreed, surprising Remus, “We don’t want a full-scale prank war with the Prewetts in the middle of OWLs year, or my precious Lily Flower will explode.” there was a murmur of agreement while one huffed, “Besides, this is Lockhart’s fault. I’m more than willing to kill him, but we must devise a safer plan to get back at him.”

When we arrived at their tower, the Marauders argued about where I should sleep. The party was still in full swing, so it was a surprise how no one noticed four boys carrying an almost unconscious girl to their dorm.

Then the arguing continued. From the little I gathered, it was where I’d sleep and how they’ll get me out of my costume. They’re debating entrusting me to Lily since they have a spare bed, but they don’t want to take chances with Marlene being so nosy when she’s drunk. After all the arguing and one tiredly Remus yelling at them that he’ll make the decision, I was laid on someone’s bed. 

Someone, a girl, yelled at all of them to get out while she changed me to something more comfortable. She kept apologising as she stripped each garment on my body and wiped my face free of make-up. My eyes cracked slightly, and I saw a glimpse of red illuminated by the glow of the dorm’s light. Then Remus Lupin tipped a bitter potion on my lips this time. I could tell it was him because of the calluses I felt against my skin and the gentle way he held me. 

The last thing I remember was reaching out and clinging to that scent, even after I started feeling the potion take effect. 

Broom polish.

Butterbeer.

Morning dew.

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