The One Minute Rule

James stops him outside the classroom, gently grabbing his sleeve and pulling him close. Regulus doesn't protest, rests his arms on James' shoulders, stares at his face.

"What is it?" 

"I guess I just missed my lover," he whispers. No one else can hear him.

"Oh? Can't get enough of your fake boyfriend? How heartwarming," Regulus scoffs. 

"Mhm, besides..." James raises his hand and reaches for Regulus' hair, bewitched as he strokes the dark curls, "hm? What it might be?" he asks, and when he pulls away, there is a small scrap of parchment between his fingers.

"I don't— oh, you moron. You put it there," he snorts, "don't tell me I've been walking around all morning with parchment on my head."

"Maybe. Read it later, okay?" 

"Why?"

James smiles chastely. "Well... Let's say that it's just something I am afraid to tell you directly, but I still want you... to, er, know it. So I wrote it down. I don't want to see the look on your face when you read it, though."

Regulus smirks. "You? Too afraid to say something? Are you no longer brave, James Potter?" he cocks his nose to look him straight in the eye, "too bad."

"And whose fault is it?"

They stare at each other for a moment, as if they're holding a tournament to see who'll be the last to blink. Regulus loses.

His shoes start to pinch, and his elbows start to itch as James just innocently grins and scratches the back of his neck. He thinks about telling him what he overheard in the library. Because that's their deal, right? James would like to know.

"I heard Lily talking about you." He gulps, waiting.

"A lot of people talk about me," James replies, which is met with a snort from Regulus. Prancing as always.

"But it was all about Evans, yeah? So it worked," he says, cool air brushing his nape, "aren't you curious?"

"Oh, I guess. Tell me."

"She said that..." He stops as someone in the hallway pokes him on the shoulder as he passes. Regulus frowns in irritation. James puts a hand on his arm, "I'm going to walk all over his face if he touches me one more time."

"Come on, it's just some kid."

"I'll give him a traumatic childhood then."

James laughs. Regulus relaxes his face a little but is still annoyed. Because someone poked him in a crowded hallway. Because he has to think and even talk about Lily Evans. Because it has no right to make him angry, but it does anyway. And maybe he should stay out of the way, then no one would run into him, and maybe it's his fault and that he put himself through all this, since he was the one who started the topic, but it doesn't change the fact that he still frowns and pouts his lips.

"Lily said that you seem to care about me, and that she thinks it's cute."

"She's right. I'm taking the best care of you. Don't you think?"

"But are you not satisfied?" Regulus murmurs softly, ignoring the question, "I mean, uh... Lily is paying attention to you. To us. Your, er... plan. It's working on her."

James nods slowly, as if in thought. "Mhm. Is it working on Barty?"

More icy air moving from Regulus's neck down his spine. He shudders. Why is it so cold in here? Did someone open all the windows?

"What?" he asks. He feels like his jaw is trembling, "what are you talking about, James?"

James' expression remains the same. Nothing has changed, he must not have felt the cold. "I'm just asking."

"... What?" 

"Well... you told me you had one more reason. And you don't want to tell Barty that, you know... we aren't... actually dating. Like for real dating," James tilts his head back slightly, Regulus avoids his gaze, "so... I guess you fancy him, right?"

Silence.

"Thought so."

Regulus blinks. "You seem downright disappointed."

"I am. You could do better."

"Oho, that's not very nice. Mean, I dare to call it. How are you being mean?" Regulus wants to smile somehow, but he can't bring himself to look up from the floor. He feels humiliated. How had James Potter, of all people, managed to read his feelings so easily? Maybe he shouldn't underestimate him. And why does he feel so pathetic about the fact that he was caught having a crush on someone? Even if it's nothing unheard of among young people, in his opinion it still feels... not in line with him.

He's mad at himself for not trying to deny it. Now James knows. And it is irreversible.

"I'm just... being honest."

"You are not in the right place to judge me," Regulus almost hisses.

"I guess I'm not. But I can judge him. You like crooked teeth, I see? That's pretty odd. And protruding ears? Seriously? He looks like a house elf, but one you'd rather keep in the garden for your own safety. Besides, he can't even play Quidditch. Did he win the cup? No. And you know who did? Me."

"I couldn't care less, Potter."

"Shut up."

Regulus slowly looks up at him, surprised by his boldness. James doesn't look proud or boastful. He doesn't even smile, as if he's just being playful. He looks... rather blank. Lips pressed into a tight line, brown eyes relentlessly piercing him.

"What? Are you jealous?" he frowns.

James raises one eyebrow. "Me? No. I'm just thinking how hard it must be for you not to laugh around me, but to be happy as a clam when you're with him."

"I'll tell you if you tell me how hard it is being so damn unfunny."

"You should know."

"I'd rather make sure. I'm talking to an expert."

James snorts and smirks meanly. Regulus thinks he's never seen him like this before. Angry. Offended. He never even imagined that he would see it. And that he would find it hot. He should be annoyed and should stand up for his friend, but he can't shake his surprise, so he opens his eyes wider, looks at him curiously. And that seems to annoy James even more, because he's grimacing and gesticulating as if he's trying to shoo Regulus away.

"Ah, yes. Who would have thought? You know what? Go to Barty, why don't you? I bet you can be nice to him."

He can't help but smile with amusement. 

"Oh, yes. I'm always nice to Barty. Actually..." he stops, not sure if he wants to go into it. But James is staring at him with something that's a mix of anticipation and derision. He clears his throat. "Well, you asked if it's working. I think, yeah. He wants to talk to me tonight."

"Great."

"Yeah..."

"Mhm."

"And he also said he also wanted to show me something in the greenhouse," Regulus adds hesitantly, "so... see you tomorrow?"

"Fantastic." I hope he fucking stumbles and falls face down in the grass and becomes worm food, he thinks. "I hope you have fun," he says, smiling again.

James Potter has an unfavorable relationship with his feelings and not necessarily good skills at understanding them.

Thankfully, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin are much better at this than him. And they're willing to listen to him mumble again and... well, again, right?

"I just can't understand..." he begins, "why is he like this?"

His friends look at him with disappointment in their eyes as he sits on the bed with his legs folded, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"And... that is?" Peter asks. James shrugs.

"It simply doesn't make sense that he prefers this friend of his. Barty. Bartemius. He's not even that smart or funny, is he? But he makes Regulus laugh somehow. And he's not pretty at all."

Remus smirks. "Oho. I can't agree with you on this one. Boy, he's fit."

"Shut up, Moony," James groans, "you're not helping."

"And you're just jealous. Quit being so dramatic, he's your boyfriend, right?" Peter smiles slyly, "yes or no?"

James wants to deny it. He wants to explain to them that Regulus is not actually his boyfriend. That he wouldn't mind at all if he was, but it's not like he likes him or something, he just... wouldn't mind, yeah? Being together for real. He has nothing against it.

And he wants to tell them that Barty is the actual problem at this point, but he can't. So he winces and nods.

"Exactly," Remus raises his eyebrows, amused, "then just talk to him. And tell him it's getting to you."

"Or..." Peter narrows his eyes, "follow them under the Cloak of Invisibility and find out if you have anything to worry about."

James hums thoughtfully. He stretches, straightens his spine, paces the room twice.

"Are you sure it's okay to do that?" he asks.

He knows it's not okay. But curiosity easily wins over him, and maybe he doesn't quite understand the meaning of being jealous and doesn't want to think about it more than necessary either, because the burning sensation in his fingertips is unbearable.

Besides, it's not like he can't just be concerned out of sheer sympathy for his pretend lover, right? Maybe it's because he treats Regulus like a friend, and if his friend is going to have a real boyfriend, it's important that it's someone decent. Not Barty.

Even if he never had a word with him. It's just the way his eyes glow with mischief, and maybe that, rather than the crooked teeth, is what makes him attractive to Regulus. 

James wonders if he got malicious too, would he get a, uh... chance. But it's not like he cares much about it, he's just curious.

It's all curiosity. 

Out of curiosity, he follows them under the Cloak of Invisibility to the greenhouse and bites his lip out of curiosity because he can't help but wonder what's wrong with him that Regulus still doesn't have any romantic feelings for him after all the time they've spent together.

Not that he wants to, of course. He only wishes to understand.

As he walks quietly through the Hogwarts grounds from the castle, he finds himself clenching his jaw.

Regulus, struggling through the unmown, yellow and sloping grass in front of him, has his hands cracked and reddened from the wind, one hidden behind his back, the other holding his wand. Barty tells him something, gesticulating wildly. They're about to disappear around the corner, so James catches up and slips between the glass doors before they slam shut in his face.

Before he turns around, he hears three voices. One quiet and subdued. Regulus. The second is hoarse but cheerful. Barty. And there is also a third one, very weak and a bit screechy.

He recognizes it. Behind a tattered yellow curtain, there is a talking plant in the corner. He found it already in the first year.

"Shhh, he's quite shy..." Barty says, "I happened to come across him recently and wanted to show you. Listen."

Regulus crouches down next to him, pushing out a white medical table. The fat cactus-like plant opens, what seems to be, its sleepy eyes. It makes a sound similar to a yawn.

"Hi," Barty greets, "sorry, we didn't mean to wake you up."

The flower groans painfully.

"It's nothing, it's nothing... I missed you."

James grimaces under the cloak. When he tried to talk to this plant, it was particularly snotty to him, but speaks such sweet words to Barty. How unfair.

"Yeah, it's good to see you again."

"Will you come tomorrow too? After I get some sleep. Oh, I'm so, so, so... sleepy," it yawns again. "Sleepy like a bear in late autumn."

Regulus has a soft smile on his lips as the cactus closes its green quasi-eyes again and smacks as if placed in the most comfortable position ever. It starts to snore.

Barty laughs and pulls Regulus by the arm towards the large wooden table. He draws back the yellow curtain, very carefully, as if to give the plant some privacy.

"Cool, right?"

James frowns. He could have shown this to Regulus much sooner. He found it before. He's also found way cooler things than a bloody cactus, but apparently since it's him and not Barty, that wouldn't be impressive at all. 

"Didn't expect you to befriend plants."

"I can surprise."

"Mhm, I don't dare doubt it," Regulus says, smirking. James wants to throw up. "But we came here because you wanted to tell me something, so... I'm listening."

"Er, well." Barty seems perplexed. "You may have already noticed, but..."

"Yeah?" he pushes.

"I like someone," he confesses, "but I was a bit scared you'd turn your back on me if I told you. I mean, er... don't get me wrong! I trust you, you know that. I was just ashamed. But I think you should know, since we're best mates."

James blinks, staring at him with his mouth open. So there it goes, his apprehension is coming true.

Regulus blinks, too, as he realizes something very important.

Barty takes their relationship very seriously. It's almost as if they made a blood pact, and, to be honest, it's very possible that they actually did. He follows all the rules of their friendship and does everything so that there are no misunderstandings between them. He's been doing that forever.

It's now clear why he reacted the way he did when he found out about James. It felt like one of their unwritten rules had been broken.

The point is, Barty would tell Regulus first if something like this happened to him. He just did. He always tells him first about everything, or doesn't tell anyone at all.

But Regulus hadn't even planned to mention it to him. So he stands here and watches his friend avoid making the same mistake he made. 

How unfair. Regulus feels ashamed because he realizes that he has been treating Barty unfairly all along and has only been getting open communication in return. 

His cheeks turn red, and he covers them with his sleeve. He tries not to think that he doesn't deserve Barty. And that he doesn't deserve any of his friends. They're all too good for him. Pandora, Evan, Dorcas. Burning feeling in his nostrils and throat. He feels like crying, but he fakes a smile. It would be so pathetic for him to cry in front of anyone.

"Who is it?" he asks. 

He's surprised that he hopes it's not him. 

After all, he wanted it for a couple of months. November Regulus wishes Barty would say his name right now, and January Regulus grits his teeth hoping it's someone else. Maybe because he doesn't feel like he will ever be enough for Barty, or maybe it's because of his negative attitude towards... any truly romantic emotions. Or for some other reason he simply can't fathom.

"So..." He scratches his neck. "It's someone you know. Well, to be precise... you know him very well..."

A boy. 

"And he's a Slytherin..."

Oh?

"He has gray eyes and likes cats..."

Fuck.

"Smart, funny..." Barty continues dreamily with a slightly playful smile.

They ignore the slam of the door. James left. He didn't even bother to do it quietly, but they thought it must have been the wind anyway.

"You mean...?" Regulus does not dare to continue. He looks expectantly at Barty.

"Yeah, Evan."

Evan. Evan? Evan Rosier?

Regulus laughs in relief and raises his eyebrows.

"What? You thought I meant you?" Barty taunts, giving him a nudge in the side.

"Yeah, you prick! Bloody hell," he rubs his temples, "you got me."

"Well... you have a boyfriend. So I wouldn't tell you if it was you, even if I wanted to."

Regulus opens his mouth and stares. His fingers begin to sweat, so he rubs them nervously.

"I lied," he says.

"Huh?"

"I lied to you, Barty. James and I aren't really together. It's fake. I liked you and I did something unfair because of it, and I'm sorry."

He looks confused. No wonder he does. Regulus sighs and continues.

"It was James' idea, he has some bet with my brother and the rest, whatever. I don't know. But I agreed to pretend with him. And I didn't want you to know because it's humiliating that my first and only relationship isn't even real. Because I liked you. Or I told myself I liked you. I'm not sure. But I knew I didn't want you to see me that way."

"Oh. I had no idea."

"Of course not," Regulus speaks softly. "But that's it, yeah? I think it is. I'm glad you told me about Evan, and I mean it. I'm truly glad."

His words are sincere. He can't help but smile because he's finally taken that burden off himself and doesn't have to carry it around like a stone attached to his heart.

Barty grins, grabs Regulus' hands, "he, he... no way! Black fancied me?"

"Shut up," he rolls his eyes.

"No I won't. Merlin!" he laughs. "Aww, poor little Black. You couldn't get over your devastating crush on me, so you got yourself James Potter."

"One more word and I might start hating you."

"No, you love me," he beams.

"But aren't you mad at me?" Regulus asks doubtfully.

Barty shakes his head. "No, I get it. It's possible I'd do something like that myself, honestly."

"Evan told me that, too," he laughs.

"Just promise me that from now on you'll at least try to be more open with me, okay? Sometimes you're just... really hard to reach. To understand. I always try my best, but you have to cooperate too, Reg. Stop shutting yourself off from me."

"I will. I'm sorry."

Barty ruffles his hair and grabs his arm, leading him out of the greenhouse. "It was hard to keep it a secret."

"I know."

"But are you sure you and Potter are just pretending? I mean... look at him. A puppy. He's just like a puppy with you. Well, a kicked puppy, but still."

Regulus rolls his eyes, "Ah, yes. This one, Evan said that, too. Merlin, you two really fit together."

On the way to the Great Hall, he limps as if all his bones have grown together into one huge museum structure. He walks stiff-legged at Peter's side, two paces behind a cheerful Sirius talking to Remus.

That's when they turn the corner and meet Barty, Regulus, Evan and Pandora. Dorcas cannot be found by sight. He remembers that Marlene hasn't been seen all afternoon either, and that fact is an answer in itself.

James curses under his breath because he'd rather meet a Boggart than them, but he smiles as he watches Sirius ruffle his brother's hair lovingly.

"Hello, you little prick."

"Hey Sirius," he says in a monotone voice, but his gaze is tender, "let me go."

"Oi, did you want to say hi to your boyfriend before me?" his tone is meant to sound offended, but comes out rather amused.

"Of course," he smiles maliciously, "how could you possibly think otherwise?"

Pandora giggles, tugging Evan's sleeve toward the entrance to the Great Hall. 

James clears his throat. He looks a bit awkward as he walks over to Regulus and kisses him lightly on the lips, barely a smack, but he reads a silent agreement in his eyes. Especially since they're all staring at them.

Regulus places his hand on his cheek and is about to deepen the kiss, but James quickly pulls away. Something is off. 

He stares blankly at Barty, who is leaning against the wall, completely unfazed. He raises his eyebrows provocatively as he meets James's gaze.

"Great. Just before dinner. I'm not even hungry anymore," Sirius complains, which makes Remus smile. He feigns a gag reflex and catches up with Peter, who is already at the door.

Regulus feels flustered but tries not to let it show. James avoids his gaze, mumbles see you later, and follows his friends to take a seat at the table.

He turns to Barty, who is smirking behind his back.

"Oho. Your lover boy hates me," he says.

"He's acting weird, isn't he? He usually looks for every possible opportunity to kiss me. He can't possibly be mad at me," he wonders, "I guess I was a little mean to him yesterday."

"He should be used to it by now," Barty says, extending his arm to Regulus, "come on, don't worry about it. Let's go, I'm hungry as a bear."

And just moments ago, James might have said the same thing, but somehow the fish bones got stuck in his throat.

"You alright, mate?" Remus asks, "are you going to eat it?" he gestures at his practically empty plate.

"No."

"What? No, no. Come on, we've got meatloaf with vegetables, or roast with cranberries..." Remus suggests, "why don't you at least have some dessert? What are you hungry for?"

Peter looks up, his mouth stuffed with dinner, "Regulus Black," he says, cheered.

"Shut it."

"But you are. You'd eat your dinner if Regulus Black was on the menu, wouldn't you?" he teases.

James doesn't answer. Sirius rolls his eyes dramatically.

"Mhm, speak of the devil," Remus murmurs and shifts in his chair as he sees Regulus stiffly approach their table. His eyebrows are furrowed, mouth pressed into a thin line.

"You guys must be having separation anxiety because not even half an hour has passed, and he's here again," Sirius laughs, turning briskly towards his brother, "always glad to see your face so similar to mine."

"Always grateful for being born with these superior genes," he narrows his eyes mischievously. Sirius grunts ostentatiously, but Regulus no longer pays attention to him. "James."

"Yeah?"

"I can't find today's note anywhere," he says.

"No wonder you can't. It slipped my mind," he waves his hand in the air as if banishing an inconsequential thought, "there is no today's note."

"Oh."

"I had no time yesterday."

"I see," he says. His tone sounds grim, perhaps a little resentful. "Well."

James runs a hand through his hair and looks around at his friends, who have sensed the stiff atmosphere and have gone back to their meals in silence, trying not to look too curious. "Something's wrong?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

"You tell me."

"Just think about it, Reg. I always have to make time for you, but when you don't have time for me, then that's fine? Come on, I can't even have a bad day anymore?"

Oh, so he's angry. Still.

"Well, that's not what I meant..." Regulus says, his voice low. Some students try to discreetly stare at them.

"I hope so," James replies.

"Yeah, er, enjoy... your meal. Or something. Don't choke."

"Might as well."

Shivers run down Regulus' spine as he leaves with a grim expression on his face. James turns back to the table.

He tries to ignore Sirius' questioning look and starts fumbling aimlessly on his plate with his fork.

"The fuck, mate?" Peter is the first one to speak up. "What was that about?"

"He was with Crouch yesterday."

"Well, yes, you told us about it. And I mean...they're friends." Remus looks at him pityingly. He seems to consider his words, due to Sirius listening with interest, "have been friends for years. It's not surprising that they spend time together."

"Sure. Whatever. I don't want to talk about it."

Remus shrugs. Sirius, although he would love to importune, he sees that it's better to leave it.

Dorcas leans her back against a tree trunk, the uneven bark digging uncomfortably into her skin. Regulus paces back and forth, eyes fixed on the yellowish grass.

Pandora looks up at the hazy sky, a faint smile on her lips. She walks over to Dorcas, crouches down by the beech. Tall branches hang over them as if they were trying to wrap them up against the cold with lots of hands.

Regulus stops in place, his shoes covered in mud after crossing the path around the lake. He sighs anguish.

"I think..." he starts quietly, "I'm afraid I'm getting too involved. When James was so aloof to me this morning, I wanted to hide somewhere in the sleeves of my sweater. Or when he kissed me so reluctantly."

"Maybe you just can't stand it when someone is angry with you?" Pandora suggests.

"Oh, no. He loves when someone is angry with him," Dorcas replies, smiling, "I guess you just can't take rejection."

Pandora laughs pityingly, Dorcas snorts.

"Come on, it's not at all as complicated as you describe it."

"But it is!" he says, gesturing in frustration, "it is! Listen, you don't get it. Look, yesterday he gave me a scrap of parchment, and he's been giving me those scraps all along," he hands Pandora a note that she gently unfolds and reads, "and, Merlin, he makes me... feel things. This is crazy. I'm having feelings again."

Dorcas raises one eyebrow. "Yeah, I have feelings every day of my life. Are you saying you didn't have feelings before?"

Regulus rubs his temples, staring intensely at his feet, "of course. I'm not twelve anymore."

She scoffs. 

"And what exactly does he make you feel?" Pandora asks, turning the scrap of parchment in her fingers, "the words he wrote are quite... I don't know. Lovely."

"Read it to me," Dorcas says.

"I wish the world was kinder to you. I wish your past was easier. And I hope all the wounded parts of you will be healed, filled with happiness to the brim. From James Potter to his favorite star."

"How cheesy," she sneers, rolling her eyes with a smile.

Regulus turns his head away, not wanting them to see his red cheeks. His eyes scan the surface of the lake moved by the wind.

"So...?" Pandora awaits an answer.

"I don't know. I guess he amuses me. Entertains."

"Is that all...?"

"Well, right now all he's doing is confusing me so yeah. I don't want that."

Dorcas rubs her eyelids. "Get your shit together, Regs. He'll get over being angry with you in no time, and you'll get over worrying about it."

"That's true. Just go and talk to him. I'm sure Potter can't hold a grudge."

Regulus bites his lip. Maybe they're right.

Heeding the advice of his friends, Regulus wanders the corridors until he bumps into James, who is sitting with Lily on the windowsill, looking out over the empty courtyard.

He's wearing James' sweater and awkwardly pulls it down to his thighs before walking over to them. He notices Lily's foot resting on his knee, her head tilted against the wall, hand touches his shoulder.

Regulus grimaces.

"Hi!" she spots him first and smiles brightly.

"Hey," Regulus mutters. His eyes are focused on James and the next words fall out of his throat quickly, as if he is afraid that if he doesn't get rid of them, he will choke on them, "tonight, all right? I want to tell you something."

He gets an arrogant snort and head shake in response. Tell me what? That it's over because Barty finally wants you, so I'm no longer useful?

"Oh, I already know that."

"No, I don't think you do," Regulus' voice is timid. It's humiliating enough to bring himself to reveal anything to James about his feelings, especially to admit that he cares. And yet he is not met with mercy.

"I am convinced," he hisses, his voice brooks no objection.

It is unbelievable. James Potter, with an expression as frustrated as this, and a voice as cold as winter snow.

"Er... so was it... noticeable?" Regulus asks, clenching his jaw and digging his nails into the palm of his hand, hiding them behind the folds of James' sweater.

"Could say so."

"Ah."

Regulus turns around, gritting his teeth. He throws his head back and blinks a couple of times as he feels his eyes start to burn. He hopes he won't shed a single tear for James Potter. He has been perfidiously used and humiliated by him, and in return he will not get even an iota of sympathy. Merlin, he hates him.