A Promise
“If you came here for an apology, leave.”
He was going to make this harder for me then it had to be. “I came here to say goodbye.”
“No. You came here because you think that sense I’m on the brink of death I’ll say I’m proud of you. That I see you.” His vein bulged out of his forehead, “Well here’s the truth, I do see you. And it’s nothing I’m proud of.”
If he wasn’t about to die, this is where I would have blocked him out; but since these were likely the final words of my oh so loving father, I let him say it. “You want me to say that you are doing good with the kingdom. That’s in good hands. But you just got lucky. You are not fit to be a ruler.” I almost laughed. Bullshit. The economy was the best it’s ever been. I have been ruling for four months and the employment rate has gone up 5%, homelessness went down 7% and education was more accessible. “You want me to look at statistics, but looking at you is enough.”
“I have seen you scared. I have seen you weary. Don’t slip up. Because if this kingdom sees what you truly are, they will overthrow you. Because you are worthless.” His words pushed on my eyes, but all I felt was rage. “You can look at the sun all you want. You can become it and blind everyone so they won’t see that you are selfish; but always remember, I was never blinded. I know what you are. You are my biggest mistake.”
“Go to hell.”
“Excuse me-”
I stood up and leaned down to his level, and got right in his face. “Go. To. Hell.”
His mouth stood agape. He was silent. It was the first time I tried fighting against him. The first time I stood up for myself. I always imagined it would be a big emotional speech, but this was a nice compromise. I watched as he struggled for his words and made my first promise to myself.
I wasn't going to give myself the luxury of being in the shadows: I was going to burn as bright as the sun.
I was going to prove he was wrong. For the rest of my life, for the rest of my rule, my father’s words would fade into nothing. I would get over it, and I would succeed. He would not affect me anymore. I stood up and left.
He got to die alone.