You Call It Rude, I Call it Buisness
My father’s funeral was big; bigger than my mothers.
It seemed as if the whole kingdom showed up, and I never was quite sure how that made me feel. I wasn’t sad, that I knew for certain, but I was nervous. Not because I was next to the coffin or had to give a eulogy, but because in the days to follow I would be instated as the Princess. The whole kingdom would be my responsibility, and I was only nineteen. Of course, I was already leading the kingdom when my father became bedridden, but having the official title would make everything more real.
Yet, it was also liberating. All the threats my father made to marry me off in a loveless marriage were gone. I could start changing the kingdom for the better. All the ideas I couldn’t do since my father was still the official King could be done. My heart was pumping with excitement as I prepared myself to rule the kingdom. It was my father’s funeral and I was happy.
The only time my mind quieted itself was when I paid my respects before the kingdom at my father’s casket. In Sarsaland tradition, I held a small flat bottom candle, ready to blow it out and place it on the floor next to his casket. I was then to leave the chapel as the rest of the kingdom did the same. Peach had walked up with me, holding a candle of her own, and squeezed my arm. When I looked at her she smiled brightly, and I managed to smile back.
Two years later, her father was assassinated, and I learned that smiling back at Peach was the last thing I was supposed to do. When I walked up with her to her father’s casket, I squeezed her arm and smiled at her. She stared at me blankly, a tear rolling down her cheek. That was one of the three differences between her father’s funeral, and my father’s funeral.
Number one. Usually when people die, though there is sadness in the air, you exchange the fun good stories with people. That happened at King Toadstool's funeral, not my father’s.
Number two. When Peach blew out her candle she wailed bitterly. When I did the faintest smile was on my lips.
Number three. When the King Toadstool’s castle was lowered into the ground, Peach whispered a prayer for her father to the cosmos. When my father was put six feet under, I didn’t even bother to thank the cosmos. I learned by the age of seven that they wouldn’t answer my prayers.
***
I met King Boo a year after my father’s death when I was twenty. It was a visit that wasn’t expected and I didn’t like. I was in my private office signing a multitude of papers. The kingdom was doing okay. I’ll admit, the first year was tough, but the future was promising and I was proud of my work. But I wasn’t satisfied. So for that afternoon I had looked myself in my office to go ahead on my paperwork so I could have room for a Improvement with the council the next day
That’s when a puff of smoke seemed to explode into my room.I jumped from the sudden entrance and coughed harshly into my hand. “Sorry to scare you. Didn’t mean too.”
Upon closer inspection, I saw the Boo’s crown and realized that the ruler of the Boo Kingdom was in front of me. He smiled wide, a smile that haunted my dreams after. Saliva drooled down his face as he started the conversation with me. “I have something that I would like to discuss with you. A provision if you-”
Here’s one thing having a father who is high on appearances teaches you; never let them see your true emotions. Be quick, do not break. When you want to cry you do it offstage. And most of all, do not let someone think they have the high ground over you. That is the highest form of disrespect. So instead of being surprised about this visit, I attacked the King at the source of the problem.
He was here.
“If you would like to discuss something with me, you need to get an appointment.” I gestured to the door. “I’m sure my advisor Trisky would be more than happy to do that for you.”
“Princess I assure you, this will be of high interest-”
“If you do not leave my office I will consider this evasion.” I pushed my reading glasses up my nose (Yes I have reading glasses, get over it.), and returned to my papers. King Boo stared at me in disbelief.
Without warning the lights started to flicker and my papers floated up above me. My mask slips at the sudden action, but I quickly give the King a look of annoyance. “Fine. What would you like to discuss?”
King Boo smiles wider and returns all the objects to the ground. “I knew you’d come around! Now I would like to discuss a very exciting opening for you.” He spins in the air as if to hype it up. “I was going to make this proposition to your father, but that didn’t turn out as planned. Sorry for your loss.” He still smiled as he said it.
“Now, historically my kingdom wouldn’t make alliances or any truce with others, however that changed with the Koopa kingdom about a century ago.” He hovers around the room as he says it. “Of course, that alliance was broken when I left.” He didn’t leave, the alliance was demolished. Within two years of his rule, King Bowser abolished the alliance saying “I’d rather lose my crown than have this kingdom associated with such evil.” THE KING OF THE KOOPA KINGDOM, which was known for its more evil side of history, thought the Boo Kingdom was more corrupt.
“No.” I said flatly.
A flash of rage went through his eyes. “Let me finish. I never have needed many alliances. Just one. And with the work you have been doing, it’s clear Sarsaland is going back to its glory days.” It would be a nice compliment, if I wasn’t focused on the droll coming out of his mouth. I grimaced as some of it fell to the floor. “Not only that, but I’m going to give you an offer that I have not extended to any other Princess. I would like to offer you my hand in marriage, so when I take over this planet, we can rule side by side, and join our kingdoms together” My mask fell off. What was this? I barely even knew the man and he was asking me to throw away the life I had built here, and just give it to him. He was here reciting history as if I didn’t know it, and expecting me to kiss his feet at the offer.
“I don't quite-” And it turns out that dead men are no different from alive ones, because he had the audacity to interrupt me.
“Oh dear, you don’t need to!” His smile grew wider. “All you need to do is what’s best for your kingdom. I even got a contract ready for you!” Fumes of smoke appear to reveal a black contract with gold ink. I didn’t know much about magic, but I do know that when you sign a contract like this, your life is bound to it. How was I supposed to deal with this situation? My father would weigh the options, ask questions, and ultimately would sign the contract because it held what he found most attractive. Power.
He would have married me off no question.
I heard the words he would tell me, as if he was a ghost haunting me. Sign it. He has immense power and will conquer this planet either way, we want to be on the winning end of that. What about the others? The alliance with the Mushroom Kingdom would leave, and how could I betray Peach? And even Bowser doesn’t want to get in ties with this guy- You are letting your emotions get in the way. Forget about the people this will affect. Our family would go down in history if you accept this. Just pick up the pen.
Emotions. My father always said they were a bad thing. They prevented you from seeing reason, they took away your opportunities. That’s why he didn’t want me to succeed him. I was a being with too many emotions. But I admit, when you are ruling a kingdom, there is truth in setting aside your emotions. So I weighed my options.
I was only two years into ruling and the council was already pushing me to find a partner so I could have an heir. King Boo was a powerful ally to have. This arrangement would leave everyone happy, except for the hundreds who would die under King Boo’s call.
I grabbed the contract and wrote words down. “I’m glad you are reasonable! This is the right choice.” He grabs the contract and looks proudly at the initials. Only they weren’t there. Instead his smile was replaced with confusion as he sounded out what I wrote. “Suck my d-”
I booked it to the door screaming for guards to come in. The bookcase by the door is forced down by magic, blocking my exit.“We aren’t finished yet.” King Boo in his rage lost his smile. His eyes glowed red and the objects around me started to float. Here’s one thing my father didn’t teach me. You need to understand that sometimes, you don’t have the high ground.
“Now I will give you another shot.” Another contract appears in front of me. “I’ll even give you the pen.” The pen from my desk floats to me and lands in my hand. “It’s for the best.”
I grunted. “Why do you need me? We have nothing to offer you.”
King Boo sighed. “I’m getting impatient.”
Then it hit me. “You want my kingdom's star.” Boo’s face confirmed my suspicion. “Part of the agreement with the Koopa Kingdom was supplying your kingdom with a star. When they abolished the treaty, you lost that star.” It was my turn to smile. “Your kingdom is suffering.”
He shakes around. “And what if it is? Are you really going to let my kingdom suffer because you don’t want to sign this contract?”
“Yes.” My smile radiates through the room. He needs me to sign this. It’s the only way his foolish conquering can start to happen. He needs me. I have the high ground.
Guards yell and bang on the door.
“Leave.” I stared into his eyes.
“You are going to-.”
I laugh and walk over to the curtains,l knowing full well he couldn’t hurt me. I slowly open them as natural light comes in. If he was weak in power, this would be able to vaporize his form. Before I opened the curtains completely I smiled brightly. “Go back to hell.” He disappeared.
In the week to follow, I had a meeting with Peach to tell her of King Boo’s visit, and his plans. We took a public political stance against the Boo kingdom. I even sent a letter about the situation to King Bowser, warning him of King Boo, and telling him about the star.
His kingdom deserved the heads up too.